New Year


Good morning everyone!

I’m going to start off this Monday with some bad news. The Final Shade of Fifty is going to be on hold, indefinitely.

Here’s where I’m at.

I started this story with one idea, and realized about half-way through that I wanted to go in a different direction. But the problem with doing that when you post weekly is that the stuff you want to scrap and do differently has already been published. I can’t really just start over. So, now I’m in a position where I either have to try and ret-con everything I did in the beginning, which would make the first 20+ chapters of this story completely pointless and would make this book 60-70 chapters long, or I’d have to do some things that would betray the characters that I’ve spent 3 books creating. Neither are great options, so I’ve decided after weeks and weeks of internal struggle, that I’m going to just put this on a shelf for awhile.

The other half of this is that I’m just really more interested in creating original content right now. It’s hard to focus on one story when my mind is constantly occupied with other things I want to write, including an original version of Shades of Fifty. Obviously, it’s going to take a lot of work to make this story an original, and I’ve been fairly cognizant of the changes that I want to make as I’ve been writing. However, with the Final Shade of Fifty, a lot of what I’ve written won’t translate to the changes I’m going to make on the revamp, and therefore will not really progress the story in any meaningful way. I kind of feel like I’m just giving myself double work, which has been a huge demotivator.

I have been writing another story behind the scenes, which I planned to post once The Final Shade of Fifty was finished, but since TFSOF was what I was actually posting, that was the story that had to take precedent when it came down to my writing time and since I obviously haven’t been doing much writing for TFSOF, you can guess how much writing I’ve done for my other story. Therefore, I’ve decided that I’m going to start working on making Shades of Fifty original now, and will move on to the other stories I want to tell once I’ve brought these characters to their conclusion.

But what to do with what’s already posted for The Final Shade of Fifty?

I’m going to remove it.

It doesn’t seem like a good idea to leave a half-finished story that I’m not even passionate about sitting on the site for new readers to come a long and be like… wait, that’s the end? WTF?!!! So, I’m going to leave it to you all. Do you want me to make a shareable PDF of the story for you all to have? Or is everyone okay letting it go, like me? I will leave Different, Broken, and Stronger up, at least until I’m finished with the original versions, and I will let you all know with plenty of time before I remove them. I’m also considering putting them back on FanFiction now that I’m not going to be actively updating, because it’ll reach a wider audience there and since they’ve been down for two years, there’s probably a whole new slew of readers who haven’t read it yet. But we’ll see.

The good news is, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll still be active on Facebook and Twitter and I plan on keeping you updated with where I’m at on getting Shades of Fifty done. And since you all have been such a huge part of how this story came to be, I’d really like to keep you all involved as much as possible. Characters have to be renamed and re-imagined, I’d love your input. I’m probably going to make some kind of pen name, but I have no idea where to start with that. I’d love suggestions! I’m also in desperate need of Beta readers. If you’re interested in taking part of that at all, please let me know in the comments section.

So, obviously, this isn’t good-bye. Just… an extended break (from posting). My goal is to have a new original to present to you all by the end of the year. I’m excited, I hope you are too!!

And even though his name will change, I’ll always be wishingmrgreywashere.

Lots of love,

Tara xx

Edit: I know everyone wants the HEA, so should I post an epilogue to follow Stronger?



104 thoughts on “New Year

  1. Thanks for all that you have given us over the years. Whatever you decides we will go with. You have always cared so much about your readers. So knowing you we all know that you will do what best for us (readers). Thank You so much for providing us with your talent over the years.


  2. Hi, Tara.

    Well, here I am again. After a whole day thinking what I wanted to tell you, I finally found the words I was looking for.

    But FIRST of all I want to ask you something I’m not sure about … you said you wanted to rewrite Final, but do you mean you want to do it when you turn the series into an original or want to focus first on that and then, with the Fifty Shades characters, will you write again Final the way you want to?

    And another thing, the last one I promise, if you write an epilogue, you will do it as if Final had not been published? It is to know how to locate myself temporarily.

    That is what I doubt.

    And now with more important issues.

    I have to admit that since I read your post I felt disappointed and very sad to know that this is over, because like when you read the final chapter of a book or you know that a series ends, that final chapter becomes bitter, despite being good or bad.
    After reading Stronger I had that same feeling. And then you raised up my mood by announcing that you would continue to write more about Christian and Ana. I assumed that you would finish the whole book, which caused me now to be a little dazed when suddenly that expectation was shattered.

    Now, feelings aside and being objetive, the first person who has to be happy with what you write is YOU, and if for some reason you are not, continuing simply by obligation would make the story fall or make you lose the desire to keep writing.

    So I really appreciate that you were faithful to that gift that you have as a writer and that you did not write something that you would not be proud of.

    I algo support you on your decision to create an original with Shades of Fifty, but I have to be honest: I don’t think I could read it and like it, because I have so internalized the story and your characters that I don’t believe I could see it out there, as I suppose the fans of Master of the Universe felt at the time. But either way, be sure that I’ll do my best to try to read and love them.

    However, I find it impressive that you managed to make a story of yours starting with something already created, but that you have made it incomparable with the story of EL James -in the positive way- if you allow me to say so.

    So as an author, you will always have my support, because few people today have managed to create me such excitement to read something new as you have done, and I want to follow you in your professional career because I know you will get far. Mark my words because that is how it will be.
    But as I said, I do not think I can enjoy Shades of Fifty as an original, but I would like to be able to participate in some way, like beta or whatever, in the new stage, because I already enjoyed the story in its day and I would like to to be in some way in the process of creating history for new people to enjoy. I don’t know, it’s a way to keep living through it (between you and me, I think all this sadness and unexplained feelings of disappointment is really that I’m not ready to let go of the story. In my personal field, lately, I feel that everything and everyone ends leaving, and the fact that the story feels like is also disappearing – although I know it is not like that – makes me feel so sad I can’t even explain).

    You know what? You should be proud that you can turn us -or at least me- into a sobbing mess because we’ll miss so much your updates. That say something really good about you and your talent.

    In any case… I need to thank you, Tara. Thank you for trying to give your best and not fail, even when life tried to get in the way. Thank you for making Mondays less Mondays all these years and making me enjoy as a child.

    I’m trying to see it as a ‘we’ll start something new and different but not erase everything’.

    With all the affection of the world,
    Andie x

    Ps: I would like to ask you to provide a PDF copy of Final, because there you created a very nice version of Daddy Christian and an adorable Calliope, which I would like to be able to keep remembering at some point. But the decision, obviously, is yours, and I emphasize it because I do not want you to feel that as readers we impose the right to decide.


    1. I know, it’s the worst that it’s stopping, and I tried so hard to just finish it, but it’s been a struggle for the entire time I’ve been writing it and I think that’s come through in the disjointed plot and lack of vision. I really, really tried to finish it because I hate that I’m leaving it the way that it is. My BFF was actually shocked when I told her I decided to just stop, because she’s been doing this with me since Different and she knew how dedicated I was, but even she had to admit that Final was just not the same for me. So, I’m sorry that I’m stopping. It really actually guts me to the core.

      As far as the epilogue goes, I’m moving on as if Final never existed, however the Epilogue takes place in the future and whether or not you consider Final, the epilogue will make sense. (If you consider the story done at the end of Stronger, or whether you consider Final won’t matter for the epilogue.)

      And I won’t be finishing Final as a part of Christian and Ana’s story. I have hopes to continue with the 2nd idea I had in an original story, but we’ll see when I get there. I hope I can change your mind about not loving the reimagined story by adding enough fresh content that it will feel like a different story to you. And yes, if you’d like to beta for me, I’d appreciate it! 🙂

      Thank you for all your support! I know, I’m letting you down. And I’m so sorry. But I think this is my only way forward from here. Lots of love!


  3. I love your writing and I am super excited to see what you have in store when you turn these into originals. I would love a pdf copy and would love to read an epilogue.


  4. I absolutely love this story. i stumbled upon the whole series rather randomly, and i’ve loved reading it, i’ve been putting off finishing stronger in the hopes that when i was ready to sit down and commit to read it final would be finished. But i respect your decision to create an original. if that’s what you decide to do i would love, a pdf copy. thank you so much for sharing and creating this story for us and i can’t wait to read your original and one day hopefully soon, see it flourish into its own movie franchise too. haha, thank you thank you a million, i could never express my gratitude to you.


  5. I’m sorry to hear that, sad news but I’m also excited for your new plans. I live in a small island in Greece and sadly there is not much to do here so reading your stories was my escape.
    I would love to have a pdf of your amazing work and yes to leave Different, Broken, Stronger online.
    Thank you for your time you put in to these stories for us. I truly wish you good luck.


  6. It was so sad to hear. I cried. I really looked forward to Monday mornings with Christian and Ana. I could tell along the way that “Final” was not what you wanted. I’m glad you are going to ke
    ep the other books posted because I have read them more than once. Your fans have been so fortunate to have had this wonderful writing to enjoy.
    I have commented before how your character development is amazing . I felt out of all the fan fiction stories that I have read, your character of Kate was the friend that Ana would’ve had. At the other story had her be a bitch. Luke and Ana’s relationship was fun, light hearted and warm and fuzzy. I sometime wished Taylor had a bigger relationship with Christian. Elliott was the brother everyone wanted.
    Thanks again for all the time you have given us. You will be greatly missed.


  7. Coming to terms with your update message, feeling a little anxious and sad. Couldn’t you just write chapters of mush between Christian and Ana. I’ve been hanging out for a HEA between the two. I wish you wouldn’t remove what is written as you have no idea how many times I just reread all of your stories, even this, non completed. I love to just be able to do that when I feel the urge. I don’t do twitter and Facebook, so this format suits me. Love your writing and will keep an eye out for anything you compose, however I am obsessed with C and A, my problem I GUESS


  8. Now there’s nothing to look forward to on Mondays! I’ve loved all three books, but I could tell “Final” wasn’t going well for you. Writing a serialized story like yours for over three years is really a feat to be applauded. I remember the first version you had and took down (I don’t remember the title), and you have improved so much since then I know whatever you write will be a success.

    I would love to have a pdf of “Final” as it is now and of the Epilogue. Thank you for so many hours of pleasure reading your books, and I wish you a continuing devoted fan base and much future $ucce$$ with your writing.

    Best wishes, and I’ll be watching for your return.


  9. Im so sad to see this story just end, I was hooeing maybe you would end up just doing on final chaper wrapping everything up, but i completely understand & respect your decision as the author to stop this amazing story. I do ask if you woild please do the pdf file for thise of us that would still like to read this story after its pulled even if not finished.
    Thank you for sharing this story & you with us for all this time & if you ever decided to come back & finish it just know your faithful readers will be her waiting.


  10. Welcome. So sadly for this, but I am happy if they just have they HEA. So, just do PDF of the stories just for us. I like to reading the store again and again.

    Waiting for your new ideas.


    El lun., 14 de ene. de 2019 11:31 AM, wishingmrgreywashere escribió:

    > wishingmrgreywashere posted: ” Good morning everyone! I’m going to start > off this Monday with some bad news. The Final Shade of Fifty is going to be > on hold, indefinitely. Here’s where I’m at. I started this story with one > idea, and realized about half-way through that I wanted to” >


  11. Wow. That post was kind of heartbreaking. Although I haven’t been the best at reviewing, this story has been a part of my life for years and it’s kind of crazy to think that it’s over 😦
    Kind of breaks my heart a little.
    I know it’s not completely done. But I kind of wished we had that “perfect” end where everything tied into a little bow and Ana and Christian are living in this fantasy world of joy and having a HEA…
    BUT this is your story and I respect the fact that this is your vision ad you aren’t feeling it right now. I’m very curious about the storyline you completely wanted to change and where you wanted to take the story…?
    But personally, I would love to have a pdf just for my own love story with these characters.
    As for Beta readers. I am not entirely sure what that would entail, but I love to read, make edits, have lots of opinions, and free time. So if you need Beta readers and can explain to me what that is, then I’d definitely be interested 🙂
    Thanks so much for being an amazing author and sharing all your fantastic stories! I can’t wait to read more of your writing!
    And I have loved our chats over the years! 🙂
    Old Soul in Wonderland


  12. I am really sad to hear this. I always looked forward to Mondays. I don’t think they will ever be the same again. 😀
    I do wish you well and can not wait to read your original story. You have true talent and will succeed in any story you write!


  13. I am sad after reading this. But I understand and I will continue to read anything you post and this Christian and Ana will hold a special place in my heart! Looking forward to whatever you decide to post this year!


  14. I love your writing style and your stories. I would love to help be a beta if you are still looking for help. Can’t wait to see what you do when you make this story all yours.


  15. I’m sorry this is coming to an end, but only because I love this story it’s my all time favorite. I love your writing and will continue to support you! I would love a pdf with the epilogue and enjoy it being back on fanfiction. This is a story I can reread over again and will buy the new version. Thank you for your writing!!!


  16. To my fav author, my inspiration, my “kick in the butt to read again”, and- my reason that I put up with Mondays,

    I am so sorry to hear this, and – I have tried to sit and write something meaningful to you since you posted your fireside chat last week, but, like now, tears jack me up to the point that I have trouble seeing the screen. YES- even with my bifocals on.

    Tears, like a little kid. But I was always the one who was in a funk for weeks when their favorite TV show ended. Or was depressed to tears when after weeks and months of anticipation- the vacation was over and real life was back at hand. I’m the one who hates getting real close to something, and then have it go away.

    I find myself there again gutted. I found a story to escape to and get lost in, and now I’ve lost that too. So, I will revert momentarily to the Aquarius in me, the snarky law enforcement side of me, the hard ass that stands out in front, (to hide the marsh mellow within).

    I HATE that I know a part of the underlying cause of this. I hate that you were and are so involved with your readers that when some of them couldn’t bend and allow you to evolve YOUR Christian and Ana the way you wanted to in YOUR story line you started to doubt yourself. You wanted to bring this couple full circle and have Christian love Ana back to her true state of strength…but to do that you were going to have to put them through hell. Yes, it was going to seem out of character for them at times, it was going to seem like they were falling apart, because they were. In the end, readers needed to have faith that as the author of this story, three books of this story, that you would not fail anyone in the telling of the fourth. I want to scream at the readers who just could not understand that what Christian and Ana went through in book three was horrific, but as the author of this series you understood it. You wanted to give us, the readers an incredibly strong finish of these two building each other up, making each other whole.

    You were right.

    And, IMO, you weren’t allowed to tell or finish your story. The way you, the author, had intended. The protective side of me wants to hug you and tell you that they, the complainers were wrong. That no one should make you feel like you have to change course in a story after 20 chapters because they just can’t see someone acting a certain way. Sweet Jesus, ITS NOT THIER STORY TO TELL. And I am pathetic to feel cheated, to feel sad, when I know that when an author/person pulls up and stops doing something that they have such a passion, such a talent, such a love for because they don’t feel the readership will go for it….then it was them that was cheated.

    I wish I had a magic wand, hell don’t we all wish we had that at one time or the other?? I wish that in a better world I could have read the Final Shade as you truly intended it to be. The author’s true intent and final happy ever after that she wanted her characters to have. In each way all these people commenting are really coming to grips with the fact that you crafted the story in such a way that regardless of roughness of the ride, we wanted to go on it with you.

    For the record I would have read 200 chapters of the Final Shade.

    Now, you can tell me that I am far off the mark, and that you have a variety of reasons and so on. You can tell me that I’m getting too excited over this, and that it’s all good in the end. But for this tiny moment, it’s my way of getting over the fact that Monday’s will once again. Suck. 🙂 You will just have to allow me this small moment of anger that I will not see the ending of this book.

    Of for crap’s sake, I have to get a tissue to finish this. However, it is important that I tell you that there was a reason for addressing you as an ‘inspiration’. I have ventured back into writing because of you. I have found my muse in writing a dab of fanfiction and enjoyed the heck outta it. That is because of you. I find that it makes my heart happy to give voice to a story- and in doing so I realize the true love that YOU must have for your writing. For your characters and their strengths and their flaws and their unending faith in their partners and their loves. To give voice and heart to a story is to give a part of yourself to the paper/keyboard/screen as you write or type the imagination into something readers can feel and live through. The love and passion to carry the story on through three books and months that have turned into years, is a testament to you as an Author.

    It’s a beautiful gift that you have given us in this story Tara. The gift of young love finding it’s way in a dorm room in Harvard, in a snowy Vermont cabin, on a ski slope, on a yacht, on a beach, in Vegas, in Seattle, in your telling of ‘Shades’, in your way. In your voice.

    I would like to stay on that gift list my friend. I would love to follow you as a reader and a fan of your writing. So, wherever your writing begins next, I would like to be there at the end of the last chapter of it with you.

    I see that you have many offers as a beta. I add my offer- just know that you get me with all my bluntness and loyalty to a fault ways.

    A.J. Mackey

    One P.S. is needed, a thank you actually

    I am really glad that the last picture painted for us in the fourth book was that of Christian, Ana and Callie standing looking out on the ocean at the dolphins. Beautiful.

    Yes- I would love a PDF of that fourth book.


    1. You’re going to make ME cry 😦

      I know you and I talked long and hard about how this was intended to go, so I’m sorry it’s cut short for you. The only solace I can give is that I am working on an epilogue 🙂

      And yes, I’ll probably hit you up for beta services 🙂


      1. I’m not crying, you are.

        Yeah, I am actually. That just begged to be wrote.

        I await your epilogue, and your writing to come. Can’t hardly wait.



  17. Wow, as a reader who started from a different shade of fifty on fan and watched all your YouTube videos, it been a long and amazing time. I want to tell you that I have absolutely loved your stories and can’t wait for the story to converted to an original. I think after all this time you definiently deserve a pay check! And I can’t wait to support you in your next endeavours.


  18. Hi wishingmrgreywashere,
    I’m a reader who had started reading A Different Shade Of Fifty on and I honestly fell in love with these reimagined characters. Reading your post broke my heart a little, but I completely understand the feeling of not being connected to a story. I, myself, have written my own stories on Wattpad before which I had lost my touch with, so I decided to take them down. I felt bad about letting my readers down, but it was a very liberating decision. At the end of the day, your happiness is the most important thing, so if this is what you need to do in order to move forward with your writing, go for it! I wish you the best of luck and will be awaiting your return! 🙂


    P.S. I’d love a PDF copy of The Final Shade Of Fifty as it is and would really enjoy an epilogue, too. I’m also looking forward to your original story. I’ll keep an eye out for it! 😀


  19. Just got on to reread your Shades of Fifty series and read your post that you are discontinuing Final Shade, but THANKFULLY you will be doing an epilogue (or what about a short series of them, say at 5 years, 10 years after). Love the idea as you can then get to where you want to end it (with their HEA), without having to invest another couple years of your valuable time getting there, when your heart and your muse is on your own original stories (which your faithful readers are all looking forward to reading as well).

    LOVED LOVED LOVED the first three books, your writing style, how you took the original characters at a different point in their lives and developed a completely different, well thought out, heart wrenching plot line than the EL James books. Had difficulty with parts of Final [Ana being so traumatized, as well as the total break in Christian’s relationship with Carrick] Totally understand that you are no longer invested in it. You are a fabulous writer, so you absolutely could weave the story line around to get resolution to all the existing problems, but the time yo would have to invest to do so when your heart is really on another project… I get it. Thank you for letting your readers know your plans so we were not left hanging..

    Would love a PDF of 1,2,3 and 4. TOTALLY looking forward to reading your forthcoming original work based on Shades, or anything else you have written. in the meantime, do you have any other stories online that we can read besides Shades of Fifty?

    all my best, vh


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