I’m still distracted by thoughts of Christian’s kiss as I try and get ready for my night out with Ros and Kate and so every menial task takes me forever. After I finally get out of the shower and finish my hair and makeup, I find myself staring at the clothes hanging in my closet, only half-heartedly sorting through everything in here since I know I didn’t bring any clothes back from Cambridge that I would consider suitable for a nightclub. Knowing Kate, she’s going to go all out tonight and the plethora of business attire dresses, skirts and blouses in front of me are not going to live up to the standard she’s going to set.
Maybe I should have asked her to bring me something or maybe I should have added dress shopping to my list of errands this morning. I smile at the thought of Christian walking irritably through a department store with me while I searched through the different racks of sequin covered dresses and then pacing back and forth outside the dressing room while I try on my finds, or maybe even coming back and helping me with the zipper and then…
I shake my head to bring myself out of the ensuing fantasy and then sigh and take out a simple black dress. The hem is a little longer and the neckline a little higher than something I would have chosen for a night out on the town, but I’m hoping the black pumps, sleek hair and winged eye liner will up the bombshell factor enough that no one will notice this dress is more suitable for a boardroom than a nightclub.
Once I’m finished checking my make up one last time, I slip the money I’d taken out at the ATM this morning for cab fare into my bra and then put the rest of the cash I have for the night into a small silver clutch. I learned a harsh lesson on one of my very first bar hopping adventures with Kate about keeping cab money separate from drinking money. Last year, Kate and I had a little too much fun at the bars in downtown Cambridge, but when everything closed down, we both discovered we were out of cash and ended up having to walk two and a half miles home in stilettos. It was a consequence I had to live with for weeks as the blisters healed and it’s not a mistake I plan to make again. Especially since I don’t really think Christian would be too happy about the ugg boots I’d have to wear in the office while I recovered.
It’s dark out by the time I’m ready to leave and I feel rushed as I throw the last of my things in my clutch before heading out the door. I make my way down to the lobby and then out to the street to hail down a cab. I’m meeting Kate and Ros at a sushi restaurant called Gaba Sushi, which is located in the heart of Pioneer Square. Since I’m supposed to be at the restaurant at 8:30, but I don’t make it out of my apartment until 8:25, I’m the last to arrive. The hostess leads me back to a table where I see Kate, Ros and a pretty blonde woman who I assume must be Ros’s girlfriend, Gwen. They’ve already got a round of drinks in front of them.
“Ana!” Kate says excitedly when I get to the table. “You look hot!”
“Thanks, Kate. I’m sorry I’m late. I’ve had a… weird day,” I tell her, glancing quickly at her outfit. I was right to think she’d be dressed to the nines tonight. She’s wearing a low cut dress that is so shimmery it almost looks as though it’s made of liquid and her platinum hair is pulled back into a high ponytail, hanging long and stick straight down her back.
“Don’t worry about it. We ordered you a drink,” Kate says, and I look down at the tangerine colored cocktail in front of the empty seat.
“Ana, this is Gwen,” Ros says as I take a seat and take a sip of the cocktail, which tastes of champagne, citrus, and some kind of sweet, tangy syrup. I reach out to shake Gwen’s hand but she gets out of her seat and yanks me up into a hug.
“Hi, Gwen,” I say with a surprised laugh as she releases me and returns to her seat.
“Sorry, I’ve just heard so much about you, I feel like I know you. Ros told me that you used to date Christian and I have so many questions for you.”
“Oh… we never measured it,” I reply, deadpan, as I take another sip of my drink, and although Kate snorts into her own drink next to me, Gwen looks at me confused for a minute before she gets the joke and laughs again.
“Oh, I like her,” She says turning to Ros, but Ros just takes a deep breath and shakes her head.
“I’d actually prefer it if we could get through the night without talking about Christian Grey’s penis, ladies,” She says, but Kate begins shaking her head.
“I don’t know if I can agree to that,” She says. “You see, I went over to the Greys’ this morning to have breakfast with Elliot, and Grace told me that somebody was over at Christian’s apartment awfully late last night.”
I flush, though not because of anything that happened last night, and Ros turns a hard look on me.
“You two aren’t back together are you?” She asks.
“Really?” She presses me.
“No, Ros! We’re not back together.”
“Good,” She says with a nod. “Because GEH has a very strict fraternization policy. You’re his direct subordinate, Ana. He could face sexual harassment allegations and you could be forced out. It’s a PR nightmare waiting to happen and we’re on the verge of something big that GEH can’t risk losing because you two can’t keep your hands off each other. Frankly, I was a little concerned when he told me he was hiring you just because of your history, but because I know that you’re qualified for what he has planned for you, I let it go. You need to be careful though.”
“The only reason anything would happen to either of them would be if Ana reported him,” Kate argues but Ros shakes her head.
“If anybody reports it,” Ros says, shaking her head. “And his little doe eyed receptionist watches him like a hawk. Look, in the end, I’m rooting for you guys, Ana. Christian is one of my best friends in the entire world and he was never happier than when he was with you, but if you’re thinking about getting back together with him, I think you should wait until the end of the summer.”
“We’re not together. I was just there last night as a friend. We’re just friends,” I tell her, and even though it’s technically the truth, the words taste like a lie as they roll off my tongue. Probably because I know where we’re headed and that we’re already planning to spend an entire day alone together in his apartment tomorrow. Could I resist him again, like I did this afternoon? The thought leaves a sour taste in my mouth as I realize that, I could… but I don’t want to.
“Good,” Ros says.
“Hmm…” Kate frowns. “Elliot was so excited when Grace told him. He was going on and on all day about how you two would be back together by Christian’s birthday next month. He’s going to be so disappointed.”
“Well, you can apologize to him for me. I do have some news for you though,” I tell her, and she looks back at me, her interest peaked. “I made up with Luke. He came over last night and we vegged out on the couch and watched It Happened One Night.“
“Oh my god, Ana. How many times are you going to torture him with that movie?”
“Literally as many times as I can get away with it,” I reply, and we both laugh.
We put in our order for sushi and seaweed salads and spend the next hour or so laughing over great food and strong cocktails. Once we’re finished, Kate insists we have to stop in one of the bars on the way since she doesn’t want to get to the nightclub before 10:30, but she also doesn’t want to stop drinking. When we do finally make it to Trinity, I’m already starting to feel the effects of the alcohol I’ve consumed up to this point, and as we stand in the line waiting to get in, I have trouble keeping up with the bubbly conversation between Ros, Gwen and Kate, though I think that’s more because my mind keeps wandering back to Christian and the way he felt against me this afternoon.
I wonder what he’s doing right now?
I pull out my phone to send him a quick text to find out, but before I can finishing typing, Kate grabs onto my arm and pulls me forward. We’re being ushered to the front of the line and into the club by the bouncer.
“Thank god for Kate’s boobs,” Ros laughs as we head past the line of people shooting us irritated glances and through the door to the club.
“And Ana’s ass,” Kate adds, slapping my behind. I squeal and then turn an indignant look back at her but the innocent pouty face she gives me just makes me laugh.
Trinity is loud, and packed full of people. I hold tightly to Kate’s hand as we weave our way through the crowd bouncing up and down to the heavy bass sounds booming out of the speakers next to the DJ. The bar is crowded, dozens of people standing around trying to get the bartender’s attention, but all Kate has to do is lean slightly over the wood counter top and flash the bartender a dazzling smile for our drinks to start being poured.
The bartender lines up shots of tequila and four peach colored cocktails for us and we lift the shots into the air, clinking them together, and then slam them down. The tequila goes down like fire, making me grimace, and I take a quick sip of my cocktail to chase it down. Mmm, Sex on the Beach.
We head back out to find a table we can all stand around and once we’re able to set down our bags and drinks, we begin to dance to the thumping music. I feel Kate’s arms snake around me and I grab onto her, moving my body in time with hers as we lose ourselves in the music and the flashing colored lights.
The night passes in a blur, though I don’t know if that’s because of the rounds of tequila shots Ros and Gwen keep buying or the dancing with Kate but it feels like hardly any time has passed at all before I feel my energy rapidly declining.
“Another round, ladies?” Gwen says, returning from the bar with four drinks in her hands.
“One more, but this is it for me,” I tell her, as she hands me the murky, golden cocktail.
“Oh, come on, Ana!” Kate complains. “It’s barely past 12:30. The club doesn’t close for two more hours! Stay with us one more hour at least!”
“I can’t,” I tell her, trying to cover a yawn and she pouts.
“One more song then?” She asks as I finish my drink.
“Okay,” I relent, and she smiles and pulls me out onto the dance floor. I pose with her as she takes pictures of the two of us dancing with her phone and once the song ends, she takes me out the front doors to the line of cabs waiting to pick up the people drunkenly stumbling out of the club.
“Brunch tomorrow?” She asks me as I slide into the back seat of the taxi closest to me.
“I don’t know. I had a lot of tequila, and I don’t have your superhero level ability to recover,” I say with a small laugh. “I’m probably going to be wrecked but call me in the morning and I’ll let you know.”
“Alright, drink some water,” She tells me, and I roll my eyes and close the door to the cab.
When I get to Escala, I pull the money out of my bra to pay the driver and then hurry through the main doors of the lobby, which I have to open with the special resident’s code. As I stumble my way out of the elevator onto my floor, I discover that I’m actually drunker than I thought I was. It’s hard to navigate the narrow hallway in these shoes and I have to hold my hand against the wall to keep myself steady. Unfortunately, when I get to the door of my apartment, I have a horrible, gut wrenching realization.
I don’t have my purse.
And without my purse, I don’t have my phone, my keys… I don’t have anything. I’m locked out and I can’t even call Kate to see if I left my purse at the bar or ask her if she’ll grab it for me. Shit, what if I left it in the cab? I groan and rest my head against the door, trying to figure out what I’m going to do. I can’t even go down to the service desk because the apartment is in Christian’s name and all of my service requests have to go through him…
Wait, Christian! He owns the apartment, he probably has a key. Crap, I wish I had my phone so that I could see what time it was. I’m pretty sure that it has to be after one o’clock in the morning by now, so he’s probably asleep. He does have that nice new couch… I wonder if he’d be okay with me sleeping there until he got up to let me into my apartment? I’m sure he would…
I decide at this point, it’s my best bet, so I slip off my shoes and carefully make my way back to the elevator. My head is swimming slightly and I have to input the code to Christian’s penthouse three times before I get it right, but eventually I do and when the elevator begins to move, I hold myself up against the railing, concentrating on my breathing as I make my way up to the 31st floor.
When the doors open, I notice that the apartment is dark, but to my surprise, it isn’t quiet. The soft, lyrical tones of the piano drift through the foyer and I follow the sound into the living room where I find Christian sitting at the piano, his silhouette illuminated only by the lights of the city shining in through the window behind him. I can vaguely recognize the melody of whatever he is playing but it’s hard to concentrate on the music once I realize that he’s sitting before me in nothing but a pair of pajama bottoms, the light from the window highlighting the contours of the well-defined muscles in his chest and arms.
Oh, he looks…
I stand there, frozen, marveling at him. The tendons become more pronounced in his forearms with each stroke of his long fingers over the keys and it brings back memories, all too clear in this moment, of those same fingers working their magic on me. Heat flushes over me and as I stand there, once again feeling myself being wholly consumed by my desire for this beautiful man, my grip on my shoes relaxes and they tumble noisily onto the floor.
Christian jumps slightly at the unexpected sound and turns to look at me.
“Ana?” He asks, clearly surprised to see me here. I swallow, hoping to force down the licentious feelings, which are unfortunately currently being fueled by alcohol and are much, much more poignant than usual.
“Hi. I’m um… I’m locked out of my apartment.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think I left my purse at the club. My phone and my keys were in it.”
“I could have Taylor go down and look for it, if you want,” He offers.
“No, it’s late. I don’t want you to wake him. I’m sure Kate will grab it. I just thought that maybe you’d have a key.”
“I do. I’ll… get it for you.”
“Thank you,” I tell him. He nods as he gets up from the piano and I inhale sharply when he turns towards me and I get the full view of his chest, his abs, the intriguing line between his hip bones that disappears into his pants…
The way his muscles move beneath his skin is so graceful, it’s nearly hypnotic. I feel like I physically can’t take my eyes off of him as I follow him through the living room and kitchen to the utility room, and when he opens the small door to the metal box on the wall, which is full of ten or so different keys, I feel the last of my restraint fade away.
I want him and I want him now.
“Here,” He says, holding the key out for me. I glance down at it for a second and then push past his outstretched hand and press myself against him. My fingers reach into his hair and I pull him down to me so that my lips can reach his.
“Ana…” He says, pulling away from me hesitantly and I look up at him, shocked, as he continues.”You’re drunk. I can’t…”
“I’m fine, Christian. Really.”
“No, you’re not.”
“Christian, I promise you. I want this. I’ve wanted this all day, since you kissed me in my apartment. This has nothing to do with the alcohol. I want you.”
I can see the conflict behind his eyes so I lean forward to kiss him again and this time, he doesn’t back away. He’s still reluctant though so I twist my fingers into his hair again, pulling gently as I brush my tongue against his bottom lip. He groans as his restraint begins to fade away and I hear the high clinking sound of the key he was holding hitting the stone tile floor as his arms wrap around me.
He pushes me backwards into the wall before deepening our kiss. As he’s holding me in his arms, pinning me to the wall with his body so that I can feel the heat radiating off his skin, it feels as though time stops and we’re just hands and tongues and burning, blistering need. There is a sense of urgency in his kiss and I eagerly return his fervor. The desperate need for the release of two years of withdrawal consumes both of us as we pour our yearning into each other. His teeth sink briefly into my bottom lip, tugging it gently for a moment, before he dives back into our kiss again.
I devour him greedily. My breathing is harsh and ragged as I arch my back so that as much of my body is pushed into him as possible. Through the thin fabric of my dress, my breasts press against his naked chest and he growls a deep, needy sound that ignites the lust in me like a fuse held to an open flame. I can feel his fingers gripping hungrily into my dress and in that moment, I want nothing more than for him to rip through the fragile chiffon and take me, right here, right now… on the floor.
“Take me to bed, Christian.” I plead when I’m finally able to pull my lips away from his. He looks down at me for a moment, the desire burning brightly in his eyes.
“Are you sure?” He asks.
“Yes, yes I’m sure,” I reassure him. “I want you, I need you. Please.”
“I don’t have any condoms…”
“That’s okay, I’m on the pill.”
He looks at me with a pained expression for a moment but eventually, the intensity of the pull between us that has been so present over the past week finally wins out and, moving so fast that he leaves me slightly disoriented, he reaches down and scoops me in his arms. We move quickly through the apartment and he holds me against him so that I can feel his heart racing in his chest. I reach out to tilt his head back to mine so that I can continue to kiss him as he takes me back to a part of his apartment I’ve never been before. I can hear him fumble blindly with the handle on his bedroom door and then he steps into the room and lays me down on his bed.
“You’re sure?” He asks again and I nod and then climb up onto my knees so that I can reach up to kiss him again. He takes my face in his hands, holding me to him while he kisses me greedily, and then his hands travel to the zipper on the back of my dress and he eases it down. A shiver runs over me as he lightly drags his finger up my now naked back and then brushes his hands over the fabric on my shoulders, pulling my dress down to my waist. His lips break apart from mine then, and he begins to leave a trail of kisses down the line of my throat to my collar bones. My breasts shift as his fingers move deftly to the clasp on my bra, unhooking it, and then he drags it off of me.
Once my breasts are exposed, he leans back to stare at me for a moment, his thumb brushing lightly over my nipple.
“Oh, baby,” He whispers with veneration, and then he kisses me again, pushing me backwards onto the bed, his naked chest pressed firmly against mine. He cradles my face again with his left hand as he shifts his body slightly so that he can pull the dress the rest of the way off of me with the right, and once he does, his free hand moves up my side and begins to massage my breast. I moan, and tilt my hips up towards him, my need for him spiraling out of control.
He begins to roll my nipple between his finger and his thumb and once it’s elongated and over sensitized, he increases the pressure between his fingers and pulls ever so slightly. I gasp and his teeth capture my bottom lip once more.
“Christian!” I cry out, and he groans a low appreciative sound.
“Tell me what you want, Anastasia,” He says. “I want to hear you say it.”
“I want you. Please, Christian,” I reply, my words a broken plea.
“Oh, Ana,” He moans, and he kisses me once more before pulling away to stand next to the bed. My impatient gaze follows him as he hooks his fingers beneath the band of his pajama bottoms and he slowly inches them down until he’s standing before me, naked and absolutely glorious. I lean forward, wanting to taste him, to feel his erection in my mouth, but he grasps my shoulders and pushes me back down on the bed, and climbs back over the top of me again.
“No, Ana,” He whispers. “I don’t want your mouth right now. I want to be inside of you, and I can’t wait any longer.”
My breath hisses between my teeth as I feel him hastily pull my panties off of me and then his erection brushes against my entrance. I can see the libidinous hunger in his eyes, but… again, there is hesitation too.
“Ask me again,” He says, imploring me rather than commanding.
“Fuck me, Christian. I want you to make me come.”
“And you promise me that you’re not too drunk?”
“No. No, I want this,” I assure him and he swallows once, his eyes baring into mine as though he’s looking for any sign of doubt. “Please.” I whisper again.
He growls, leaning down and kissing me once more. His lips are almost painfully urgent against mine as he reaches down, positions his erection at my entrance and in one, quick movement thrusts inside of me.
I cry out, my body tightening and clenching around him as I attempt to adjust to him inside of me. It’s painful, more so than I would have imagined, but also deeply, viscerally satisfying. I clench my jaw together, waiting for the pain to subside and he freezes, looking down at me with concern.
“Nothing,” I say in a tight voice. “Nothing, I’m fine. Just give me a second. I forgot how big you are.”
“Oh baby, that’s because I don’t think I’ve ever been this fucking hard,” He whispers, flexing his hips upward, though not enough to cause me any pain. I reach up and claim his lips once more, my tongue entangled with his. Our breathing comes in harsh, broken staccatos and moans as he starts moving slowly in and out of me, and after a minute or so, I begin to adjust to his size and each moment of him inside of me starts to give me a jolt of resounding pleasure rather than acute pangs of pain. I tilt my pelvis up to him, encouraging him to really move, but he doesn’t. Instead, when I begin to squirm beneath him, he inhales sharply and reaches down to hold my hips still.
“Don’t move,” He tells me and I moan defiantly.
“I’m okay now,” I tell him but he doesn’t move his hands.
“Please, Ana. Don’t move,” He says, and I look up at him, confused.
“It’s been… awhile,” He says through gritted teeth, “You’re going to make me come.”
I whimper, and he lets out a low, frustrated sound before pulling out of me and inching his way down my body. I look down at him in protest, but my complaint is cut off by the gasp he elicits when his mouth makes contact with my clitoris.
“Oh, god!” I breathe, collapsing back onto the bed and he moans into me. I feel his tongue swirl around me, his lips tease me, his teeth graze gently against me, and my legs begin to shake as I’m overwhelmed by the sensation. With agonizing slowness, he eases a finger into me, and then another, while he continues to worship me with his tongue.
“Anastasia, you taste so good,” He whispers in awe as he moves his fingers in and out of me, bringing me to close the the edge and holding me there, hanging somewhere between coherence and complete oblivion.
“Oh, Christian. You’re going to make me come,” I tell him, feeling heat spread through my body like a liquid flame flowing through my veins.
“Come on, baby. Give it to me,” He says, his fingers moving inside of me harder and faster than before. He traces firm, deliberate circles over my clitoris with his thumb and the quivering deep inside of me intensifies until I erupt, screaming his name.
“So beautiful,” I hear him whisper and then his mouth is on me again, his tongue dipping inside of me while I ride out my orgasm. When the crushing waves of pleasure finally come to an end, he leaves one last, tender kiss on me before slowly moving upward, his tongue easing its way up my body, over my stomach towards my breasts. He takes his time, exploring every inch of my skin, tasting me, relishing me. Dragging on the agony.
“Christian, I want you inside of me,” I plead and I feel him smile against my heated skin.
“All good things, Anastasia,” He says, nipping gently at my breast. He rolls his tongue around my nipple, and I writhe beneath him, relishing in what he’s doing to me but needing so much more. Eventually, he moves up to take my lips with his once more and I feel him reach down to position himself against me. He thrusts inside of me again and although I still feel a slight twinge of pain, it’s easier to accommodate him after my orgasm. He doesn’t stop this time to wait for me to adjust to him and I begin keening loudly as I start to lose myself in the harsh, punishing rhythm he sets.
“You feel so fucking good, Anastasia,” Christian says, grabbing my hips as he thrusts on and on, quickly bringing me right back to the brink. We’re lost in one another, so absorbed in the pleasure that I cannot fathom anything in the world outside of him. We’re perfect together, made for each other, and in this moment, I know there is no turning back, I’m not going to be able to let him go again. I’m in this with him, for better or for worse. The ease we have with one another, even after all of this time, proves to me that I am as much his now as I was before and surprisingly, that realization brings me solace rather than trepidation. He loves me and I love him and nothing else matters. We can deal with anything as long as we’re together. As long as we have this.
I gasp as Christian suddenly sits up and flips me onto my side. He kneels over my left leg and pulls my right leg up and around his waist and when he enters me again, it feels even deeper and he’s pushing right against that place inside of me that invigorates my entire body. His thrusts are so ruthless that I can feel myself being pushed further up the bed every time he slams into me, until eventually I’m pressed up against his headboard. I place my hands on the dark wood to push myself back down into him and meet him thrust for thrust. The room is filled with the blended sound of my cries and his groans, and soon I begin to feel heat blossoming inside of me again.
“Fuck. I’m getting close, baby,” Christian says, his voice raw and carnal.
“Me too,” I tell him.
“Then come for me,” He demands. “Come for me, Ana.”
His fingers fist into my hair, tiling my head upwards as he leans over my leg so that he can claim my lips again and the feel of his tongue moving perfectly in sync with mine in combination with his movements deep inside of me is enough to tip me over the edge and I let go.
“Yesssss!” He hisses as I clench around him with each pulsing wave of my orgasm, and the tension in his face is relieved instantly as he too finds release.
Once it’s over, he collapses onto the bed next to me, his body flushed against my back as we try and regain control of our breathing and I revel in the feel of his arms wound tightly around me. When our heart rates slow and our breathing no longer comes in harsh pants, he leans up and reaches over to turn my face back to him so he can kiss me again, though this time, there is no longer any sense of urgency. His kiss is soft, gentle and loving.
His hand cups the side of my face, holding me there while his tongue explores my mouth. I moan and lean into him, deepening the kiss, while the hand that is pinned beneath my arm closes around my breast. In this moment, nothing exists in my world but taste and touch and for the next several minutes, I’m content to do nothing more than lie here, kissing him, loving him, until I feel his erection begin to grow against my behind once more.
“Again?” He asks, pausing our kiss only long enough to speak.
“Yes,” I whisper in response and I feel him smile against my lips.
He reaches down and eases himself inside of me from behind, though this time, when he starts to move, his thrusts aren’t rough and fueled by his need for release. Instead, he’s slow and deliberate.
“Ah…” I gasp as I feel each and every tantalizing inch of him pushing deep inside of me. He moves his lips down to my shoulder while his hand continues to gently massage my breast in time with each purposeful thrust. I feel his tongue begin to move up my neck until he reaches my earlobe, which he tugs gently with his teeth, and I feel a small pang of disappointment that I’m facing away from him. I’d love to be able to trace my tongue along the defined lines of his hips or his chest. The way he moves inside of me, presses his lips into mine, stares deeply into my eyes… it’s so intimate. It feels as though he’s making love to me like it’s our very first time, or possibly, our last.
“Oh, Ana,” He whispers, almost reverentially, “I’ve missed this so much.”
“Me too. Oh god, Christian, you’re so good…”
He groans and his hand moves down from my hip to massage my clitoris. I feel the promising quiver begin to rise again with each pass of his fingers over me, with each long, exquisite stroke of his erection inside of me, and I know I’m not going to last much longer.
“Come with me, Christian,” I beg him.
“Already?” He asks, and when I nod, he exhales sharply and picks up his rhythm, rolling me a little more onto my stomach and pressing me into the mattress as he does. It’s so intense this way and I scream his name into his sheets as he dives into me again and again. I know that he has staff somewhere in this apartment and I don’t want them to hear me, so I turn so that I’m face down in the pillow, but once I do, Christian grips my arm and rolls me onto my back. The fire blazing behind his eyes has returned again as he stares down at me.
“Look at me, Ana,” He growls, “I want to see you when I make you come.”
I stare back at him, doing my best to stop the screams that seem determined to burst out of me in response to his grueling pace. It’s winding me tighter and tighter until I can’t hold off any longer and I explode. My orgasm hits me with astounding force, rocketing through me like I’ve been electrocuted and my body shudders beneath him.
“Fuck,” He hisses. His fingers dig into my hips, pulling me into him as, once again, he comes violently inside of me.
Every nerve in my body has been heightened and the sensation of his fingers against my skin is almost too intense now. My head is spinning as I come down and the alcohol begins weighing on me heavily as I begin to realize how tired I am.
Finally, Christian rolls over onto the bed next to me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against him again. I shift slightly, pressing as much of my body into him as possible and I feel my eyelids begin to droop. If I was tired when I left the club, I don’t know how to describe the exhaustion I feel now.
“That was…” He begins but his words are cut off my his labored breathing.
“Incredible,” I finish for him.
“More than that,” He says. “It was everything.”
“Mmm,” I moan appreciatively as I snuggle into him. He leans down and kisses my neck again before gently nuzzling my hair.
“You’re okay, right?” He asks. “You’re not going to regret this in the morning?”
“No,” I say, though my voice is so quiet and filled with my need for sleep, part of me wonders if he even heard my response.
“If you do… just, tell me. Please don’t leave me, Ana,” He says, and the plea in his voice is enough to bring me back from the edge of sleep.
I turn my head back to look at him and I can see the longing in his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, Christian.” I promise him and even though he leans down to kiss me again, there is no look of relief on his face.
“Do you want to go back to your own apartment? I can go get the key for you,” He says, and I bite down on my lip as I consider this.
The lines have been blurred now, I know that and I honestly don’t know anymore whether it is or isn’t a good idea for me to spend the night with him, but in this moment, I just feel… absolutely content and I don’t want to leave. So I don’t.
“No,” I tell him. “No, I don’t want to go back to my apartment. I want to sleep in your arms tonight. I want you to hold me, Christian.”
“I want that too,” He whispers, and a smile creeps across his lips. “Sleep, baby.”
I feel his lips press softly into my hair before he settles down to lie next to me. He tightens his arms around me as I begin to drift, and just before I’m completely lost to the word I hear his low whisper in the darkness.
“I love you, Anastasia,” He says, and then I slowly fade away into a deep, restful sleep.