Chapter 12


7 weeks later


I have her, beneath me. She’s pinned, her knees held apart by mine and her hands tied to the bed post. We’re fucking, hard. I dive into her again and again. Fuck, she feels good.

Ah!” she cries.

That’s it baby, feel me. I want to make her come. I want her to come so hard she loses herself, loses all coherency. I pound harder knowing her orgasm is coming.

Fuck, ah!” she cries again and I feel her insides start to quiver. Oh yes, baby. That’s it, give it to me.

Come for me Ana, I want to feel you come for me,” I command, and she screams my name as her orgasm rips through her. Jesus christ, I love feeling her squeeze around me as she succumbs to the ecstasy. I thrust so hard, part of my mind wonders if I’m going to bruise her pelvic bone. I don’t care, I detonate and pour myself into her.


Shit! I sit up in bed and throw the duvet back, feeling around the sheets. Oh thank fuck, I didn’t come. Since Ana’s been home, my nightmares have disappeared but they’ve been replaced by graphic, erotic dreams where I wake up a sticky fucking mess. It’s humiliating. The first time Ana had been understanding, the second time, she laughed at me for the entire morning. After that she didn’t laugh anymore.

“Jesus, Christian!” She yelled at me when I told her I needed to help her out of the bed so Mrs. Jones could change the sheets again. “If you want sex this badly, make love to me!”

She was frustrated, she still is. I haven’t touched her yet. She’s too fragile. I’m afraid I’ll break her. It’s been three weeks since she got home from the hospital and she’s doing much better. Her bruises have faded away and the scars from her surgery are no longer pink. Her ribs are still painful though and she’s having a difficult time walking with the pain in her barely healed ankle.

I move out of the bed, careful not to wake her, and head for the bathroom, grateful once again that my dreams remained dry. It’s not that I don’t want to make love to her. Fuck, I’d give anything to take her. It’s been four months now. Four fucking months since I’ve been inside my wife. It’s so fucking depressing. But she’s hurt. I don’t want to hurt her. I see her wince every time she moves, hear the gasp of pain escape her lips when she takes too deep of a breath. Rage starts to build in me again. It’s been seven weeks since I found Ana in that fish storage warehouse and neither the police, nor my team still hasn’t been able to track down, who I suspect is going to end up being John Lincoln. I’m considering approaching Elena, that bitch abetted whoever it is afterall, but I don’t want Ana to know I’ve seen her. I don’t want her to know what I almost did. What the fuck was I thinking? A wave of revulsion sweeps over me and I cringe.

I didn’t do it. I didn’t even touch her. I never really wanted it, it was all the grief driving me mad. I didn’t do it. I repeat the mantra as I stare disgustedly at myself in the mirror.

I take a shower and when I’m finished, I wrap a towel around myself and walk back into the bedroom.

“Jesus!” I yell, grasping the towel as I see Mrs. Jones sitting on the bed with Ana. She’s holding Teddy and she has her breast out, trying to coax him to latch. I look away as the sight of her breast brings back my erotic dream.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Grey. I think he was on a bottle too long. He not going to back to breast feeding.”

Ana stares down at our son, frustrated. “I’m not ready to give this up yet,” she says.

“Gail!” I interrupt, wondering why they both seem to be oblivious to the fact I’m standing here in a fucking towel.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Grey,” she says as she climbs off my bed. She turns back to Ana and reaches out for the baby. “I’ll give him a bottle.”

“Bring it up to me. I want to feed him,” she says.

“Yes, Mrs. Grey,” Gail replies and disappears from the room. I shake my head and pull a pair of boxer briefs out of my dresser and head into the closet. I’m dressed in a charcoal colored suit, a white shirt, and a blue silver tie when I return to the bedroom. Ana looks up at me and frowns.

“Where are you going?” she asks. She’s got a bottle in her hands and she’s feeding Teddy.

I sit on the edge of the bed and reach out to brush our son’s hair, smiling to have him back in his mother’s arms.

“I’ve got a deposition downtown. The Taiwan thing,” I say distractedly.

“It’s a Saturday,” Ana replies, her tone reflecting her displeasure.

“Which is why I’m extremely irritated to be leaving you, Mrs. Grey,” I say, leaning over to kiss her. She stops me by raising her hand in front of my face.

“I don’t want you to go,” she whispers. “I want you to stay home and make love to me.” My face falls and I run my hands through my hair while I try to form a response.

“Please, Christian,” she begs, her voice so soft its barely a whisper. I reach out and take the hand she holds up in front of my face and softly kiss each one of her fingertips.

“I’ve got to go, baby. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Her face falls as I climb out of the bed and close the bedroom door behind me.

The deposition takes longer than I thought and it pisses me off. The Taiwanese government is attempting to counter-sue us for breach of contract. There is a responsibility of title party provision in the protection of assets clause that mandates the Taiwan government not be responsible for damaged or lost property if my company had been careless in protecting our own assets. I’m here to make a court documented statement recounting all of GEH’s protection measures put in place in Taiwan. The whole process takes three fucking hours and when I get home, I need a glass of wine. Gail pours one for me and I drink it gratefully. I turn and see the nanny sitting on the couch with Teddy so I walk over to her and reach out for him.

“There he is,” I say as I scoop him into my arms, but as I do he begins to cry.

“What’s wrong with him?” I ask, my fierce gaze turning down to the nanny. He feels very warm and his face is flushed.

“I think he’s getting sick, Mr. Grey,” she says.

“Have you called a doctor?” I demand.

“No, its just a cold. He’ll be fine in a few days.”

“Are you a doctor?” I ask incredulously, my irritation growing.

“No, Mr. Grey.”

“You’re fired,” I snap and turn towards the kitchen. “Gail, will you take Teddy and put him down? And call my mother and have her come look at him.”

“Yes, Mr. Grey,” She says, taking him from me. I watch after them, wondering if I should go sit with my sick baby until my mother gets here. I will, but I need to go check on Ana first. Make sure she doesn’t need anything. I follow Gail up the stairs but turn into my own bedroom instead of the nursery. When I open the door, Ana isn’t there. I walk to Teddy’s bedroom.

“Gail, have you seen Ana?”

“She’s in her office, Mr. Grey.”

“What the fuck is she doing in there? Why is she out of bed?” I demand.

“I believe she’s working, sir,” Gail replies as she lays Teddy in his crib.

“Stay here with him until I get back,” I say and run back down the stairs to the back of the house where Ana’s office is.

“What are you doing in here?” I ask when I burst through the door.

“Come in, Mr. Grey,” she says flatly, not taking her eyes off the laptop in front of her. Her hair is piled on top of her head in a messy bun. She’s wearing one of my t-shirts and a pair of leggings.

“You need to be in bed.”

She looks up and smiles at me wickedly. “I’d be willing to let you take me to bed.”

“You need your rest.”

Her face crinkles and she looks back down at her computer. “Sorry, Mr. Grey. I simply have too much work to do.”

“For the love of god, Anastasia!” I yell in frustration, my hands combing through my hair.

“Is it because of what he did to me?” She asks suddenly. “Do you think I’m defiled now? He didn’t touch me, Christian, I swear! Not like that. I’m still yours. I’m still only yours!”

My heart stops and I look back at her, incredulity and pain color my face.

“No, Anastasia! God no! You’re not defiled, you’re perfect! I don’t care about that– No.. No, I do care… I want you, Anastasia. I want you so bad, I come all over myself when I fucking sleep next to you! Jesus!” I lean over her placing my hands on each one of the armrests of her chair. “I will never not want you. You are my everything. I’m just afraid, if I touch you, I’ll hurt you.”

She grabs my tie and pulls my mouth down to hers. Her fingers reach into my hair and hold me in place while her tongue explores my mouth. I groan as I allow myself to kiss her, really kiss her for the first time since she’s been home. My cock hardens as she deepens the kiss, taking me ruthlessly.

“Please,” She gasps when she pulls away and I can no longer resist her. She sees it in my eyes and she reaches for my belt. I grasp her hands, stopping her as I look down at her with blazing eyes.

“No,” I say. “Not here. I want you in my bed.” I reach down and scoop her up into my arms. She gasps with pain as I pull her close to me and I freeze, my resolve wavering.

“It’s fine,” she says. “I’m fine.” She pulls me into another deep kiss. I growl as I pull away from her and bound across the room, racing through the house and up the stairs as quickly as I can with her in my arms.

When I enter the bedroom, I lay her down on the bed. She’s already panting with desire. We waste no time pulling off our clothes. By the time I’m out of my jacket, shirt and tie, Anastasia is unclasping her bra. When I see her breasts break free, I lunge at them, taking one of her nipples into my mouth and rolling my tongue around it while my hand gently pinches and rolls the other one.

“Fuck, Christian,” she moans and her hands fly into my hair. I sink my teeth gently into her nipple and she cries out, the sound going straight to my aching cock. The strain against my pants is unbearable and I reach down to release my erection. Her hand flies out and grasps me and I feel my breath hitch in my throat. Fuck, I’m not going to last very long. I begin to pull her leggings off her, thankful she’s wearing something so easy for me to get into and in one swift motion, she’s naked. Yes, I have needed this. Just looking at my wife’s beautiful naked body is enough to unravel me but I can’t allow myself release. She needs to come first. She always comes first.

I reach out and my fingers find her clitoris and I being swirling them around. She gasps again at the delicious contact. Fuck, she’s so gloriously wet. I could take her now. I want to take her now. I dip my fingers into her, swirling them around. She squirms and I place my free hand on top of her to hold her down.

“Christian, please,” She begs. “Please, I need you inside of me.” I groan and take her nipple back into my mouth.

“Take me, Christian,” she says and I can wait no more. I shake the pants hanging around my knees to the floor and climb out of them. I tear off my shoes and socks and push Ana farther unto the bed and climb after her. Grasping myself, ready to plunge into her, I pause and look down into her lust filled blue eyes.

“If I hurt you, you’ll tell me to stop,” I say, commanding rather than asking.

“Yes,” she breathes, and I force myself into her. Holy fuck, it’s heaven. I nearly lose control as the hot wetness of her clenches around me. Fuck, she’s tight. Really fucking tight. This is home, where I belong. Buried inside my wife. She gasps as I enter her and I freeze.

“Are you okay?” I ask through gritted teeth.

“Yes,” She responds. “It’s just been a while. I’m fine. It’s good. It’s so good, Christian. Keep going.”

I pull out and ease back into her, enjoying every inch of her.

“Gah!” she yells out and I’m in ecstasy. Again and again I ease out of her.

“Faster Christian, harder,” she begs. I hesitate for a moment before I pick up momentum. Holy fuck this feels so good. My thrusts become more urgent as my worries dissipate under the pleasure. She’s not stopping me and I can’t stop myself from taking more of her.

“Fuck, Christian!” She cries and I know she’s getting close. That’s it baby, let me bring you to the edge. Feel that baby? Feel how perfect we fit together? You were made for me baby, and I was made for you. Her insides start to quiver and I know her orgasm is building.

“Give it to me, baby. Come for me,” I demand and she does, screaming my name as she writhes beneath me. I lean down and kiss her, taking her screams of pleasure into my mouth. I can control myself no longer.

“Ana, oh god. Fuck, Ana!” I yell and I come violently, harder than I remember ever coming before. It’s bewildering, the pleasure that courses through me as I pound into her again and again, pouring myself into her. When at last my orgasm comes to an end, I lie over her, supporting my weight on my elbows. We’re both panting. She reaches her hands up and grasps my face, kissing me deeply again. I kiss her back eagerly, pouring all the love I feel for this woman into this one point of intimate contact.

I roll over and wrap my arms gently around her, still reeling from my powerful orgasm.

“You didn’t use a condom,” she says breaking into my reverie.

“No,” I said.

“I’m not on the shot.”

“Good,” I say, too incoherent to speak more than one syllable at a time.

“You want more children?” she asks. I nod.

There is a brief knock on the door and my mother enters the room.

“Christian I’ve just… Oh god!” She screams as both Ana and I reach for the duvet at the bottom of the bed. She turns and runs from the room, her face burning with embarrassment.

I turn and look at Anastasia, horrified and she looks back at me with shock until her face melts into a smile and she bursts in laughter. I can’t help it, the joy on her face, for the first time in weeks, melts me and I join her. She rolls over, laying her head on my chest as we both laugh uncontrollably.


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