Chapter 02

Image result for pen and paper

“So, how were your first classes?” My mother asks. I’m walking through campus to meet Kate for lunch, holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder as I search through my bag for my student id.

“They were good,” I say. “It’s a lot different, a lot more in depth than I’m used to but that’s good. I’ve read a few of the books on the reading list already so maybe I’ll get something new out of them this time.”

“I’m very proud of you, Ana. I can’t believe what you’ve achieved. I mean… Harvard! It makes me feel good, like I’ve done something right.”

“Thanks, mom,” I say, thankful she isn’t here to say these things. Touching moments like these always lead to tears. I think about Ray’s departure and have to change the subject.

“How’s Vegas?”

“Hot,” She says. “That’s about the only thing I can say. Bob and I are actually thinking about moving… maybe Savannah, Georgia. I’ve wanted to be back down south ever since we left Texas and Bob has some business contacts out there. Plus, we wouldn’t be too far from you and we’d get out of this damn desert.”

“Hey, that sounds great, Mom! I’d love to have you be only a couple hours flight away. I’ve missed you so much since my graduation. I need a visit.” I frown as the dining hall building looms over me. “Hey, I’m coming up on the food hall, Mom. Can I call you back later?”

“Sure, Ana. Have a wonderful day, sweetheart. Call me tonight and tell me everything.”

“I will. Love you mom,” I say.

“Love you too, baby girl,” she says. I hang up the phone and tuck it into the pocket of my jeans.

There is a crowd of people coming out of the food hall and I have to wait at the door for a few minutes for the hoard to disperse. Kate is already waiting for me when I finally get into the dining room.

“How are your classes going?” I ask as I sit down and dig into my salad.

“Fantastic!” She chirps. “I’m really going to like it here, I think. It looks like my Public Relations writing class is going to be hard, but we don’t pay $40,000 a semester for easy.”

I nod, grimacing at the thought of $40,000 a semester. “I know what you mean. I think my Eighteenth Century Poetry class is going to kill me.”

“What do you have for the rest of the day?” She asks.

“Just Survey of British Literature,” I say, taking a drink of juice. I’m starving and I know it’s because I skipped breakfast this morning. I’m going to have to wake up earlier tomorrow so I can get down here before my Modern Drama Seminar.

“I’ve got Organizational Communication and it looks like it’s going to be a waste of time,” Kate says, wrinkling her nose. She picks up her diet coke but something catches her eye and her face breaks into a smile.

“Jose!” she calls and she waves her arm. I turn and see him walking across the dining room towards us. He sits down next to me and his body goes limp in his chair.

“Rough day?” I ask and he rolls his head to the side to look at me.

“I barely got any sleep last night, I was so nervous. Now my brain is crammed full of Advanced Multivariable Calculus and I think it’s going to explode.” I grimace at him.

“You’re amazing Jose. I didn’t make it passed Algebra 2 in high school.”

“Yeah, but I can’t write a paper to save my life. Numbers are easy, do you know how many stupid grammar rules there are? It’s ridiculous.”

I laugh.

“Yeah but at least the space shuttle doesn’t explode or a building doesn’t collapse if someone uses there, their or they’re incorrectly.”

“I don’t know,” Jose argues. “No, don’t pull that lever over there. They’re not actually qualified to land the shuttle. Their knowledge of physics is not adequate to pilot this thing…”

Kate and I both laugh as Jose picks up his fork and begins eating.

“Oh, I wanted to tell you guys,” He says through a mouthful of food. “My roommate’s older brother is having some big party at his house this weekend. Do you guys want to go?”

“Um, yes!” Kate squeals, suddenly beaming with excitement. She grills Jose for information and then rounds on me to discuss what we’re going to wear. I figure my best bet is to just let her dress me for the evening. I could argue but I’d just be wasting my time. Kate always seems to win in the end.

“I’ve got to head out,” I say as I look down at my watch. “My Brit Lit class starts in 10 minutes.”

Kate groans as she realizes this means she also has to leave for class. We walk together until we are forced to part paths as she heads off for the communications building and I part for the English department.

When I enter the classroom for Survey of British Literature, I’m surprised at how small the room is. Just an ordinary classroom. For such a low level English class, I expected a lecture hall. Perhaps specialized literature classes aren’t in high demand from the Harvard crowd.

Most of the students have already arrived and the class is rather full so I have to pick a seat near the front of the room, something I’m not entirely comfortable with. I’ll have to remember to get here earlier on Wednesday.

“Good afternoon, class,” A man in a plaid jacket with leather patches on the elbows says as he enters. He’s an older man, short and squat with a crazy comb over that flies away from his head erratically as if he’s been rubbing a balloon over it. I want to laugh at his eccentricity but there’s something about his disheveled appearance that endears me to him.

The students around me murmur half hearted greetings in response as he walks to the front of the classroom and hands me a stack of papers. It’s a syllabus. I take one off the top and pass the stack to the person next to me as the professor begins to take attendance. My name is always near the end so I take a minute to read over the syllabus.

The class is being taught by Dr. Walter Collins and the reading list is… predictable. I sigh as I see I’ve read most of the books listed and turn my attention back to the class, looking to each person whose name is called.

Allison Dillard has fiery red hair twisted into tight, wild curls.

Charles Fischbach is skinny, pale and in serious need of a new acne treatment.

I’ve had Michael Garrett in two other classes so far this morning.

“Christian Grey?” Dr. Collins calls and I turn and gape. The boy who responds is the beautiful, brooding, mysterious guy who lives across the hall from me. He’s absolutely heart-achingly gorgeous in a white button down shirt, a charcoal gray V-neck pullover and tight, dark wash jeans. My gaze locks with his and I realize he’s staring at me. I feel the blush come again as I divert my eyes, but every time I sneak glances sideways at him, I see that he hasn’t looked away. What’s wrong with him, doesn’t he know it’s rude to stare? And why is he staring at me anyway?

“Anastasia Steele?” Dr. Collins recites.

“Here,” I squeak, my voice breaking with my embarrassment at Christian’s gaze. Oh, Christian! I know his name now. Christian Grey. I smile at this small victory as I try to turn my attention to the lecture.

The first novel we’re reading is Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. Dr. Collins outlines his objectives with the novel, stating we’ll be analyzing the socio-political aspects of Dickens and what real world impact he had on British culture and politics in the late 1800s. While he sets up the parameters for our analysis, I mentally begin outlining the paper the syllabus tells me is due at the end of the unit.

I’ve worked out most of it by the time class ends and when Dr. Collins releases us for the day, I stand, feeling satisfied by my preparation. Having this focus will make reading the novel again a little less dull. I follow the flow of students leaving the classroom, we’re all stuck at the door as too many people try to squeeze out. I approach the door and Christian is next to me, in front of me. He turns, looks down at me and steps aside gesturing his arm out in front of him.

“After you, Miss Steele,” He says.

“Thank-you,” I reply. I eye him speculatively, trying to figure him out. So far the personality traits I have are cold, impersonal, stares inappropriately and… gentlemanly? It’s a strange combination. Perhaps he comes from an East-Coast, wealthy, WASP family and his manners are so deeply ingrained in him, his actions were more habit than conscious decision.

I contemplate this as I make my way back to Gray hall and as I do, I notice he’s walking beside me. Not purposefully, surely, we are heading for the same destination, but oddly his pace keeps up with mine. I decide, rather bravely I think, to attempt conversation.

“So you’re an English major?” I ask.

“No,” He replies shortly. He’s holding a blackberry in his hand, texting I think. What college freshman has a blackberry? Aren’t those for like, businessmen and older people who have convinced themselves they can’t work iPhones?

“So… what are you studying then?” I ask, wondering if attempting to keep up the conversation is a waste of time.

“Economics and Politics,” He responds.

“Why are you in a literature survey class then?”

“I thought it would break up the monotony,” He says, finally putting his blackberry in his pocket. His action draws my attention to his jeans and I bite my lip at the thoughts his action inspires. What am I doing? Get ahold of yourself Steele!

His eyes darken with some unknown emotion as he looks at me and I have to look away from him. It’s like he can read my thoughts and the idea of that is… humiliating, to say the least.

“So, you’re studying English then, Anastasia?” he asks.

“Ana,” I correct him automatically. “And yes.”

“What do you plan on doing with that?” His tone is almost disapproving and immediately I find myself playing defense.

“I don’t know Christian, you can do a lot of things with an English degree.”

“Such as?”

“Teaching, Publishing… maybe I’ll end up as some megalomaniac CEO in a big city someday.”

He gives me a wry smile and I giggle at his reaction. Something about his smile makes me melt, or maybe it’s just his beautiful face.

“What are you going to do with an Economics and Politics degree?” I ask, attempting the same disapproving tone. We’ve reached our dorm and he opens the door for me, once again motioning me inside.

“I’m going to rule the world, Miss Steele,” He says, his smile broadening. I roll my eyes and once again, his gaze darkens. What is with him? I feel like he’s shifting through moods so fast I’m going to get whiplash.

“So how do you like your roommate?” I ask, reaching for something to talk about as we walk through the entrance hall towards the stairs.

“Roommate?” He asks raising an eyebrow at me.

“You don’t have a roommate?”

“No, Anastasia. I don’t do roommates.”

“Why do you always call me Anastasia?” I ask, slightly irritated. I’ve corrected him twice now.

“Because that’s your name,” He says.

“But I prefer to be called Ana.”

“Is that so?” He’s pulled out his phone again and I frown. Isn’t it still considered rude to be on your phone when you’re having a conversation with someone. I add another personality trait to my list, Christian Grey is rude. We walk down the hall towards our rooms and as we get closer, I realize that most of the doors in the hallway are open, including mine. Kate is playing music and Christian and I are surrounded by Justin Timberlake singing about bringing Sexy Back.

“Does she plan on doing that often?” Christian asks, his beautiful face wrinkling with his distaste.

“You’re not very nice,” I say without thinking. I freeze as I realize that I actually said the words aloud and turn to look at Christian who, surprisingly, is looking down at me with an amused expression on his face.

“No, Miss Steele. I am not.”

From Anastasia to Miss Steele. Another trait, Christian Grey is very formal.

“Ana! You’re ba-” Kate exclaims as she passes the open door. She stops and her mouth pops open slightly as she sees who I’m talking to.

“Hi, Kate,” I say. Christian’s phone rings and he looks down at the number and frowns.

“Anastasia,” He nods.

I wave after him stupidly and when his door closes, I exhale in relief. Why am I so intimidated by him? Oh right, his beauty, his formal attitude, the way his eyes harden when he glares at me… the reasons are endless.

“Get in here!” Kate yells and she reaches out to pull me in the room. She slams the door behind us and rounds on me with a desperate ferocity I’ve never seen. Oh here it comes, the Katherine Kavanagh inquisition.

“So?” She demands.

“So what?” I ask.

“Tell me everything. What is he like? Are you into him? Is he into you? What’s his name?”

“Christian Grey,” I say, responding to the easiest question first.

“Ana, come on! Don’t hold back, give me details!”

“I don’t know, Kate. He’s kind of… intimidating. Actually, he’s kind of a jerk.” I admit.

“Figures,” Kate sighs and she walks across the room to turn down the stereo and take out her books. I frown as I stare at her. Do I think he’s a jerk? I did add rude to my list, and he did seem to pay as little attention to me as possible on our walk back to the dorm. But his smile… I feel butterflies as I think of his smile and I have to turn away from Kate so she doesn’t see me grinning like an idiot. No, he may be… blunt, distracted even, but he wasn’t a jerk.

I think about Kate’s questions more seriously now that I don’t have to respond out loud. Is he into you? Doubtful. Are you into him? Absolutely. I can see that now. I like him. I want to get to know him. We have a class together and we live across the hall from one another. I can do this.

I sit down at my own desk and pull out my homework, focusing less on the reading and more on my plan to befriend the elusive Christian Grey.

Next Chapter

 

Chapter 01

harvard-university-scholarships-2018-2019

“Do you have everything you need?” Ray asks uncertainty as he slams the trunk down.

“I hope so, Dad. It’s a four day trip back to Montesano if I forgot anything,” I say as I sling an overstuffed duffle bag over my shoulder.

“I’ve got two more weeks until I’m deployed. If you need anything before then, let me know and I’ll mail it to you.”

I feel a dry pain in the back of my throat at the reminder of Ray’s impending departure. He was so proud, so excited about my acceptance into an Ivy League school, he re-enlisted to help me pay for it. The military aid had been a helpful addition to the grants and scholarships I’d already received, but I wasn’t sure the payoff was worth the risk my father was taking.

“Are you sure you won’t stay the night?” I ask him, trying to prolong the time I have with him. “We could have dinner and you could look around the campus with me.”

“I’d love to, Ana, but it’s a long drive back. I’ve got to get on the road,” I nod and he pulls me into a tight hug. “I’m so proud of you, baby girl.” He says, and the dry pain in my throat intensifies as tears begin pouring out of my eyes. I know there are students milling all around us, but I can’t stop the torrent of emotion I feel.

“Oh, Ana. Don’t cry. Everything is going to be just fine, you’ll see,” Ray says reassuringly.

I bury my face into his coat as I cry, holding him close to me and inhaling his scent. I want to memorize it, to keep it with me, because I don’t know when I’m going to see him again.

“When does Kate get here?” He asks as he strokes his hand through my hair.

“Tomorrow,” I sniff. I take two deep calming breaths and try to reign in my tears. When I pull away, my dad looks down and cradles my cheek in his palm, wiping away the moisture in my eyes with his thumb.

“You’re going to be great, Ana. You are my life’s greatest accomplishment.”

“I love you, Dad,” I tell him.

“I love you too, Ana. Forever and for always,” He pulls me into a hug once more, kisses the top of my head, and then climbs back into the car. “Call me if you need anything, sweetheart. Anything at all.”

I wave and he drives away. There is a sense of crushing loneliness as I watch his car disappear around the corner. This is it. I’m not a child anymore. I’m an adult facing the world alone for the first time. I steel myself, trying to regain my I was accepted into an ivy league school kind of confidence. When I’m sure my tears are done, I turn to follow the mass of students for registration, but the very first step I take snags my toe on a crack in the uneven sidewalk and I’m sent sprawling to the ground. People look at me, confused, worried, and one girl snorts in laughter as she passes.

I. Am. Humiliated.

“Are you okay?” I hear someone ask over me. I look up and see a handsome boy with straight white teeth looking down at me. He reaches out his hand and helps me up.

“Sorry, gravity has never been my strong point,” I tell him. He laughs as he reaches down to pick up my duffle bag.

“Thank you,” I say as I take the bag from him. “I’m Ana.”

“Jose,” He says. “Jose Rodriguez.”

“Ana Steele,” I reply, and I smile back at him. His boyish grin is infectious.

“Do you want to go in together?” He asks.

“After you,” I respond. He looks down at me, shoves his arm through mine, and leads me forward.

We stand in line waiting to receive our welcome packets and I learn that Jose is from Sequim, Washington, only a couple hours away from me. His dad is also ex-army and he’s here studying mathematics on a scholarship.

“But photography is my real passion,” He says. He reaches into his bag, pulls out a brown leather portfolio, and hands it to me. I open it and see that it’s full of beautiful landscapes, the sun streaming through the wet canopy of the Olympic rain forest, the sun setting over the ocean…

“Wow, Jose. These are amazing!” I say, and he takes it from me, showing me some of his favorites. “You’re very talented.”

“So what do you do?” He asks.

“I read,” I reply with a shrug. “That’s what I’m studying. Literature.”

“Jose Rodriguez?” A woman calls, and he turns his head to look at her.

“Here!” he shouts back, waving his arm, and he turns back to look at me and frowns. I hand him back his portfolio, which he takes and shoves hastily into his bag, then he pulls out a sharpie and grabs my hand, scrawling a phone number on my forearm.

“Call me,” He says, and he heads to the registration table. I smile after him when I hear my name called from a table to my left.

“Anastasia Steele?” They say, and I also wave in acknowledgement.

The dark haired guy in hipster glasses and a gray beanie gives me the “Welcome to Harvard” speech. He hands me a campus map, a list of my classes, and my dorm assignments, and after thanking him, I follow the map to Grays Hall. The building is old, red brick, and centered in the middle of the main yard. I walk in and am immediately floored by the grandeur of my surroundings. I suppose requesting Katherine Kavanagh as a roommate does have its advantages.

I climb the stairs, hauling my bag with me. The hallways are long and narrow and I’m surprised by the number of rooms crammed on each floor. When I get to my door, #309, I pause and then feel a smile creep across my lips at the handmade signs that read Katherine Kavanagh and Anastasia Steele.

This feels like a truly important moment, standing in front of my dorm room at Harvard University for the very first time, and I take a moment to appreciate it as I reach down for the handle and push the door open. Our room is white, with hardwood floors, cream linen curtains, and two single beds, each pushed up against opposite walls. The advantages of arriving before your roommate? I get to pick which side of the room I want. I study each bed meticulously, considering how the sunlight would hit them in the morning, which side of the room feels draftier, and which seems to receive less noise from the window. The left side, I think. Definitely the left side.

I start unpacking, putting clothes in the dresser, making my bed, and setting up the used laptop my dad bought for me as a graduation gift on the desk closest to my bed. I don’t have much to make the room look homey but I’m sure Kate will fix that.

When I’m finished emptying my luggage, I grab the map and head out the door to explore the campus. The hallway is full of new freshmen arriving, filing into their own rooms with their own handmade signs. I notice, briefly, that there is no sign on the door across the hall, only the golden number 310, and I wonder if it’s going to be empty. That would be convenient. Less noise to distract from studying, although, with Kate as a roommate, I’m know that I’m going to have to get used to noise.

My first priority is to find each of my classes, which doesn’t take long as they’re all in the same building. Next, I head for the library and introduce myself to the main librarian as I will be working here this semester. Finally, I find the bookstore and the computer labs before I decide to head off for the food hall to sample the campus cuisine.

After dinner, I head back for Grays Hall and make my way to my room. It’s been a full day and I’m exhausted. The stairs seem like an impossible hike as I haul my tired body up them but, eventually, I make it and walk down the hall. I’m about to enter my room when I notice a light streaming through the crack under the door from the room across from me. So, there are people in there. Why don’t they have signs on their door? But as I stand there pondering the reasons, I realize this is a silly thing to be preoccupied over and shake my head as I push my way into my dorm.

The next morning, I wake to the sound of music coming through the wall next to my bed. It’s so loud, I can feel my bed vibrating. I’m definitely going to need to invest in some noise cancelling headphones. I grab my shower tote and head into the private bathroom I will share with Kate. In 30 minutes, I’m showered, dressed, and heading out for breakfast, then the bookstore.

My book list is fairly long and I frown as I look at the prices of the books I put in my hand basket. Thank god I secured my work-study in the library, I wouldn’t have made it through the semester without some kind of gainful income.

“Ana?” I hear someone say behind me, and I turn to see Jose.

“Hi, Jose!” I say, smiling at him.

“I waited desperately for your call last night.” He says, with an over exaggerated pout. “I was beginning to think I wasn’t as charming as I thought I was.”

“Sorry, I was unpacking. What dorm assignment did you get?” I ask.

“Hollis. You?”

“I’m in Grays,” I respond, and he whistles.

“Fancy digs, Steele,” He says, and I roll my eyes.

“My roommate demands only the best,” I tell him, and then we walk together for the register to pay for our books.

“Call me if you want a dinner date, Ana,” He says as he departs, and I tell him I will. I look down at my arm and am relieved to find that his number didn’t wash completely off in the shower this morning. I pull out my phone and add him into my contacts before I forget. I have a feeling Jose and I are going to be good friends.

There are more people moving into the dorms today so I have to slide my way against the wall to make it down the corridor to my room. As I approach, the door to the room across from me opens and a tall, bronzed hair guy comes out. My breath catches as I really get a look at him. He’s gorgeous. Like, movie star gorgeous. I know I should be embarrassed by the way I’m gaping at him, but I can’t look away.

“Hello?” He says when he notices me staring at him. His brow furrows as I blush deep scarlet.

“Hi,” I reply, my voice too high. “I’m, Ana. I uh… live across the hall.”

His eyes shift to the door and he stares at it puzzled for a second before his gaze comes back to me.

“Anastasia?” He asks.

“Uh… yeah. But, I… uh, prefer Ana,” I’m stammering like an idiot, what is wrong with me? He’s looking at me disapprovingly and as I silently chastise myself for being a total spaz, I realize that he hasn’t introduced himself.

“You don’t have a name tag,” I hint hesitantly.

“No, I don’t,” He says shortly, and he turns back to his door to lock it. He reaches down to pick up the messenger bag he’s set on the ground next to his feet and then turns to leave.

“Anastasia,” He says, nodding at me as he walks by, and I turn to look after him as he disappears through the crowd of people. Well he’s not very friendly, but damn is he beautiful. I sigh as I realize how far his looks put him out of my league. I tell myself he’s probably an asshole anyway, anyone that beautiful has no reason to be nice, and then, pushing my longing aside, I cross the hall to my own room. When the door is open, I’m attacked by an unexpected flurry of blonde hair and arms.

“Ana!” Kate cries as she wraps her arms around me.

“Hi, Kate!” I say, excitedly.

“I was hoping I would get here early enough this morning to surprise you. Have you been walking around the campus? Isn’t it beautiful?” she asks, releasing me.

I set my books on my desk and look at the progress Kate has made on our room. She’s replaced the ivory curtains with soft yellow sheers. The walls are covered in pastel colored art, which are mostly comprised of motivational sayings and abstract shapes. Her bedding is gray, white, and bright blue, and she’s laid out a long staple, extremely soft, white area rug across the floor.

“Looks good, Kate,” I say approvingly, and she beams at me.

“My mom and I kind of went crazy at Bed, Bath, and Beyond,” She says, laughing. I help her unpack the rest of her things and then we go down to dinner together. On the way down, I text Jose and ask him if he wants to join us, and he responds telling me he’ll meet us there.

Kate and I take helpings of grilled chicken and salad, then find a table in the crowded dining room. Jose joins us and in a matter of minutes he has Kate under his spell, too. We talk happily about our excitement for classes and the plans Kate has for our first couple nights out.

“Have you seen the guy across the hall?” She asks me.

“Just for a minute,” I reply, my blush returning.

“He’s so hot,” She continues. “I saw him coming in from the gym, he was all sweaty and delicious.” There is a dreamy look in her eyes and I’m sure she’s now lost in inappropriate fantasies.

“The guy across the hall might now be a good idea, Kate.” I tell her. “He’s going to be there for at least the whole semester. How are you going to avoid him when you eventually get tired of him?”

“Good point,” She frowns. “I guess I’ll just admire him from afar.”

I laugh, but know that, secretly, I plan to do the same. We finish dinner, say goodbye to Jose, and return to our room. It feels as though a nightly routine begins as Kate complains about how small the bathroom is while I settle into bed with a book. Classes start tomorrow and I’m starting to get nervous. I remind myself that everyone has to have a first day and that I’m not any further behind than anyone else here. It’s comforting, but only just…

Kate plops down in bed and pulls an eye mask down over her eyes. “Goodnight, Ana,” She says.

“Goodnight, Kate,” I reply, and I put my book on the bedside table, switch off the light, and snuggle into my pillow.

Next chapter

 

34 Reasons I Love Jamie Dornan

Today is Jamie Dornan’s 34th birthday! So, in honor of this beautiful, perfect man, I’ve compiled a list of the 34 reasons I love him.

1. He’s seriously GORGEOUS!

    It’s not really what I would call fair… There is a level to this kind of hotness that makes me believe in a higher power, and that sometimes, they like to show off.

2. This picture of him holding a football.

gallery-1458337873-ag-105319-003jpg
Do I need to say anything else?

3. He’s a dork.

He doesn’t take himself very seriously, which makes him irresistible. Nothing brightens my day more than seeing pictures of him on set doing weird things or goofing around, except maybe this video of him reading catalogues- but sexy.

4. His walk.

He’s very self conscious about this apparently but I think it’s adorable. The strange thing is that I didn’t even notice it until he pointed it out.

5. He’s a loving and devoted father.

Who’s heart doesn’t melt when they see a man absolutely infatuated with their children? Seriously, almost too much for me to handle.

tumblr_nkhxria8lz1snvxeyo1_500
Be Still My Heart

6. His accent.

I’m not going to lie… I’ve never been one to swoon for accents. Australian… okay. British… meh. But with Jamie, his deep timber and smooth Northern Irish accent is just icing an already delectable double chocolate fudge brownie cake.

7. This Calvin Klein ad.

3458961_v650x433
Golden Torso? Golden…

8. His beard.

I’ve written about it before, but that’s because this love is real. I know the realities of facial hair… it’s sharp, it’s scratchy, it collects things… Overall, I’m not interested. But on Jamie… yes, please.

tumblr_n1mfjt3dnb1scujnho1_500

9. This .gif

tumblr_nfpp2p4iaw1s147pbo1_500

I can’t really tell you what it is about it… but it’s my favorite .gif of all time, which is saying something because Britney Spears isn’t even in it.

10. He’s adorable

He’s humble and he’s sweet and, just like a puppy in a pet store, I want to take him home and keep him forever.

imzq70am18rcq

11. His hot bod.

Warning, gratuitous eye candy below:

12. This interview:

13. The Fall.

This is quite possibly my favorite show on the air today (hint: get your shit together BBC and release season 3). Sexy Jamie Dornan as a serial killer who strangles women in their beds and gets up to sexual mischief in all kinds of different ways? Umm yes please.

tumblr_nap50012ds1si4n1ho3_500

14. His love for his wife.

Okay, so 99.9% of the time, I like to pretend that he isn’t married so that I don’t feel weird about my obsession with him. But the other .01% of the time, I totally find his devotion to his wife outrageously, soul-crushingly, fantastic. I mean, he took his wife to a Rihanna concert. That’s love. Amelia Warner, you are one lucky lady.

jamie-dornan-and-his-wife-amelia-warner

15. Fairytale by Sons of Jim.

Did you know that Jamie Dornan was in a band? Did you know that that band was really good? This is my favorite song.

16. This .gif:

tximf6oz0rcaw

17. This time that he got really excited by this picture name card of himself at a table.

tumblr_ni1016gsuo1qjdibuo1_1280

18. He used to be a model

Now this may just sound like a repeat of #1, but in fact it is entirely different. Whereas most celebrities, you’re limited to paparazzi pictures, photos from premiers or award shows, publicity stills, and the occasional Instagram post, we have amazing pictures of Jamie that are seemingly endless.

19. He doesn’t post much on social media but when he does, it’s gold.

12219578_895477507208426_6714311696786232868_n

screen-shot-2015-02-09-at-pm-02-35-28-png

Did I mention he’s hilarious?

20. After much contention, he’s my perfect Christian Grey.

I was not team Jamie when it was announced he was taking over for Charlie Hunnam, not because I was attached to Charlie, but because of my reservations with Jamie which probably have a lot to do with the fact I didn’t believe anyone could live up to Christian Grey… I wrote several twitter rants ending with #NotMyChristian but here, in front of the world, I would now like to redact that statement. You Jamie, are #MyChristian.

nxgnwcyhmywqa

21. He loves FRIENDS

So, this was part of the whole #askjamiedornan thing that happened while he was promoting Fifty Shades of Grey in 2015. Someone asks, “What’s your favorite TV Show?” and wouldn’t you know it, we have this in common.

635852948635579517-1119709349_friends

I’m a Monica… Jamie, please be my Chandler.

22. He makes fun of Dakota Johnson in a completely adorable way.

I hate when people say these two hate each other. I don’t know where that comes from. They’re so cute, I can’t handle it.

23. His tongue.

And his enjoyment of showing it off.

tumblr_mzmafo3mea1s9qyxio1_500

24. This .gif

4a5iopdzuhh6u
Mhmmm

25. He likes puppies.

Seriously solidifying heartthrob status right now.

jamie-dornan-on-set-fifty-shades-jog-dog-tom-lorenzo-site-7

26. He plays sports and is kind of a trickster.

yvtsggauachaw

27. He makes golf interesting.

Part of me believes that watching the US Open should be outlawed under the provisions of the 8th Amendment of the US Constitution… but then again, when Jamie does it, I suddenly find this sport fascinating.

e7941353dab943f1a64a433001565037

28. He’s a method actor.

For Fifty Shades of Grey he visited a real BDSM sex dungeon and for The Fall, he actually stalked a woman around London for an afternoon. Mostly I appreciate this because I like to think that one day, I could be that woman…

29. He’s really good at kissing scenes.

Like, really good…

tumblr_naezz5xje31sy06poo5_500

1tgs4ukztzn5u

ms2iitixfwclu

cnqcccxhzfx7a

Excuse me for a minute.

30. He gets embarrassed.

Dakota has a problem controlling her mouth sometimes, and Jamie’s reaction is priceless…

31. He’s a gentleman.

It’s not always easy walking around a multi-million dollar yacht in a ball gown, but Jamie is always willing to led a helping hand.

help

Even if it’s just climbing out of a limo in heels.

hoajw9yauedug

32. He likes cheesecake.

Which is excellent because I love cheesecake and I feel like this is something we could bond over.

d88aba59f161d0dabaa354d040173252

33. This .gif.

tumblr_na7q82p4qr1sx5e06o4_500

**And Last But Not Least**

34. His smile

tumblr_nk17vhtzes1sioes4o1_500 It’s a whole new level of adorable hotness…

Happy Birthday Jamie! 

I suppose today I’ll be wishingjamiedornanwashere 🙂