Chapter 23

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Google Alert: Christian Grey

TMZ, June 7th 2010: Uh oh, Miss Williams! It looks like Seattle’s most famous mistress… isn’t. TMZ has exclusively obtained text messages that show Leila William’s not only admitting to lying about her affair with CEO Christian Grey but actually asking Mr. Grey’s assistant to lie as well!


What the fuck?

I click on the article and, sure enough, the first thing I see is a screenshot of the text conversation I read on Andrea’s phone last night. How did this get to TMZ? Panic overtakes me as all of the concerns that had me tied up in knots last night come crashing back over me. My stomach clenches as I remember reading something about evidence being thrown out in OJ Simpson’s trial because a witness gave testimony to the media… Can that happen if text messages leak online?

I immediately dial Carrick.

“Hello?” He answers.

“Did you see the texts?” I ask him.

“On TMZ?”

“Yes.”

“Of course I did,” He says. “I leaked them.”

“You… what?”

“Well, Kate did… Actually, it was technically Mia. Kate had the idea last night. She had Andrea send her screen shots of the conversation between her and Leila and then Mia posted them on her twitter account.”

“Oh…” I say, feeling slightly taken aback. “I was worried that having the text messages leak might ruin Christian’s case or something.”

“What case? Ana, we’re not going to court, remember? I leaked the text messages so the public would know what was really happening, and so that Miss Williams’ attorney would know what we had against them, and it’s working. Her attorney called me this morning asking if we could reach a settlement. I told her to, essentially, go to hell, and she’s called two other times since then offering different deals that I’ve also rejected. They’re desperate, they know they’ve lost. I give it 48 hours before they drop the charges.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’ve been doing this a long time, Ana. I’m sure.”

I take a deep breath and nod, before realizing that I’m on the phone and Carrick can’t see me agreeing with him. “Okay, good,” I tell him. “Has Christian seen it?”

“I talked to him about a half hour ago.”

I frown. Christian’s flight for New York left at just after 5 AM this morning and he didn’t wake me before he left. There was a note on the bedside table for me, and it was sweet and romantic, but it wasn’t a kiss goodbye. It wasn’t the chance to see him off at the airport, even if I only got to do that from the backseat of the SUV. I’d hoped he would have at least called me once he landed but apparently not. I suppose he is on a business trip though, and since he just got there, he probably doesn’t have a lot of free time to talk. The sexual harassment case is important. Calling me to tell me how much he misses me can probably wait until tonight.

There is a knock at the door, which opens without any invitation from me, and Brian steps into my office.

“Ana, they’re ready for you in conference room number three.”

Shit, is it eleven already?

“Hey, Carrick, I’ve got to go. I’ve got meetings all afternoon,” I say regretfully.

“Okay, Ana. Have a good day at work and promise me that you’re going to take some time to enjoy yourself over the next few days while Christian is away. I know that this has been stressful for you and you’ve been so focused on being there for Christian, I just want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself too. You’re 21 years old, and this is your very last summer vacation. Have some fun, Ana, and if you get into trouble, give me a call.”

I laugh. “I don’t know if I could afford your retainer fee.”

“So you are after my son’s money, then?” He asks, a teasing tone to his voice, and I laugh again.

“Damn it!” I exclaim with false chagrin. “You know, I really thought those two years away would throw you off but you’re just too astute, Mr. Grey.”

“Well, I did go to Harvard,” He brags.

“Ana,” Brian interrupts me again, giving me a what do you think you’re doing look.

“Okay, Carrick. I really have to go. Call me if anything else happens with the case.”

“Will do, Ana,” He says. “Have a good day.”

I thank him and tell him goodbye, and then set my phone on the desk to quickly begin gathering everything I’m going to need for the three back to back meetings I have all afternoon. When I finally get out of my seat and head for the door, Brian rolls his eyes and shuffles after me like a child being drug around shopping with his mother on a Saturday instead of being allowed to play with his friends.

I feel slightly achy as I walk back to my office at the end of the work day. My final meeting with the SIP literary agents, which was focused on redesigning the query process and the way that new authors are brought under the SIP, now GEH, umbrella, went hours longer than I intended it to. I know some of them are comfortable with their positions and the way things run around here and it was clear in the meeting how resistant to change they are. Fortunately, a few of the newer agents can see the same flaws that I do and are on my side. As for the others… well, Christian did tell me it’s impossible not to lose a single employee in an acquisition. My job is to make SIP successful, to make it an asset for Christian, not a liability. I just have to remember that going forward when difficult decisions have to be made.

When I finally get back into my office, I stretch a little to relax some tension in my neck and then reach down to pick up the phone I left on my desk to check the time. Crap, it’s nearly six thirty… and I’ve missed four calls, one text, and one email.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: The absent Anastasia Steele

Date: June 7th 2010 05:18 PM

To: Anastasia Steele

I’ve been gone less than fourteen hours and you’re already ignoring my phone calls? Call me or I’ll be forced to call Sawyer.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

I hit reply.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Sorry!

Date: June 7th 2010 06:23 PM

To: Christian Grey

Hey, sorry… I forgot my phone before I went into my meetings and the last one went long. I’m going to head home now. I miss you.

Xx

Anastasia Steele

Implementation Director, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

 

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Found

Date: June 7th 2010 06:25 PM

To: Anastasia Steele

I know, I called Sawyer.

I’m heading back to my hotel, call me when you get home.

I miss you too, and I love you.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

There is a knock on my door that interrupts my response to Christian’s email and I look up and see Luke poke his head into my office.

“Hey, are you about ready to go?” He asks.

“Yeah,” I say, gathering some things to work on at home, picking up my bag and smiling at him as I walk for the door. The office is fairly empty, with only of few of the agents who were in the meeting with me staying behind. Luke opens the door for me and we quickly make our way through the flash of lights from the crowd of paparazzi whose interest in me seems to have increased now that I’m not longer just Christian’s alleged office romance, but now, his confirmed girlfriend. They shout questions to me, asking about wedding dates or to confirm pregnancy rumors, but I do my best to ignore them, keeping my face pointed at the ground and shielded by my bag and gripping tightly to the back of Luke’s jacket as he leads me towards the Lincoln.

Kate is already in the apartment when I get to Escala and it seems she’s made herself right at home. Where I’ve always found it kind of weird and uncomfortable that Christian has staff that wait on us all the time, Kate seems to enjoy it. I find her curled up on the couch in front of the TV drinking a cup of tea and eating the roasted chicken and green beans that I know Mrs. Jones had planned to prepare for dinner tonight.

“Hey,” She says, turning to smile at me when she hears me enter the great room behind her. “There’s dinner if you’re hungry. Gail is awesome, this is delicious.”

“Yeah, she’s great,” I say as I walk past her. “I’m just going to change.”

“Okay, but you should know we’re going out tonight!” She calls after me, and I stop just before I make it into the hallway and turn around to look at her.

“What do you mean we’re going out tonight?” I ask her, narrowing my eyes, but she just smiles sweetly back at me.

“I mean that Elliot is having a brother/sister date with Mia tonight so I thought you and I could go down to Foundation to dance a little and have a few drinks.”

“It’s a Monday night, Kate.”

“So?”

“So, I have to work tomorrow. Maybe we can go on Friday. Besides, Christian will be back so it’ll probably be more fun anyway.”

“I doubt it,” She says. I frown at her and she continues. “It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with Christian, it’s just that when you’re with him, you’re… with him. I wanted a night with you, like back in Cambridge. A couple of girls out on the town, telling boys we’re lesbians so they don’t hit on us and then rolling our eyes at them when they start to hit on us harder. If we wait for Christian to get back, he’ll bogart you the whole night and I’ll hardly get to dance with you at all. Besides, if you and Christian showed up to a club together, there would be a swarm of paparazzi we’d have to fight our way through and Christian would probably back out and you’d go with him because he’s been gone all week and you’d want to spend time with him.”

Well, she has a point… “Then we’ll make plans for next weekend.”

“His birthday weekend?”

Shit. “You have to work tomorrow, too,” I argue. “Don’t you want to wait to go drinking until we have a day off to recuperate?”

“No, and me having to work tomorrow should encourage you to go. I’m not saying let’s go get blacked out, Ana. Let’s go dance for a few hours, have a few cocktails and get to bed at a reasonable hour. That’s all I’m asking.”

“I don’t know, Kate…”

“Kate!” Luke yells from behind me and I turn around to watch him storm angrily out of the foyer, glaring at my best friend on the couch. “You called my girlfriend and invited her to go out to a club with you and Ana tonight?”

“Wait, you invited Leah?” I interject and Kate shrugs.

“Well, I knew you wouldn’t be able to go without Luke going too or Christian would have a coronary, but that doesn’t really help the whole girls on the town thing I was going for, so I thought I would invite someone to keep him company.”

“How do you even know her?” I ask.

“I met her last weekend,” Kate says. “While you were slumming it in Montesano with Christian, Luke was at Grace and Carrick’s playing xbox and watching the Mariners with Elliot. Leah was over there with him all day Saturday. She’s nice, I think you’ll like her.”

“She won’t, because she’s not going to get to meet her,” Luke says. “I can’t have my girlfriend around when I’m working, Kate.”

“Sure you can,” I say, excited now for the opportunity Kate has given me, and a little jealous that she got to meet Leah before I did. “She’s coming to hang out with us and you have to be there too. It’s not your fault she’s friends with Kate.”

“I don’t think Mr. Grey will see it that way,” Luke says.

“I don’t think Mr. Grey has to know about it,” Kate laughs.

“I can’t lie to him about taking Ana out, Kate, and I can’t take my girlfriend out when I’m working.”

“Well, we’re going,” I tell Luke. “Kate’s right. I need a night of fun with my best friend and I need my CPO with me. So, get your dancing shoes, Luke. We’re going out.”

“And you should probably like, go pick up your girlfriend and bring her to the club,” Kate suggests. “I don’t think she’d be very happy if made her meet you there but then you showed up with two other girls.”

“I have to stay with, Ana.”

“We’ll be fine,” I say dismissively. “Kate’s right. You and I have enough problems with Christian’s jealousy. I don’t want Leah thinking I’m trying to move in on her boyfriend.”

“Ana…” Luke begins but I stop the argument by turning around and heading back into the bedroom to change. As I make my way down the hallway, I hear Kate whisper, “Best friend.” emphatically to Luke.

“Shut up, Kate,” He replies.

I eat dinner and then let Kate make me up to go out to the club. It takes a little longer than we planned since she’s decided to curl and tease my hair so when Luke leaves, we’re still getting ready.

“You better be there in twenty minutes,” He says, giving each of us disapproving looks as he gets ready to leave to pick up Leah.

“No problem,” Kate promises but when Luke disappears from the bathroom, I narrow my eyes at her in the mirror.

“Twenty minutes?” I ask.

“Or forty. Whatever,” She says, and I roll my eyes as she separates another strand of hair to wrap around the hot iron.

It takes us an hour to leave Escala and Luke is not pleased. When Kate and I finally pull up in a taxi outside of Foundation, we see him and a blonde haired girl I don’t recognize waiting in the line which I feel is too long for a Monday night. Most of the people standing outside look fairly young, definitely college aged, and it is summer vacation. I suppose if you don’t have school or an internship, weeknights don’t mean anything different than weekends.

I step out of the back of the cab, careful to keep my legs together as I’ve become hyper aware of photographers watching my every move over the last week or so. Thankfully, but also to my surprise, there don’t seem to be any paparazzi around. Actually it’s kind of irritating. I can go to a club without worrying about photos being taken of me, but god forbid I go to work…

Kate hooks her arm through mine and pulls me towards the line and I watch Luke pull gently on the arm of the girl next to him and nod in our direction. Her long blonde hair fans out behind her as she turns to look at us and I’m actually kind of taken aback. Her eyes are a deep, cobalt blue, her lips smooth, pale pink and glossy, and her skin is flawless. She’s beautiful.

Way to go, Luke!

“Hey!” I greet them both with a wide smile. “It’s nice to finally meet you, I’m Ana.”

“Hi. Leah,” She says, reaching out to take my hand. She’s smiling at me but there’s something almost calculating about the way she’s looking at me. Like she’s sizing me up or something.

“How long have you guys been standing here?” Kate asks, standing even further onto her tiptoes to peer over the people in front of us and judge the distance to the door.

“About a half hour,” Luke says. “We haven’t moved.”

“Oh, no,” Kate says, shaking her head and then hooking her arm through mine. “We’re not waiting. Follow me.”

“Wait!” Leah says, reaching out to stop her. “I tried the hot girl thing. I even grabbed some girls from the back of the line to come in with me, but they won’t let Luke pass the line. We can go in, but he’d have to wait out here alone.”

“Oh, Leah… we’re not just hot girls. Come with me.”

Kate pulls me forward and marches confidently past the long line of people and the dirty looks they give us as we fight our way towards the doors. When we get to the front of the line, the bouncer doesn’t look up from his clipboard.

“Excuse me,” Kate says sweetly, and he looks up at her. “Hi.”

“Back of the line please,” He says dismissively and Kate smiles.

“Oh, come on.”

“I’m sorry, we’re at capacity. Back of the line please.”

“Are you sure about that?” Kate asks. “Maybe you don’t know who she is…” She pushes me forward and I look back at her like she’s crazy.

“No, I don’t know who she is,” The bouncer says and Kate sighs.

“This is Anastasia Steele. Christian Grey‘s girlfriend. This guy back here is her bodyguard and we’re her entourage. Now you could send us to the back of the line and ultimately be humiliated when Mr. Grey has to hear about how you forced his girlfriend to wait outside, in plain view of the paparazzi when they hear she’s here and inevitably show up, or you could let us in and he could hear about how accommodating you were. Your choice.”

“Uh… I-I’m sorry, Miss Steele,” The bouncer says, quickly unhooking the rope blocking off the door and pulling it back for us, “Please, have a good time.”

“Uh… thanks,” I say, and I’m ushered forward by Kate who triumphantly leads us all inside.

We’re led to a table near the back with low to the ground, black leather couches by a girl with hair colored like an aurora borealis. The hostess offers us a complimentary bottle of Patron which she brings back with four glasses, a bucket of ice, and a large bowl filled with sliced limes.

“Wow,” Leah says, looking down at the drink Kate pours with her with surprise. “This is a $250 bottle of alcohol. They’re just going to give it to you for free because you’re dating a rich guy?”

“Or they’ll probably bill, Christian,” I say rolling my eyes. “Which means I’m going to have to explain to him why I’m out at a club drinking tequila on a Monday night while he’s in New York. So, thanks, Kate.”

“Oh please, back when Christian was fun he went out with us all the time on school nights. We won’t stay too late, and you don’t have to drink too much. You’ll be fine, he’ll be fine, let’s not talk about him for the rest of the night. You’re my date tonight, remember?”

“Still… I should call him.” I say, only just now remember that I haven’t called him since I got back from work. I reach into my bag and pull out my phone, but Kate snatches it away, turns it on silent and sets it on the table face down.

“He’s fine, Ana. He’s working anyway. Come on, let’s go dance.”

“Kate…”

She pours a small amount of tequila into a glass and hands it to me, clearly not interested in arguing with me any further. I glance down at my phone nervously. I know if Christian really needs to get a hold of me, he’ll call Luke, but still, I’ve barely talked to him all day. The music changes as Kate takes the shot in her hand, and the pulsating beat is ultimately what keeps me from picking up the phone. I’m not going to be able to hear Christian if I call him anyway and I did promise Kate a night out where she had my full attention. Sighing with defeat, I lift the glass to my lips and take the shot. Once I’ve chased the burn of the tequila away with a lime, Kate grabs my hand, drags me onto the dance floor and we sway together to the overly remixed techno versions of all the songs that are currently overplayed on the radio.

Luke only steps away from the table when Kate waves him over to bring us more tequila. I catch several glimpses of him canoodling with Leah in the booth, looking at her adoringly and even, every so often, pressing his lips into hers. They’re adorable.

“What?” Kate asks, turning around to see what I’m grinning at. When she looks back at me, she laughs. “Well… sorry, Ana. Looks like he found a new body to guard tonight.”

“Good. I think she’s going to end up hating me. Luke takes his job way too seriously and I think ignores her a lot.”

“So be friends with her so that she can be around and he can be around her,” Kate suggests and I nod as the song changes.

“Oh my god, I love this song!” Kate squeals excitedly as 3 by Britney Spears starts thumping over the speakers. She grabs ahold of me and pulls me into her, dancing against me, until I feel a hand press into my lower back.

“Hey ladies,” A deep voice says behind me and I turn around to a guy dressed in a suit but with no tie grinning at us. “We have a table over here, I’d love to get you a drink.”

“We have our own table,” Kate says dismissively, but he doesn’t walk away.

“Oh, come on. One drink. My friend and I have been watching you two for the last few minutes and we’d like the chance to get to know you a little better.” He turns to look at me, his eyes glancing up and down the too short dress Kate forced me into before we left the house, and his eyes glint with interest.

“No, thanks. We have boyfriends,” I say, clearly.

“But no rings…” He argues, but before I can answer, I’m moved harshly aside into Kate as someone big pushes past me.

“You need to go,” Luke says flatly and the guy raises an eyebrow at him.

“Are you the boyfriend?”

“No, and you should be glad that he isn’t here because if he was, I wouldn’t be telling you to back off, I’d be dragging your ass into the back alley and beating the shit out of you for putting your hands on her. I am her bodyguard though, so what you’re going to do is turn around, go back to your friends, and leave these two girls alone. If I see you near either of them again, I’m going to pretend her boyfriend is here and you and I can take that trip out back. Your choice.”

His jaw tightens but he unconsciously takes two steps backwards. He looks uneasily at both of us, and then turns around and disappears through the crowd without another word.

“Luke!” Kate exclaims, clearly impressed. “You’re a dick.” We both laugh but Luke just scowls.

“Let’s go back to the table.” He says, and Kate frowns.

“But… It’s Britney bitch!”

“She’s playing at the table too, I promise,” Luke tells her. He grabs my hand and begins pulling me back towards the table.

“Come on, Kate,” I say over my shoulder. “I need another drink anyway.”

“Fine!” She snaps, clearly displeased, but she follows after us all the same.

Luke doesn’t let either Kate or I back on the dance floor for the rest of the night and Leah doesn’t seem to be too pleased about it. I try several times to start a conversation with her but she isn’t interested in talking to me. Instead, she keeps shooting me pointed looks, like I’m purposefully intruding on her time with Luke, so I do my best to keep my back turned to both of them as I talk and dance with Kate in the booth.

“I have to pee!” I tell her, as I set my glass back down on the table and begin sucking on one of the lime wedges from the bowl.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Kate asks, wiping the citrus juice from her fingers and bobbing a little to the music.

“No, but pour another round. I’ll be right back.”

She nods and reaches for the bottle of Patron, while I step around Luke, who is either whispering something into Leah’s ear, or maybe kissing her neck. When I move past him though, he rubs his hand over her knee a few times, nods in my direction and then gets up to follow me.

“Where are you going?” I hear Leah yell over the music.

“I’ve got to follow her,” He says, and when I see Leah’s face tighten, I put my hand up to push Luke back a little.

“It’s okay, Luke,” I reassure him. “I’m just going to the bathroom. I’ll be back in five minutes.”

“I don’t think so,” He says.

“I’m fine! Seriously, I want you to hang out with your girlfriend. Watch my drink. Make sure nobody roofies me. Especially that blonde girl I’m with. I think she’s trouble.” He looks at me dubiously, clearly not comfortable with the idea of me walking twenty feet away from the table by myself. I want to roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of that, but refrain. “It’ll be fine, Luke. I promise. If I’m not back in five minutes you can send the National Guard out for me.”

“Hurry,” He says shortly. “If I have to send the National Guard out for you, I don’t even want to know what Mr. Grey will be sending out after me.”

I laugh and then turn around and squeeze my way through the crowd of people towards the bathrooms. It doesn’t surprise me when I find the long line winding it’s way through the door of the ladies restroom and into the hallway, but I’m pretty sure the wait is going to be longer than five minutes so I pull out my phone, snap a picture of the line in front of me, and send it to Luke.

Good News! I made it without being kidnapped. Bad news, I’m going to be here awhile.

It’s only after I send the text that I see the other notifications scattered across the apps of my screen. 7 missed calls, 2 voicemails, three text messages, and one email.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Where the fuck are you?

Date: June 7th 2010 09:38 PM

To: Anastasia Steele

Anastasia, I have called you, Kate, AND Sawyer and not one of you has answered even one of my phone calls. Gail has informed me that the three of you have gone out, but she can’t tell me where. Call me back, immediately.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

Oh shit. I check the clock on my phone and my stomach churns. He sent this email almost two hours ago… Also, it’s after 11:30 on a Monday night and instead of being in bed, I’m still in a club twenty minutes away from my apartment and my head is swimming with tequila. This is not going to be good for work tomorrow. I should have known having Kate stay with me this week would lead to trouble… maybe I should have asked Elliot.

I frown back down at Christian’s email. It’s 2:30 in the morning in New York right now, which probably means he’s gone to bed, so I decide to respond to his email, rather than calling him back.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: I’m so sorry!

Date: June 7th 2010 11:41 PM

To: Christian Grey

I’m so sorry, Christian! I’m downtown getting drinks at Foundation with Kate, Luke, and his girlfriend, Leah, and I didn’t hear my phone. I’m fine. Please don’t be mad.

Anastasia Steele

Implementation Director, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

Once the email is sent, I take the two steps forward that the line has moved and my phone buzzes silently in my hand.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: RE:

Date: June 7th 2010 11:43 PM

To: Anastasia Steele

Go home, Anastasia. I’ll speak to you in the morning.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

Well, so much for not being mad. It is getting late though… I probably should go home. I decide that once I’ve gone to the bathroom, I’ll grab Kate and we’ll head back to Escala. Luke can stay if Leah isn’t ready to leave. I don’t want to do anything that could risk turning her against me more than she already seems to be.

My phone buzzes once more in my hand, and I worry for a moment that Christian is emailing me again, deciding he’d rather yell now than in the morning, but it’s a text from Luke.

It’s been five minutes…

I text back.

Still waiting in line. Reason number 786,001 girls have it harder than boys.

“Ana…” a familiar voice says and I freeze. I look up from my phone and am floored by who I see staring nervously back at me only a few feet away. Her hair is dark now and some of her features are just slightly skewed by the heavy make up I’ve never seen her wear before, but the warm, bourbon color of her eyes is unmistakable.

“Leila,” I say, shortly, not knowing if the sudden wave of emotion I feel is anger, hurt, fear, or some unequal combination of all three.

“Is he…?”

“No. No, he’s in New York,” I tell her and she nods.

“I’ve thought about this a lot over the past couple days, what it would be like if I saw you again. I didn’t think it would be so soon. I thought I’d have time to know what I was going to say.”

“I don’t really have anything to say to you, Leila,” I say, coldly. “You know I’m under investigation at Harvard. I might be expelled from school because of what you did.”

She lets out a sharp huff as her eyes shoot up towards the sky and she shakes her head. “Oh, poor you. Poor little Anastasia Steele. You might lose your Ivy League education? However will the penthouse apartments, and the new cars, and the private jets, and the millions of dollars, and the love of the most beautiful man most of us will ever lay eyes on fill that Harvard sized void for you? God, you don’t even appreciate what you have. You have everything I have ever dreamed of and it isn’t enough for you,” She pauses and shakes her head again. “You don’t deserve him. I don’t even know what he sees in you.”

“Do you even know anything about him, Leila?” I ask, the anger taking over now. “Beyond the money, and the company, and his face… do you know anything about who his is?”

She stares at me blankly, almost challenging me.

“He’s not from Seattle,” I tell her, the vitriol in my voice ringing clear. “He’s from Detroit. His real mother was neglectful, abusive, and died of an overdose when he was four. Grace was the doctor whole pulled him out of that filthy house and he was so malnourished, they were surprised he was alive. He didn’t speak a word until he was six years old. He still carries that around with him, it affects him everyday. Maybe what he sees in me, is that I don’t care about the money, or the penthouse, or the private jets… I know who he is, and I love him. For the good, the bad, and the really ugly.”

Leila frowns and looks away from me for a minute. I can see in her eyes that she’s fighting with something, but whether it’s mostly hate for me, or for Christian, or both, I can’t decide.

“So… what?” She says. “You expect me to fall back into the crowd and admire this perfect romance you two are selling to the world? You know, I may not have known about his past, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know things about him. You told me you met him in college? Was that before or after Elena Lincoln?”

I stare back at her, shocked, my mouth suddenly dry. How does she know about Elena?

“I-I…”

“Is that how he met you?” She asks, a vindictive ring her her voice now as though she’s caught me in a lie.

“No,” I tell her, a little too sharply. “We met at school. He was my neighbor. Elena Lincoln has nothing to do with us.”

“But you know about her, and what she does for him? That’s why you hate her so much, right? You’re threatened by her. Or maybe that’s why you broke up? Was he cheating on you with them at school or did the brown haired girls come after he started his company?”

Brown haired girls?

“What are you talking about?”

She laughs. “So, you don’t know? Well… you’re in for a rude awakening, Anastasia.”

“Leila, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Haven’t you noticed that nobody working at GEH has brown hair? I thought I was paranoid at first. I mean, I noticed it at my very first interview, probably because I have brown hair and I stuck out like a sore thumb. I didn’t get hired after that interview but I wanted to work at GEH so I applied for a different job. I didn’t get that either. Then my friend Andrea called me and told me Mr. Grey had fired his receptionist. I was going to get the chance to work in his office. He’s the reason I wanted to work at GEH in the first place, just for the chance to look at him. I didn’t want to take any chances so I dyed my hair blonde, like all the others, before the interview and it worked. I was hired.”

“Obviously, his hiring practices were illegal, but what did I care? I had a job in his office. I saw him every morning and after a few weeks, he even knew my name. Then, one day, he had an appointment with Mrs. Lincoln, which I thought was weird because he normally met her outside of the office, but not that day. She showed up exactly on time, but she wasn’t alone. There was a girl with her, a brown haired girl, she wasn’t included in the meeting and Taylor is very particular about who gets in and out of the executive suite so I had to take her name and issue her a guest pass. The meeting lasted about fifteen minutes, and then they left. I didn’t really think much of it until a few weeks later when Mrs. Lincoln showed up with a different girl. Different, but the same, you know? They were all the same, beautiful, obnoxiously skinny, and all of them with dark, brown hair.”

“I thought you were one of them at first, to be honest with you. Especially when you ran out of there at the end of your first day. You see, I think he thinks he’s clever having them brought to his office. He’s never seen with them in public so there’s no chance a paparazzi could snap a picture of him with one of them. Because he wasn’t public with these girls, their names never got into the paper. But I didn’t need them to. I had them, all of them, on the security sign in list. So I started digging and all it took was a quick google search to find out what was going on. They all have websites, you see.”

“Websites?” I ask, my voice shaking.

“They’re call girls,” She says and then frowns. “Well… kind of. They’re… specialized call girls.”

I can feel the involuntary twitch in my upper lip, and she smiles vindictively at me. “You know exactly what I mean by specialized, don’t you? Maybe that is how he met you. You certainly look the type. If it is, you’re better at hiding it. Nothing came up on you but a couple articles you published in the newspaper at Harvard and a few inactive social media pages. So, if you aren’t one of these girls, maybe I should warn you. He’s into some serious shit, Anastasia. The really hard stuff.”

“I may not know about his past, or his family. I may not know what his favorite color is or where he went to high school. But I know him, Anastasia, and I know that he’s not the man that was in that interview last Friday night. He didn’t forget his name staring into your eyes and he didn’t stay up late at night trying to think up ways to talk to you. He’s dark, Anastasia, and if you can’t see that, you’re an idiot.”

“If you so sure what he is,” I spit at her, “Why isn’t that what you told the world? Why lie about him forcing you to have sex with him when you could have destroyed him with what you apparently think is true?”

“I needed the security list and I couldn’t get it. I thought if I came forward, at least one of those girls that came through his office would too. Apparently, he’s paid them well enough to keep their silence.”

“Or they didn’t because there’s nothing to tell. Because there’s nothing for them to come forward and admit to.”

“Whatever you have to tell yourself, Anastasia,” She shrugs. “But I think we both know the truth.”

“I don’t get it, Leila. If you think you’re right and that’s he’s dark and that this is what he’s into, then why do you want him? Why throw yourself at him if all he wants to do is beat you?”

“I would do that for him,” She replies, and I’m a little off put by the undoubtable sincerity in her voice. “I would be anything, give him anything, whatever he wanted. That’s how much I want him, Ana, and I’m not the only one. If you won’t give him what he wants, there are thousands of girls out there who will.”

“Are we done here?” I ask, and she gives me one last tight smile.

“Unfortunately, yes. Turns out I overestimated Andrea and her friendship. I trusted her and she turned me in to Grey, so my lawyer says there’s really nothing else we can do. I asked for a settlement, but at this point there’s no reason for him to offer me one, so my lawyer is just going to drop the charges in the morning. He wins again, the way he always does. He always gets what he wants, Anastasia. Remember that. If you’re going to stick around, I hope you want the same things he does. Otherwise, if I were you, I would run and never look back.”

She walks forward, bumping into me as she passes and stalks back out towards the over packed dance floor behind me. I turn to watch her go but it isn’t long before I lose her in the crowd of people jumping up and down to the music. I hope neither Kate or Luke see her, especially Kate, because I know she’d cause a scene.

“You’re up,” Some girl says behind me, pushing me a little as the next stall in the bathroom opens and I take one more second to examine the crowd, searching for the tight turquoise dress Leila was wearing, but I don’t see her, so I do my best to push her out of my thoughts and head into the bathroom.

It’s not easy not to think about what she said to me though. Actually… it’s impossible. Christian’s reassurances in Montesano had put me at ease. I could accept that, despite everything wrong with his relationship with Elena, there had to have been enough good (at least sexually) for him to justify the things she was doing to him. That fit into the cycle Flynn was always talking about, always using to reassure me that Christian wasn’t taking too many steps backward every time Elena came up and he started to defend her or got angry with me for calling her a child molester. She used sexual pleasure and gratification to hide what she was really doing to him so that when she hurt him, he could hold onto the good and ignore the bad. It stands to reason then that he had to find enjoyment in the actual sex and that’s where the lingering interest in BDSM comes from.

I could accept that. I had even hoped that exploring this type of sex together in a way that was actually safe and that came from a place of love, would open his eyes to what she’d really done to him.

I hadn’t imagined that he’d already explored this type of sex with someone else, someone who wasn’t Elena Lincoln, because he’d told me he hadn’t. As I stare at the words written in different colors of sharpie on the inside of the stall all around me, I think back to what he said to me that first morning after we’d got back together.

Ana, it’s only you. It’s only ever going to be you. You’re the love of my life, how could I ever want anyone else?”

I believed that. I mean, the man called me everyday for two years knowing I wasn’t going to answer the phone. He paid for my school and paid for a personal security officer to keep me safe when he couldn’t… That doesn’t sound like a man who is trying to move on.

He loves me, I know that he loves me.

But even knowing that as absolutely as I do, I can’t deny that I’ve actually heard Elena trying to set him up. The morning of the operations meeting, I heard her in his office.

I met a girl that I think you’d really like. She younger than you are, nineteen, but she’s in the lifestyle and she’s experienced.

He said he wasn’t interested but now I have to wonder if that’s because he was telling me the truth before and he really hadn’t wanted to sleep with anyone else, or if it was because we were back together and he was getting sex from me so he didn’t need these other girls anymore. I want to believe it’s the former, but that would be a lot easier to convince myself was true if what he did with me the other night hadn’t happened…

I’m uncomfortable with the amount of doubt I feel as I step away from the sink and make my way out of the bathroom. It’s palpable enough that I think I might feel the slight sting of tears behind my eyes, which I unconsciously try and wipe away.

“Ana?” Luke asks as I step out of the bathroom, and I look up to see him standing a few feet away from the door, looking at me with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“I ran into Leila…” I tell him and his expression immediately hardens.

“Where is she?” He asks.

I shake my head. “I don’t know. Can we go home?”

“Yeah, actually that’s why I came to find you. I just got off the phone with Mr. Grey and I am supposed to take you back to the apartment.”

“He called you?”

“Yeah…” he hesitates. “He’s not very happy that we’re out and he wants you home immediately. I think I’m fired when he gets back, but you know, what else is new?”

“I’ll talk to him,” I promise, and he frowns, probably because I didn’t laugh at his joke.

“What did she say to you?” He asks.

“You work security, right?” I begin, “You haven’t seen any, uh… girls going in and out of Christian’s office have you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I- you know what, nevermind.”

“Do you think he’s cheating on you?”

“No,” I shake my head quickly and he sighs.

“Come here.”

I step forward and he hugs me close to him, turning to speak directly into my ear so that I can hear him over the music.

“He loves you, Anastasia. Trust me. You didn’t give the guy any hope for almost two years and he still didn’t let go. He’s got you back and believe me, he’s not going to throw that away for anyone or anything. He’s not cheating on you, I promise.”

I nod and he pulls away, wrapping his hand around my arm and pulling me, protectively, through the crowd towards the table where Kate and Leah are waiting.

“We’ve got to go,” He calls to Kate and she nods as she hands me another shot and a lime. I look at it dubiously for a second but eventually think, fuck it, and reach out and slam it back. Luke shakes his head disapprovingly, and then turns to kiss Leah goodbye.

“I’ll call you tomorrow,” He tells her and her mouth falls open with resentful shock.

“What do you mean, where are you going?”

“I have to get the girls back.”

“Uh… they’re adults. I think they can call a cab. Stay with me longer,” She pouts at him, but Luke shakes his head.

“I can’t, I’m working.”

“You’re always working,” She says, her voice hard now as she shoots a quick, angry look towards me.

“You’re right, Leah. I am. This is my job and if you can’t handle it, you need to know it’s not going to change.”

Her mouth tightens into a thin line as he reaches out to help Kate out of the booth. “I’ll call you tomorrow,” He tells her again and then he gently pushes against my lower back so that I walk forward for the door.

There is already a line of taxis waiting outside the club, so Luke grabs the one closest to the door and ushers us into the back seat. Once he gives the driver the address for Escala and we pull onto the street, I turn to him, feeling slightly guilty for his little squabble with Leah.

“She’s right you know… Kate and I could have gotten home on our own. You don’t have to fight with your girlfriend over me, Luke.”

“Stop it, Ana.”

“No, I’m serious…”

“So am I. Look, I’m not just your friend, I’m your bodyguard. That means I have to be around your body to guard it. I knew what this job was and what it meant when I accepted it. I lived in Cambridge for two years, for christ sake. I like my job, Ana. I promise. You don’t have to worry about my personal life.”

“Okay,” I acquiesce as I settle back into the seat.

“So, what did she say to you?” He asks and I look at him confused.

“Leah?”

“No, Leila.”

“Leila?” Kate asks, leaning over to look at me. “You saw Leila?”

“Yeah, she was coming out of the bathroom as I was going in…” I tell her.

“Well, what happened?”

I take a deep breath and recount everything Leila said to me, which takes not only the entire rest of the cab ride home, but also the elevator ride up to the apartment. When we step out in the foyer Luke is shaking his head with disbelief.

“Honestly… I mean, that girl’s got some nerve. She’s about to lose and she’s still talking shit? What the fuck?”

“She’s just trying to hurt you, Ana,” Kate adds. “I mean, think about the source this information is coming from. It’s not like we don’t know that she’s willing to lie.”

“Also, she’s a bitch,” Luke says. “Seriously, fuck her.”

“That’s not helping, Luke,” Kate admonishes him as I collapse onto the couch. She sits next to me, pulling me onto her so that my head is resting on her chest and her arm is wrapped around me, and Luke glares at her.

“No, what’s not helping is letting her feel any kind of hurt or doubt because of something Leila Williams said.”

“It’s not that easy. Look, she and Christian have been through some hard stuff and this kind of thing is little personal. It’s okay for her to be upset.”

“I know what they’ve been through, Kate. I get it.”

“No you don’t. You weren’t there.”

“So, what? That means I couldn’t possibly understand what she went through? You don’t think I feel for her on a very real level for the crap she’s had to endure over the past couple years? You know, Kate, you’re not going to win the best friend argument just because you’ve been around longer.”

“No, I’m going to win the best friend argument because I’m her best friend,” Kate says.

“Okay, guys. Stop,” I tell them firmly, but the silence that falls between them only lasts a few seconds before Luke starts again.

“You know, it’s not like you didn’t move away when you were a kid. You two had spent most of your lives apart before you went to Harvard. You basically have one year on me.”

“I have way more than one year on you,” Kate says, rolling her eyes. “We grew up together and when I did move, I only moved two hours away. We still spent every school vacation together. Not mention all our free time talking on the phone. You’re not going to win.”

“Alright, Ana. Settle it once and for all and just tell Kate that I’m your best friend,” Luke says.

“Why do you want her to lie to you, Luke?” Kate asks. “Look, you may get to hang out with her more that I do, but I’ve been with this girl since birth. I have bracelet from kindergarten that says BFF. Best. Friend. Forever. It’s still forever.”

“So? Ana probably had a different favorite drink before she met tequila. Doesn’t change the fact that tequila is now her favorite.”

“Ana, will you please set him straight?” Kate asks, turning to me.

“Why is this a competition with you?” I ask, looking at them both sternly. “You two are both my best friend.”

“No,” Kate argues. “You can’t have two best friends, that’s not how language works, Miss English Major. Best is a superlative adjective, meaning greater than all the others. There can be only one. Like Highlander.”

“Fine, then… Kate, you’re my best girl friend, and Luke, you’re my best guy friend.”

“Fine,” Luke agrees.

“But who’s your best friend?” Kate asks, pushing me. “Overall.”

I glare at her. “Christian,” I say firmly. “Christian is my best friend.”

Kate’s mouth tightens into a firm line as she glances over at Luke and then back at me. “Damn him and his penis. Sex is such an unfair advantage.”

“Alright,” Luke says, rolling his eyes. “You girls have a good night. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You know that means Christian is actually her best guy friend too!” Kate calls after him and he holds up his middle finger at her over his shoulder as he continues into the foyer and disappears from view. She looks after him with a smug, self-satisfied smirk and then turns back to me.

“Really though, are you okay?” She asks.

“Yeah, but…” I stop, not sure if I want to tell her why what Leila said to me is affecting me so much.

“But what?”

I glance at her uncertainly, trying to decide if I think she can be trusted with what I want to tell her, or if Christian is going to get a call from Elliot about it later.

“Okay. I want to tell you something. But I’m telling you as my best friend, not as someone looking for a story and not as Elliot’s girlfriend. You can’t say anything to anyone, and I mean anyone.” I tell her seriously.

“You mean, you need to tell me something in confidence because I’m your best friend and try as he may Luke Sawyer could never take that place?”

I roll my eyes.

“Yes, Kate,” I say flatly and she lights up.

“Great, what can I do for you?”

“I’m a little freaked out by what Leila said,” I admit, and she gives me a sympathetic smile.

“I thought you said Christian told you that he hadn’t slept anyone while you were broken up?”

“He said that…” I reply hesitantly.

“But you don’t believe him?”

I take a deep breath and look Kate in the eye as I continue. “I just… I know he’s still into it.”

“Into what?”

“The uh… kinky things that he was into before we started dating.”

She narrows her eyes at me. “You mean like… the things he did with Elena?”

“Yeah,” I reply, breaking eye contact with her as that is the one part of this I don’t like to focus on. Thinking about him with Elena, especially doing some of the the things to me that he may have done to her, or worse that she did to him, makes me extremely uncomfortable.

“Okay… ” She says hesitantly, encouraging me to continue.

“So, the other night when we were in Montesano, Christian and I had a few drinks and then we had sex. I didn’t really think much about it as it was happening because Christian isn’t usually what I would describe as gentle when we have sex. I mean, don’t get me wrong. He’s made love to me and it’s sweet, and caring, and amazing, but he usually, you know, if we’re just having sex, he’s… rough.”

“Oh my god,” Kate says, holding up her hands to stop me. “Do I need to be prepared for some serious shit? Because, I swear to god, Ana, if he hurt, you…”

“No, he didn’t hurt me, Kate,” I say to assuage her and she relaxes and then takes a deep, calming breath before nodding for me to continue.

“Well, the other night. He, uh, pushed me a little farther than he has before…” I say awkwardly, almost wondering now if it was a mistake to bring this up.

“What do you mean, he pushed you?” She asks.

“He tied me up,” I say, feeling my cheeks pink. “He, uh… he restrained me and he blindfolded me, and he um… he spanked me.”

“So, are you worried that because he did those things to you he’s done them to someone else?”

“I just worry that what happened between us last weekend kind of confirms her story a little…”

She stares at me for a minute and I sit back and wait for her to speak, wait for some kind of reassurance that I’m being crazy and that just because he’s expressed an interest in BDSM sex again doesn’t mean that he’s been secretly fucking a slew of submissives personally picked for him by Elena Bitch Troll Lincoln.

“I don’t know what to say, Ana,” Kate says eventually. “Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t. Personally, knowing how he feels about you and after seeing what he was like when you two weren’t together, I don’t believe it. But it doesn’t matter what I believe, it matters what you believe and what you can live with. I think Luke is right and you should really consider the source of this information. Leila is trying to hurt you. She didn’t get her way with the allegations she made against Christian and so she’s lashing out at you.”

“Really?”

“Really. Ana, he loves you, and I mean, he really, really loves you. I think when you were gone his sole focus was GEH and not a bunch of random hook-ups. You couldn’t sleep with anyone else, I don’t think he could either.”

I smile gratefully at her. “You’re sure not just saying this because Christian said that he wants to marry me and you have hope again that we’ll be sisters one day?”

“Partially,” She says with a laugh. “And partially because I want to move past the sad part so you can tell me about the drunk, kinky sex you had.” She lifts her hands in a gesture for me to continue and I laugh and shake my head at her.

“Oh come on, Ana! You can’t drop we had BDSM sex on me and then stop. Give me the deets!”

“What do you want me to give you a blow by blow?” I ask and she shakes her head.

“No, you can spare me the gory details…” She says, “I just want to know, I mean, was it good?”

I bite down on my lip, feeling my cheeks heat with my blush, and nod. “It was… incredible.”

“Incredible?”

“I came three times.”

“What! Jesus Christ, Ana, what are you worried about?” She laughs and I feel a welcome wave of relief cross over me. As I think back over that night and how amazing it really was, I don’t know why I’m so ready to turn it into something bad. Christian and I talked about it, and he was open and honest with me about what he wanted and what he liked. This is a huge step for us and I’m taking this moment of his vulnerability with me and trying to turn it into something negative. Because of what? Something Leila said? She’s proved to me that she’s a liar, that she’s trying to hurt me. Why would I believe her over Christian?

Apparently, even though I’ve accepted his apology for what happened before and I’ve forgiven him, I’m still struggling with some trust issues. That needs to be addressed. I resolve then that I’m going to make an appointment with Flynn in the morning to talk more about this, and in the meantime, I think I’m going to double down on what I said to Christian last weekend. I want him to know that can open up to me. That Elena isn’t the only one who can accept him for who he is and what he wants.

“Kate…” I begin hesitantly and she looks up from her phone at me with interest. “You know how next week is Christian’s birthday?”

“Yeah.”

“I think I know what I want to get for him but I don’t really know where to start. If this is crossing the line of best friend duties, you can say no… but since Christian is going to be gone for the next few days, I think it might be a good opportunity to pick up some things…”

“Like what?” She asks and I give her a you-know-what look. “Oh…” She says, as she realizes what I’m asking. “You want me to go with you to help you pick out sex toys?”

“If you’re comfortable with that… I really don’t know what I’m doing and I would feel better not going by myself.”

“Awh, Ana,” Kate says sentimentally. “I’m honored and as your best friend, I accept. I’d be delighted to help you pick out your very first pair of handcuffs.”

“Thanks, Kate,” I say with a small laugh and then I get up off the couch. “Now, I’m going to bed before I can humiliate myself any further.”

“Alright,” Kate agrees, and she too gets up but she looks dubiously over at the stairs. “The guest rooms are all upstairs, right?”

“Yes.”

“There isn’t one down here, closer to you?”

I give her a pointed look. “Kate, do you want to sleep with me tonight?” I ask.

“Yes,” She says, relieved, and I roll my eyes as I grasp her hand and drag her back towards mine and Christian’s bedroom with me.

Next Chapter

Chapter 22

Image result for lakeside bbq

When I wake up Sunday morning, the first thing I’m aware of is the soreness between my legs. I haven’t even moved and I can already feel the dull ache, but there’s a deep rooted sense of satisfaction in it. It immediately brings back memories from the night before. He was different last night. I’m used to rough sex with Christian but last night was more than that, and as I replay everything he did to me, I actually find myself having to evaluate my feelings on what happened.

He tied me up. That wasn’t so bad… Actually, I think it was kind of… hot. He didn’t use the fact that I couldn’t move to force me to do something I didn’t like or hurt me. He checked on me and made sure I was okay with what he was doing to me and then he got me off. Multiple times.

Tying me up was good.

He spanked me. More than that, he punished me. He was trying to control my body and when I didn’t do what he asked… he spanked me.

That I’m not sure about.

Okay, he didn’t hurt me. I think he could have. Actually, I think that’s normally the point, but he didn’t. In fact, I kind of liked it. Especially when he hit me… there. I’m not sure I like the punishment aspect of what he did, but… actually, I’m not sure about that either. It’s kinky and dirty and part of me liked him taking control of me. I didn’t really expect that…

Holy shit, am I into this?

I bite down on my lip nervously as I think about my third, mind-blowing, orgasm and what he said to me right before I fell off the edge.

I want you to call me Master.

Okay, maybe this I have an issue with. Tying me up, great. Spanking me, fine. But the Master thing isn’t just kinky sex… that’s crossing the line into BDSM.

I think.

Honestly, I don’t know. I don’t know anything about BDSM, well except for what he’s told me about his past with Elena, and that I don’t want.

I know that he’s told me that part of him has always wanted to be a dominant, but I’ve told him before, I don’t want to be his submissive. I like him taking control in bed, but that’s where it ends. The BDSM stuff, that goes outside of the bedroom. Doesn’t it? I mean, with Elena, Christian had rules about who he could talk to, how many rings he had to answer the phone, what he could do with his free time… I don’t want that. I need to know if that’s what Master meant to him, because if it did…

No.

No I don’t believe that’s what it meant. Christian loves me. What Elena did to him, what they had together, wasn’t love. Honestly, I don’t even know enough about it to know if it was truly BDSM or just more of her abuse, and frankly, based on past experience, I think I should err on the side of abuse…

I need to talk to him. We need to talk about what happened.

I open my eyes and roll over, thinking I can ease into this conversation by waking him with a kiss. When I look at the warm thing cuddled up next to me though, I see that it’s not Christian, it’s just a pillow. He’s not here.

Pulling the covers back, I quickly hop out of bed, picking up his t-shirt to throw on before I remember that’s what he used to wipe me down after he uh… marked me last night, and as I think about that, I have to admit that, that was kinda hot too…

Ugh… what’s the matter with me?

I pull a different, clean t-shirt out of his suitcase and then walk down the hallway in search of Christian. I find him pacing in the kitchen, talking on his phone.

“What do we need to do to get it done on time?” He asks whoever it is that he’s talking to. He sounds irritated. “Do it then. I don’t care what it costs, just get it done.”

He turns around and sees me standing in the doorway and his expression shifts.

“I need to call you back,” He says, and then he pulls the phone away from his ear and hangs up.

“How long have you been awake?” I ask.

“Just an hour or so… Something came up with the state deal, I had to take care of it,” He explains. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore,” I say, “But in the good kind of way.”

“Are you… Okay?” He asks, hesitantly.

“Yeah. I think so, but I have some questions,” I tell him. He nods, takes me by the hand, and leads me to the couch in the living room. When we sit down, I can tell by the way he stares at me that he’s nervous, but that I have his full attention.

“So… where did that come from?” I ask.

“I don’t know…” He says. “I mean, I’ve wanted to do some of those things to you for awhile, but I don’t know why I chose last night to do them. It just kind of escalated. I was just going to tie you up. I wanted to see you like that, know what you looked like when you came and couldn’t move. I liked it. I liked going down on you, pushing you past your orgasm and knowing you couldn’t push me away. It was hot. So I took it a step further. I blindfolded you because I wanted you to feel everything I was doing to you. When you take one sense away, the others become sharper. I wanted you to really feel me fucking you.”

“Then why didn’t you want me to come?” I ask.

“Because if you can control it, hold it off, it’s so much more intense. I was watching you while you came in my mouth. You were magnificent. So… uninhibited. Liberated. I love seeing you like that, Anastasia. You’re never more beautiful. I’m greedy, and even as I watched you coming down, I knew that I wanted more. I wanted to push you farther, I wanted to make you come harder than I ever had before. I wanted to know, to see, to feel what that was like. So I wanted to bring you to the edge and hold you there for as long as possible, keep you building, until I finally let you go. I wanted to control that.”

“So, why did you let me come then? You said yourself you could have stopped me. Did you want to punish me for not doing what you told me to?”

“I’m not immune to you, Anastasia. I don’t have perfect control. I felt it when you started getting close and I knew you weren’t going to be able to stop it, but in that moment… You were hot, and wet, and tight around me. I couldn’t have stopped for anything in the world.”

“But you punished me…”

“Yes,” He says, guilty now. “I wanted to spank you. I wasn’t trying to hurt you, I didn’t want to hurt you. I’ve tried it with you before and you liked it. I also like it. I enjoy rough sex, Anastasia. I like being rough with you. I like pulling your hair and digging my fingers into you while I fuck you as hard as I can… and I like spanking you. It turns me on to watch your skin pink beneath my hands. It turns me on to see my handprint on your ass. I wanted to spank you, and so I did. If you didn’t like it, then I’m sorry. I won’t do it again.”

I know most of this. I’m okay with rough sex. I’m okay with hair pulling. I’m okay with spanking. I take a deep breath and ask the question that will tell me if I’m okay with exactly how far he took that rough sex last night.

“Why did you tell me to call you Master?” I ask. He looks away from me, staring down at my fingers fiddling anxiously with the hem of his t-shirt while he finds the words to answer.

“I like dominating you, Anastasia,” He says. “Having you like that, feeling you succumb to me and whatever I want to do to you, knowing that I have control over your pleasure, knowing that everything you feel is planned. and deliberate, and all mine… I’ve fantasized about that for years. But it’s just a fantasy, a role play. I wanted to dominate you in bed, to know what it felt like to have you at my mercy. I liked it. I liked it a lot. Master is a mindset, an acknowledgement from you that I owned your body in that moment. I was about to come, it just came out, and when you said it… I liked it, Anastasia. If that’s too much for you, then… I’m sorry. I should have, I don’t know, warned you, talked to you about it… but this is me. This is what I’m into and if you’re not then, you’re not. I can accept that. Last night doesn’t have to happen again.”

“Okay, but how far does that fantasy go?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you want me to be your submissive?”

He pauses again, carefully considering his words before he speaks. “Sometimes,” He admits. “I love you, Anastasia, and I love making love with you. I don’t want to give that up. But, sometimes… yes. Sometimes I would like you to be submissive to me when we have sex.”

“Just when we have sex?” I ask and his brow furrows for a moment until his eyes widen with sudden understanding.

“Ana, I don’t want you to be MY submissive,” He says. “You’re my girlfriend, you’re the love of my life. That kind of relationship is… It’s just… I don’t want that for you.”

“For me?”

With you,” He corrects himself. “I don’t want that kind of relationship with you.”

“Why?” I ask him and he gives me a confused look in response.

“Because you’re more than that to me. You’re my everything, Anastasia. I don’t want to change what we have together, I wouldn’t give that up for the world.”

“So, just when we have sex?” I clarify once more and he nods.

“Sometimes,” He adds. “And only if you want to.”

“Okay,” I acquiesce, and he looks shocked.

“Okay?”

“Yes, okay,” I repeat. “I enjoyed last night, Christian. In fact, I really enjoyed last night. So, if that’s your fantasy, then I’m willing to do that with you. But I want you to do one thing for me.”

“What?”

“The next time you go and see Flynn, I want you to talk to him about why you don’t want the life of a submissive for me.”

“Why?”

I shake my head. “I just want you to talk to Flynn about it. Promise me.”

“Okay…” He says, still looking confused, and I nod and get up off the couch.

“Well, then let’s get packing. I have a lot of reading to catch up on and this place doesn’t seem to be conducive to that.”

It doesn’t take us long to have everything packed and the house locked down again. I double check that I’ve turned off the gas and the water as Christian carries our bags out to the car, then deadbolt the back door and follow out after him. A sad kind of nostalgia crosses over me when Christian turns back onto the Olympic highway towards Seattle that is very similar to what I felt when Ray and I left home three years ago. I turn to watch my too-small-for-big-dreams hometown shrink in the distance through the back window of the Lincoln until I can’t see it anymore. When I eventually sigh and turn around again, my phone buzzes in my pocket.


Google Alert: Christian Grey

The Seattle Weekly, June 6th 2010: A Portrait of Christian Grey. There has been a lot that has been said about Christian Grey. The success of his business, his philanthropic endeavors, his age, even his face have been tabloid fodder since the doors of GEH were opened in 2008. But that’s not the Christian Grey I know…


“Kate’s article came out early,” I gasp once I click on the Google Alert and see her name and picture at the top of the page. “She’s in the Sunday issue.”

“What?” Christian asks, and I scroll to the beginning of the article and begin to read aloud.

A Portrait of Christian Grey

There has been a lot that has been said about Christian Grey. The success of his business, his philanthropic endeavors, his age, even his face have all been tabloid fodder since the doors of GEH opened in 2008. But that’s not the Christian Grey I know.

I met Christian Grey my first week as a freshman at Harvard University. He lived just across the hall from my dormitory and on the day I moved in, I watched him coming back from rowing practice, look over at me watching him from my room, and then close the door in my face. My first impression of Christian was that he was arrogant and kind of douche bag. But I didn’t know him. Back then there weren’t paparazzi that followed him everywhere he went, no one cared to know who made his custom designed three piece suits or what car he was driving. Back then he was just the guy on the third floor who was lucky enough to have a room all to himself, who was weirdly private, but who all the girls agreed was ridiculously hot.

And then he fell in love with my best friend and roommate, Anastasia Steele.

Watching the two of them together was like watching two people discover their true selves. Christian looked at Ana (and still does) with such devotion and captivation that one would assume he’d never seen a woman before. They did everything together, went everywhere together, he even brought her home to spend holidays and vacations with his family because her Dad is a soldier and currently serving in Iraq. No one could doubt the depth of their feelings for one another, and as I saw who he was with Anastasia, I got to know the real Christian Grey.

He’s absurdly caring, generous, only funny when he doesn’t mean to be, obnoxiously good at everything he does, smart, ambitious, stubborn, and above all else, extremely protective. In January 2008, Anastasia was attacked in our dorm room by a man named Dylan Abernathy. He had been following me around campus for months, stealing personal items of mine, even keeping a log of my schedule and the things that I was wearing every day. He had broken into our dorm that morning to take more things from me and Anastasia was unlucky enough to come home alone while he was there. Mr. Abernathy got away that day, but Christian no longer felt comfortable having his girlfriend in that room while my stalker was still at large. So he moved both me and Anastasia into his room with him. He allowed me, the girl who had caused plenty of problems for him with his girlfriend and who often hadn’t been on his side, to live with him for three weeks. He walked me to every one of my classes, he was with me every morning in the gym, he even escorted me down to the drugstore to buy tampons and stood in the hot, stuffy laundry room with me while I washed my clothes.

On Valentine’s Day that year, Mr. Abernathy once again entered our dormitory building, but on that occasion, he brought a gun with him. That night he murdered six people in an attempt to end my life, and when he got into my room, Christian risked his own life to stop him. That is the single most terrifying moment of my life and I made it through because of Christian Grey.

That’s how I know that he never pressed himself upon Leila Williams. Christian Grey is not a man who tolerates violence against women. He is not a man who would ever consider using his position of authority to take advantage of a young woman, sexually or otherwise. He’s in love with a girl who he met three years ago and from years of friendship, I know that that has never changed. Anyone who really knows him will tell you that there is only one woman for Christian Grey, and she’s a Harvard student, who has an affinity for black and white movies and Twining’s English Breakfast Tea. I know Christian Grey never had any kind of sexual relationship with any of these women, because he is in love with Anastasia Steele, and I know what that means to him.

Katherine Kavanagh

Investigative Journalist, Kavanagh Media.

 

“Awh, Kate,” I say, glancing over the article once more.

“Tampons,” Christian scoffs. “She had to throw that one in there. One trip to the drug store and I’m never going to live it down.”

“It shows how much you cared,” I reply. “She’s trying to paint a picture, Christian.”

“Well… I can’t hire her too,” He says, joking now. “After both you and Elliot, I think I’ve filled my nepotism quota.”

I laugh. “I don’t think she’s looking for a job. Although, with all the trouble you seem to get into in the press, it might not be bad idea for you to acquire your own media subsidiary.”

“Why do you think I bought a publishing company?” He asks with an amused smile. “You have a printing press, right? Get to work, Steele. We’re in the middle of a PR crisis.”

I laugh and slip my phone back into my pocket as Christian reaches over for the radio, forcing me to listen Iron and Wine and AWOLNATION before we finally compromise on Coldplay.

Once we’re back in Seattle, Christian and I spend the afternoon locked away in our respective home offices. I’m pleased that I’m actually able to get through the first few chapters of each of the manuscripts I’ve brought home with me and I place them back in their folders along with the diligent notes I’ve kept. I’m starting to notice a pattern in the success each novel seems to be having, and I think it has a lot to do with the person representing each book. Not that any one of them isn’t capable of doing well. In fact, each of the agents currently employed under SIP has had at least one marginally successful author. I think the problem lies in who is tackling which project, there seems to be a correlation of interest in the genre and the success of the book. I think if I limit the agents to working within the genres that interest them rather than continue this weird rotating cycle they have going on, we’ll see better results across the board.

I’m just finishing up the list of actionable items I’ve written down to take with me into the office tomorrow when Christian sticks his head through the door.

“Are you at a stopping point?” He asks.

“Sure, why?”

“I was thinking we could go over to my parents for dinner. My mom texted me yesterday and asked if we would join them. It’s just about dinner time.”

“Yeah, let’s go.” I close the book in front of me and power down my laptop before walking around my desk and taking his hand.

Kate’s car is already in the driveway when we get to the Greys’ house, but other than that there isn’t any sign that anyone is home. We knock on the door and wait for several minutes but no one ever comes to answer. Christian peaks through the windows next to the door, looking for any sign of movement inside, before eventually reaching down for the door handle and just letting himself inside.

When we walk through the entrance hall and into the living room, we find the house completely empty.

“Where is everyone?” Christian wonders, staring at the empty room with confusion. “My mom invited us over…”

“Maybe we should have called first?” I suggest. Christian turns to walk towards the kitchen but before his hand even falls out of mine, we hear a scream float through the glass in the back door. Christian looks anxiously at me and we both run for the backyard. When we make it to the patio, we find Elliot, Kate, Mia, and Grace snapping beans on the back patio table and Carrick standing over a smoking bbq grill.

“Elliot!” Kate says, brushing water that looks as though it spilled out of the cup tipped over on the table off of her legs. “It’s so cold, you’re such a jerk.”

“It was an accident!” He says defensively, but he’s laughing so hard he seems to be having difficulty getting out the words.

“Keep laughing, and I’ll accidentally drown you in the pool,” Kate says, throwing a green bean at him.

“Don’t waste the food,” Mia says indignantly, looking at Kate, and she shrugs as she takes her seat again. Christian grabs my hand and leads me to the table.

“Hey,” He says and everyone looks in our direction.

“Christian!” Grace says, with delighted surprise. “Ana! What are you doing here?”

“We thought we’d join you for dinner,” He says, “If you’ll have us.”

“Of course!” Grace replies. “Have a seat, grab some beans.”

Christian pulls a chair out for me and then takes the seat in between Mia and I. We both reach into the oversized mixing bowl full of green beans and as we carefully snap off the ends, Christian looks over at his little sister, who seems to be purposefully avoiding eye contact with him.

“How’s it going, kid?” He asks, nudging her slightly with his elbow. She takes a deep breath and then gives Christian a tight lipped smile.

“Peachy,” She says shortly and then turns back to her work. I watch Christian glance uneasily at his mother but after she gives him a reassuring nod, he tries again.

“I’m going to New York tomorrow,” He tells her.

“Is that so?” She replies, uninterested.

“Yeah, and I was thinking that if you’re not doing anything for the next couple days, maybe you could come with me. I have a private jet reserved and I could get tickets to the ballet or maybe a Broadway show. You could bring a friend if you wanted to.”

Mia’s hands freeze, and then she drops her handful of beans and turns her cold glare on Christian. “That sounds great, Christian. Except that I can’t go to New York with you, I have a job now. Which you should know all about.”

“Mia…” Christian begins diplomatically, but she cuts him off by standing abruptly from the table.

“Have fun in New York, Christian,” She says and then she disappears into the house. Kate, Elliot, and I each stare silently down at the beans we’re trying to keep occupied with while Christian gapes after his sister, looking lost, and Grace lets out a long, drawn out sigh.

“I can’t wait until I no longer have any teenagers,” She says, picking up some beans for herself.

“Should I go talk to her?” Christian asks, but Grace shakes her head.

“Don’t give her the attention. She’ll come around.”

“You shouldn’t let her get away with that,” Carrick says, coming up behind Grace, taking a bean out of the bowl and biting the end off of it. “She shouldn’t be allowed to talk to people that way.”

“It’s a phase. Both Christian and Elliot went through it too,” Grace says. “I’ll talk to her once I’m finished here.”

“Well, I’m finished,” Elliot says, tossing the last bean from his small pile into the bowl and then getting out of his chair. “This is woman’s work anyway. Come on, Christian, there’s cold beer in the fridge and a Mariners game about to come on TV.”

“Woman’s work?” Kate asks, clearly taking offense to his choice of words, but Elliot just gives her an innocent smile.

“I just mean that you’re so much more detail oriented and capable,” He says and Kate rolls her eyes.

“Get out of here before I snap you,” She says and Elliot laughs and kisses her on the forehead.

“I love you, baby,” He says and he picks up the beer sitting in front of him and walks for the backdoor, stopping before he steps inside to wait for Christian.

“You okay here?” Christian asks, and when I nod, he gets up and follows Elliot into the house.

Once we’re done with the beans, Grace, Kate, and I head for the kitchen to start putting together some side dishes. Kate asks about my weekend, which I recount with only the most basic details, though I do give her a covert look to let her know there is something we need to talk about later.

“Oh, and would you mind staying at the apartment with me this week?” I ask as Carrick comes into the kitchen with a dish full of meat from the grill in his hands. “Christian is going to be out of town and I don’t think he’s comfortable with me being there alone with Luke.”

“Sure,” Kate agrees. “It’ll cut probably 45 minutes out of my commute not having to fight traffic to get into Seattle in the morning.”

As she pulls plates down from the cabinet, I walk into the living room to let Christian and Elliot know that dinner is ready. They’re both so engrossed in the game the neither of them pays any attention to me and just as I reach town to twist my fingers into Christian’s hair to get his attention, the doorbell rings.

“Elliot get the door,” Grace calls from the kitchen, but Elliot doesn’t take his eyes off the TV.

“Can’t do it,” He yells back. “Bases loaded. Griffey just stepped up to the plate.”

“Elliot Grey!” Grace says disappointedly. I playfully slap Elliot across the back of the head and then turn towards the entrance hall.

“I’ll get it, Grace,” I call towards the kitchen, smiling to myself when I hear Christian’s and Elliot’s synchronized intake of breath and then groan of disappointment at whatever has happened in the game on the TV behind me. When I pull back the heavy front door, part of me expects to find someone selling something door to door or maybe a FedEx delivery, but to my surprise, it’s Andrea. We look at each other blankly for a minute and I can tell by her reaction that she’s just as shocked to see me here as I am to see her.

“Ana…” She says. “I-I thought you and Mr. Grey went out of town this weekend?”

“We did, we just got back this morning. We’re having a family dinner. What are you doing here?”

“I, uh… I came to see Mr. Grey.”

My brow crinkles with confusion as she just said she thought we were out of town, but I nod and turn to call back into the house.

“Christian!”

“No…” Andrea says, holding her hands out to stop me. “I meant the other, Mr. Grey.”

“Carrick?” I ask.

“Yeah, baby?” Christian asks as he appears in the entrance hall behind me, but his look of mild curiosity intensifies when he sees his assistant standing on his parents’ doorstep.

“Andrea? What are you doing here?” He asks.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your dinner, Mr. Grey. I can come back if you-“

“What is it, Andrea?” He asks.

“I-um… I wanted to talk to your dad. I can prove that Leila is lying,” She says and the confusion on Christian’s face disappears as his expression goes blank.

“Come in,” He says flatly and Andrea gives us both a small smile and a nod as she steps through the entryway. We lead her back into the kitchen where Grace is tossing a salad and Carrick is taking his grilled kabobs out of the rubber container he used to bring them into the house and placing them artfully on a serving plate.

“Hey, you kids hungry?” Carrick says happily. “This is some of my finest work, if I do say so myself.”

“Dad,” Christian says, and the lack of good natured inflection in his tone catches Carrick’s attention. He turns around to look wearily at his son.

“What?”

“This is my assistant, Andrea Parker. She says she can prove Leila is lying about the sexual harassment.”

“Come with me,” Carrick says, quickly taking off his I Turn Grills On apron and leading us all back to his office. He closes the door behind him and asks Andrea to take a seat. I hover by the door as Carrick takes the chair next to her and Christian leans against his father’s desk.

“Tell me what happened,” Carrick says, picking up a notepad and staring purposefully at her.

“She texted me this afternoon,” Andrea says, and Carrick’s eyes widen.

“Show me,” He says.

Andrea reaches into her purse and pulls out her phone. I find myself moving across the room with interest and stand behind Carrick so that once she pulls open her text messages and hands the phone to him, I can read the conversation over his shoulder.

   text1 

tet4

text2

text5

text3

“Is this a company phone?” Carrick asks, when he’s finished reading the text conversation.

“No, this is my personal cell phone,” Andrea says.

“Then I’m going to need you to sign a waiver,” Carrick says. He gets up and goes to his filing cabinet, thumbing through a long line of files until he finds the document he needs and then he hands it to Andrea. “I’m going to need copies of your text messages and your phone records. You’ll need to sign this release form to give your consent for these text messages to be used as evidence.”

“Am I going to have to testify?” Andrea asks, nervously.

“No, we’re not actually going to court. We have her admitting she lied in writing, we just need to prove without a doubt that she sent these messages and once her lawyer knows what we have, she’ll drop the charges. This is everything we needed, Andrea. Thank-you.”

“What do you mean, we’re not going to court?” Christian interjects.

“Trust me, son. Having the charges dropped is better than dragging this scandal out and dealing with the court system. The longer your company name is associated with this suit, the more damage it has the potential to do.”

“No,” Christian says, shaking his head. “No, I want damages. I want punitive damages. I want her to be an example to anyone who thinks they can fuck with me or my company. I want you to put her through the ringer, Dad.”

“Christian…” Carrick says hesitantly. “She’s a twenty three year old girl with no money and no job. You’re not going to get anything out of her and dragging her through the court system is just going to keep your name in the papers and in the news. It’s a lose-lose.”

He grimaces, clearly not pleased by the answer, but after a few moments pause he nods. “How long until this is taken care of, then?”

“That depends on Andrea,” Carrick says.

“Me?” Andrea asks, looking between Carrick and Christian with confusion.

“We have to prove that she sent the texts. That no one stole her phone or is communicating on her behalf.”

“So what do you need me to do?” Andrea asks.

“Text her back,” Carrick tells her. “Ask her to meet you somewhere to talk, somewhere public with security cameras. When she shows up, we’ll be able to prove she’s getting the texts.”

Andrea nods and immediately begins typing on her phone. We stare at her nervously until her phone buzzes with a response.

“She’s on her way,” Andrea says, picking up her purse. “What do I tell her?”

“Nothing. Just listen to her, don’t promise her anything, don’t mention anything about coming here or talking to either myself or Christian. Let her talk and when she’s finished, tell her you’re not interested and then leave.”

“Okay,” Andrea nods and then turns to Christian. “Dr. Gilpin-Faust has confirmed the meeting you requested for Wednesday morning, Mr. Grey. I’ve requested to have your flight redirected and will forward the new itinerary to you and Miss Bailey as soon as I have confirmation.”

“Thank-you, Andrea,” Christian says. “And… thank you for coming over here tonight.”

“Of course, sir. Have a safe trip. I’ll see you on Thursday.”

Christian nods and she hurries out of the room. I decide to leave Carrick and Christian to handle whatever they have to do with this new development in the case, partly because I know Grace, Kate, and Elliot are in the living room dying to know what’s going on, but also as a polite way to decline Carrick’s offer for a glass of the vintage 1955 scotch he keeps in a decanter on his desk. When I get back out into the living room, Grace and Kate are sitting anxiously on the edge of the sofa waiting, but Elliot is too engrossed in the baseball game to seem like he cares much.

“What happened?” Kate asks, the second I come around the corner and into view.

“They have text messages from Leila proving that she’s lying,” I tell them. “Carrick thinks he can get the charges being brought against Christian dropped.”

“Oh thank god,” Grace says. “This whole thing has made me so sick with worry.”

“But if the charges are just dropped, how does this get resolved in the media?” Kate asks. “Isn’t the whole point of this to clear his name, to clear your name?”

“I-I..” I stutter. I hadn’t thought of this. I guess I just assumed when the charges got dropped, there wouldn’t be anything else to report on and it would all go away. I hadn’t thought about the fact that without a public trial and a definitive verdict of not-guilty, the rumors about Christian will never be put to rest.

Kate gets up off the couch and begins walking hurriedly for Carrick’s office but as I turn to watch her leave, Grace holds her hands out for mine and then pulls me into a tight hug.

“I don’t want you to worry about this, Anastasia,” She says. “Carrick knows what he’s doing. He’ll protect his son, I know he will.”

I nod and then allow her to lead me back to the couch where I sit next to Elliot. Grace brings plates of food to Christian and Carrick, and then Elliot and I, and I spend the rest of the night occupying my mind by attempting to ruin the game for Elliot by asking too many questions. By the time Christian’s ready to go home, it’s the bottom of the ninth inning and Elliot’s about ready to strangle me as I continually pull his attention away from the screen.

When we get back to Escala, I’m ready for bed. I know I should feel relieved, happy even that it seems like this Leila thing is going to be taken care of, wrapped up with a nice little bow of irrefutable evidence… But there was another time I thought we had a court case in the bag. I allowed myself to feel safe last time and that didn’t work out great for me. So, now my mind is racing through every possibility, both realistic and wildly impossible, of everything that could go wrong. It’s exhausting and I hope this isn’t what Carrick is going through, or what he went through last time. I feel like I’m going to go crazy.

“Are you tired?” Christian asks.

“A little,” I say flatly, and he gives me the kind of amused smile a parent gives a child when they’re clearly fighting sleep but insist they don’t want to go to bed.

“I just need to go confirm my itinerary for tomorrow,” Christian says gently as we walk into the living room. “Go get in bed, I’ll be there in a minute.”

He leans over to kiss my hair and then disappears down the hallway towards his office. I take a deep breath to try and relax and push away some of the stress and overpowering worry, and then shuffle off for our bedroom. There is a small suitcase waiting next to the door along with three suit bags laid over the back of chair next to it, and I purse my lips together as they remind me of Christian’s impending departure. At least Kate agreed to come and stay with me… Christian is right, this apartment is so big and separated from everything that being alone here for three days would be extremely lonely.

I don’t have the energy to change into pajamas so I simply strip out of my clothes and my bra and climb into bed. I lie there with my eyes closed, trying to shut my brain down and find some sleep, but it’s no use. The imagined scenarios of Leila somehow besting Carrick refuse to be quiet and as the image of her sitting on a witness stand crosses my mind, it morphs into memories of the trial. The emotionless look on Christian’s face as he answered the prosecutor’s questions with lies and Elena’s smug expression, smirking at me from across the room. Her perfect plan falling into place, her perfect submissive doing exactly as she asked.

I feel Christian climb into bed next to me and he lets out a low, approving moan as his arms wrap around me and he realizes I’m naked. He pushes himself flush against me and then reaches over to turn my face around so that he can kiss me. I don’t pull away, but I don’t push the kiss any further than he does. When his hand moves away from my face though and slides its way down to my breast, I break the kiss and look up at him uneasily.

“I’m tired…” I tell him. “I don’t know if I’m up for any kinky fuckery right now.”

He frowns. “Me either. I’m leaving in the morning and I won’t see you for a few days. I don’t want to fuck you right now, Ana. I want to make love to you.”

My expression softens and he leans down to kiss me again. His hand moves down, past my breast and over my stomach, until his fingers slip beneath the band of my panties and make contact with my clitoris. He teases me, softly, trying to heighten my arousal so that I’m prepared for him and I try and focus on what he’s doing, but I’m still too distracted by everything that happened at the Greys’ tonight. He isn’t deterred, though, by the lack of success his fingers seem to be having getting me wet.

He shifts me slightly and I lift my behind off the bed so that he can pull my panties off of me. He tosses them off the bed and then kisses me once more before he disappears under the covers. I breathe in sharply when I feel his tongue make contact and then move over my center until his lips encircle my clitoris and he sucks gently. His mouth moves slowly, carefully. There is a tenderness in the way his tongue caresses me. He’s making love to me with his mouth and for a brief moment, I can lose myself in it. I reach down to run my fingers through his hair, pulling the blanket down around his head so I can watch what he’s doing to me.

“There you go, baby,” He says softly when, finally, I’m wet for him. He pulls his mouth away, and stares down at me, gently touching me and stroking my lips with his fingers, but as I fall back into my pillow and can no longer watch him, my mind is commandeered by my previous concerns. I take a deep breath and do everything I can to block out everything but Christian.

Focus, Ana.

“Do you want me to make you come like this first?” He asks as he lowers his mouth onto me again.

“No,” I whisper. “I’m ready.”

He nuzzles me once more and then moves back up to take my lips with his. I hold his face, concentrating very hard on his lips against mine as he reaches down to position himself at my entrance. He pauses for just a moment, pulls his lips away from mine and looks down at me with a look so full of devotion and wonder, I find myself taken slightly aback.

“I love you, Anastasia Steele,” He says, and then he kisses me again and thrusts inside of me. I gasp, welcoming the fullness, and then wrap my body around his, holding myself tightly against him as I feel him pull away and then inch his way forward again.

He stares into my eyes as he moves in and out of me. Slow. Sensual. Controlled. He moans and then lowers his lips to mine, his tongue invading my mouth and claiming me. I push myself into the kiss, try to focus on his movements, in and out, in and out, but I’m all over the place. One moment I’m lost in him and this physical expression of our love, and the next I’m distracted by the sudden need to pull out my phone or laptop and google past court cases where text messages had been used as evidence. I mean… how solid could a text be? There’s no voice or picture or even handwriting associated with it. Will security footage that won’t match a time displayed on the message do anything? Maybe I should also look up court cases where emails have been used as evidence before…

Fuck, stop it, Ana. This isn’t the time.

But it doesn’t stop. I can’t stop thinking about it. The constant worry is taking me out of it and I think Christian is starting to notice. He looks at me for a moment, a puzzled expression on his face and then he leans down to suck softly on the lobe of my ear. The tingling pleasure is a welcome diversion and I realize that I just need to allow myself to be consumed by him right now. I need to let my body take over, but I don’t know if I can do that with him trying to be so gentle with me. Maybe I do need kinky fuckery…

“Faster, Christian,” I urge him.

“No, Ana,” He says. “I want you slow. Just feel me, baby.”

I let out a huff of frustration that I try to cover with a gasp as he pushes deeper inside of me and then tilt my head to take his lips with mine. I reach up into his hair, moaning into his mouth, and try to encourage him with my hips to take me harder. He doesn’t though. His hands gently caress my neck as he continues to move slowly and deliberately, and as I’m finally able to wrap myself up in him, I begin feel the welcome heat building inside of me.

I relax back into the bed and try to let the heat have me. I don’t know why I’m worried so much anyway. It’s going to be okay, no matter what. Carrick says this thing isn’t even going to go to trial, that once they know what evidence we have against Leila, they’ll ask for a plea bargain but we’ll refuse and after a little pressure, they’ll drop the charges. We’re not even going to have to face court again. But… what if that doesn’t happen? Surely Carrick isn’t depending solely on that. He’s got to be ready for the possibility of court. Of course he is, he’s good at what he does. That’s the difference this time. Carrick is in charge, not a background player. He’s the one fighting…  

“I’m almost there, baby,” I hear Christian whisper. “Are you close?”

There is a heightened sense of urgency in his tone which drags me back into the present and I realize I’ve fallen out of it again. Fuck. I’m not close. Not even in the neighborhood of close. I’ve lost it again and at this point I think I just need to accept that it’s not going to happen for me tonight…

But this doesn’t mean it can’t happen for him. He’s close. I can see him through to the end.

“Fuck,” He hisses as I feel the pressure he exudes into me increase. “Come on, Ana. Give it up for me.”

I let out a long, drawn out moan and then grind against him. The muscles in his face tighten as he tries to hold back until he gets me to the point of release, but I know he’s just about to lose control.

“Oh, Christian,” I moan, as I clench the muscles deep inside of me to tighten my walls around him, encouraging him to let go. I push back up into him, trying to meet him thrust for thrust as best I can with him on top of me, and with my hips moving in time with his, and the use of my kegel muscles, he can’t hold off any longer.

“Ana!” He cries as he tips over the edge and erupts inside of me. I continue to move, riding it out with him until he comes down and then rolls over onto the bed next to me, pulling me into his arms as he tries to catch his breath. I snuggle into him, my back pressed into his chest and the tips of my fingers gently grazing his arm.

I feel him shift next to me as he props himself up onto his arm and kisses my shoulder. “Is something wrong, baby?” He asks.

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t come…”

“Oh… no, I’m fine. I’m just… tired,” I tell him and then roll over so that I’m facing him, looking into his concerned eyes. “I don’t really want you to leave tomorrow,” I tell him and he frowns.

“I don’t either. I’ll miss you in bed next to me. I’m not looking forward to sleeping alone again.”

“You’ll call me, right?” I ask.

“Every night,” He promises me. “And every morning.”

“And you’ll email me during the day?”

“Until you get so sick of me, you’ll have to turn off your email notifications.”

“Okay,” I sigh, though the disappointment I feel at his impending departure still rings in my voice.

“Go to sleep, baby,” Christian says. He kisses me gently once more and then I roll over and cuddle into him. We lie there together in silence for a while, my mind still racing with worry, unable to shut down and find rest. Eventually though, the exhaustion over powers my racing thoughts, and my heavy eyelids droop, and I’m carried off into an uneasy sleep to the sound of Christian’s gentle, rhythmic breathing.

Next Chapter

Chapter 21

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It’s weird waking up the next morning and seeing the things of my old room surrounding me. It’s been so long since I’ve been home that everything that was once familiar to me now feels like like a collection of ancient relics from a past life. A simple life, unconvoluted by mind fuck games, media attention, pending university investigations, or the beautiful man that is currently wrapped around me, lost in sleep.

I worm my way out of his grip, careful not to wake him, as I slip out of bed and make my way to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee and try and figure out what to do for breakfast. As I make my way down the hallway, I check my phone which has blown up over night.

From Kate:

Expert Journalist Opinion: That interview went FANTASTIC! You looked beautiful, Christian looked alright, lol. Are you in Boston? 😉

From Carter:

Anastasia Steele, you shady lady! Fuck that secretary girl or whatever she is.

From Elliot:

I think the interview went great, although I’m surprised they managed to get Christian’s big head in the frame. Haha, JK. Hope you’re both having a great weekend, we need to hang out soon. LY

From Christian:

You’re asleep next to me, but I thought you should see this very interesting article I have been reading tonight: http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/mind-body/sex/health-benefits-of-sex

From Luke:

You need to text me and tell me where you’re at. What were you thinking going out of town without security, Ana? I watched the interview. You two are so perfect, it’s nauseating. Haha. Seriously though, text me.

 

From Bob:

Good job, kiddo. Your mom will call you later, but I just want you to know that I’m glad you’re happy.

From Grace:

So happy to see you two so in love again! I knew you’d find a way back to one another! My house for Sunday dinner?

From Mia:

I had to work through the interview but I heard it went great. I’m still mad at Christian but I’m glad you two are back together. Can we have lunch or something soon? Just you and me?

From Ethan:

Nationally televised interview? Banana is going places in the world. I didn’t know you and Grey were back together… When did that happen? Kate never tells me anything.

I shake my head and start my long list of responses, but just as I’m typing out a text to Luke about how he should be worrying about Leah this weekend, not me, my phone rings.

“Hi, Mom,” I answer.

“Well, that interview was a little… surprising,” She says, and I take a deep breath as I prepare myself for the lecture I know is coming.

“Surprising?” I ask.

“When you said this was all lies, I thought you meant you weren’t involved with him at all… When I turned on this interview, I wasn’t expecting to watch him basically propose to you on national TV.”

“He didn’t propose, Mom. He was just… making a statement about a future we are both hoping for.”

“So, you two are just back together? Just like that?” She asks and I can hear the disapproval in her voice.

“No, not just like that. We’ve worked at this, Mom, both of us.”

“You’ve been there for two weeks, Anastasia.”

“But we’ve been working towards this moment for two years. He hasn’t tricked me into being in a relationship with him, Mom. I’m here because this is where I want to be. I love him, and he loves me, and there’s no reason we shouldn’t be together.”

“Oh, I can think of a few reasons!” She says and I let out an irritated huff.

“Mom…”

“So after everything he put you through, you’re just going to take him back? You don’t care that he lied, or that he hurt you and everyone around him, or that he doesn’t even seem to care?”

“Stop it, Mom. He does care, and he apologized to me and to his family. There are other things going on here, bigger things than just one day in history. He made a mistake, he owns that, but he can’t rewrite the past. He apologized for what happened that day, and for all the hurt that it caused. I forgave him. We’re moving on, you need to, too.”

“It’s going to take a lot more than an apology for me to forgive him for what he did to you, for what I had to watch my daughter go through because of him. He’s dangerous for you, Anastasia, and I don’t approve of your relationship with him.”

“Well, that’s just too bad then. You’ll have to forgive me for not wanting to take relationship advice from someone who’s been married four times.”

“Anastasia Rose-“

I hang up the phone. I’m not going to fight with my mom. This is not about her and I’m not going to let her turn my happiness into a personal attack on her. This is another reason I miss Ray. I know that he would just want me to be happy, and as long as that was true, he’d be supportive.

I decide the best bet for breakfast is to probably go out since going to the grocery store to find something to make just isn’t worth the effort, but as I make my way back to my bedroom to wake Christian, I find myself pausing at the closed door to my father’s bedroom.

Pushing aside the childhood guilt that screams, “off limits!”, I slowly turn the knob, push open the door, and let myself inside. The room is tidy, but that isn’t odd. A lifetime of military service has made my father an extremely clean and well organized man. There isn’t, however, a tattered, second hand book resting on his nightstand or the picture of him with my mom and I on the first day of the State Fair in Puyallup from when I was seven on the dresser, and their absence is a blatant reminder that Ray is gone.

I give the room a long examining look, thinking I might take something to keep with me for his last year away. I walk into the small, walk-in closet to my right, and when I open the door to see the line of neatly hung shirts hanging in the dark, I feel a wave of warmth wash over me.

I can smell him.

I reach out and grab onto the sleeve of one of his jackets and pull it to my face, inhaling the faint but comforting scent of linen, mowed grass, and sawdust that is wholly and entirely my dad. I pull the jacket off the hanger and wrap it around me, feeling the scent envelop me like a warm hug, and then look carefully through his sweatshirts for anything else I can take with me.

“What are you doing?” I hear Christian say from the entrance of the closet, and the surprise of hearing his voice makes me jump.

“Christian,” I gasp, feeling my heart pound in my chest. He smirks at me before reaching up and pulling the cord on the light hanging from the ceiling.

“Why are you in a dark closet, Ana?” He asks.

“I… I just… I was thinking about maybe taking a few of my dad’s things with me to have after we leave.”

“Do you have a problem wearing your own clothes?” He asks, amused as he nods to his Harvard t-shirt peeking out underneath my dad’s jacket.

“I don’t even want to hear from you, panty thief,” I say dismissively. I reach up and pull a tattered black sweatshirt from my dad’s company off the hanger and then follow Christian out of the closet and back into my bedroom. Once we’re dressed, I take him to a restaurant in town called The Beehive for breakfast.

When we walk through the door, I look around and realize that I recognize everyone seated in the restaurant, and when we’re shown a table, each different group comes over to say hi and ask about Ray and how I’m doing at Harvard. Only a few people seem to know who Christian is, and even that only seems to be because they watched the interview on TV last night. They gush about how handsome he is, and tell him what a wonderful girl I am, and while my cheeks burn bright red with embarrassment, Christian is gracious and assures them he’s well aware how lucky he is to have me as his girlfriend.

“You’re quite the local hero,” Christian says, smiling at me as the last of the restaurant patrons to come over to say hi heads back to their table.

I roll my eyes. “It’s a small town. Everyone knows everyone and everyone’s business,” I tell him. “I’ve just been gone for a while and they probably need some new gossip, which I’m sure we provided in droves thanks to that interview last night.”

The breakfast selection is not impressive. I order my dad’s favorite, biscuits and gravy, and to my surprise, rather than try to invent some kind of high protien, low fat menu substitute, Christian orders blueberry pancakes and bacon. I spend the morning giggling over my breakfast, while Christian glances from table to table, making up the dramatic life stories of each person in the restaurant. He’s on his sixth different affair when he’s interrupted by his phone ringing.

“Hold on, it’s Ros,” He says. He slips some cash into the black book on the table and then gets up to answer the phone. I wait for the waitress to pick it up, politely decline her offer for change, and then follow after Christian, who I find pacing in the parking lot.

“No, of course not. I’ll speak with Andrea and have anything that can’t be postponed rescheduled to do over WebEx. Get a private plane and charge it to my expense account. Good, I’ll see you Monday.”

“What was that about?” I ask as he hangs up the phone and we climb into the Lincoln.

“Ros and I have to go to New York on Monday. I’ll be gone for three days,” He says.

“Oh,” I say, slightly disappointed.

“You should come with me.”

“I can’t go with you, I have an actual job now, and I’m very busy,” I tell him and he frowns.

“Three days is a long time though… especially if we’re not having sex this weekend,” He says.

“We’ll survive,” I reply, but I have to admit that six days without him feels like a lot now. Especially since we haven’t been apart for more than a few hours since we’ve been back together. I like it that way.

“You’ll be okay alone in the apartment?” He asks. “It’s kind of lonely by yourself.”

“Yeah,” I shrug. “Luke will be there.”

“And Mrs. Jones,” He adds as though he would prefer that was the company I focused on. Hmm… maybe a few days alone in his apartment with Luke isn’t the best way to ease his concerns about our friendship…

“Would you care if I asked Kate to come and stay with me?” I ask and he looks relieved.

“No. I’d feel better knowing you weren’t alone,” He says and I nod.

“I will then.”

When we get back to the house, Christian spends the entire morning on the phone with Andrea, Ros and Taylor, changing his schedule around and then filling the empty spaces with meetings with some new prospective client in New York. It’s a beautiful summer morning, so while he’s dealing with work things, I decide to take some of the manuscripts I’ve brought with me out back to read in the hammock Ray has strung between the two oak trees in the back yard, but when I get there, I find it laying on the ground hidden in the sea of unruly, too long grass.

I bite down on my lip as I look around at the dishevelled state of the yard. Even though I’m here, and I have all of my Dad’s things around me, this just illustrates that he’s not here. Just like me, this place seems to be falling apart without him. I have a brief vision of him coming home and seeing everything looking like this and then having to put everything back together on his own. In that moment, I realize that, for as much as I want this to be home, I don’t live here anymore. If Ray gets home in time to see me graduate, I’ll still be living in Cambridge and when I come back, I’ll most likely be moving to Seattle, back into Escala to really start my life with Christian.

When Ray comes home, it’s going to be to an empty house and that thought is like a knife twisting in my stomach. I don’t wanting him coming home and feeling abandoned, his broken down home reflecting feelings of being forgotten. Left behind.

I’m not going to let that happen.

I walk purposefully over to the vegetable garden my father always slaved over every summer and begin yanking up the weeds that have taken over. There are so many to pull that thirty minutes later, I have a heaping pile next to me but am only just starting to see the soil below. My hands feel raw from repeatedly yanking on the difficult, sharp stems of the noxious plants. I know I should have gotten gloves out of the garage before doing this, but I don’t want to stop now. I’ve resolved that today, I’m going to turn this place around and right now, I’m on a roll.

I hear the screen door from the garage groan and then slam closed with a high pitched rattle as Christian’s footsteps make their way to me across the backyard.

“Here you are,” He says, when his shadow falls over me. “What are you doing?”

“Pulling weeds,” I say, finally stopping to turn and look up at him.

“I see that,” He says, staring down at the pile next to me. “Why are you pulling weeds?”

“So my dad doesn’t think I abandoned him,” I say, and I don’t even need to see his reaction to realize how stupid that sounds. “Look, we don’t have much… but all of this means a lot to him. I just don’t want him to come home and see the yard like this.”

“He’s not coming back for over a year, Ana…” Christian says. “Properties have to be maintained. Pulling weeds now isn’t going to matter a year from now.”

“Then I’ll come back. Every weekend if I have to,” I argue.

“I think that’s a little unrealistic, don’t you think?” He asks.

“Nope.”

“Ana, I can hire someone take care of this. You really don’t have to sit out here and ruin your hands…”

“I’m fine,” I tell him. I turn back to the garden, hearing his low, frustrated sigh, and then feel the sun on my back once again as I listen to him walk away. He doesn’t understand and that’s fine. He grew up differently than I did. He’s never had to be responsible for these kinds of things. He’s always had gardeners, landscapers, housekeepers… Maybe he doesn’t understand the sense of pride that goes into it.

I’m just getting back into my groove when once again I hear the screen door to the garage and when I turn around again, a smile creeps across my face. Christian is walking back out into the yard, dragging my dad’s lawn mower behind him. He doesn’t even look over at me as he reaches down and pulls on the cord that brings the motor to life.

I finish the garden before Christian finishes with the yard, so I take the garden sheers out of the garage and begin trimming the bushes. When Christian leaves for the local hardware store to buy some things to fix my dad’s fence, I pull the dock for my iPod out of my room so we have music to listen to while we work. Like Luke, Christian has a myriad of complaints about my taste in music but as we team up to wash down all the outdoor windows together, I hear him absentmindedly singing the Snoop Dogg part of California Gurls under his breath.

All that ass, hangin’ out, I sing loudly at him, and he turns to glare at me.

“This song is terrible,” He says quickly and I roll my eyes.

“Is that why you know every word?” I ask.

“I do live in the world, Anastasia. It’s not my fault that this song has played literally everywhere I’ve gone for the last year.”

“Oh, no I get it babe… You just accidentally learned all the words to a Katy Perry song. It’s fine,” I laugh.

His eyes narrow again and he picks up the hose in his hand and sprays the window I’m scrubbing with the sponge so that the water sprays all over me.

“Ah!” I scream as I scurry away from the splash zone, and then try and pull my now soaking wet t-shirt away from my skin.

“Oops,” Christian says with a mischievous smile. “Sorry.”

“Oh, you’re going to be…” I say with a laugh, and I run over to the bucket filled with soapy water and pick it up.

“Don’t do it, Anastasia!” He warns, backing away quickly, but I jerk the bucket towards him, drenching him with freezing cold, soapy water.

He gasps as the water soaks through his clothes, and then looks at me incredulously. I stand there, staring nervously at him until the look of shock on his face morphs into a wide, good natured smile.

“You’re so fucking dead,” He says. I scream as he picks up the hose and sprays me right in the chest. Laughter bubbles out of me as I try to run away from him, but he’s faster than me, and when he catches me, he brings me down to the ground, continuing to spray me until I’m soaked from head to toe. The second the water stops, Christian’s lips come down on my mind and, though his face is cold, I kiss him back eagerly. I roll over so that I’m on top of him and run my fingers through his wet hair as I continue to kiss him. When I pull away, he looks up at me with an emotion I can’t read gleaming behind his eyes.

“What?” I ask, smiling down at him so broadly my cheeks hurt.

“I just forgot what this feels like,” He says, and I raise an eyebrow at him.

“Being wet?” I ask with laugh, but he shakes his head.

“No,” He says. “Being happy.”

My smile falters at his disarming confession, but before I can say anything in return, he reaches up and pulls my lips back down to his.

Once we’ve finished with the yard, we each take a shower and then get ready for a night on the town. There is a bar downtown that my dad used to go to with his buddies, and although I’ve never been inside before, I know they have a pool table and liquor, so I figure it can’t be a bad time.

Charlie’s Tavern is small, smoky, and a little run down. Our shoes stick to the floor as we make our way through the surprisingly crowded space towards the bar, but before I make it there, a pair of hands wraps around my arm and I’m pulled into a surprise hug.

“Anastasia Steele!” A girl squeals happily, and as I pull away, I find myself staring at Marissa Freeman, the girl who had everything in high school. Head cheerleader, President of Student Council, head of the Yearbook Committee, Prom Queen, and the girlfriend of the hottest guy at Montesano High School. She’s what I imagine Kate would have been had her parents not moved to Mercer Island before our Freshman year. The key difference between Kate and Marissa though, Kate is my best friend and Marissa Freeman hates my guts.

“Hey…” I say, shocked by her overly friendly attitude.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were in Seattle. I saw you on TV last night with…” Her voice trails off as she looks over my shoulder and sees Christian standing behind me. “Christian Grey,” She whispers, nearly awe struck.

“Do you want a drink, baby?” He asks, and I turn back to him and nod.

“Yeah, but I’ll come with you,” I reply, because despite Marissa’s apparent 180 on her attitude-about-Ana, I’m not super excited to hang out with her for the whole night. I smile at her in a way that I hope comes across as nice but that isn’t inviting for her to join us, but apparently it’s not good enough because she reaches out her hand for Christian.

“Christian, I’m Marissa. I was really good friends with Anastasia in High School,” She says, smiling sweetly at him.

“Oh,” Christian says, surprised. “Pleased to meet you.”

“We should get a table together, we can catch up, Ana,” She says, and feel my fake smile waver a little.

“Actually… I think we’re just going to wander around for awhile,” I tell her. “But we’ll see you around.”

“You should give me your number!” She says excitedly. “We could have lunch sometime!”

“Uh… Sorry. I don’t have a pen. I’ll Facebook you.”

“Great!” She says, “I’ll hold you too it!”

“Okay!” I reply with the same forced enthusiasm she uses, and then I covertly push against Christian so that we can flee.

“You don’t use Facebook,” He says accusatorily as we head for the bar.

“Yeah, I know. That girl hated me in high school. One guess as to why her attitude has suddenly changed.”

“The interview?”

“Christian Grey,” I say in the same dreamy whisper she used when she spotted him behind me, and he rolls his eyes. When we finally make it to the bar, I try to flag down the bartender, who I’m surprised to see is my dad’s friend, Bill.

“Hey, what’s that girl doing in here?” He yells as a broad smile crosses his face. “You’re not old enough to be in a bar!”

“Yes I am!” I say with a laugh. “I have an ID to prove it and everything!”

“I won’t believe it,” He says. “The Anastasia Steele I know is still eighteen years old and excited to leave for her first year at Harvard.”

“Well now she’s 21 and excited about graduation,” I tell him, and he smiles and reaches over the bar to hug me.

“Sharon said you were on the TV last night with some millionaire guy…” He says.

“A hot, millionaire guy,” I reply, gesturing over my shoulder to Christian, and Bill’s eyes widen with shock.

“Oh, hey there,” He says.

“Bill, this is my boyfriend, Christian Grey. Christian, this is Bill Morgan. He’s friends with my dad.”

“How are you, sir?” Christian asks, shaking his hand and Bill looks at him suspiciously.

“I’m well,” He replies and then turns to me. “Ray know about this boyfriend of yours, Ana?” He asks.

“Uh… not yet. It’s kind of new. Sort of…” I tell him, guiltily. “But I’m going to talk to him on Father’s Day, so I’ll tell him then.”

“I see…” He says, “Well, what can I get you to drink?”

“A round of tequila shots and a couple of beers,” I say. Christian pulls out his credit card and hands it to Bill.

“I’ll just buy out the bar for the rest of the night, put everyone’s drinks on this,” He says and Bill’s eyes widen with shock.

“You’re sure?” He asks.

“Of course I am. Please,” Christian says, holding his card out further for Bill to take.

“Well, that’s mighty generous of you, uh… Mr. Grey,” He says, and Christian gives him a knowing smile.

“It’s my pleasure,” He replies. “And, maybe you could put in a good word about me to Ray.”

Bill laughs. “Oh I don’t know how much that’s going to help, son. Ray Steele has always been very overprotective of his daughter. She’s all he’s got in the world. That man would kill for her, and you’d do well to remember that.”

“Alright, alright!” I say, shaking my head at Bill. “Don’t go scaring him off now.” Christian squeezes my hand, as if to reassure me he isn’t going anywhere, while Bill finally gets around to pouring our drinks. Christian and I both slam down a shot, and I have to hold back a laugh as I watch him grimace.

“Ugh, tequila, huh?” He asks as he takes a drink of beer to wash it down.

“Lightweight,” I tease him. I grab ahold of my beer as we turn and make our way back into the crowd.

With free alcohol for the remainder of the night, everyone around us is having a great time. We make our way around the bar, and I introduce Christian to the people I grew up hanging out with. I do notice that the more times I introduce him as my boyfriend, the more confident he seems to grow… especially with his hands. A couple of guys I only kind of remember from high school ask us if we want to play them in a round of pool and as I agree, I feel Christian’s hand grip tightly to my ass.

“Watch it, now,” I warn him, and he laughs.

“It slipped,” He replies innocently.

We order our fourth round of tequila and a couple more beers each as we head for the pool table. Tom and David are great pool players, Christian and I, not so much. I try to tell myself it’s the alcohol, but really, I think I just suck. I can’t tell if Christian is also terrible, or if he’s just too distracted watching me lean over the table over and over again to care about the outcome of the game.

“We need to be better at this,” I tell him as I watch David sink another ball in the pocket. “Kate and Elliot love to go out and play pool, and we can’t do that with them unless we know we can beat them. I can’t lose to Elliot at anything, I won’t survive.”

“Well, I just put that new pool table in the game room. We can practice on it. I love watching you stretch out over the table baby… and I’d love it even more if you were naked… and wet.”

He leans down and grabs my ass again as he kisses me. I moan as he slips his tongue in my mouth, and even though I take just a second to enjoy it, I pull away and give him a reproachful glance.

“I think you’re drunk, Mr. Grey!” I say.

“A little bit,” He agrees with a slight smile, and he leans down to kiss me again.

“Alright, quit sucking face, Grey,” Tom yells at him. “It’s your shot.”

By the time Christian calls the cab to take us home that night, we’re both a little more than buzzed. He at least can walk out of the bar without stumbling, but the moment we’re in the back seat of the taxi, he pulls me into him and his lips come crashing down on mine. I feel his hand slide down my thigh as he tugs gently to bring my leg up and hook it over his knee. His fingers leave a trail of goosebumps as he lightly runs them up and down my bare arms. I kiss him back ardently, feeling desire begin to bloom inside of me. I want him, and I can practically taste his need for me in his kiss.

Thankfully, it takes us less than three minutes to get back to my house, and Christian hands the driver a $20 bill for our $4.20 fare, not bothering with change as we both hurry out of the cab. Once we’re out in the cool, night air, he wraps me in his arms and kisses me again as he guides me backwards through the darkness towards the house. It’s a surprise when he pushes me against the door, and the way his hands begin to grope my body, I worry that he plans to take me right here, on the front step.

I reach down blindly for the doorknob as I feel his lips and tongue ravishing me, and when I finally find it and push open the door, we’re so lost in one another that we nearly fall to the floor.

“I want you, Anastasia,” Christian whispers against my now slightly swollen lips, and I moan. Whatever reservations I had before are hard to justify or even rationalize in my slightly intoxicated, entirely enamored state of mind.

“I want you too, Christian,” I tell him as I begin pulling off my jacket.

“You’re sure?” He asks, “What about the chair and the Christmas presents?”

“Fuck the chair,” I tell him. “Take me to bed.”

He moans, grabs me by the hips, and lifts me into the air. I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms secured tightly around his neck, and I kiss him again, relishing in his taste and in his fervor. He makes it down the hall in record time, only breaking our kiss to throw me down on the bed and climb over the top of me like a hungry predator. His teeth sink into my bottom lip as his hands find the collar of my button down shirt, and he yanks it open, sending buttons scattering across the floor as he reaches greedily for my breasts. I worry he’s going to try and tear my bra away too, but instead, he pulls me up so that I’m sitting, and hastily peels my open shirt off of me before turning his attention to the hooks on the back of my bra.

Once I’m divested of my shirt and my breasts are free, he lets out a deep, guttural sound that is almost feral as he takes my breast with his mouth. I whimper slightly when his teeth graze my nipple a little too hard, but he releases it immediately and sooths the throb away with his tongue. As he leans over me, I can feel his erection pressing into my leg and I feel heat begin to blossom deep inside of me as I anticipate what is to come.

“Ana,” Christian says in a low, husky voice as he runs his tongue up my cleavage and along the curve of my breast. “I want to try something.”

“What?” I breathe, my voice so full of my need for him that I sound desperate.

“Do you trust me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what I say, Anastasia. Do you trust me?”

“Of course I trust you,” I tell him although the intensity behind his gaze leaves me slightly wary of his intentions.

“I want to tie you up.”

He stares at me, his hands and mouth still for the first time since we left the bar while he waits for my answer. I’m panting as I consider his request. I wouldn’t be able to move, and that thought is slightly intimidating… but he’s restrained me before, with his hands and with his body. It’s always more intense when he holds me still and forces me to absorb the pleasure rather than allow me to fight against it. And, with his hands free, he could do so much more, push me so much further. He hasn’t hurt me before, so I’m not worried about that, and some of the rougher things he’s done have actually been good… really good.

“Okay,” I agree but he doesn’t move away or shift his gaze from mine.

“You’re sure?” He asks.

“Yes, tie me up, Christian.”

He gets off the bed and looks around the room. The patterned, dark gray tie he wore in the interview yesterday is hanging over the back of the chair and he grabs it and turns back to me.

“Put your hands and your wrists together,” He tells me, and I hold my arms out for him. He positions my hands so that my palms are touching and then he begins to wrap the silky tie around my wrists.

“Lie back,” He says, and I move backwards on the bed, something that is made a little difficult by my inability to use my hands, and I lie down so that my head rests on my pillow. “Lift your arms.” He says, and I do, watching with interest as he ties the other end of the necktie in a quick, efficient knot around one of the iron bars in my headboard.

Once my hands are secure, Christian inhales sharply through his teeth and then drags his hands down my arms to my breasts which he kneads firmly, capturing my nipples through his index and middle finger and pulling slightly. He climbs onto the bed and replaces his fingers with his mouth as he begins work on the buttons of my jeans. I groan with protest when his tongue leaves my breast and he moves to the end of the bed to remove my shoes and socks before pulling on my jeans and inching them down my legs. I note that he’s careful to remove my pants and my panties separately, and once he pulls my underwear over my naked feet, I know why. I give him a knowing look as he very deliberately tucks the panties into the pocket of his jeans and the, I don’t give a fuck, smile he gives me in return is a silent challenge.

“Open your legs for me, Anastasia,” He commands, and when I do he grabs both of my legs around my shins and lifts them so I bend my knees, but my feet remain flat on the sheet beneath me. His hands comb over my thighs, pushing my legs as far open as they can go without falling flat to the bed again.

Very slowly he leans down, gripping each of my feet and massaging the arch with his thumbs while his lips move to my right ankle. I moan as I feel his tongue swirl around it once before moving up and leaving a trail of kisses up my calf. He pauses every now and then, at my knee and mid-thigh, to leave a longer, softer kiss before nipping gently at my skin and then brushing over the shadow of indentations left by his teeth with his tongue.

I’m squirming by the time he makes it to the end of my legs, watching with fascination as he drags his tongue up the joint between my thighs and my lower lips. His breath is hot and wet as it washes over me and I can feel my muscles clench with anticipation of what I know is coming.

“You’re so beautiful, Anastasia,” He whispers reverentially as he stares down at my glistening center and gently traces his fingers over my lips, sending tingling shivers down my legs. “And you smell intoxicating.”

He leans forward and presses his face into me, pushing against me until he can’t progress any further, and I feel his mouth begin to move. A long, throaty moan escapes my lips as I pull harshly against my restraints but am unable to move my arms. I want to twist my fingers into his hair, hold him to me, but he doesn’t need my encouragement. He devours me like a starving man, releasing a deep, guttural groan into me as his tongue and lips work their magic. My back arches high off the bed, but his hands hold my hips down to keep me in place. I feel the molten heat begin to spread through my body, flowing down my legs and up through my torso, spreading through my arms, my neck and finally escaping my lips in loud, harsh gasp.

I’m grinding against him, greedily taking everything he gives to me and waiting for more. The heat begins to burn hotter, twisting my body tighter and tighter until finally the dam breaks and I come in his mouth. He moans as he feels me convulsing against his tongue, but he doesn’t stop. He pulls me closer into him, the tenacity in which his mouth moves against me only increased as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over me. It feels as though it never ends. It simply goes on and on until I’ve been completely wrung out. Still, when the quivering stops and my body relaxes from the near seizure of erotic euphoria that grips me, he doesn’t stop. His mouth is as insistent as ever, and it’s overpowering me.

“Christian,” I whimper, squirming away from him, and while his hands clamp down over my hips to hold me in place, his mouth does move away from me, leaving kisses over my clitoris and pubic bone before he looks up at me.

“You’re mine tonight, Anastasia,” He says in a gravelly voice. “I will do to you as I please and until I have had my fill. I will not stop until I do.”

I bite my lip at the promising implication of his threat and his eyes darken. His fingers brush over me again, dipping inside of me and then swirling around my clitoris as he moves up and lowers his lips to mine. I can taste my arousal in his mouth as he entangles his tongue with mine and between the sensuality of the kiss and his fingers enticing me below, I feel the promising echo of an orgasm begin to rise again.

“Christian, I want you,” I beg him.

“Not yet, baby. There’s so much more I want to do to you,” He says. His teeth sink briefly into my bottom lip, tugging gently on it as he pulls away. He grips onto me and rolls me over onto my stomach, moving me carefully since my arms are tied above my head.

“Get on your knees,” He orders. “Bring that glorious ass into the air.”

I do as he says, and then turn to look at him as he reaches down and opens the drawer in my bedside table. He shifts around the few notebooks, pens, and the pair of glasses I used to wear in middle school before I got contact lenses, but nothing he finds seems to interest him. On the contrary, he frowns.

“Where is it, Anastasia?” He asks and I look at him, confused.

“Where’s what?” I ask.

“Your vibrator. I want to use it on you. Is it under the mattress?”

“No, I haven’t been in this room since I was in High School, Christian. There isn’t a vibrator in here.”

“Come on, Ana,” He says, skeptically.

“Sorry, Grey. I’m clean,” I tell him, and then narrow my eyes. “Stay out of my drawers in Cambridge, though.”

He smiles wickedly at me, the salacious fire still burning brightly behind his eyes. “No toys…” He says. “We’re going to have to improvise then.”

He reaches over, opens my closet door, and begins examining what he finds inside. I stare at him wearily, but in the end all he pulls out is one of the brightly colored, sheer scarves that were big when I was in Middle School. My suspicion returns though, when he stalks back towards me, pulling the scarf taught in his hands.

“I’m going to blindfold you, Anastasia. Everything will feel more intense if you can’t see what I’m doing.” He says. He holds my gaze, waiting for my consent. I nod and he moves to the side of the bed, carefully wrapping the scarf around my eyes until everything is black. I feel a nervous tension as I listen to him move around the room, trying to guess what each sound he makes is. I can distinguish the sound of his jeans hitting the floor, but that’s it. The bed moves as he climbs onto it behind me and I jump when his hands wrap around my hips.

“Relax, Ana,” He says, soothingly. I feel his fingers, no, the tip of his erection brush against me, slowly moving up and down until he’s lubricated by my arousal. “I’m going to fuck you this way, and I’m going to fuck you hard. You’re not going to come. Do you understand me?”

No. No, I do not understand him. I can’t come? What’s the point in that? I don’t even know how to stop it…

“Answer me.”

“No,” I tell him.

“Your pleasure belongs to me, Anastasia. You will come only when and if I allow you to. You will wait until you have my permission, understood?”

“But…”

I feel the sharp sting of his hand coming down hard on my behind and my words cut off. “If you don’t think you can control yourself, I can stop you from getting off myself. Is that what you want, Anastasia?”

“No,” I whine. He’s still brushing himself over me, teasing me, and I’m aching to push back on him.

“Then you’ll wait until I give you my permission to come?” He asks. The very tip of his erection pushes inside of me and I let out a shaky, needy, gasp of desire. “Promise me, Anastasia.”

“Okay,” I acquiesce. “I won’t come until you tell me.”

“Good girl,” He says. “And I will hold you to that promise. If you do, there will be consequences, Anastasia.”

“Wha-” I begin, but my words are cut off by a loud, unexpected cry when he thrusts forward and buries himself inside of me. His fingers dig into my hips as he pulls me back onto him, doubling the ferocity of the pace he sets as he slams into me again, and again. My hands grip tightly to his tie, stretched tight and straining against the knots securing it to the headboard as I’m pulled back towards Christian on the bed. I can see nothing, but it only amplifies the other sensations. I’m hyper aware of his hands on me, each minute increase in pressure, each shift in his grip, and of course each exquisite movement of him inside of me. He was right, it is more intense this way, and as I moan and pant through the pleasure, I feel the forbidden heat begin to rise within me once again.

Fuck.

I try everything I can think of to stay my orgasm, not thinking about it (or trying to at least), over thinking about it, picturing unsexy things, reciting poetry in my head… but I can’t concentrate on anything besides the feel of him and the increasingly urgent promise of release.

“Don’t do it, Anastasia,” Christian warns me as he feels me begin to tighten around him.

“I can’t…” I protest, partially wishing he would stop and give me a minute to compose myself, but mostly desperately needing him to continue.

“Control it, Anastasia,” He commands, but it’s too far out of reach to me to pull back now. He thrusts into me again, and I detonate. I scream out his name as I fall under the weight of the overwhelming pleasure radiating through my body and to my surprise, Christian doesn’t stop what he’s doing. In fact, he reaches around and begins to massage my clitoris as I clench, helplessly, around him, and the sensation intensifies my orgasm. I’m breathless when I come down, clinging tightly to the restraints around my hands as I struggle to hold myself up. I’m intoxicated, my head spinning and not just from the alcohol. From somewhere far off and distant in the blackness that still covers my eyes, I hear Christian click his tongue disapprovingly.

“Oh, Ana… You came.”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him, still trying to regain my bearings. “I couldn’t stop it.”

“You knew the rules,” He says, “And I told you what I would do if you came without permission.” I wince slightly as he pulls out of me and then feel a wave of trepidation as I feel, rather than see, him climb off the bed. His fingers tilt my chin so that I’m facing him (I think) and then his lips are on mine. I kiss him eagerly, wondering how the sensual way his tongue moves with mine counts as a consequence until I feel his hand run down my back from my shoulder to my behind…

“I’m going to spank you, Anastasia,” He whispers. “I’m going to hit you eight times, and then I’m going to fuck you again. If you don’t like it, you can tell me to stop, okay?”

Spanking. I’ve done that before, and it’s not all that bad… I can do spanking.

“Okay,” I whisper, and he kisses me again just before I feel his hand leave my behind.

I hiss sharply as his hand comes down, hard. He pauses for a second, gaging my reaction, and then he raises his hand and hits me again. It’s not the same as the other times he’s spanked me in the past. Each swat leaves a biting sting in my rear end that lingers for a moment and just as it begins to dissipate, he hits me again. I’m jolted forward by the sixth swat and now that I’m becoming accustomed to it, it hurts a little less and I find myself starting to enjoy it. The slight pain from each blow resonates in my groin and I revel in it. When he hits me for the seventh time, his aim is a little lower and I feel his hand slap against the lips of my vagina, and the harsh gasps that escape with each blow morph into a high, keening moan.

“You like that?” Christian asks, his tone dark and sultry.

“Yes,” I whisper and he lets out a low, sexy, satisfied sound in response. Once more he raises his hand in the air, and hits me again, and, once again, his fingers slap against my labia. He doesn’t pull his hand away this time, though. Instead, two of his fingers sink into me.

“Oh!” I moan as he slides them in and out of me.

“That’s it, baby. Jesus, you’re so fucking wet,” He whispers as he leans down to kiss me once more. “You really do look so beautiful like this, tied up and at my mercy.” His hands brush over my body again and I imagine him standing back to admire me, which is embarrassing as I can still feel the sting in my behind from my spanking and I assume it has left angry, red marks all over my derriere.

“On your stomach, Ana,” He instructs me, and I do as he asks, flattening myself out as best I can with my hands still tethered. He grabs a hold of me and helps me roll over so that I’m on my back again and then he crawls over the top of me. His lips press gently into my skin randomly as he positions himself at my center and then enters me again. I’m starting to get sore, so I wince slightly as he pushes forward, and he freezes. But the last thing I want is for him to stop. I’ve come undone twice now because of his sexpertice. Now, I want him to fall apart because of me.

“Don’t stop, Christian,” I moan.

“You sure? Do you think you have one more in you?” He asks, as he begins to move again.

“Only one way to find out,” I tell him, and he lets out a low mischievous laugh.

“Let’s see, shall we?”

He lifts my leg over his shoulder so that he can push deeper inside of me. I brace myself, clinging tightly to him with my legs to steady myself as he lifts my behind off the bed to take me from a better angle.

“Ah!” I cry out as he hits the place inside of me that is the epicenter of all of my pleasure receptors. I lose myself in the sound of his moans, finding my own delectation in his ecstasy. His thrusts grow more purposeful while at the same time becoming wilder, and it tells me he’s getting closer to release. He lowers me down on the bed and lies over the top of me so that my breasts press into his chest and as his thrusts become more powerful, I feel myself beginning to build.

“Are you going to come, Ana?” He asks.

“Yes.”

“Ask me.”

“What?”

“Ask me if you can come,” He demands. I’m mewling, hardly able to control the small, lust filled cries that escape my lips, but he is in control of me right now and I know that if I don’t comply, he’ll stop and I’ll be left wanting.

“Please,” I beg. “Please, let me come.”

“Oh, baby,” He groans. His fingers travel down and begin rubbing against my clitoris and I know that I won’t last much longer. “Give it to me, Anastasia. Come for me. Show me how much you love this.”

“Fuck, Christian!” I scream and he growls deep in his throat.

“Master,” He corrects me. “I want you to call me Master.” I cry out again as I’m just about to tip off the edge and his fingers pinch tightly around my clitoris, eliciting a scream from me.

“Say it, Anastasia!” He commands me.

“Master!”

His fingers release my clitoris and I’m ripped apart by my orgasm. The roiling, shaking pleasure is too much for me to simply absorb this time and I begin thrashing beneath him. He’s hands are firm against me, determined to hold me in place and while I lose myself in the dark, masochistic hedonism of him taking control and possession of my body, I feel him find release inside of me.

“Fuck!” He hisses and, to my surprise, rather than pushing deeper inside of me as he usually does, he pulls away and I feel his come fall hot and wet onto my stomach and my breasts. He finishes by rubbing the head of his erection over my still trembling clitoris, coating me in his semen.

“Mine,” He whispers, gruffly, and just as I start to come down, he briefly pushes back inside of me.

Next Chapter

Chapter 20

Image result for monopoly

Google Alert: Christian Grey

ABC News, June 4th 2010: Christian Grey, Setting the Record Straight. He’s been called a philandering predator and she’s facing allegations of accepting lavish gifts and professional favors in return for engaging in a forbidden office affair. Tune in tonight as Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele fight back against the accusations of Leila Williams in ABC’s continued coverage of the Grey Enterprises Holdings Sex Scandal. 10 PM EST/7 PM PST.


I have to leave work early on Friday afternoon for mine and Christian’s national interview with Elizabeth Vargas. This interview has been the source of a great ball of anxiety that’s had my stomach tied up in knots since Christian told me about it Wednesday evening. Not because I’m about to go and detail my sexual relationship with Christian on national TV, but because I’m not sure what kind of access my dad has to the media in Iraq. While I sit in the backseat of the Lincoln as Luke drives through the streets of downtown Seattle to the KOMO 4 News station, I stare down at the paper in my lap. On it are several attempts of a letter I’m trying to write for my father, but everything I’ve written so far, has been crossed out.

Hey Dad, remember how I told you I haven’t been seeing anyone? Well, that wasn’t exactly true…

Hi Daddy, I hope everything is going well for you. Things could be better here… I’m caught up in a sex scandal with my internship but if you hear anything about it, I don’t want you to worry. Christian isn’t sexually harassing me, we’re in love.

Dad, I miss you. I wish you were here because I wish I could introduce you to my boyfriend Christian Grey. I don’t know if you’ve heard of him… he used to be a student at Harvard with me but now he owns a huge company in Seattle. It’s really impressive and he’s really smart and driven. There are a lot of things being said about the two of us in the media right now and if you hear any of it, I don’t want you to worry. It isn’t true. He’s the kindest, most generous, caring man in the entire world and he loves me. I love him. I don’t know why I haven’t told you about him until now…

I frown down at my latest attempt at the letter and cross the words out with frustration. There’s just no way to get around sounding like I’m trying to cover up a sex scandal. That’s my fault. I waited until there was a sex scandal to tell my father about the first man I’ve ever loved, and now it’s going to come off like I’m hiding something or lying to him. It’s hard to convince your father, who is almost 7000 miles away, that you’re deeply and truly in love with someone for the first time when you have to preface that with ‘Despite what you may have read, I’m not having sex with him for an internship’.

I throw my letter down on the seat next to me and look down at the pile of manuscripts I’ve brought from the office. At least Christian and I are getting away together this weekend. After this interview, we’re going straight back to Escala to pack and then it’s off to the airport for two days of peace from the paparazzi and from the lawyers constantly coming in and out of our apartment. I rest my head against the back of my seat, close my eyes, and try to push away the stress from this last week as I imagine Christian and I in some strange city where I’ve never been.

Only a few more hours.

“Do you want me to put on some music, Ana?” I hear Luke ask from the driver’s seat. I open my eyes, look up at him, and see his gaze fixed on me in the rear view mirror.

“No, I like the quiet,” I tell him.

“You’re going to be okay,” He assures me. “You have nothing to hide. This interview is your chance to show that to the world and to change the narrative about you and Mr. Grey. Kate’s article is coming out Monday… this is all going to be a distant memory in a couple weeks.”

“I hope so, Luke,” I reply, and he gives me a reassuring smile as he turns into the studio, behind locked gates that will finally keep the paparazzi away from the car so that I can get into a building without being mobbed for the first time since this story broke on Monday.

When the car comes to a stop at the back entrance of the studio, there is a woman in a sharp black suit and two men who look like security guards there waiting for me. I climb out of the back of the SUV and the woman walks quickly towards me, holding out her hand.

“Miss Steele? My name is Bridget Kaiser and I’m the station manager here at KOMO news. We’ve got a dressing room set up for you to wait in until the interview begins, if you’ll follow me.” She turns around and begins walking purposefully into the building and I give Luke an uneasy glance before I follow after her. Miss Kaiser is sharp, precise, and talks very quickly. Not exactly the kind of person to put your nerves at ease…

She leads me into a small, well lit dressing room with a large, cushy sofa, two smaller, stiffer looking chairs, and a small coffee table with a basket of fruit and several bottles of chilled water resting on top. Against the far wall, there is a long counter covered in cosmetics and different hair styling tools and products. Standing in front of it are two severe looking people dressed entirely in black, each giving me an examining stare.

“Please have a seat, Miss Steele,” Miss Kaiser says, gesturing to the director style chair in front of the makeup counter. “This is Alex and Lana, they’ll be getting you ready for the cameras.”

“Where’s Christian?” I ask.

“I’m sorry, Miss Steele. Mr. Grey hasn’t arrived yet.”

“But I’m late…”

“I’m sure he’ll be here momentarily,” She says. She gives me a pacifying smile but when I don’t drop my gaze she turns to her assistant. “Will you get me an update on Grey’s arrival?” She asks. Her assistant nods and leaves the room and she turns back to me, a well practiced look of gleeful hospitality plastered across her face. “If you need anything else Miss Steele, please let us know.”

I nod as she turns around to leave the room but as Alex and Lana both make their preparations to start doing my hair and makeup, I turn to Luke, who has settled down on the couch and is going through the fruit on the coffee table.

“Will you find out where Christian is?” I ask him nervously. He looks up at me, concern etched on his face once again when he sees the expression I give him, and he stands immediately.

“Of course I will,” He says, and as he takes out his phone and turns to leave the room, I make my way to sit in the chair in front of the mirror.

“Well, Miss Steele,” Lana says in a thick Russian accent as she stares at me in the reflection of the mirror. “What shall we do with you today?”

“I don’t care,” I reply quietly. “Just… keep it natural.” She nods and picks up some kind of cream to put on my face. Alex begins running a brush through my hair, a wide barrel curling iron heating up on the counter, and while they both poke and prod their way around me, I stare vacantly into my reflection in the overlit mirror. I look pale, ghostly even, and I know it’s because of the nerves. Even sitting here, I can’t stop picturing my dad watching this news report, completely blindsided on some remote base in front of all of his friends. I know what that feels like, and the guilt that grips me because of it, is overpowering.

I have to get a grip on myself though… I don’t want Christian to see me like this. It isn’t his fault I never told my dad anything and if he sees me looking like this, I know he’ll get the wrong idea as to why.

I take a deep, steadying breath and as I slowly release it and suck in my cheeks so that Lana can apply some foundation to my skin, I see Luke come in the door behind me.

“Well?” I ask.

“He’s stuck in a meeting,” Luke says. “Taylor says it’s already gone an hour over schedule and it doesn’t look like it will wrap up for at least another thirty minutes. He said he hopes they’ll be here within the hour.”

“An hour?” I repeat. “But, the interview starts in twenty five minutes.”

“I know… He’s going to get here as soon as he can. Andrea’s on the phone with the studio working it out as we speak.”

I turn back to the mirror, trying to stay still and stop the nervous fiddling so that Alex and Lana can continue their work, but it’s difficult with this new added stress. Luke comes up next to me and rests his hand on my arm.

“I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Okay,” I say, with a slight nod, and when he turns to leave, I’m alone again.

Twenty minutes later, my makeup is finished and Alex finally lets me get up so that he can coat my hair with entirely too much hairspray to keep it from “falling flat under the hot lights”. I take a seat on the sofa, reaching for the remote to turn on the TV, which hangs from the ceiling like the kind you see in hospital rooms, but before I find something that I find even remotely interesting, the door opens and Luke re-enters the room, to my surprise, with Kate and Elliot in tow.

“Kate!” I say, feeling a small wash of relief. “What are you doing here?”

“Luke called us,” She explains. “He said he didn’t think you were doing very well and thought you could use some more people around you. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I say dismissively, but that’s never worked on Kate. “Well… I am about to go on national TV to try and convince the entire world I’m not a slut.”

“Stop it, Ana. Don’t think about it like that. You’re a girl who fell in love with a hot, sexy boy who became a hot, sexy, CEO. This isn’t the horrible thing everyone wants to make it out to be, this is a fairytale. Every girl’s dream. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.”

I pause and stare back at her gratefully. No matter what, Kate has my back, and she always knows what to say to pick me up when I’m down.

“I’ve missed you,” I say, resting my head on her shoulder and she wraps her arms around me.

“Well that is the one downside of all of this,” She says. “You’re too busy having sex with the hot, sexy CEO to hang out with your best friend.”

“Oh, she hangs out with her best friend,” Luke taunts her and Kate turns to glare at him.

“You watch your mouth, Luke Sawyer. I am not intimidated by you or your muscles and I will murder you if you think you’re going to take my place.” She says harshly and both Luke and I laugh.

“There, that’s better,” Kate says, smiling at me as I pull away.

“I’m sorry you had to come all the way down here,” I tell her. “It’s the middle of the work day, I’m going to get you fired.”

“Nah, that’s the beauty of it all. My boss is my dad. If he tried to fire me, I’d just tell my mom on him.” Kate says with a joking smile.

“And it’s hard to be fired when you own the company,” Elliot says, flopping down on the couch next to me and yanking the remote out of my hand. “They’d have to take my name off all of the letterheads, and really, it’s just not worth it.”

“Don’t you think that joke is getting a little old?” I ask him but he shakes his head.

“Not when Christian is around. Where is he anyway?”

“In a meeting apparently. According to Taylor, he’s going to be an hour late.”

“He would keep Elizabeth Vargas waiting,” Elliot says, seemingly appalled. “Punk.”

I laugh again and then turn to Kate, asking her to catch me up on her life, and as she launches into all of the menial drama she’s dealing with at work, I’m finally able to relax, glad to focus on someone else’s problems for a change.

A little while later, there is a knock on the door again and another woman in a pristine white pencil skirt and matching blazer comes into the room.

“Anastasia,” She greets me with a wide, pearly white smile. “My name is Jacqueline Knight, I’m Mr. Grey’s publicist, I was hoping I could go over a few talking points with you before your interview.”

“Sure,” I say and Kate squeezes my hand and gets off the couch to stand by Luke so that Jacqueline can sit next to me.

“Ideally, we’d like to keep GEH out of the conversation about you and Mr. Grey as much as possible. We want to create a disconnect between your relationship and the Grey brand. If you must discuss GEH, try and use words like, work or company rather than specifically using the GEH name.”

“Okay,” I agree.

“Also, this interview is about your relationship, and you’re going to have to sell that. You should be affectionate towards one another, intimate, but also reserved. You could hold his hand or touch his arm. If you’re going to cross your legs, cross them towards him, not away. And never, and I mean never, cross your arms. When he speaks, look at him, not at Ms. Vargas, and try to really express your affection with your eyes. If he tells a joke, laugh. Smile when Ms. Vargas, asks you questions about him…”

“I don’t need to pretend I’m in love with him,” I tell her. “That part I can handle.”

“Good,” She says, and as she moves to the next subject, the door to the dressing room opens and, finally, Christian walks in with Taylor and Carrick behind him.

“Now remember, son. This is the court of public opinion,” Carrick says. “If the interviewer brings anything up about the lawsuit or Leila Williams, you have to remain polite and succinct. Do not use disparaging language against her or try to infer her intentions in anyway, it will make you look defensive which is a small leap to guilty. Be respectful and stick to the facts.”

“I know, Dad,” Christian says. His eyes search the room until he sees me on the couch and when our eyes lock, the tension in his face immediately softens.

“Mr. Grey,” Jacqueline says as she stands from the couch. “I’m glad you’re here. I was just telling Anastasia…”

“Everyone out,” He interrupts her and Jacqueline falls quiet as everyone in the room turns to look at him with confusion. His eyes break away from mine as he looks around at the people staring at him. “Now,” He adds, like he doesn’t know what everyone is waiting for.

There is a great deal of movement around me as everyone scrambles from their places in an attempt to hurry out of the room. Christian closes the door behind them and then comes to sit next to me.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“What do you mean?”

“You look… pale,” He says and I frown. So much for makeup.

“I’m fine. I’m just… a little nervous, I think.”

“Don’t be,” He tells me. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. I get to tell the world that I love you today.”

I bite down on my bottom lip as I try and contain the smile his words coax out of me, and when I look down at my fingers in my lap, he reaches over to tilt up my chin and kiss me. The feel of his lips against mine has me more at ease that I’ve been all day, and I can feel heat rush to my cheeks as I feel him pour the unfathomably unconditional love that he holds for me into this precious point of contact.

When he pulls away from the kiss, he cups my face in his hand and I feel his thumb brush over the blush still burning in the skin of my cheeks.

“There she is,” He says and the small, charming smile that I love crosses his lips.

“I’ve missed you today, Christian.”

“Me too, baby.”

“What kept you?”

“Elena’s audit was this morning. Ros was so determined to find something that she conducted the most thorough audit I’ve ever been a part of, and then had the results reviewed twice. We went over the scheduled time by two hours.”

“Oh… what did she find?” I ask, the interview falling completely out of my mind with this news.

“Nothing,” He says as if this should have been the expected answer. “Transactions check out, inventory is perfect, books are flawless. Not a dollar out of place.”

“Nothing? Really? How is that possible?”

Christian narrows his eyes at me. “Elena is good at what she does, Anastasia. For whatever other valid things you may have to say about her, she runs those salons very well. I’m a businessman and I told you that our relationship was only business. Do you really think that I would keep her in charge of a division of my company if she wasn’t doing an absolutely outstanding job?”

His defense of her leaves a disgusting taste in my mouth. “No, but I do think that she’d lie to you…” I say and he opens his mouth to answer but there is a knock on the door and Ms. Kaiser sticks her head into the room.

“Mr. Grey, Miss Steele, they’re ready for you,” She says.

Christian nods and then turns back to me, staring at me with a myriad of emotions blazing in his steel gray eyes, before reachout out for my hand. As he helps me up off the couch, he entwines his fingers with mine and we walk out of the dressing room and down the long hallway to the set where our interview is going to take place, hand in hand.

It’s a little surreal to step onto the raised platform set. It’s supposed to look like a cozy living room. There’s a fake fireplace in the back that is pumping too much heat into the room, and a few bookshelves piled with more knick knacks than books in the back. Christian and I are directed to sit on a silky looking, cream colored loveseat (which immediately has me wondering if Jacquline had added to be symbolic), and across from it, sitting in an emerald green chair, is Elizabeth Vargas.

“Mr. Grey,” She says, her voice slightly cold as we approach, which I think might be because she’s been kept waiting. Christian reaches out to shake her hand, apologizing for his late arrival before introducing her to me. She tells us to take a seat, and when we lower ourselves onto the sofa, Christian pulls me in close to him, putting one arm behind my back and placing his hand on my hip, while his other hand wraps around mine and rests in my lap. A makeup artist rushes on stage to touch up Ms. Vargas’s makeup and as a few producers approach to give her some direction, Christian turns to me.

“Do you need anything before we start?” He asks.

“No,” I reply, shaking my head and he catches my eyes, gives me a small, reassuring smile and then leans in to place a gentle kiss on my cheek.

“You look beautiful, Anastasia,” He whispers in my ear and as a tingling shiver runs up my spine, I take a breath and turn to face Elizabeth Vargas.

The interview starts with a long monologue from Ms. Vargas talking about Christian’s rise to the top of the business world and then the controversy and the allegations that have, ‘tarnished his otherwise spotless reputation‘ over the past week. When she finally turns to us to ask the first question, Christian squeezes my hand and I stop fidgeting and trying to sit up straight as I become very aware of the camera pointed directly at me.

“When did you meet Anastasia, Mr. Grey?” Ms. Vargas asks and when he answers, Christian turns to look at me.

“It was Labor Day, 2007. The day before my first day of classes at Harvard University. Anastasia lived across the hall from me and she was coming back to her dorm just as I was leaving to meet Ros for our first real meeting for what would become GEH. The moment I saw her, I was enraptured.”

“How about you, Anastasia?” Ms. Vargas asks. “We’re you enraptured as well?”

“Of course,” I answer. “He was the handsome, elusive, mysterious guy who lived across the hall and he had me captivated.”

“Mysterious?” Ms. Vargas asks.

“Oh, well he was a little rude in the beginning…” I say in a light, slightly teasing tone. “You see, our Resident Advisor that year had put nametags on our doors to welcome us to school on the first day but Christian didn’t have one, and when we first met, he didn’t introduce himself. It took me a couple days to even find out what his name was.”

I smile at him, genuine adoration coloring my expression as I recall the early days of our relationship and when he smirks down at me, I can see Jacqueline practically bouncing up and down with joy just off set.

“Is that true, Mr. Grey?” Ms. Vargas asks, and even she can’t hold back her smile.

“Partially,” He responds. “But I wasn’t being rude. The truth is I was so struck by how beautiful she was, I couldn’t remember my own name.”

My smile is ridiculous as I stare back at him, his sweet words floating in the air between us and he leans down to kiss me, but I reach up to stop him.

“Christian, we’re on TV!” I exclaim with a laugh and as he sighs and turns back to the interviewer, Jacqueline actually claps her hands together one time in celebration of this perfect TV moment.

Most of the interview is easy, and honestly, fun. We each tell our favorite stories about our time at Harvard and all of the little moments that made our relationship special. Eventually though, we run out of happy stories. She talks briefly about Leila and the sexual harassment allegations which Christian answers with calm, easy confidence. That confidence dwindles however, when she asks about the lack of my presence around him up to this point in his career.

“It’s been widely reported again and again over the last few years that you’ve been single Mr. Grey. Was the reason you chose to keep your relationship hidden so you would be able to hire Miss Steele to work at GEH with no repercussion?”

I watch his adam’s apple jump as he swallows and looks down at his hand in mine, and I squeeze it in a comforting gesture, take a deep breath, and look Ms. Vargas straight in the eyes.

“It was difficult to be in a relationship once he left Harvard to start his company,” I tell her. “He was in Seattle, I was in Cambridge, and 3000 miles is a lot of distance. I had three years of school left and it just wasn’t working. So, we broke up. He threw himself into work, I focused on my studies. But even when we weren’t together, he called me everyday.”

Christian exhales and looks up at Ms. Vargas. “A few months ago, I decided I wanted GEH to break into the publishing industry. Seattle Independent Publishing was ripe for a takeover and I moved on it. We began the acquisition process and I needed a director. Someone smart, capable, driven, and with a background and love for literature. I knew only person who fit everything that I wanted for this project, so I offered Anastasia an internship to bring SIP under the GEH umbrella over the course of this summer.”

“So there wasn’t a promotion then?” Ms. Vargas clarifies.

“No,” Christian says. “This project was always intended for Anastasia. We had some contract delays that left her floating for a couple weeks, but she was hired to be the SIP Implementation Director from the beginning. There was no romantic relationship between Anastasia and myself with the offer was made, nor did she make me any promises.”

“Then, when did your relationship begin again?”

“Not long after I came to Seattle,” I answer. “It wasn’t planned. We tried to keep our relationship strictly business related and when that didn’t work we tried to be friends. In the end we couldn’t fight it. It just feels… meant to be. I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about Christian Grey and that has nothing to do with this internship, or with GEH.”

“She’s the love of my life,” Christian says. “There is no doubt in my mind that right now I am sitting next to the future Mrs. Grey.”

“Would you agree with that statement?” Ms. Vargas asks me.

“I hope so,” I nod. “Someday.”

On that note, the interview ends. Ms. Vargas gives one last monologue to give context to the interview, spinning the story now as an almost Romeo and Juliet style romance and part of me wonders if GEH has paid for that little plug. Someone yells cut and there is a sudden upheaval of movement all around us. Ms. Vargas shakes both mine and Christian’s hands once more and then we’re whisked back into our dressing room, followed by Jacqueline who is so happy, she’s practically singing.

“Alright, thank you, Jacqueline,” Christian says irritably. “You can go now.”

“Oh… uh… yes sir, Mr. Grey.” She turns around and walks out of the room, leaving us alone with Kate, Elliot, Luke, and Carrick.

“Well, should we celebrate by going out to dinner?” Elliot asks.

“The interview hasn’t aired yet,” Carrick says. “The paparazzi will be out of control if these two go out in public together right now. Why don’t we all just go back to the house? Mia will be home late, but it’s a Friday night. You’re all welcome to stay at the house and we could plan something for us to do as a family all day tomorrow.”

“Where’s Mia?” I ask.

“Off hating Christian’s guts,” Elliot says, clearly annoyed, and I give him an inquisitive look, but Carrick is the one who answers my question.

“Grace thought it would be best if Mia got a job to take up some of her time this summer,” He explains. “And for some reason she blames Christian for that. But she doesn’t listen to me anymore so…”

“Quite frankly, I think this just all works out great for me,” Elliot says, and when we all give him a confused look he adds, “Well, Christian was the troublemaker, Mia’s a brat… I’d say I win the who was the best kid contest. Hands down.”

“There’s no contest,” Carrick says firmly but Elliot shakes his head.

“I don’t know… we’ll just see what happens when the will is read.”

“Sorry, Elliot. Whatever you’ll inherit will have to be controlled by a conservator,” Christian says. “They don’t let the mentally unstable control large amounts of assets. Don’t worry though, I wouldn’t let anyone else but myself take up that roll for you. I wouldn’t want you to be taken advantage of…”

“I don’t know what you two are fighting for, Grace and I are going to divide everything equally between Anastasia and Kate, so you’re not getting anything,” Carrick adds dryly.

“Fine by me!” Elliot laughs triumphantly. “Sucks to be you, Mia.”

“Sucks to be you,” Kate says pointedly. “Once we get our inheritance, Ana and I will drop you losers and marry each other. Our one true love. Right, Ana?”

“I mean, we’ll have that beautiful house in Bellevue… seems like it would be a waste not to,” I reply with a laugh. I hear Christian’s irritated huff next to me but Elliot looks between Kate and I for a minute and then smirks.

“I’d pay to see that.”

“How?” Kate laughs. “You’ll be broke!”

“Alright, Alright,” Carrick says, stopping the conversation before it goes any further. “You kids head back to the house, I’ll let Grace know we’re on the way so she can order some dinner.”

“That sounds great, Dad, but Ana and I are actually going out of town this weekend. We have to get to the airport,” Christian says regretfully.

“Oh, where are you going?” Carrick asks.

“I’m not sure,” Christian says. “We’re just going to see what’s leaving when we get there.”

“Awh,” Kate says before covering her mouth and staring at us like we’re holding a litter of newborn kittens or something. Elliot on the other hand laughs.

“That’s a terrible way to plan a vacation. I hope you end up in Boston.”

“Well, I have a house there,” Christian shrugs and I roll my eyes.

“Oh!” Kate exclaims suddenly, reaching down and picking up a pad of paper and pen off the table. “If you do go to Boston, I’m going to need you to grab a few things that I forgot.”

“We’re not going to Boston!” I exclaim but Kate tears the paper off the pad and hands it to me anyway.

“Just in case.”

When we’re back at Escala, Christian tells me that he needs ten minutes to take care of some emails he put off for the interview, so while he heads into his office, I make my way to the bedroom to do the packing I never got around to. When I get there though, I see my purple carry on suitcase already sitting on the bed next to Christian’s. Mrs. Jones must have packed for both of us this afternoon.

I sigh and fall back on the bed, closing my eyes and focusing on taking deep breaths in and out. I’m waiting for the anxiety I’ve felt over this interview to go away, but I’m still as tense now as I was this morning. Maybe it’s not the interview… maybe I’m just overwhelmed. I mean, between this job, dealing with Elena, the lawsuit, potentially losing Harvard and worrying about my Dad…

The muscles in my stomach clench as I think about Ray and immediately I know that’s what’s wrong with me. It’s not just about the letter that I couldn’t write to him earlier, not just about the possibility of him finding out about my relationship with Christian over TV or a news article rather than from me… It’s really just me, going through a hard time and missing my dad.

Talking to Luke, talking to Kate, even talking to Christian about everything that has been going on has helped me deal with it, but right now, what I want more than anything is for my dad to make me a cup of tea and then wrap me up in hug and tell me that it’s going to be okay. I’ve sent him four letters since I’ve been in Seattle and I haven’t gotten one in return. I have no idea where he is, or if he’s safe… What I wouldn’t give for just a few minutes to talk to him.

I reach down and take my phone out of my bag and pull open the calendar app. I get one phone call on Father’s Day and I count sixteen days between now and then. More than two weeks, and that thought feels like it’s going to kill me.

“You ready, baby?” Christian asks as he steps into the room and as I put my phone down and sit up to look up at him, a tear rolls down my cheek.

“Hey…” He says softly as he comes to sit next to me on the bed and wraps me in his arms. “What’s the matter?”

“I miss my dad,” I tell him. “This all so hard and I feel like if I could just talk to my dad for a second, he could help me get back to being centered, you know? He’s been gone a long time and I just… I wish he was here.”

“I know,” He says, rubbing his hand gently over my back as I cry into his suit jacket. “I’m sorry, Ana. But he’s got less than a year left, right?”

“I think… He’s supposed to be back sometime next summer.”

“Well, we can make it through a year. All of this bullshit isn’t going to last forever, I promise you. It’s going to be over soon. This is just the hard part.”

“I know,” I nod. “I’m sorry, I think I’m just a little over stressed right now. I think I might actually need this weekend for my sanity.” I tell him.

“Then let’s go,” He says and I take a deep, calming breath before taking his hand and getting off the bed. He takes both of our suitcases and I lead the way through the living room toward the elevator.

When we get to the garage, Taylor is waiting in Christian’s SUV just a few steps away from the elevator, but as Luke climbs out of the front seat to take our bags, I get an idea, and I reach out to stop him.

“I don’t want to go to the airport,” I tell Christian and he raises an eyebrow at me.

“What do you mean? I thought you just said that you needed to get away for your sanity.”

“I do. I’m not saying that I don’t want to go anywhere, I’m just saying that I don’t want to go to the airport. I know where I want to go, and we don’t need a plane to get there.”

“Okay…” He says hesitantly, “Where do you want to go?”

I smile at him, but instead of answering, I turn to Luke. “You and Taylor can take the weekend off. We’re not going to need security where we’re going.”

“Ana…” Christian says but I turn imploring eyes on him.

“Trust me, Christian,” I beg him and he takes a second to decide but eventually he lets out a long breath and then nods to Luke.

“We’ll see you Sunday night, Sawyer.”

“Mr. Grey…” Luke argues but Christian cuts him off.

“Enjoy your weekend,” He says flatly and Sawyer stares blankly between the two of us, but eventually he gives Christian a stiff nod and we turn to walk towards my Lincoln. I climb into the driver’s seat while Christian places our luggage in the trunk, and once he’s in the passenger’s seat, I pull out, past Luke and Taylor, who are staring anxiously at us, and out of the garage.

“So, not Bellevue?” Christian asks as I pass the turnoff for the I-90 East.

“No, not Bellevue,” I say, and he lets out sharp huff. I don’t think he likes not knowing where we’re going but he’s done this to me before. Vermont was a good surprise, and I hope this will be too.

Just over two hours later, I begin to see the first familiar buildings begin to pop up alongside the highway and when Christian sees the population sign on the side of the road, his eyes widen with realization.

“Montesano,” He infers and I nod. He looks out at the approaching downtown area as I pull off the exit from the Olympic Highway onto Main Street. “You want to go home.”

“Is that okay?” I ask.

“Of course it’s okay, Ana. I want you to be happy and if this is where you want to be then I’m just… I’m just happy to be here with you.”

I smile at him as I weave through the familiar streets of downtown until the buildings give way to houses and I turn onto my dad’s street. The memory of going to Christian’s parents’ house for the very first time creeps unbidden into my mind as we past the modest houses that line Park Ave. Everything about the Grey’s property is beautiful, from the classic architecture of the mansion to the sweeping, well manicured lawns, even the stunning, lakefront views. I was almost in shock when I saw the grandeur of the home where Christian had grown up, and as I pull into the gravel driveway of the small, ranch-style house I’ve known almost my whole life, I’m almost floored to see Christian having nearly the same reaction.

Ray’s house is modest in every sense, but he takes great pride in caring for it. It’s almost a little shocking to see it now. The ivy that my mom had grown to creep up the side of the house and frame the entryway is in desperate need of trimming and my dad’s normally perfect yard needs to be mowed. One of the planks in the low fence that my dad built at the edge of the front yard a few summers before I left for college has come loose and the bushes I played under with the neighborhood kids on the far side of the lawn are in serious need of some garden shears. I try and ignore all of this though as I turn and look at Christian who is appraising the house with… what? Trepidation?

“Come on,” I say as I climb out of the car. Christian follows me up the slightly cracked, concrete walkway to the front door, where I pull the spare key out from under the ceramic frog I named Mickey when I was six. I hold open the door for him and he steps carefully into the house.

It’s surprisingly cold inside, completely dark, and uncomfortably quiet. Like we’ve just walked into a haunted house in a scary movie or something.

“Wait here,” I tell Christian, “I’ll find the breaker.”

He nods and I leave him and make my way through the dining room and kitchen to the laundry room at the back of the house next to the door for the garage. After I’ve flipped the switches to turn on the power, I reach down behind the washing machine to twist the knob that will turn the water on. When I make my way back into the living room, I find Christian standing in front of the fireplaces looking at the long line of photographs that show the steady progression of my life from diapers to my high school graduation.

“What is this?” He asks, holding up a picture of me in an embarrassingly frilly, pink dress, clinging awkwardly to a tall, skinny, young man with a jet black hair and long limbs that he hadn’t fully grown into yet.

“Homecoming, sophomore year,” I tell him.

“And the boy?”

“Kameron McFadden,” I answer. “He was my lab partner in Chemistry. And before you say anything, that is the only chemistry we had together.”

“I see,” He says as he sets the picture back down and moves the next. I quickly run over and pull him away from the mantle.

“I think that’s enough with the pictures,” I say disapprovingly. “Afterall, I never stalked your parents collection of embarrassing high school photos.”

“That’s because there aren’t any. I spent my homecoming with Ele-… I mean, I uh, I didn’t go to homecoming.”

“Right,” I say frowning and he furrows his brow.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up…”

“No, it’s fine,” I say, cutting him off. “You didn’t go to homecoming. That just sucks for whatever lucky girl you could have taken with you.”

He rolls his eyes and I grab his hand to give him a tour of the house but before we even make it to the hallway, someone knocks on the front door.

“Crap, hold on,” I tell him as I move to answer it. It’s Mr. Anderson, my next door neighbor, and when I open the door, he looks shocked to see me.

“Hi, Mr. Anderson,” I greet him with a smile.

“Anastasia, what are you doing here? I saw the car and I… Hey kiddo!” He says, a small laugh escaping as he leans down and wraps me in a tight hug.

“I just wanted to come home for the weekend,” I tell him. “How are you?”

“I’m doing great!” He says, “Everything is just the same here, except we all miss Ray on poker night. Have you heard from him, how’s he doing?”

“Good, I think. It’s been awhile since he’s written to me but he gets busy, you know?”

“Actually, I’ve been picking up your mail and I think there were some letters addressed to you that were returned. I put them on your table.”

“Oh!” I exclaim, suddenly dying to find said letters, but not wanting be rude and look like I’m trying to get rid of him. “Great, thanks.”

“How’s Harvard? You know, we still can’t believe that you made it so far, Ana. It makes all of us real proud to know we might have had even just a little influence to help you turn out to be such a great kid.”

“Thanks, Mr. Anderson,” I say blushing. He hugs me again and I feel him look up.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had company,” He says, as he notices Christian standing in the living room behind me.

“Oh, yeah. Mr. Anderson, this is my boyfriend, Christian Grey.”

“Pleased to meet you, sir,” Christian says cordially, stepping forward with his hand outreached for my neighbor.

“And you, son. That’s a mighty fancy suit you got there, you a student at Harvard too?”

“A former student,” Christian says. “I work in Seattle now.”

“Oh, well, good for you. I’m glad to hear Ana’s being taken care of while her dad’s away. You know Ray was always very protective of his daughter. Not a lot of boys dared to come around here.”

“Well, sir, I promise, I only have the best intentions with Anastasia.”

“That’s good to hear,” Mr. Anderson says. “Well, I’ll let you kids get back to it then. If you need anything, Ana, Jennifer and I are right next door.”

“Thank-you, Mr. Anderson,” I say, waving at him as he turns around to leave and then closing the door.

It doesn’t take me long to show Christian the entire house. He laughs at me when I tell him I can’t show him my dad’s room because I’m not allowed in there, and then spends an exorbitant amount of time going through my childhood bedroom. I worry that he’s going to spend the entire weekend in here, looking through my old yearbooks and combing through the books and CDs on my bookcase, but eventually, he tells me he needs to check in on work, so we both grab the things we’ve brought from the office and head back out to the living room.

Apparently there is a problem with something, because Christian has to make a few phone calls, and while he paces in the kitchen, casually nibbling on the pizza I was forced to order due to lack of food in the house, I read through the letters that my Dad had sent to 301 40th ST rather than 301 4th ST in Seattle, and finally, I feel the tension I’ve been riddled with the entire week begin to relax. This is exactly what I needed, a weekend away from the city to just feel normal for a minute. No penthouse, no paparazzi, no staff or security… Just me, Christian, and greasy pizza.

We both decide not to watch the interview when it airs that night, but the downside of coming home to small town Montesano over some lavish vacation destination, is that there isn’t much to do in terms of night life.

“We could… go down by the river. I used to go down there with my friends and drink beer when I was in high school. It was kind of fun.”

“Yeah, because you were underage,” Christian says. “We can drink beer here now.”

“Well then we could, uh…”

“You don’t have to entertain me, Anastasia. Everything I need is right here,” He leans over and kisses me and after a few moments, the tenderness of his kiss melts into something more enticing. I moan slightly as I feel him nibble on my bottom lip. When he reaches out and cups my breast though, I lean back and give him a chastising look.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I ask.

“I think I’m trying to make love to my girlfriend,” He says, but I shake my head.

“Oh, no. We can’t have sex here.”

“What do you mean, we can’t have sex here?” He asks, his tone suddenly very serious as he leans back and looks at me like I’ve just told him the moon landing was faked.

“Do you see that spot on the floor right there? That’s where I used to open my Christmas presents. I can’t have sex two feet away from where I once got really excited unwrapping a My Size Barbie.

“Why not?” he asks. “Christmas presents are a happy memory. We can make more happy memories right here on the couch.”

“Hold on, Grey!” I say, leaning further away as he turns to kiss me again. “That chair right there? That’s my dad’s chair and everyday I’ve been in this house, he’s been in that chair. Having sex on this couch would be like having sex in front of my dad.”

“I’m starting to see why you were a virgin when you went to college,” He says dryly. I slap him playfully on the arm, but he ignores my resentful protest. “You’re not being serious right? I mean, you don’t really intend to not have sex as long as we’re here.”

“Yes,” I tell him. “No sex.”

“Then pack your bags,” He says, standing up from the couch so quickly he nearly dumps me on the floor. “We’re going back to Seattle.”

“Christian…”

“I could get us a hotel room.”

“Does it really sound so bad to spend a weekend hanging out and talking and just having good, wholesome fun?”

“I would describe being inside of you as good wholesome fun,” He says and I roll my eyes.

“I don’t want to leave, and I don’t want you to leave. I just want to hang out, and spend real time with you, and try to get to know you again, like I used to. And I want to do it with my clothes on.”

He stares at me for a long moment before drawing in a long, exaggerated breath and exhaling sharply. “Fine. What do you want to do then, Anastasia?”

“We could play a board game,” I suggest.

“A board game?”

“I have all the classics,” I tell him proudly and thankfully, he actually laughs.

“Well then, a board game it is. Bring it on, Miss Steele.”

I smile as I get up off the couch and make my way to the game closet where I sort through the brightly colored cardboard boxes until I find the Monopoly game.

“You ready to cry, Grey?” I ask as I hold up the game for him and he smirks at me.

“Monopoly? Come on, Ana… You know who you’re playing against right?”

“The future loser of Monopoly?” I taunt him and he shakes his head and lets out a small, evil sounding chuckle.

“Fine, let’s play,” He says. “But don’t think I’m going to go easy on you just because I love you. I’m going to take you to the cleaners, Anastasia.”

“I don’t want you to go easy on me, Christian. That way, when I beat you, I’ll know it’s legit.”

I lay out the board and money out on the living room floor and set everything up for us to begin. To my disappointment, Christian wasn’t wrong about it being a mistake playing him. I’ve never seen someone play Monopoly so aggressively or have such an intense strategy of what to buy, when to buy it, even what order to mortgage off his properties. Although this game normally takes hours to play, thirty minutes in, I’m desperately clinging to the few properties I’ve just barely been able to hold onto while he’s building housing developments all over the board.

“Have mercy on me,” I beg as I land on the condominium complex he’s built on Marvin Gardens which will completely clean me out. He laughs and shakes his head.

“I didn’t become successful in business going easy on people, cough it up,” He says, gesturing for me to not only hand him the last of my cash, but also the few properties I have in my possession. I’m bankrupt, and he rubs it in my face by clicking his tongue as he looks over his newly acquired assets.

“You really need to diversity your portfolio, Miss Steele,” He lectures me. “I’m not even sure I want this… do you know how much money it would take to make these properties profitable?”

“You could give them back,” I suggest.

“Oh, Ana! If you want them back, of course I’ll give them to you,” He says.

“Then yes, I would like them back,” I tell him, holding my hands out for the cards but he smirks.

“Oh, you’ll have to buy them from me,” He chuckles. “For a three percent increase on the appraised property value.”

“I don’t have any money!” I tell him and he smiles.

“Now, let’s see… what could you give me that would make me willing to give you your properties back. There has to be something… What. Could. It. Be?”

I glare at him. “You want me to whore myself out for a couple of lousy properties that aren’t worth anything?”

“Oh, baby. You’re not a whore,” He says. “But… if you want, we could spend the night pretending like you are.”

I give him an indignant look as I reach down for one of the little green houses and hurl it at his face and he laughs as he swats it away. He looks at me, arrogantly, and it’s difficult to keep up my reproachful glare as I fight not to smile.

“You know, I used to call this game the friendship ender because Kate and Ethan were so competitive that every time we played, we’d end up in a big fight… Now I think it might just be the relationship ender.”

He laughs again. “You knew who you were up against when you picked this game.” He argues. “My first hostile takeover involved prying one of these property cards out of Elliot’s hands.”

“Well then let’s play something different, something I’m good at,” I pout and he gives me his lascivious grin again.

“Now… What. Are. You. Good. At?” He says with the same wondering tone he used when he was trying to get me to agree to terms to take my properties back. I briefly think about throwing another house at him, but I have a better idea.

“Oh… I know what I’m good at,” I tell him, seductively.

He raises an eyebrow at me. “You do?” He asks, his voice dark and heady as if he’s contemplating whether or not he’s finally won me over.

“Oh yes…” I purr, moving onto my hands and knees and crawling slowly over the Monopoly board towards him, holding his gaze as I purposefully move my behind back and forth. I stop when I’m only inches away from his lips.

“Do you want to play, Mr. Grey?” I ask.

“Yes,” He whispers.

“Right here?”

“Right now,” He replies, his voice deeper now as he’s slowly overwhelmed by his need, and just as he leans forward to take my lips with his, I pull away.

“Good!” I exclaim brightly. “I’ll go get the Scattergories game.”

“Ana!” He groans, throwing his head back with frustration, and I smirk at him as I turn around and head back down the hallway to the game closet.

Next Chapter

Chapter 19

Image result for paparazzi car

Google Alert: Christian Grey

The Seattle Times, June 1st 2010: The [Business] Empire Strikes Back. Christian Grey has finally responded to the charges of sexual harassment brought against him Monday morning by ex-employee Leila Williams in a statement released by GEH Publicist Jacqueline Knight, “Mr. Grey is both shocked and disheartened by Miss Williams’s false accusations as neither Mr. Grey nor GEH tolerate any kind of behavior which is degrading or threatening to any employee.”


“No, Mom…” I groan into the phone, rolling my eyes as I watch the buildings pass through the backseat window of the Lincoln on the way to my first day at SIP.

“It just didn’t make sense to me, Anastasia,” My mom argues. “I thought you hated him! You wouldn’t talk to him, you wouldn’t talk about him… Now all of a sudden you’re in Seattle, living in his building, working in his office… and then these reports come out and you’re name is all over the news…”

“Great, Mom. I’m really glad to know that you think so highly of me that you would believe that I would have sex with him just for an internship.”

“Ana, I know how hard it’s been for you. I’m not saying that you would do something like this, I’m saying that I know you’ve missed him and that he has a lot of power now, and he’s very charismatic and persuasive…”

“Mom!” I snap.

“Just tell me that he isn’t taking advantage of you.”

“He isn’t taking advantage of me. Look, I can’t talk about this right now. We’re pulling up to my building and there are paparazzi outside. I’ll call you later.”

“Okay, let me know what you hear from Harvard. I love you.”

“Bye, Mom,” I say irritably, and as Ryan comes to a stop in front of the curb at SIP, Luke jumps out of the passenger’s seat and walks around to open the back door closest to the entrance. The second the door is open, I see dozens of flashing lights behind Luke’s silhouette and though he reaches into the car for my hand to pull me out into the crowd, I maneuver around him and step out of the car on my own. I still haven’t forgiven him for stopping me from going after Elena yesterday and we haven’t spoken a word to each other since.

Holding up my purse and jacket to shield as much of my face as possible, I walk forward until I’m through the front doors and in a small, very commercial looking reception area. While I try to ignore the lights still flashing at me through the glass door, I look at to the two women standing behind the front desk, both looking at me with an air of uncertainty.

“Hello,” I greet them. “My name is Anastasia Steele, I’m the Implementation Director from Grey Enterprises Holdings.”

“Miss Steele, yes of course,” The woman seated at the computer says. “My name is Claire and I’m the receptionist here and this is Natalie, Mr. Hyde’s assistant.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Miss Steele,” Natalie says, holding her hand out to me. She smiles as I shake her hand and then reaches down to dial an extension on the phone.

“Jack, Miss Steele has arrived,” She says and as she hangs up the phone, I feel a warm breeze behind me and turn to see Brian Clark, Ros’s intern, who I thought had come across as sexist in orientation on our first day at GEH. He flashes a badge at Luke, who reluctantly lets him pass.

“What are you doing here?” I ask him and he raises an eyebrow at me.

“Mr. Grey reclaimed the project Miss Bailey had me assigned to. I’ve been reassigned to SIP,” He says.

“Oh, I thought I was on this project alone…”

“I’m sorry, Anastasia, right?” He asks, not waiting for me to confirm before he continues. “Look, I know you have uh… been promised things by Mr. Grey in return for certain, shall we say… favors that you’ve provided for him, but this is real business now. You study English, and I’m sure that’s fulfilling to you, but Grey Enterprises Holdings needs a certain level of expertise on this project. That’s why I’m here. I know business and Miss Bailey and Mr. Grey know that I can make this place a success. Don’t worry, you’ll be included in the whole process. It should be a great learning experience for you.”

I raise an incredulous eyebrow at him but don’t get the chance to respond because someone behind me calls my name.

“Ah, Miss Steele!” A man says, smiling broadly as he holds his hand out for mine. “My name is Jack Hyde. I’m the Commissioning Editor of SIP.”

“Mr. Hyde,” Brian says, stepping in front of me and taking Jack’s hand instead. “Brian Clark, I’ll be heading this implementation from the GEH side. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Hyde gives him a confused look. “I’m sorry, who are you?” He asks. “I was under the impression that Miss Steele was to be the director on this project.”

“Miss Steele will be working in conjunction with myself throughout the duration of this implementation,” Brian says, “However, Miss Bailey has asked me personally to oversee the project.”

“Miss Bailey?” Jack says, his eyes shifting slightly as he tries to sort through his confusion and, when his face lights up with sudden recognition, I feel a wave of dread…

“That’s right, I apologize, I remember Miss Bailey’s email now. You’ll have to excuse me, it’s been a hectic morning.” He turns and waves his assistant over. “Natalie, this is the intern Miss Bailey has assigned to be Miss Steele’s assistant over the course of the summer, will you please show him to his desk?”

“Assistant?” Brian says, the horror apparent in his tone, but Natalie ignores his shock.

“I’d love to, Jack,” She says, turning her smile on Brian. “If you’ll follow me, I’ve cleaned out a work space for you near Miss Steele’s office.”

Brian is dumbfounded while he’s lead away by Natalie and as he looks back at me, clearly expecting me to say something, I smirk at him and turn to face Jack Hyde.

“Mr. Hyde,” I greet him, finally having the opportunity to shake his hand.

“Please, Jack,” He replies lightheartedly. “And, can I call you Anastasia?”

“Ana,” I correct him and he smiles in return.

“Well, Ana, if you’ll follow me, I will show you to your new office,” He turns and leads me through the small, slightly outdated building overfilled with filing cabinets, bookcases and a random assortment of desks all overflowing with papers, files, and what look like thick, unbound manuscripts. As he leads me to the door a few feet away from the desk Natalie is showing Brian around, I think to myself that one of the first changes that needs to be made here is the filing and organization system. This place is a mess…

“Here you are, Ana,” Jack says as he opens the door to my office for me, and I step inside and look around appreciatively. It’s not very big, in fact you could probably fit ten of my offices inside of Christian’s, but the desk looks nice, and the chair behind it looks comfortable. There is even an unruly looking ficus in the corner that adds a touch of life to the place.

“This is perfect,” I say gratefully as I turn back around to face him.

“I’m glad to hear that,” Jack replies. “If you’d like, you can take a few minutes to get settled in. We have a meeting with the department heads at 9:30 to go over your plan for our integration into GEH. It should take most of the day, and there are a lot of big personalities to take on here, so I’ll give you a few minutes to prepare.”

“Thanks, Jack,” I say and he winks at me before turning to leave the office, but before he disappears through the door, he stops and turns back to face me.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” He says. “Welcome to SIP, Miss Steele.”

I smile at him as he leaves the room and closes the door behind him. I glance around the office, mentally noting the things that I want to bring into make it feel a little more cozy, but before I pull out everything I’ve spent the last week preparing for this meeting, I hear my phone vibrate on the desk.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Per your request…

Date: June 1st 2010 08:57 AM

To: Anastasia Steele

The elevator code to OUR apartment has been changed. Its is now 121907.

I know there are photographers outside of your building. I’m sorry. Please, try to stay at SIP as much as possible. You can send Sawyer out if you need anything.

I miss you already.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, INC

 

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: POW

Date: June 1st 2010 08:58 AM

To: Christian Grey

Thank-you for changing the code, although I will say that part of me is a little sad it isn’t my birthday anymore. It was sweet, and I liked that it had significance to you rather than something random.

You don’t have to worry about me leaving. I don’t want to face the photographers anymore than you do. It’s weird having people screaming at you as you walk into a building. Besides I’ll be in meetings most of the day anyway.

I’ll see you tonight back at OUR apartment later tonight. Have a good day at work.

Xxx

Your Ana

Anastasia Steele

Implementation Director, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

I set my phone down and begin organizing the files and information I’ve compiled for the meeting, highlighting key points I want to focus on and questions I have about the way the organization is currently running, but a few minutes later I’m interrupted by an incoming email once again.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Significance

Date: June 1st 2010 09:04 AM

To: Anastasia Steele

The new code is not random at all. On the contrary, it may be one of the most significant numbers of my life.

I love you, baby.

Christian Grey

CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

I smile down at the email, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip as I read the three words that make the paparazzi, the disparaging headlines plastered across newspapers and gossip sites, and facing an investigation at Harvard all worth it. We’re in love and nothing that is being said about us can change that. That’s what is getting me through this, knowing that no matter what happens, in the end, we’ll still have each other.

I hit reply on the email, but before I can begin typing I’m interrupted by the phone ringing on my desk. Part of me wonders if someone is calling me by mistake. I mean, I’ve only been in this office for a few minutes and I don’t know the number so I haven’t given it to anyone… but then I realize it might be Christian so I hurry to answer it.

“Anastasia Steele.”

“Hey, Ana, it’s Ros. Sorry, I should have warned you about Brian, but I’ve only just gotten a chance to call you now. We’re still dealing with all this fallout from this lawsuit and it doesn’t help that we have a new receptionist fielding calls…”

“It’s okay,” I assure her. “He did come in here thinking he was heading this implementation so it was a little bit of a shock for him when he was told he’d be my assistant.”

“Is it vindictive of me to be happy about that?” She asks with a laugh. “I’ve never seen someone backhandedly belittle women the way that man does. His mother must not have loved him enough.”

I laugh as she continues.

“Anyway, just give me a call if you have any questions or need my help with anything. I’ve been fairly busy fending off Elena Lincoln this morning, but I’ll make sure Andrea and Olivia know to get you through to me, even if it’s interrupting something.”

“What’s going on with Elena Lincoln?” I ask and she sighs.

“She’s not happy with the audit that I’ve scheduled with her and she’s been trying to get out of it since yesterday morning. She’s already called for Christian three different times this morning and tried to schedule a meeting with him, like she thinks he’ll go over my head and stop me from doing due diligence on my projects.”

“Is Christian meeting with her?” I ask, alarmed.

“No, he’s overstretched as it is dealing with his lawyers, and the state project, and well… everything else. Every time she calls he has Olivia direct the call to me and that seems to be aggravating her even more. I expect she’ll show up here sometime this afternoon, but that’s fine… I’ll just have Taylor revoke her security permissions. If she wants to be in the Executive Office, she can get a guest badge, and if she wants a guest badge, she can make an appointment. Of course, she already has an appointment, and it’s for her audit,” Ros adds and there is a hint of spitefulness in her tone that gives me great joy.

Ros doesn’t like her either and the fact that Elena is fighting this hard against the audit means that she’s hiding something. Once Ros finds out what that is, Christian will finally be able to see what she really is.

There is a knock on the door and I look up to see Brian begrudgingly stick his head into my office.

“They’re gathering in the conference room,” He says bitterly and I nod.

“Ros, I have to go,” I tell her. “I should be able to complete everything in the implementation guide after this meeting and once it’s finished, I’ll send it over to you.”

“Sounds good. Thanks, Ana.”

I hang up the phone and hurry to gather the files in front of me before making my way to the conference room for my first meeting as the interim director of SIP.

Hyde wasn’t kidding when he said the meeting would take most of the day. We spend hours and hours going through the responsibilities and day to day of each sector of SIP: agents, editors, sales, marketing, art and design… Some of the department heads seem to be accepting of the need for change while others are more resistant. I spend probably close to an hour arguing with the agents about changing and standardizing the query process and by the end, each one of them is looking at me as though they think I’m an idiot. But Jack is on my side, and both Ros and Christian have approved this plan, so I stand firm and move on.

When the meeting finally comes to an end late in the afternoon, I return to my new office to update and complete the implementation guide to send back to Ros and begin reading through the works of our current authors. When I walk through the door though, I’m immediately surrounded by the sweet fragrance drifting from the full bouquet of over-sized sunflowers, bright pink tulips, and round green chrysanthemums, that is sitting on my desk. It’s a little… bright for Christian but maybe that’s what he was going for. He knows exactly how stressful these meetings can be. Perhaps he’s being purposefully symbolic. I lean down and smell one of the tulips, and then smile as I reach for the card.

Congratulations on your first day at SIP, I hope these flowers will brighten up your office.

-Elena Lincoln

I gape down at the card and then turn and glare at the bouquet on my desk. What the fuck is she doing? Is this supposed to be some kind of peace offering to stop me from fighting against her? Maybe she thinks that if she sucks up to me, I’ll talk to Ros about the audit… But that seems unlikely. Elena knows I hate her. She knows that I’d never do anything to help her, no matter what it was for. This a game, and I’m not sure what it’s for, but I’m not going to play with her right now.

I grab a hold of the vase and carry it with me as I storm angrily to the security office GEH has added and find Luke staring out the window at the few photographers lingering on the sidewalk out front.

“Get rid of these,” I say, thrusting the vase into his hands, and since I take him by surprise, he fumbles briefly with the vase as he tries not to let it fall to the ground.

“Miss Steele?” He asks.

“Get rid of them! Keep this shit in my office, Luke,” I repeat and I turn around and storm angrily back to my office. It takes a great deal of effort to settle down and get back to work, though not as much effort as it takes to try and ignore the still lingering scent of the flowers that permeates the air of my office like a toxic gas. Between the paparazzi, my mother, that long and frustrating meeting, and the very unwelcome reminder of the bitch troll in the middle of my day… I’m feeling fried. All I want is to go home and relax, have a quiet dinner with Christian and maybe watch a movie or read a book. Unfortunately, I’m in charge here now, so the work, already piled up on my desk, can’t wait.

Once I’ve updated the implementation guide and sent it back to Ros, I begin skimming through the published works that are currently bringing in the most revenue for SIP, taking notes on who worked on each project as I go. I’m pleased to discover that most of the material is actually really good. So good in fact, that I end up wasting more time than I mean to by getting sucked into a novel by Boyce Fox, who it seems is currently carrying most of this company on just this one book. I’m several chapters into the story when finally, I’m drawn back into the real world by the ping of my email.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Flower Delivery

Date: June 1st 2010 03:57 PM

To: Anastasia Steele

I heard that Elena had flowers delivered to you today and I’m sorry. I’ve just gotten off the phone with her and she will not be contacting you or sending you anything again.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

I stare at the email dumbfounded…

He called her? But I thought… I mean, the point of him shifting Elena to Ros was so that he wouldn’t be in contact with her at all anymore! And then it hits me… that’s why she sent flowers to me. She’s not trying to suck up or win me over, she’s trying to get ahold of Christian and she knew that the easiest way to do that was through me. Fuck, I hate how well she knows him… How am I supposed to keep him away from her, when she knows exactly what to do to get him to seek her out? How did he even know about the flowers anyway?

But I know the answer to that too…

I clench my teeth together as I reach down and press the zero on my phone.

“Front desk,” Claire says brightly.

“Claire, this is Ana. Will you please send Luke back here for a moment?”

“Right away, ma’am,” She replies, and only a few seconds after I hang up the phone, I hear three gentle knocks on the door.

“Come in, Luke,” I say sharply and the door eases open with a creak.

“Miss Steele?” He says in the same low, even tone he uses when he addresses Christian. I wait for him to close the door behind him and then glare at him.

“You told Christian that Elena had flowers sent to me?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Don’t you see that that is exactly what she wanted to happen? She’s been trying to talk to him all morning and because of you, she not only got ahold of him, but she got him to call her.”

“I’m sorry, Miss Steele, I have instructions to inform Mr. Grey of any interactions between you and Mrs. Lincoln or any attempts she makes to contact you.”

“I don’t care what your instructions are, his family and I are trying to build a wall between her and Christian and by preventing me from finding out the truth about her involvement in this lawsuit and giving him reason to contact her privately, you’re undoing everything we’re trying to build.”

“I apologize, Miss Steele, but my job is not to keep Mr. Grey away from Mrs. Lincoln. My job is to protect you and to follow Mr. Grey’s orders, and his orders were for me to inform him if Mrs. Lincoln attempted to contact you in anyway.”

“Well you’re my CPO and I’m telling you that the subject of Mrs. Lincoln is off limits when it comes to Christian.”

“I’m sorry, that’s not how it works… “

“Come on, Luke,” I say, my voice sounding a little desperate as I realize arguing with him when he’s like this is like yelling at a wall. “Can’t you just drop the whole security detail thing for one second and understand that I need you to do this as my friend? She’s a manipulative, abusive, horrible person and it’s really important that she not be in contact with Christian. Please…”

He takes in a long drawn out breath and then stares at me with a defeated look in his eye. “Ana, this is why I didn’t fight to be your CPO when Mr. Grey assigned you Prescott again last week. Part of my job is to keep you from doing things that you want to do but that you’re not supposed to. I can’t be your friend over being your CPO… I did that when I was in Cambridge when I took you up that mountain and I got fired for it. When we’re out in public, I have to be your CPO before anything else, and right now that means that I have to keep you away from Elena Lincoln and let Mr. Grey know if she’s attempting to reach out to you.”

“Some things are more important than your job, Luke. I thought that you would think that I was one of them.”

“You are, Ana. My job is to keep you safe, I take that very seriously.”

“Luke, this isn’t about my safety. She can’t do anything to me worse than what she’s already done. This is about Christian and what that woman does to him. I need you to do this, as my friend, not my CPO.”

“I can’t. I have my orders, Ana,” He says, quietly, breaking eye contact with me, and I feel a surge of anger. It’s like he’s Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. My best friend Luke, who I know would move heaven and earth for me if I needed him to, and this horrible security robot Luke, who is so black and white about his job to protect me, that he’s going to be the reason I get hurt.

“Get out of my office,” I say bitterly as I turn angrily back towards my computer screen.

“Ana…”

“I said get out!”

He nods and then steps silently into the hallway, and once the door is closed behind him, I bring my email back up and quickly type out a response to Christian.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Unneeded Phone Calls

Date: June 1st 2010 04:11 PM

To: Christian Grey

Why did you call her? Don’t you see that you’ve just played right into her hand? She sent me those flowers to get you to contact her because you kicked her out of your apartment and have been ignoring her phone calls all day. I don’t want you talking to her, period. I did the appropriate thing and had them immediately thrown out. I ignored her, as you SHOULD have.

Anastasia Steele

Implementation Director, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

I hit send and then try and return to my work, but it only takes another minute or so for Christian’s response to come in.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Careful

Date: June 1st 2010 04:13 PM

To: Anastasia Steele

Anastasia, I do not need you telling me what is and is not the necessary course of action when dealing with my employees. There was a problem, it’s handled. I was simply informing you of the outcome as a courtesy.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

His response is irritating, a reiteration of every reason I don’t want him talking to her in the first place. He thinks he’s in control, but he’s not. That illusion is just another one of Elena’s games.

There’s still a ton of work to get through by the time five o’clock rolls around, so I gather the few manuscripts I wanted to get through today and take them with me. Once I’ve powered everything down, I gather my things and make my way out to reception where Luke is waiting for me, ready to go. He holds up his jacket in front of me as we walk out of the building and into the blinding flashes from the photographers screaming questions at me. As I make my way to the SUV idling on the curb, I type out a quick text to Christian letting him know I’m on the way home.

Luke is quiet when we get into the car, and it stays that way as Ryan pulls out onto the street towards Escala. I’m in the back, so, unfortunately, I can’t turn off Luke’s shit music as we sit in the evening traffic that is going to make me late getting home. Christian still hasn’t responded to my text and it’s been twenty minutes, so I assume that means he’s busy dealing with work or maybe something with the lawsuit, and that leaves me with a sinking feeling deep inside my stomach.

He’s been so stressed out the past few days and me fighting with him isn’t helping that. I don’t know how to balance this… being his emotional support while also not accepting him talking to her, especially in private. I don’t know… Maybe he needs to see Flynn. It’s like he’s on a sinking boat, bailing water, but everytime he gets ahead, the boat springs another leak. Why can’t we just have one boring week? Maybe I need to see Flynn…

I can feel Luke looking at me in the mirror on the visor of the front passenger’s seat and when I glance up, I see that he looks worried, although he looks away the second I catch him staring at me. He focuses his attention on the line of cars creeping forward ahead of the SUV and when we come to another dead stop, he sighs and reaches down to change the radio station. Despite my best efforts, a smile creeps across my face as the soft music of Train fills the car.

When we get back to Escala, I put the new code into the elevator and that gives me a sense of peace as we make our way up to the penthouse. At least Elena can’t get in here… that’s one less way she has access to him. The doors to the elevator open and I immediately make my way to Christian’s office, but he isn’t there. I lean around the corner to see if maybe he’s in the library across the hall, but he isn’t. I decide to check our bedroom but once I’m out in the great room, I hear the low thumping sound of music drifting down the stairs.

I head upstairs to check it out and find Christian in the new gym we put together over the weekend. He has Eminem blasting over the stereo while he uses an extremely heavy looking set of weights to do bench presses with Taylor standing behind his head as a spotter. I watch him for a minute, impressed by his strength as he lifts the bar again and again. Neither of them notice me hovering in the entryway, so I turn around and head back downstairs to get a glass of wine and change out of my work clothes.

Because I’m feeling so mentally fatigued from the long day, I decide to crawl into bed and read the manuscripts, rather than work out of my office upstairs. I don’t get very far though as only twenty minutes later, Christian comes into our bedroom, relief washing across his face when he sees me sitting on the bed.

“There you are. I didn’t know you’d gotten home yet,” He says. “How was your first day?”

“Fine,” I tell him. “How about you?”

“Stressful. I need to be focusing all of my energy into this fiber optics project. It’s the biggest contract GEH has ever gotten and it requires a great deal of time and careful planning, but with this lawsuit taking up so much of my day…”

“It’ll be over soon,” I assure him and he lets out a long, drawn out breath before kneeling on the bed and kissing me.

“I’m not sure I like not having you in my office anymore,” He whispers against my lips.

“I know,” I reply, “But I live here now, so I’ll be here every night and every morning when you wake up.”

He moans at the thought and pushes me back into the pillows, his lips becoming more insistent upon mine until his tongue invades my mouth. I gasp, breaking away from the kiss, and his lips move down to the line of my jaw as his fingers begin creeping over my stomach towards the band of my leggings.

“Christian, you’re all sweaty!” I giggle because the light touch of his hands on my sides tickles. I try to push him away, but he doesn’t budge.

“Good,” He replies. “Let’s get you that way too.” He slides his hand under my panties and automatically the muscles south of my navel clench as his fingers find my clitoris. My mouth drops open as I enjoy the sensation of his fingers rubbing slow circles around me until my desire is heightened enough that his fingers become slick with my arousal.

“Oh, baby,” He groans, “I love feeling how wet you get for me.” He thrusts a finger inside of me and I gasp again, clawing at his t-shirt still damp with sweat. I want to feel him against me.

“Take your clothes off,” I tell him and gives me a wicked smile.

“But I thought you had objections, Miss Steele. Perhaps I should take a shower instead…” He eases another finger inside of me, slowly pumping them in and out as he curls them around in a come hither motion against the front wall of my vagina.

“No!” I cry out, losing myself in the heat that slowly begins to consume me. “I don’t have objections. I want you, Christian.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, pressing his thumb against my clitoris and working it back in forth in tandem with his fingers moving in and out of me. It sends a jolt of pleasure through me so intense I involuntarily squirm away from him but he lowers himself down on top of me to keep me in place.

“Oh no, baby. You need to be still…” He tells me, and as I lie there, trying not to move as he slides his fingers in and out, I begin to build, higher and higher, until I’m tight around him.

“That’s right, Ana. Should I make you come this way?”

“No,” I whimper.

“You’re sure?”

“No, I mean, yes, I’m sure. Christian… Ah!” I gasp, the heat now swirling around me, transforming into the overwhelming sense of pleasure that tells me how close I’m getting.

“What do you want me to do, Anastasia?” He asks. He forces his fingers deeper inside of me, holding them there, pushing hard against me and then swirling them around. I tilt my pelvis upwards, trying to put off my orgasm but I know it’s no use. I’m almost there, just at the brink…

“Fuck me, Christian,” I tell him. “I don’t want you to make me come with your hand, I want you to make me come with your cock.”

“Oh, Ana,” He says, a hint of disapproval hidden beneath the carnal need in his tone. “Such a dirty mouth. Maybe I should fuck that instead.”

“Christian, please!” I cry out. He moves his fingers back, keeping me just on the edge of release but not pushing me far enough to find it. I watch hungrily as he sits up, releases his erection, and then settles down between my legs. His fingers disappear and then are replaced as he thrusts deep inside of me and I immediately tip over the edge and begin to come, exquisitely, all around him. He pounds into me with savage force while I ride the wave of my orgasm, intensifying the pleasure, prolonging the ecstasy, whispering the words in my ear that keep the lust ignited inside of me.

“You’re so beautiful when you come, Anastasia,” He says when I’ve come back down to earth. “I want to see it again.”

So quickly, I hardly have time to react, he pulls out of me and then grips my hips and one of my legs to flip me over onto my stomach. Once I’m face down in the pillow, he grabs onto my leggings and roughly yanks them the rest of the way off of me. I squeal as his hand comes down, hard, on my behind and then in one swift movement, he’s inside of me again. I push back into him as he leans down and wraps my hair around his hand, pulling slightly while he thrusts in and out of me and to my surprise, the slight amount of pain from him pulling at my hair seems to increase the pleasure everywhere else.

I scream into the pillow as I’m overcome by raw, animalistic desire. It’s almost as if I’ve lost my mind and I don’t know if it’s the pheromones radiating off of him after his workout or just the need to release the stress from the day. The only thing I can think of is getting more, doing more… I want him to do things to me he’s never done before, to push me farther than he ever has before…

“Oh, Ana,” He growls as the hand not tangled in my hair, digs into my hip. “You’re ass is so fucking sexy. I love the way you look like this. I can’t wait to claim your ass baby.”

I bite down on my lip and in a moment of sex dazed braveness, I whisper, “Do it.”

“What?” He asks as if he didn’t hear me correctly.

“Do it, Christian. You want to claim my ass? Do it.”

He groans and then leans over me, pushing deep inside me again and eliciting a quick, high shriek as he yanks back on my hair and I feel him hit against my cervix.

“It doesn’t work like that, Anastasia,” He says in a low, deep voice that is thick with carnal promise. “If you want me to fuck your ass, then your ass is going to require extensive preparation.”

He punctuates every few words with a sharp thrust and by the time he’s finished speaking, my entire body is trembling, my breath coming in short, shallow pants.

“Okay,” I reply and I feel his teeth sink into my earlobe.

“What am I doing to you?” He asks. “You’re turning into quite the wanton little creature.”

“Yes,” I reply, unable to get out more than one syllable as his movements inside of me have reawakened the pulsing heat inside of me that tells me my orgasm is fast approaching. His hand moves away from my hips and he brings it down hard on my ass again. I clench around him as the sting rocks through me and hear him exhale sharply. He does it again, and again and by the third slap, I explode around him in a mind boggling orgasm that rockets through my entire body and wipes away all sense of thought and coherence.

I’m lost, completely overcome by the ecstasy and when I hear him yell my name from somewhere far off in the distance and feel him erupt inside of me, the pleasure peaks again until I can no longer hold myself up and I collapse onto the bed.

I’m shaking when he lies down next to me and pulls me into him, kissing my hair as he wraps me in his arms. We lie there for what feels like forever, and yet when he eventually does roll out of bed, it feels like not enough time at all.

“Where are you going?” I pout as I watch him pick up his phone and frown down at whatever he reads.

“I’m going to take a shower,” He says distractedly while he begins typing on the screen of his iPhone. When he looks back at me, I can see the tension in his face again.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Nothing, just… It’s just my lawyers,” He says. “Do you want to take a shower with me?”

“No, I want to lay in bed with you,” I tell him and the small, crooked smile he gives me isn’t enough to erase the strain in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, baby. There are a few things I’ve got to take care of. You stay here and relax. It’ll make me feel better knowing you’re in my bed.”

I give him a sad kind of smile as he turns and disappears into the bathroom, but as I lie back into the pillows and listen to the water of the shower turn on, my phone vibrates on the bedside table and I turn to look at it.


Google Alert: Christian Grey

TMZ, June 1st 2010: Grey’s Mistress Revealed. Check out the exclusive pictures of Christian Grey‘s hot intern, Anastasia Steele, arriving at Seattle Independent Press (a new acquisition of GEH) this morning. According to whistleblower Leila Williams, Miss Steele’s appointment at SIP is one of the many perks she has received for providing excellent and very personal “service” to the CEO.


I click on the article and scroll through the dozen or so pictures of me getting out of the car this morning and making my way into SIP. You can’t make out my face clearly in any of them thanks to my jacket and purse and, in a few rare cases, Luke, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. In fact, I know it will probably just make them more aggressive in trying to get the first real photo.

I let out a defeated sigh as I climb out of bed, pull my leggings back on and head into the bathroom. Christian is already in the shower and he doesn’t notice me through the cloud of steam that fills the room, so I slide open the door a little to see him better.

“What’s wrong?” He asks when he sees me watching him.

“Just… there are pictures of me online. I just got the Google Alert…”

“I’m sorry, Anastasia,” He says, truly regretful and I give him a weak, I-know-it’s-not-your-fault smile.

“Maybe we should get away this weekend,” I tell him. “I mean, we’ve been cooped up in the apartment and we can’t go anywhere in the city. What if we went out of town for a few days, just the two of us?”

“Where do you want to go?” He asks.

“I don’t know.”

“We could fly down to Cabo, or Puerto Vallarta,” He suggests.

“I think leaving the country is a little extravagant for a weekend…”

“New York?”

“No!” I say, a little too harshly and he blanches. “I mean, we’ve already been to New York together,” I add, trying to cover my idiotic reaction. “I want to go somewhere I’ve never been with you.” Or at least somewhere without bad memories.

“So Bora Bora is out?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes.”

“Well then, how about Friday after work, we go to the airport and we buy tickets for whatever flight is leaving next? We’ll leave it up to chance. Like airline roulette.”

“That sounds kind of romantic,” I reply with a smile.

“Shocking, right?” He asks

“Not at all,” I tell him.

He reaches over to turn off the water and as he steps out of the shower, I lean up onto my tiptoes and lightly press my lips into his. He brushes my hair away from my face and stares back at me with look so full of love and awe that I feel as though it could make my heart stop. He kisses me once more, his lips are gentle against mine and lingering there just long enough to elicit a shiver that runs through my body and reinvigorates the desire within me that should be sated.

“What do you want to do now?” I whisper against his lips and I feel, rather than see him smile.

“Oh, Ana, I think you know what I’d like to do. Unfortunately, what I have to do, is meet my father for dinner. We’re going over some of the things he’s gotten through with the lawsuit today. I have some decisions to make. Do you want to go with me?”

“Do you want me to?” I ask.

“Not if you don’t want to.”

“Well… I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to, it’s the photographers… Can your dad come here?”

“He’s already made reservations,” He tells me. “Don’t worry about it, Anastasia. Stay in tonight and relax. I’ll draw you a bath and then have Mrs. Jones make you something for dinner. I’ll only be a couple of hours and then we can do some of the things I would, in fact, like to do.”

“It’s a date,” I say, and he smiles at me before I turn around and head out of the bathroom.

An hour later, Christian has left and I’m swaddled in a plush bathrobe, my hair wound tightly in a soft fluffy bath towel, and I’m finishing the delicious mushroom bisque Mrs. Jones has prepared. When my soup is gone, I get up to put the dishes away but Mrs. Jones insists that she’ll take care of everything for me, so instead I head back to my bathroom to blow dry my hair and get dressed. Even though Mrs. Jones had my clothes brought up and put away in the closet with Christian’s while I was at work this afternoon, I still pull my favorite pair of his sweats and the Harvard t-shirt out of his drawers.

I take the book I was reading earlier off the bedside table and head back out to the living room, to read and cuddle up with a blanket on the couch. Halfway through the chapter though, I find that I’m having difficulty concentrating on the text. Mrs. Jones has disappeared, where to, I’m not sure, and the apartment is dead silent. I think the google alert is getting to me more than I thought and as a result I’m realizing that I’m not really comfortable alone right now. It gives me too much time to think and to worry about the lawsuit and Christian and Harvard… I try to distract myself by turning on the TV but it doesn’t help. I need company.

My first thought is to call Kate and ask her to come over, but she’s in Mercer Island, or maybe even Bellevue, right now and by the time she leaves and fights through the traffic to get here, we would probably only have forty minutes or so before Christian came home. It doesn’t seem fair to make her drive all the way over here and then ask her to leave.

I let out a long sigh and then turn around to face the foyer, my lips pushed together in an irresolute pout as I try and decide how much holding onto this grudge and feeling like I’m right is worth spending the next couple hours alone. With a defeated sigh, I get up and make my way towards the foyer and around the corner to Taylor’s office.

Luke is sitting at the desk typing on a computer and looking a little bit bored, which I suppose is a problem for a guy whose job it is to look after a person who has spent the entire night doing absolutely nothing. I lean against the door frame and stare at him until he finally looks up, jumping slightly when he sees me standing there.

“Jesus, Ana,” He says irritably, and I let out a breathy laugh.

“Scared you,” I taunt him and he shakes his head before turning a more serious look on me.

“What can I do for you, Miss Steele?”

“Well, you could stop calling me Miss Steele.

“Ana…”

“Luke, I get it, okay? I’m sorry. You’re right, I asked for you to be my CPO and I should have known that sometimes that was going to mean that your job had to come before our friendship. I’m sorry I’ve been so rude to you today. I know that I keep putting you in awkward positions with Christian, and I don’t mean to. I’m not going to ask you to do things anymore that can get you in trouble and I won’t hold it against you if you piss me off because you have to do your job.”

“Well… thank you,” Luke says. “And I’ll try and find a better balance between being professional and being your best friend.”

“It’s kind of lonely out here…” I tell him. “Do you want to watch a movie with me?”

“Sure,” He says, a smile creeping across his face which I return as I watch him close down his system and then walk around the desk to join me.

“So what’s it going to be, Steele?” He asks as he plops down on the couch. “It’s a Wonderful Life? Some Like it Hot? Wait… let me guess, It Happened One Night?”

I laugh. “Well, as much as I know that you love that movie, what if we watched something from this century?”

“I’d die of shock,” He says dryly, making me laugh again.

“You’re not being fair. You always say I force you to watch what I want to watch but how many Tarantino movies have I sat through for you?”

“Not nearly enough,” He replies with a sly smile and I shake my head.

“Well, Elliot is always telling me how much he loved Avatar and I saw it on On-Demand earlier, why don’t we watch that?”

Avatar it is,” Luke says, and I pick up the remote to order the movie and then curl up on the couch next to him. The movie is okay. Mostly I want to laugh because Luke says I don’t watch movies if they have too much color in them, and that definitely isn’t the case with this movie. I am a little peeved though as I’ve given up a golden opportunity to force him to sit through It Happened One Night again, but he’s more interested in his phone than what’s on the screen.

“Are you even watching this?” I ask. “Because if you’re not, I’ll put on a Shirley Temple movie. Don’t think that I won’t. Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm is literally in the DVD player right now.”

“Sorry… it’s Leah,” He says, as his phone vibrates with another text.

“Oh,” I say, surprised. “Your girlfriend, right?”

“Well, I think it’s a little soon to be calling her my girlfriend. Oh wait, sorry… I forgot who I was talking to.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I ask indignantly.

“Nothing. Just that you moved to Seattle sixteen days ago and now you’re not only dating Grey, but you’ve moved into his apartment… Soon doesn’t seem to be a problem with you.”

“Yeah, but… I mean, we dated before and we were going to move in with each other right before we broke up and, and… and we’re not talking about me, right now, we’re talking about you. Why don’t you want to call her your girlfriend? I thought you liked her?”

“I do, but my job is really time consuming. It’s kind of a 24/7 thing and it makes it difficult to have a relationship, you know?” His phone vibrates again and he frowns as he reads the text. “See what I mean? She’s not very happy that I have to work tonight and she’s being a little passive aggressive about it.”

He hands me his phone and I look down at the text.

Okay, but say you WERE here. What would you want to do?

My brow furrows as I scroll through the last few messages and then a broad smile crosses my face as I realize what’s actually going on.

“She’s not being passive aggressive, Luke. She’s trying to get you to talk dirty to her.”

“What?” Luke asks, surprised and I shake my head.

“Here…” I tell him, and I begin typing out a quick, sexy message in reply. He looks over at what I’m writing and then immediately reaches out for his phone, which I’m just barely able to keep out of his reach.

“Ana, what are you doing? I would never write that!”

“I know, that’s why you need my help,” I reply with a giggle.

“God damn it, Ana, give me the phone.”

“Never!” I cry and then try to get off the couch and run, but he hooks his arm around my waist and pulls me back onto the couch, kneeling over me to hold me down as he pries his phone out of my hand. But I’m not going to give in that easily. The moment I’m free, I dive at him, laying on top of him to keep his left arm down as I try and reach for the phone he’s holding in his right.

“Stop it, Ana. You’re not sexting my girlfriend.”

“So she is your girlfriend!” I say, looking down at him with a satisfied smirk and he narrows his eyes at me.

“No, she’s my… I don’t know.”

“Give me the phone, Luke.”

“No!” He says defiantly and I reach further forward, my fingers inching up his arm towards the phone while I do my best to keep his other hand pinned to the couch. It’s hard though, because he’s stronger than I am, and after only a few seconds, with my fingers just about to the phone in his outstretched hand, he breaks my hold on his arm and reaches up and begins tickling my sides. I involuntarily flinch and then squirm away from him.

“Stop it, Luke!” I laugh/scream at him. “I don’t know why you’re fighting me. I’m just trying to get you laid!”

“What the fuck?” A cold voice says from behind the couch and both Luke and I freeze. I look over the back of the couch and see Christian standing in the entryway of the living room, staring at us so intently that it feels as though his gaze could burn right through us.

“What the fuck is going on in here?” He asks icily and immediately, Luke rolls me off of him and scrambles to his feet.

“My Grey, I…”

“You think you can come into my house and put your hands on my girlfriend?” Christian asks as he begins stalking towards Luke.

“No, sir,” Luke replies, backing away from him. “I would never…”

“You would never what? Don’t act like I didn’t just fucking walk in on you feeling her up on my couch!”

“Christian!” I shout, standing up and instinctively placing myself between him and Luke. “It’s not what you think, he wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was just trying to get his phone.”

“Get out of the way, Anastasia.”

“No!” I exclaim, but Luke tugs slightly on my arm to pull me out of the way and Christian stalks forward again until he’s only inches away from Luke’s face.

“Pack your things and get the fuck out of my house,” He snarls. “You’re fired.”

“Yes, sir,” Luke says, and he quickly turns and walks hurriedly through the great room towards Taylor’s office, Christian’s angry gaze following him the entire way.

“What the hell is the matter with you?” I ask as I start after Luke, but Christian grabs onto me, holding me in place and he stares furiously down at me.

I’m just trying to get you laid?” He quotes me in a tight voice.

“Yes, with his girlfriend,” I reply defensively. “He was texting her and I was joking around with him for being bad at sexting.”

“You were on top of him and he had his hands all over you, Anastasia.”

“I was trying to get his phone back and he was trying to get me away from him. His hands weren’t all over me, he was just trying to move me.”

“I don’t want him touching you. I don’t want anyone touching you.”

“Christian… Luke is not a threat to you, or to us, you have to stop treating him like he is! Nothing happened, nothing ever will happen. Not with him, not with anyone else. I would never do something like that to you.”

I stare back into his eyes, imploring him to see reason and watch as he takes a deep calming breath and some of the anger behind his eyes begins to recede. He looks down at the floor, almost guiltily for a moment and then back at me, clearly struggling to find the right words for what he wants to say.

“Everything is a threat to me,” He says quietly. “Sawyer, work, this lawsuit… Anything that has the potential to make you leave is a threat to me. I can’t lose you again, Anastasia.”

“You’re not going to, Christian, but you can’t try and hang onto me by pushing everyone else out of my life. Luke and I are friends, that’s all, but we are friends. You have to accept that and stop being threatened by him. I’ve told you a hundred times, I’m not going anywhere, not for Luke, not for anyone else in the world.”

He stares back at me for a second, his eyes searching mine, and then he shakes his head slightly as he speaks. “I’m sorry. You’re right, if I want you to trust me then I need to trust you. It’s my fault he’s in your life anyway, I suppose I’m just going to have to find a way to accept that. You could make it easier by not climbing on top of him though…”

“I can’t make any promises. Sometimes, Luke is a butthead and he needs to be put back in his place by being physically brought down to the ground. He’s a big guy, it takes my whole body.”

Christian rolls his eyes, but he’s trying to cover a small chuckle with an exasperated sigh. He leans down to kiss me, but I stop him by putting my hand up in front of my face and the second his lips touch my fingers, he opens his eyes and then frowns.

“Oh no, Mr. Grey. There will be none of that until you march back into Taylor’s office and make this right with Luke.”

“But…” He begins, but under my stern gaze his jaw clenches and he turns around and heads back into the foyer. I make my way back into the bedroom to start getting ready to go to sleep and am just crawling into the bed when Christian appears, looking agitated.

“Well?” I ask him, keeping my tone as pleasant as possible.

“He’ll pick you up first thing tomorrow morning to take you to work,” He replies, and I smile at him.

“Thank you,” I say, and he sighs and begins to undress for bed. “How was dinner with your dad?” I ask.

“Fine,” He says. “He’s been combing through all the interviews Leila has given, looking for inconsistencies in her story, but she hasn’t varied once from her original statement, like she’s reading from a script or something. Unfortunately it’s very difficult to prove that sexual abuse didn’t occur, especially since she’s not giving any specific dates or events that I could provide an alibi for.”

“What about the cameras in your office? She threatened me when she left, she said that she would ruin you. Can’t that be used for something?”

“It could… if the security footage had an audio feed. Taylor told me a year ago that the system needed an upgrade but I pushed it off for the new building. Stupid mistake… and I will not make it again.”

He climbs into the bed next to me and holds his arms open for me to cuddle into his side and as I lie down over his chest, he continues.

“Speaking of security footage… What were you and Elena talking about outside the office last week?”

“How much I hate her,” I reply and he lets out a quick, breathy laugh.

“Well, it looks like you’re not the only one. I swear this audit that Ros is doing on Esclava is going to start a war between her and Elena. They’ve both been hell to deal with all day.”

“I thought you weren’t dealing with her at all. Wasn’t that the point of handing Esclava off to Ros?”

“It was. She was calling me all morning and I ignored her until Sawyer told me about the flowers she sent to you. I called her to tell her to leave you the fuck alone and she apologized and asked me why she was being audited and I told her to take it up with Ros.”

“You shouldn’t have called her, Christian. She sent those flowers to get you to reach out to her and you played right into her hand.”

“I didn’t call her for an afternoon chat, Anastasia. If that’s what she was really doing, it didnt’ work. I didn’t talk to her about the audit. I called her to tell her that you were off limits and she was not to reach out to you in any way and that’s all I said. I don’t want her contacting you, and I put a stop to it, that’s all it was.”

“I don’t want her talking to you either, Christian. I don’t care what it’s about.”

“We run a business together, Anastasia. What you want is impossible.”

“Then, I hope Ros finds out she’s doing something shady at Esclava so that you’ll get rid of the salons and then you won’t have any reason to contact her.”

“I hope that doesn’t happen,” He says calmly. “Esclava is a very profitable division of GEH and right now I’d prefer it if there weren’t any other breaking news scandals associated with my company.”

I grind my teeth together and take a deep breath because I don’t want to get into another fight with him right now, not with everything else he already has on his plate. Perhaps once Carrick gets this lawsuit sorted out, I can schedule an appointment with Flynn and maybe the rest of his family so we can have a real discussion about Elena and why he needs to several all ties with her, including business ties. Like an intervention.

“There is one more thing Dad and I talked about…” He says hesitantly and I turn so that I can look up at him. “To keep you from being expelled, he thinks it’s best we come out to the public that we’re dating, not just fucking. We need to tell people that this isn’t some tawdry affair, this is a real relationship that has nothing to do with work.”

“Yeah, I figured we’d have to eventually…”

“And, since the relationship disclosure paperwork wasn’t filed before the lawsuit, he thinks it’s best we come out in a very public way, so that we can control the message…”

“Like a public appearance?”

“Not exactly. Something more detailed… Jacqueline is scheduling an interview with Elizabeth Vargas for later in the week.”

“What? That public? That’s not just Seattle News that’s… ABC.”

“I know, but this has turned into a national story, Ana… The New York Times ran article about it, it’s being talked about on all of the late night talk shows. People have been waiting for me to fall from grace for two years. There are a lot of people out there who want to see me fail.”

I take a deep breath and exhale sharply. “So… we don’t give them the satisfaction. And, if this is what it’s going to take to keep me from being expelled, then I guess there isn’t a choice. When is the interview?”

“Jacqueline is scheduling it first thing tomorrow morning. It should be sometime this week.”

“Okay, just let me know…” I tell him. “My mom is going to want to set her DVR.”

He laughs, and I can hear his relief. “I know this isn’t how you wanted to world to find out, but it really is going to be for the best, I promise you. I know my Dad and what he’s capable of and I trust his judgement.”

“I know, me too,” I tell him.

I turn to look at him again, this time pushing myself up so that I can kiss him, and when my lips touch his, his hands move into my hair. As I try and deepen the kiss rather than pull away, he moans and moves me off of his chest and onto the mattress before rolling over on top of me. His tongue explores my mouth eagerly, and as I wrap my arms around him to pull him into me, his hands move under my t-shirt and pull against my panties.

Next Chapter

 

Chapter 18

breaking-news

Despite the drama from Leila’s not so quiet exit from GEH, Christian and I are able to have a fairly normal weekend. It turns out that in addition to taking the state project from Ros (which I later found out was the multi-billion dollar fiber optics deal that he had told his dad about over brunch) and continuing to run his ever expanding empire, Christian has been online shopping.

We come home Friday night to several deliveries of things for the apartment and receive even more throughout the day on Saturday. So, we spend the weekend arranging furniture, rolling rugs out over the stone floors, and hanging expensive works of art. It’s a lot of work for one weekend and it’s a little tiring, but I’m glad Christian is doing it with me, rather than hiring an interior decorator to put it together for him. I like the feeling of building a home together with him.

The other good thing about helping put the apartment together is that I finally get to see all of Christian’s penthouse, and it’s gigantic. The library across from his office now actually contains books and the small room next to it is a complete with several black, leather recliners, a fully stocked bar, a pool table, a home theater sized flat screen TV, and four different gaming systems, which Christian assures me are for Elliot. There are four bedrooms upstairs, two of which are now guest rooms while one of the others has been turned into a home gym and the last one an office for me to work out of on the nights I am slammed with SIP business. He’s made it very clear over the weekend that, regardless of how much work I have to do, once I’m not longer working in the GEH building, I’m to be home by no later than 5:30.

He doesn’t work all weekend. There are no conference calls, no emails, no contracts, no reports for him to analyze. It’s the just the two of us, alone and together, and overall, it’s the best weekend I’ve spent with him since the time he took me to Vermont. Even he enjoys the separation from work and so we decide Sunday night that we’re going to extend the weekend by one more day and work from home for my last day at GEH before I have to move to SIP on Tuesday.

Because we were up late together Sunday night, Christian promised me we could have a late start Monday, but that dream is shattered by his phone ringing on the nightstand first thing in the morning, waking us both before we’re ready to start the day.

“No,” I groan when his arms move from their place around me and he rolls over to retrieve his phone. “You promised me, not until nine.”

“It’s 9:30, baby,” He says, with an amused air to his voice.

“Fine. Then no work until we’ve gotten eight hours of sleep.”

“I made love to you until 3:30 in the morning, Anastasia. If you want eight hours of sleep, you’re going to need to take the day off.”

“Don’t tempt me,” I groan. I open my eyes just as he looks down at the screen of his phone and he when he reads the name on the caller ID, he looks confused.

“Who is it?” I ask.

“My lawyer,” He says, pulling back the covers and climbing out of bed before he answers the call. I watch him leave the room, wondering if it’s a bad thing that his lawyer would be calling him first thing Monday morning or if that just goes with the territory of owning a huge company.

I’m secretly hoping that if I don’t get out of bed right away, once Christian finishes his phone call he’ll come back and maybe we can start the morning off in a much more satisfying way, but after thirty minutes of no return, I begin to lose hope of that possibility.

Finally conceding that the weekend is over and that I have to accept my grown up responsibilities and do some work, I roll out of bed and pick up my phone. There’s a text I missed from Kate last night but I’m more interested in the google alert notification at the top of the screen.


Google Alert: Christian Grey

The New York Times, May 31st 2010: Sexual Harassment Charges Brought Against Christian Grey. Several employees of Seattle based Grey Enterprises Holdings have come out this morning with claims that CEO Christian Grey, has violated the […]


Google Alert: Christian Grey

TMZ, May 31st 2010: No work, All Play for Sex Crazed Grey. Looks like Christian Grey isn’t the boss of your dreams after all. This morning, several female staffers of the huge conglomerate company filed civil litigation against Mr. Grey claiming that he pressured them to perform sexual acts in exchange for […]


Google Alert: Christian Grey

The Seattle Times, May 31st 2010: Female Employees File Suit Against Grey Enterprises Holdings CEO. A group of three, as of yet, unnamed female employees have filed suit this morning against GEH CEO Christian Grey claiming he sexually […]


What?

I look around the room, stunned for a minute by what I’ve just read and then break into a sprint towards Christian’s office. I don’t make it there though as I find Christian standing in the living room, phone still to his ear, as he stands in front of the TV with the remote his hand.

“What’s going on?” I ask, but he has to respond to whoever he’s talking to on the phone, so he gestures to the TV with the remote. I turn my attention to the news and my mouth drops open as I read the headlines flashing across the screen.

Female Employees Charge Christian Grey with Sexual Harassment

There is a woman I don’t know standing in front of a building I recognize as the King County Courthouse talking to reporters, and behind her I see three young women: Leila, Suzannah, and another I’m not familiar with. They all look pale, shaken, and visibly upset. I stare into Leila’s face on the screen, focusing on her bottom lip which is quivering ever so slightly, and I feel a wave of nausea.

“Leila is suing you for sexual harassment?” I ask Christian in a trembling voice.

“Apparently,” He replies. “But, Ana, I never touched her.”

“No, I know that,” I reassure him. “But… I don’t understand. What is she… How is she… I mean, why is she doing this?”

“I fired her,” Christian says bitterly. “I’m a public figure, an easy target, and I’m well on my way to being a billionaire.”

“So, she wants money?”

He doesn’t answer. Instead he uses the remote to turn up the volume and I turn back to the TV as Leila steps forward to stand next to her lawyer, a large tear running silently down her face.

“This was a difficult decision to come to,” She says shakily. “And I want to apologize to GEH’s COO Miss Ros Bailey, who is one of the most kind-hearted, ambitious, and inspirational women, and who I know will be affected by what Mr. Grey has done, just as the rest of us were. We simply could not sit back any longer and watch another girl fall victim to Mr. Grey’s predatory advances. No more young women should have to go through what we’ve all gone through.”

Her face crinkles as she breaks out into tears and her lawyer wraps her arms around Leila, holding her close to her and rubbing her hand over her arm gently. The press conference ends and as the news goes back to the reporter commenting on Leila’s bravery, I turn to face Christian and see him pulsing with anger.

Thirty minutes later, the apartment is crowded with lawyers. Andrea called me shortly after the press conference ended and begged me to come in and help her and since I’m more in the way here than anything, I take Luke and make my way into the office. Apparently, GEH is in chaos, fielding calls from reporters, angry women calling to express their outrage, and worse… Christian’s clients, who have seen the news reports and are less than pleased to be associated with GEH as a result. Though Christian is going out of his mind being stuck in the apartment and not at work handling his business and putting out fires, there are too many reporters outside the building and too much he needs to oversee with his legal team to leave Escala. He’s trusting Ros to deal with the client calls, or says he is, but then he calls her every fifteen minutes for updates.

When Luke and I arrive at GEH, struggling to make it into the parking garage through the line of protesters marching up and down the sidewalk, I immediately have to jump into action. They’ve opened extra phone lines to accommodate the increased call volume so no clients are left waiting on the phone, and Andrea and I spend a hectic morning telling media outlets that Christian has no comment at this time, assuring outraged members of the public that Christian is the paragon of business morality and strives for nothing but equality and respect for all women in the workplace, and accommodating clients in anyway we can before directing them to an overly stressed Ros.

Thankfully, the pandemonium dies down a little around noon and we have a second to catch our breath. Andrea runs down to the deli across the street to grab lunch for us, while I deal with the few miscellaneous phone calls that continue to slowly trickle in. When I hang up with what is probably the fortieth person today to call and scream at me about what a pervert Christian is, I rest my head on the desk and fantasize about being lost on an island with him somewhere without any connection to the outside world.

“How are you holding up?” A voice asks, surprising me, and I look up to see Ros leaning on the counter looking at me with concern.

“It’s not my favorite day,” I tell her. “But I’ll be okay. How are you handling everything?”

“Haven’t lost a client yet, thankfully.”

“Have you heard from, Christian? How’s he doing?”

“He’s pissed. He wants to be here and be the one to be talking to our clients, but he’s being held captive in his apartment,” She says and I frown, thinking briefly about calling to check on him but not knowing if he’s too busy for that right now.

“Where’s Andrea?” Ros asks.

“She went to get us lunch. Oh crap, I’m sorry… did you want something?”

“I’m okay, Ana,” She says. “Would you do something for me since she’s not here?”

“Sure.”

“I need you to schedule a meeting between me, Elena Lincoln, the head of accounting, head of finance and HR.”

“Any specific time or date?”

“As soon as possible.”

“Okay. What should I tell them it’s for?”

“I’m going to do an audit on Esclava. I don’t know, something just seems weird about the numbers. I just want to check it out.”

“Okay, sure,” I say, smiling down at my keyboard as I pull up the calendars for all the people requested to be in the meeting. It gives me a sick kind of pleasure knowing that Ros is suspicious of Elena and that she’s not going to just bend over and give her whatever she wants. If Christian isn’t ready to cut all ties with Elena yet, maybe handing her over to Ros is the next best thing.

Once the meeting is scheduled and I’ve sent out the calendar invite, the phone rings again and I groan and brace myself for another onslaught of rage before reaching out to answer it.

“Christian Grey’s office, Anastasia Steele speaking. How may I help you?” I say as sweetly as possible, but I’m surprised by who responds.

“Ana, I need you to come home.” It’s Christian and he sounds worse than he did this morning.

“I can’t…” I tell him. “It’s been crazy here all morning. Andrea doesn’t have any help.”

“I’ll have Ros find someone to help Andrea. You need to come home,” He says and in that moment I see a solemn looking Luke come around the corner.

“I’m going to take you back to Escala, Miss Steele,” Luke says, his tone mirroring Christian’s, and I give him a confused look.

“What’s going on?” I ask.

“Just come home, baby,” Christian says. The phone clicks and I hear the long drawn out sound of the dial tone.

“H-hold on,” I say blankly as Andrea comes through the glass doors with take out bags from the deli in hand, and I reach down into the drawer to grab my things.

“Andrea, I have to go,” I tell her and she turns panicked eyes on me.

“What? Go? You can’t go…”

“I’m sorry, Miss Parker. Mr. Grey’s orders,” Luke tells her.

“He said Ros is going to find someone to help you. I’m sorry, Andrea,” I say, and because she can’t argue, she just nods and takes her seat next to me, picking up the phone as it rings once more. I give her an apologetic look as I get out of my seat and follow Luke into the elevator.

“What’s going on?” I ask, “You’re kind of scaring me.”

“I’m not really supposed to talk to you about it, Miss Steele,” He says.

“Miss Steele? Luke…”

“No. Stop,” He says firmly. “Look, I know we’re friends, but there are times when I have to be your CPO, Ana, and this is one of those time. My instructions are to get you back to Escala as discreetly as possible. You’ll know once we get home.”

I frown at his reticent attitude but don’t push him any further. He takes me down to the parking garage and quickly directs me to the Lincoln. I move to open the front passenger door, but he stops me and instead holds open the door for the backseat. I raise an eyebrow at him as I climb in and my confusion is heightened as he reaches behind the back seat and pulls out a small, fleece blanket.

“When we get to Escala, I’m going to need you to lie down and put this over you. There are photographers outside the building and Mr. Grey doesn’t want anyone getting a picture of you.”

“What’s going on, Luke?” I ask again, but he just closes the door and makes his way to the driver’s seat.

Escala is a mad house. I only get a brief glimpse of the news trucks and hoard of reporters and paparazzi flooding the sidewalk in front of the building before Luke instructs me to get out of sight, and the next thing I know, we’re stopped in the parking garage. My door opens and I see both Taylor and Ryan, and the latter is holding another, longer blanket. He lifts it up to shield me from the view of the entrance to the garage as I get out of the car and then holds it next to me until I’m in the elevator.

Christian’s apartment is still full and buzzing with activity. I look suspiciously at two people in the foyer yelling at someone over their phones as Taylor leads me into the living room where I find even more people typing furiously on laptops or flipping through papers in thick bound files, and Christian in heated discussion with someone I don’t know.

“Christian?” I ask hesitantly, “What’s going on?”

He looks up at me and I feel a deep sense of dread as I watch his expression morph from anger to something in between regret and pain.

“What?” I repeat nervously, and he reaches out for me and leads me over to the television, where I see Leila sitting across a news desk from a reporter. The headline across the bottom of the screen reads:

Grey Scandal Breaking News

New Victim Identified: Grey’s personal intern Anastasia Steele

Christian picks up the remote and turns the volume on.

“So you’re saying she’s not a victim?” The reporter asks, and Leila shakes her head.

“We’re all victims. What he’s doing is abhorrent, even if some of the women involved don’t have the moral fiber to see that,” Leila replies.

“You said Grey has shown preference to Miss Steele, in what ways did that become apparent?”

“Well, when she first came to GEH, we found out that Mr. Grey wasn’t only paying for her living expenses and her apartment, but that her apartment was in his building, an expensive building downtown. None of the other interns were offered any benefits like that. She got a company car and less than two weeks after she started, she was promoted into a very coveted implementation position for one of GEH’s new acquisitions. She’s a student, she doesn’t have any experience and she was still learning the basics about the company… there’s no way she was qualified for that job.”

Christian reaches up and mutes the TV again and I feel tears begin to well in my eyes as I stare at my name printed in bold font on the bottom of the screen.

“I’m going to make this go away, Anastasia,” He says, as he wraps his arms around me. “I promise you. I’m so sorry, baby.”

Time becomes a very weird concept as I sit on the couch trying to process what’s happening. I’m not sure if it’s minutes or hours that I’m left here feeling like I’m drowning in the ocean of emotions that are too overwhelming for me to identify individually. I’m only half aware of the people milling about the room around me, of the heated arguments that break out over communication failures and preparations for bank transfers. I don’t feel hungry, I don’t feel tired, I don’t feel cold or hot. I feel nothing. Like I’m somehow disconnected from all of my senses and left adrift.

“No!” I hear someone yell from foyer, “I don’t care if he’s not taking visitors. I’m here to see, Ana.” I lean around the corner and watch as Kate, looking worried and dressed like she’s come here straight from work, comes around the corner.

“Ana,” She says when she sees me sitting on the couch, and she rushes to my side and wraps me in her arms. “I just heard a couple hours ago, I got here as soon as I could. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I lie.

“I went to your apartment first, why are you up here?”

“The lawyers are up here,” I tell her and then, because it’s difficult to talk with the noise of twelve or so strangers mulling around the living room, I take Kate by the hand and lead her up the stairs to one of the guest rooms Christian and I put together over the weekend.

“Impressive,” Kate says as she looks around the room. “He’s put this together really quickly.”

“Yeah,” I reply sullenly and she pulls me down onto the bed and grips my hand.

“So what’s the plan? How are we fighting this? I mean, it’s lies… those girls are lying.”

“They’re trying to get a hold of Leila’s lawyer. I think Christian is going to try and offer them a payout to make this all go away as quickly as possible.”

“But that makes it sound like he’s guilty… he’s not guilty, and those things they’re saying about you on the news aren’t true. You got this internship because you deserve it, you’re who he wanted because he knew you’d be great at it. You haven’t slept with him in two years, I can testify to that if I need too…”

“No you can’t,” I tell her.

“Sure I can. Look, I know that’s embarrassing for you and for Christian, but Ana, you have stand up for yourself. You have to fight this. This could ruin both of your careers.”

“I’m not worried about being embarrassed.”

“Then what is it?”

“I’m sleeping with him, Kate,” I admit, looking down at the comforter. “I have been for a little over a week.”

“What?” She gasps. “But I thought…”

“I lied,” I tell her, but before I can elaborate any further, my phone buzzes on the comforter and I look down and see Carrick’s name flash across the screen.

“Hi, Carrick,” I answer.

“Ana, are you with Christian?” He asks.

“Yes, I mean… no. I’m at his apartment, but he’s downstairs with his lawyers.”

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know, to be honest. I’m a little shaken up. I’m scared, Carrick. I don’t know what’s going to happen and I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s going to be okay,” He says comfortingly and once again, I feel a tear roll down my face.

“He didn’t touch any of those girls, Carrick. It’s all lies.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Of course I do. I know my son, Anastasia. He’s a victim of sexual abuse. I know what that’s done to him even if he won’t admit it. There’s no way he would inflict that on another person.” He says and my only response is a series of muffled gasps and sobs.

“What about you?'” Carrick asks.

“Me?”

“Are you two sleeping together?”

I hesitate for a second and take a deep breath. “Yes,” I admit. “But it’s consensual and it has nothing to do with GEH. He hasn’t offered me anything in return for sexual favors.”

“And this Leila Williams, she knows about you two?”

“Yes. She’s, I don’t know… in love with him, and she found out I was sleeping with him so she called me a whore and Christian fired her. She told me before she left that she would ruin him and I would regret ever coming to GEH.”

“Who does he have representing him?”

“Uh… his corporate council? I think it’s Kramer and… uh…”

“Feinstein,” Carrick finishes for me. “Idiots. It’ll be okay, Anastasia. I don’t want you to worry, okay?”

“Okay…” I reply, though the uncertainty is still apparent in my voice. He doesn’t comment on it though. Instead he hangs up and I pull the phone away from my ear, throwing it back down on the bed and turning guilty eyes on Kate.

“Why didn’t you tell me…?” She asks, slightly hurt and I take a deep breath and wipe a tear away before I answer.

“Because of this,” I say quietly. “I was afraid that something like this would happen. You’re with Elliot, Elliot is GEH. I know he means well all the time and I know he wouldn’t ever purposefully tell anyone, but he’s careless sometimes. He likes to tell jokes and I was afraid he’d make some comment, just trying to be funny, and someone would overhear him. I just didn’t want people to think Christian hired me so he could fuck me and I didn’t want people to think I was using him.”

“You’re doing more than just sleeping with him,” Kate infers and I nod. “What happened? When did everything change?”

I recount nearly everything that has brought Christian and I to this point over the last couple weeks and am surprised at how understanding she is, rather than being angry that I hid our relationship from her. And, to be honest, her accepting attitude makes me feel even more guilty.

“So that’s why he apologized to Elliot,” She says, as I finish with Christian’s pain filled confession in my living room after reading my book last Tuesday morning. “And you think he means it. He’s really turning around?”

“Yeah. But, if I’m being honest… I don’t know what all of this is going to do to him. He wants to believe that he’s in control of his relationship with Elena, but he relies on her when he feels lost or threatened… This is exactly the kind of thing that would drive him back to her and I don’t know if he’s in the place yet where he knows that he’ll be able to handle this without her.”

“Do you think she has anything to do with it?’ Kate asks.

“I don’t know, but I wouldn’t put it past her,” I reply darkly.

“Either way… whether it’s Elena or it’s just this Leila girl, this is such a deplorable thing for her to do. I mean, beyond what it could do to you, to Christian, to GEH… this will have consequences for women everywhere, for actual victims of sexual crimes. The last thing that we need is another reason for people to believe that women lie about things like sexual harassment and rape.”

“I don’t think Leila’s thinking about things like that right now.” I say quietly and Kate lets out a harsh breath of exasperation.

“I don’t give a fuck what she’s thinking about, her intentions don’t change anything. I really hope Christian drags her over the coals. In fact…” She says, her eyes brightening with sudden realization. “Maybe it would help his case and help mitigate some of the woman bashing fallout if a female reporter with access to mass media distribution were to write a piece showing support for Christian and calling out the atrocity of her lies.”

“I’m sure Christian would appreciate your support, Kate,” I tell her, giving her a weak smile. She squeezes my hand once more and as I take a few deep calming breaths to regain some sense of composure, my phone rings again.

“Carrick?” Kate asks but I shake my head, an overwhelming sense of dread crossing over me as I look down at the unknown number.

“Kate… it’s a 617 number,” I tell her and her eyes widen, reflecting the same fear that I feel in the pit of my stomach.

“Harvard,” She whispers.

I take another deep breath, answer the call and then slowly bring the phone up to my ear. “H-hello?”

“Good evening. I’m trying to reach Miss Anastasia Steele.”

“This is she.”

“Ah, Miss Steele. This is James Harris, I’m the Dean of Students at Harvard University. I have some questions about your internship with Grey Enterprises Holdings.”

“Okay.”

“Miss Steele, it surely hasn’t escaped your attention that you’ve been implicated in charges currently being brought against Mr. Christian Grey for offering professional advantages in exchange for sexual favors?”

“It’s not true,” I tell him. “My relationship with Mr. Grey in regards to GEH has been entirely professional. I knew him when he was a student at Harvard himself. He’s familiar with my work ethic and my skill set. I was selected for this internship based entirely on merit, I assure you.”

“And how do you respond to the reports that you have received additional privileges or perks that other interns at GEH didn’t. Claims have been made that while the standard internship at GEH pays merely minimum wage and congruent credit through the intern’s academic institution, you’ve received a luxury apartment, a new car, and a living stipend?”

“I, uh…” I stutter and Kate waves her hand to get my attention.

“You need a lawyer,” She mouths, shaking her head as a sign for me not to answer. I swallow and continue.

“Mr. Harris, I can’t speak to what the other interns have been offered in exchange for their tenure at GEH and due to the sensitivity of this subject, I’d be more comfortable answering your questions after consulting a lawyer.”

“Very well, Miss Steele. I need to inform you then that Harvard University will be launching an investigation into your internship as you have been granted congruent credit through the university and we have reason to believe you’ve violated Harvard’s code of conduct and ethics in regards to academic integrity.”

“Mr. Harris, I would never do anything to violate the university’s code of conduct. I assure you, my internship with GEH is entirely legitimate.”

“I hope so, Miss Steele, because if our investigation proves otherwise, you should be aware that the consequence will be expulsion from Harvard University.”

A wave of cold fear courses over me as the weight of his words hit me and I realize that now everything I’ve worked so hard for over the last three years is at risk. I can’t lose Harvard, it’s everything to me. Shit, what would my dad say?

“Have a good evening, Miss Steele,” Mr. Harris says, and he hangs up, leaving me feeling like I’m drowning again.

“H-he said expulsion, Kate,” I say, and she gapes at me.

“We’ll fight this then. Fuck a settlement,” She says. “We’ll get you a lawyer and we’ll fight this. Ana, you’re innocent. You have nothing to be afraid of.”

I’m shaking, the phone still in my hand as I try and process what’s happening. Kate reaches out to hug me again but I can’t handle that right now. I can’t sit here anymore, I need to be doing something. I need to know that something is being done to save my academic future.

“Christian!” I yell, suddenly jumping out of the bed and racing for the stairs. “Christian!”

I find him in the living room, going over something with one of the lawyers, but when he sees me flying down the stairs towards him and hears the tremble in my voice, he turns away and rushes over towards me.

“Ana, what’s wrong?” He asks, his eyes searching mine.

“I just got a call from Harvard,” I tell him, on the edge of tears once again. “They said that I’ve violated the code of ethics. They’re going to do an investigation and I could be expelled. I can’t lose Harvard, Christian. I can’t. Please, please don’t let me lose Harvard.” I beg and I break down, weeping into his shirt.

“Oh, Ana,” He says, his arms wrapping comfortingly around me. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll make it okay, I’ll find a way.”

“How?”

I feel him move as he turns to his lawyer. “Fix this,” He hisses, and the room is alive with noise once again as the lawyers return to their work.

I pull away from him and feel his thumb brush away the moisture on my cheek and just as he leans down to kiss me, we both hear the ping of the elevator and turn towards the sound to see Carrick step into the foyer. Christian stiffens immediately as his father’s eyes fall on him and he moves into the living room.

“What are you doing here?” Christian asks.

“I came to help,” Carrick replies. “Where are we at?”

We’re fine,” Christian says, emphasizing the word to illustrate that Carrick is not included in the ‘we’.

“Christian…” I say, looking up at him with imploring eyes and I see his jaw tense as he stares back at me. “Please. Let him help.”

There is an overwhelming aura of tension billowing around me as I watch Christian mull the decision over in his mind. He glances at his father, standing only a few feet away, then back at me before letting out a long, low breath.

“We’re trying to reach Miss Williams’ lawyers,” Christian says eventually, in a heavy voice. “My counsel is of the opinion that the fastest way to make this all go away is to offer a settlement.”

“Do you think this is about money?” Carrick asks.

“Sure,” Christian shrugs. “She’s just lost her job, she knows I have the means to pay to keep her quiet.”

“Ana?” Carrick asks. I shake my head.

“It’s about revenge,” I tell him. “She wants you, Christian. She thought she was getting close and then we crushed her. You humiliated her in front Andrea and Luke and… me, the person she feels she lost everything to. Before she left she told me she would ruin you, that I had no idea what she was capable of. This is about revenge, Christian. She wants to hurt you.”

“So what do we do?” Christian asks, turning back to his father and Carrick turns to address the room as a whole.

“Someone needs to get down to the courthouse, now. We’re going to file an injunction to keep her from talking to the media and get her off the TV. Next we’ll file countersuit for defamation of character and industrial sabotage. I need case files and court decisions on breaches of both tort and contractual fiduciary responsibility between an ex-employee and former employer. I’m going to need the GEH personnel files for each one of these girls. I want to know everything about them, their hire date, previous employment, performance reviews, everything.”

As Carrick issues his marching orders, I find myself impressed at the confidence he exudes, especially considering the men who immediately launch into action to carry out his commands are dressed in Armani suits and he’s standing before them in a pair of jeans and a Seahawks sweatshirt.

“I presume you two have something in writing to disclose your relationship to HR?” Carrick asks both Christian and I.

“Yes,” Christian says. “We drew up paperwork and Ana gave it to HR last week.” He turns to look at me and I feel the blood drain out of my face. “You did give it to HR last week, didn’t you?”

“I forgot…” I say and Christian’s face hardens immediately.

“You forgot?” He snaps.

“I-it’s on my desk at work… with everything that happened with Leila on Friday, I forgot all about it.”

“Jesus, Ana,” Christian says, running his hands through his hair with frustration and Carrick places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“We’ll figure out the paperwork. Leila is the young woman accusing you of harassment, right? What happened on Friday?”

I watch as Carrick takes a seat on Christian’s couch and pulls out a notepad and a pen while Christian explains why and how Leila was fired. To both mine and Christian’s dismay, Carrick informs us that exposing her to our sexual liaison over the phone on Friday, whether by accident or not, gives her a valid claim for sexual harassment.

“Thankfully though, she’s not claiming that the harassment in question occurred because of your uh… because of the event that occurred last Friday, she’s accusing you of attempting to force her into having sexual relations with you,” He says. “In this case, her lies are going to protect you from a very legitimate claim that she could have used against you. In order to avoid lawsuits such as these in the future, I would suggest you both keep your private matters confined to your private residence.”

Christian and I glance guiltily at one another before turning to Carrick, and with a sheepish look, Christian asks him to continue. Carrick asks Christian a long list of questions about Leila and her time in his office and about the other victims who Christian doesn’t even know. I try and pay attention but I find myself distracted by the news ticker running across the bottom of the screen, still displaying my name. This whole situation feels surreal, like I’m caught in a nightmare that I can’t get out of.

Kate is helping Mrs. Jones in the kitchen, cooking dinner for the dozens of people who it seems will be working here late into the night. I feel like I should probably offer my help but I’m a little dazed. This whole Harvard thing has me really thrown off. I’m supposed to start at SIP tomorrow, but now… I’m just sitting here wondering if I should quit. Experience isn’t worth anything if I don’t have a degree.

As I sit on the back of the couch, staring into space and trying to decide what I should do, I see Taylor come out of his office and walk purposefully towards us.

“Mr. Grey,” He says and Christian looks up at him but immediately brushes him off.

“Not now, Taylor,” He says.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Grey, but Mrs. Lincoln is on her way up.”

“What?” Christian exclaims and my head snaps up in the direction of the elevator as we hear the loud ping that announces her arrival. Christian gets off the couch and storms angrily towards the foyer and after a brief look between myself and Carrick, we both get up and chase after him.

I come around the corner just in time to see her step out of the elevator and hold out her arms to wrap Christian in a hug.

“What are you doing here, Elena?” he asks, pushing her away, and she looks up at him with concern.

“What do you mean, Christian? I heard what that horrible little tramp receptionist of yours was saying about you to the media, I had to come check on you. What can I do to help?”

“You can leave,” He says and she gives him a pained kind of smile.

“I know this difficult but-” She begins and then her eyes fall on Carrick and I hovering in the entrance of the foyer and her eyes go cold.

“Oh, I see…” She says. “You have company.”

“I do,” He replies curtly, “So if you could just…”

“Hello, Carrick.” Elena says, cutting Christian off. “It’s good to see you again. You know I was just thinking about you and Grace the other day. I meant to call her and see if she wanted to have lunch. I get to see Elliot and Christian quite often but I’ve missed little Mia terribly. How is she?”

I’m able to reach out in time to stop Carrick from physically launching himself across the room at her and when I look back, Christian is gripping her by the upper arms and pushing her back into the elevator.

“That’s enough,” He snarls at her, “You need to leave. Now. And do not come back here.”

“Christian, I know you’re upset,” Elena says. “I just want to help you. Call me later, we can talk.” She kisses her fingertips and reaches out to lightly touch the side of Christian’s face but he shrugs her off and turns back around to face his father. As the elevator doors close, Carrick stares at Christian, fire blazing behind his eyes and I worry for a second that he’s going to leave. That’s what happened last time he saw Elena and Christian together at that restaurant. He blew up at Christian and he left. I think Christian is worried too because he stares back into his father’s eyes with nervous uncertainty as we wait for him to say something.

“We have work to do,” Carrick says eventually, and although his voice is strained by the hint of anger beneath his tone, relief washes over me. He’s going to stay and help Christian. He’s coming around.

Once they’re back on the couch and Carrick continues his line of questioning, I begin to walk back into the living room to join them, but now my mind is fixated on Elena and the ease at which she seems to be able to gain access to Christian. She has the permissions to get into his office, she has his phone number, she has the code to the elevator to get into his house…

She has something to do with this. I know that this is because of Leila and that she’s more than capable of coming up with this horrible revenge scheme on her own, but my gut tells me that Elena is involved… and I’m going to find out how.

I turn around to follow her down into the garage but just as I reach out for the elevator button, a hand clasps around my wrist.

“Let it go, Ana,” Luke says, looking at me seriously.

“She has something to do with this, Luke,” I argue but he shakes his head.

“Then we’ll deal with it. That’s our job, and that’s the job of the lawyers in the other room. You shouldn’t be around her. Mr. Grey doesn’t want that, and neither do I.”

“Luke…”

“No, Anastasia. I’m not letting you go down there,” He says, and as if to make his point, he tightens his grip around my wrist.

I glare at him, feeling, for the first time, real anger with him. He’s really going to stop me. “You know, I don’t know if I like CPO Luke,” I tell him and he narrows his eyes.

“Then you shouldn’t have asked for him.”

I press my lips together in a tight line and yank my arm out of his grip. He responds by stepping between me and the elevator and so with an exaggerated huff, I turn around and march angrily back into the living room.

By the time I’m ready for bed that night, most of the lawyers have left, but not all of them. Carrick and Christian are deep in conversation and between that and the few people left hovering around printers spewing out court dockets from cases involving sexual harassment or slander, I wonder if Christian’s planning on going to bed anytime soon.

“Hey,” I say to Christian, giving Carrick an apologetic look for interrupting his conversation. “I’m tired.”

“Okay,” he replies. “Go to bed, baby. I’ll be in soon.”

“Okay,” I nod and lean in to give him a gentle, chaste kiss and then hug Carrick before making my way back to the bedroom.

Despite how tired I am, I’m not able to fall asleep. My brain is too crowded, thinking of everything I stand to lose with this Harvard investigation and what my dad would say if he knew the position I’d gotten myself into. I don’t know what kind of internet access he has or if he’s even interested in paying attention to that kind of stuff over there, but part of me is terrified some article about me having sex with my boss in exchange for professional favors is going to get to him. I couldn’t face the look of utter shame and disappointment I know I’d see in his eyes if he read something like that about me. The very thought makes me want to be sick and now, with the secret out, there’s nothing I can do to stop it. He’s gone to war to give me every opportunity in this world, everything I’d ever dreamed of. He sacrificed years of his life for me to go to Harvard and I might have just thrown it all away for a few minutes of hot sex.

I’m not sure how long I lie there wallowing in self-pity, but I’m sure it’s hours. Christian never comes and gets in bed with me and when I eventually roll over to look at my phone and see that it’s nearly two o’clock in the morning, I decide to find out what’s keeping him.

The apartment is dark as I attempt to navigate my way back out to the living room. Everyone has gone home so I know Christian isn’t just up working late, but I can’t find him. He’s not in his office, not in any of the rooms upstairs, not in the kitchen or the living room. The house is black and empty.

He’s not in control. He’s mad and scared and there’s one person who he always relies on when he needs someone to calm him down…

My breath catches in my throat as the fear that he’s gone to see Elena creeps into my mind, but just as I’m about to race back to the bedroom for my phone, a small movement from the balcony catches my eye.

He’s standing there, in the dark, leaning on the steel railing and staring out over the twinkling city lights and the inky black water behind them. I frown and then make my way out to join him. He doesn’t look back at me when I step through the door and into the night air that feels overly chilly as I’m dressed only in Christian’s t-shirt, and as I walk forward to join him, I notice a half empty tumbler of amber liquid resting on the table next to a lounge chair.

“Hey,” I say, “What are you doing out here?”

“Why are you awake, Anastasia?” He asks, still not turning to look at me.

“I couldn’t sleep,” I tell him. “I didn’t know where you were.”

He doesn’t answer that, I simply hear him let out a long low sigh and then watch him stand a little straighter against the railing.

“Are you okay, Christian?” I ask.

“I’m twenty one years old, Anastasia,” He replies so quietly that I have to strain to hear him. “I started my company when I was nineteen. Do you have any idea how difficult it was, how hard I’ve had to work to get people to take me seriously? I am Executive of the Year. They’ve called me a ruthless titan of the business world, a prodigy… and now all anyone will see me as is a kid who can’t control his fucking dick and who harasses young women who work for him. One lie, and I’m a joke.”

“No, Christian, you’re not a joke. This is why your dad wants to fight this, why it’s better that you don’t settle. You’re going to beat her, and you’re going to prove to everyone that you are not somebody who can be threatened or pushed around. You are a titan. You are a prodigy. When this is over, everyone will know that nobody fucks with Christian Grey.”

“I’m sorry that I got you wrapped into this, Ana. This isn’t fair to you and I swear to you that I will clear this up. I will not let her ruin anything for you. I only want to give you things, Anastasia. I never want to take anything away from you.”

“You don’t,” I tell him. “This isn’t your fault, Christian. She’s… crazy. That’s it and we’re going to get through this together. You’re not taking anything away from me. You give me everything. Just the way you hold me, you kiss me, you look at me, you give me everything.”

Finally he releases the steel railing and turns to me, reaching out and pulling me into him. His arms are tight around me, keeping me firmly in place against him, and for several minutes, we don’t move. We just stand there holding each other while we listen to the faint sounds of the city below. I move my head and gently place a kiss against the part of his shirt covering his chest and when I look up at him, he leans down and kisses me. His lips are cold when he presses them into mine, but the tender way he reaches up and caresses the back of my neck as he keeps me tight against him makes it difficult for me to care. I moan my approval as he slips his tongue into my mouth and when he moves his hand to reach up under my t-shirt and gently brushes his fingertips over my sides and cups my breast, this sweet moment between us suddenly morphs into something… hotter.

A deep carnal shiver rocks through me when his fingers clamp down over my hardening nipple and I reach down and grip onto him, feeling his firm erection through his suit pants.

“Oh, Ana,” He whispers. “I want to fuck you. Out here.”

I whimper in response which he must take as an affirmation because he moves me backwards until I’m pressed into the window behind me and though I feel the chill of the glass through my thin t-shirt, the burn that his passion leaves in my skin is hot enough that I hardly notice. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck as he reaches down to lift me so that I can wrap my legs around him. I hold onto him as tightly as possible, kissing him, while he reaches down to undo his fly and release his erection. His fingers grip tightly to the thin band of my panties and with a harsh tug, he tears them down the middle, exposing me to him.

I gasp as he reaches down and swiftly buries himself inside of me. This is so quick! A hungry groan escapes his lips as he thrusts forward, pushing into me so hard that the glass wall begins to shudder slightly. I want to push back against him, but he holds me firm and steady, diving into me again and again, and I’m unable to do anything but cling onto him and revel in the pleasure. He grips my chin, holding my face in place as he kisses me, roughly. He moans and as I feel his fingers press tightly into the side of my face, I realize that this is more than just burning, passionate lust. This is a release of the stress and the fear and the doubt that he’s been overcome with over the long hours of this interminable day. This is real need, and knowing that I can give him an escape, a means for release, by doing this, pushes me into that dark, carnal place where I begin to build and build and… ah!

“Oh god, Ana,” He gasps, his labored breathing hot and harsh next to my ear. “I’ve needed this so much.”

“Yes, Christian!” I moan, my body alive with sensation and deep, primal need for this beautiful, perfect man.

“That’s it, baby,” He encourages me. My body trembles in his arms, and as I begin to clench around him, my impending orgasm just moments away, he realizes how close I am and he forces himself into me with a needy desperation that is a confusing cocktail of worry and eroticism.

“Come with me, Ana,” He says, the order tipping me over the edge and I explode around him, throwing my head back as I scream his name to the still lively city below us.

“Look at me,” He commands. I force myself to turn and look into his burning gray eyes, my mouth agape as the uncontrollable cries of pleasure tumble from my lips while my orgasm continues to wash over me, as he stares back at me intently, I feel his body shudder and he finds his release inside of me.

I’m weak when he eases me back onto the cold terrace, the exhaustion from the late hour and the long day mixing with the sex haze that still has a hold of me. Christian zips up and then scoops me back into his arms and carries me to his bed. Once he’s undressed and under the covers with me, I roll over onto him, my head on his chest, and he wraps his arms around me once more.

“This is going to work itself out, Christian,” I assure him. “You’ll see. This isn’t going to beat you. The truth is what matters, and you have the truth on your side. No matter what happens, no matter what they say about you or print about you, nothing can change that. You’re Christian Grey. You’re the smartest, strongest, most capable person I know. I believe in you. No matter what.”

He doesn’t say anything in reply, but he does tilt his head down to kiss my hair and his hand gently caresses my arm as we lie there together in the darkness and the silence.

“Move in with me,” He whispers, and I look up at him with a furrowed brow. “I don’t want you to have your things in the other apartment, I want them here, with mine. I don’t want your bed and my bed, I want our bed. Our room. Our home. Move in with me, Anastasia.”

I take a deep breath and look into his imploring eyes as I contemplate his request. We’ve only been back together for just over a week, and even though he’s come so far in such a short amount of time, part of me thinks this is too fast. I mean, couples without problems like traumatic bonding with child molesters don’t move in with each other for months, years even… But, then again, I don’t know that other couples love each other in the same absolute and all consuming way that Christian and I do.

“Okay,” I tell him and as the uncertainty in his expression fades away and he leans down to kiss me, I’m able to take one second to forget everything and just enjoy the feel of his lips on mine.

Next Chapter

Chapter 17

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Google Alert: Christian Grey

Seattle Weekly, May 28th 2010: Grey’s New Love Identified. The Mariners 5-4 win over the Detroit Tigers wasn’t the only source of excitement at SafeCo field this last Wednesday. Christian Grey chose the game to debut his new girlfriend to the world who Seattle Weekly can confirm is Katherine Kavanagh, the daughter of Seattle media mogul Alec Kavanagh. Pictured below: Grey and Kavanagh walking []


“You’re dating Kate,” I say, looking up from my phone and across the dining room table at Christian, who is reading the business section of The New York Times over an egg white omelette.

“What?” Christian replies, raising an eyebrow at me.

I click on the article and slide my phone across the polished wood surface of the table. “Someone saw you with her at the Mariners game on Wednesday. It looks like they got a picture of you two getting out of your car.”

He exhales, clearly annoyed, and shakes his head.

“You see what I get for letting Elliot take you in the Bugatti?” He asks.

“A new girlfriend?” I smile, teasingly and he glares at me before sliding my phone back across the table and picking up his own. I flip through the article again, wondering if I should send it to Kate because I know she’s going to think it’s hilarious, but my attention is caught by Christian’s phone call.

“Jacqueline, there’s an article in Seattle Weekly about me dating Katherine Kavanagh. Miss Kavanagh is dating my brother, Elliot. Take care of it,” He says shortly and then hangs up the phone and returns his attention to his paper.

“Who’s Jacqueline?” I ask.

“My publicist. She deals with all the press for GEH, she’ll have them issue a retraction.”

“Why would you want a retraction?” I ask.

“Why would I want the entire city of Seattle to think I’m dating Kate?”

“Well, A- because she’s not me, and B- she’s from a good family, she’s intelligent, she’s beautiful…”

“Beautiful?” He says, his face crinkling with distaste. “I think she’s pretty generic.”

I roll my eyes but before he can argue any further we hear the ping of the elevator arriving and when I peer around the corner, I see Luke walk out of the foyer.

“Hey!” I greet him and he smiles at me.

“Ready for work?”

“Does it look like she’s ready?” Christian asks, clearly irritated as he looks up from his paper.

“No, sir,” Luke replies. “I’ll wait for you in Taylor’s office, Miss Steele.”

He turns around and disappears back into the foyer and once he’s gone I frown at Christian. “Can’t you just be a little bit nice to him?” I ask, disapprovingly.

“He’s staff,” Christian dismisses me.

“He’s your girlfriend’s best friend.”

“I’m not nice to Kate either.”

“Yes you are,” I say and then hold his gaze with a pointed look.

“Fine,” He reluctantly agrees. I smile, get out of my seat, and walk around the table to kiss him. When my lips touch his, I can feel the annoyance he carries in his muscles relax and as I pull away, he gives me a small, sweet smile.

“I love hearing you call yourself my girlfriend,” He tells me, “I’ve really missed that.”

“I love saying it,” I tell him. “But I’m also your intern, Mr. Grey, and I need to get to work. I’ve been told that if you don’t arrive before the CEO, you’re late.”

“Well I suggest you hurry then,” He says teasingly. “I have it on good authority that he’s about ready to leave.”

“Right away, sir,” I tell him, and as I turn away from the table to go grab Luke, Christian reaches out and swats my behind, making me yelp.

I collect my purse from the couch in the living room and then wait for Luke to finish an apparently secret security conversation he’s having with Taylor. Once we’re in the car and on the way to GEH, I realize how much better I feel driving with him than I did with Prescott earlier in the week. In fact, everything is better than it was earlier this week. I’m a little surprised at how quickly I’ve reached this place of blissful happiness. Just three weeks ago I was in my room in Cambridge studying for finals and trying to prepare myself for everything that I was afraid of facing in Seattle. Now I’m here, and after only a little more than a week, I’m preparing for a real, important internship that won’t just look good on a resume but will give me invaluable real life experience for what I want to do.

Most importantly, I have Christian back. We’re happy together, in love all over again. Looking back, I can’t believe I wasted two years keeping myself away from him. Maybe that’s why it was so hard for me after we broke up. It wasn’t just the hurt, not just the betrayal… I’m meant to be with Christian and I’m not whole when I’m away from him.

“How can you listen to this crap?” Luke asks, interrupting my thoughts as we idle in the typical morning traffic. I glare at him and reach over and slap his hand away from my radio.

“Oh, I don’t think so, keep your hands off,” I tell him. “Consider this payback.”

“Payback for what?”

My car, my stereo,” I quote him and he frowns.

“Yeah, but I can say that,” He says. “There’s a difference here, Ana. My taste in music is awesome. Your taste in music is what’s wrong with America.”

I laugh and turn the radio up so that Ke$ha drowns out his complaints and then watch him shake his head and stare dejectedly out the window.

“What are you doing tonight?” He asks when the song is over. “There’s a cool band playing down at The Crocodile.”

“Sorry… Christian and I have, uh… plans,” I say, feeling my cheeks pink.

“Jesus, again?” He exclaims with disbelief.

“Hey, we went two years without having sex,” I argue, trying to sound incensed but failing because I can’t keep the ridiculous grin off my face. “There’s a lot make up for.”

“His dick isn’t going anywhere, Ana, you don’t have to get it all right now. Seriously, aren’t you concerned about chaffing?”

“Not with proper lubrication.”

“Oh, does Costco sell Astroglide in bulk?”

“I wouldn’t know. Christian is more of a… natural lubricant kind of guy.”

“Aaaaaaand that’s the end of this conversation,” Luke says, actually voluntarily turning the radio back up and I laugh.

Besides Ros, Luke and I are the first to arrive at GEH. So, while he heads back to the security office, I make my way around the office to turn on all the lights and then return to the front desk to take the phone off automatic voicemail. When Andrea arrives with Leila twenty minutes later, I’m reading through the material I have to go over with Ros this afternoon about SIP.

“Good morning, ladies,” I greet them and Leila looks at me seriously.

“You said you’re friends with Katherine Kavanagh, right?” She asks and I roll my eyes.

“Don’t worry, it’s not true. She’s dating Elliot Grey, not Christian Grey. Apparently they went to a Mariner’s game with Mr. Grey on Wednesday because they wanted to use his box seats.” I tell her, omitting the fact that I was also at that game…

“Oh, good,” She says, relieved, and as she settles down into her chair and I turn back to my work, I hear the doors to the office open again.

“Good morning, Mr. Grey,” Leila says brightly. Taylor holds open the door, while Christian enters carrying a vase overflowing with soft pink peonies, and I try to hide my smile.

Flowers, Christian? Really?

“Good morning, Leila,” Christian replies as he sets the flowers on the counter. “I thought these would look nice for when clients come through here.”

“They’re beautiful, Mr. Grey,” Leila says, “And they smell wonderful. Peonies are some of my favorite flowers.”

“Then I chose well,” He says, subtly turning to glance and me and I distract myself by looking back down at my computer screen.

“Can I get you some coffee, Mr. Grey?” Leila asks.

“Please,” He replies and then he turns and disappears down the hallway to his office. Leila turns back to Andrea, the look in her eyes a silent plea for her to cover the desk so she can get Christian’s coffee for him.

“Go,” Andrea says, rolling her eyes, and Leila smiles broadly before hurrying off for the breakroom.

“It’s strange,” Andrea says, once Leila is out of earshot. She sounds as if she’s simply musing aloud, but she turns to look at me. “He’s never personally bought flowers. I buy them for his mother and his sister and his grandmother… he’s never even so much as signed a card.”

“Well, it’s for the office,” I shrug. “You know how he likes to be in control of things here.”

“Or maybe they’re for his secret girlfriend,” She says implicitly and I raise an eyebrow at her.

“What do you mean?”

“It’s you, right? The girl that they keep talking about in the papers. I know it isn’t Katherine Kavanagh.”

“What?” I say, realizing too late that my reaction is a little too defensive. “I-I..”

“You have personal security, an apartment in his building, you know everybody, his brother treats you like family, every time you two look at one another it’s like you’re undressing each other with your eyes… and there’s a picture of the two of you together on his desk. It looks like it’s a couple years old but it doesn’t look like a picture of two people who are just friends. You said he had a girlfriend in college, it was you, wasn’t it?”

I stare back at her, dumbstruck. My head is screaming at me to deny it, to lie through my teeth, but I can tell by the look in her eyes, that it would be pointless. She knows.

“Yes,” I admit quietly, “But Andrea, please…”

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” She assures me. “He’s my boss and it’s none of my business. I get why you would want to keep it a secret, and you should. There are sharks here, Ana, and they’ll come to devour you if they think they can. It doesn’t look great, you know, with you being his intern…”

“I’m not using him,” I say defensively and she nods.

“I believe you, but that will be hard to prove. Especially with the announcement about SIP.”

“Tell me about it,” I say ruefully.

“Well hopefully with you being moved to the…” She begins, but stops when her attention is caught by a commotion on the other side of the room.

“Where is he?” Ros says angrily as she storms angrily out of her office. “Christian, is he here yet?” she demands.

“Uh, yeah, he’s in his office,” Andrea replies, slightly taken aback by the hostility in her voice. Even I’m surprised. In all the time I’ve known Ros, I’ve never seen her angry before.

“Good. Ana, can I see you in Christian’s office for a minute?”

Oh shit. Did something happen with SIP?

“Sure, Miss Bailey,” I reply, and I get up and follow her down the hallway towards Christian’s office. We pass Leila in the hallway, who is practically beaming with happiness as she slowly saunters back towards reception, but that changes when she sees Ros and I. She gives me a concerned, questioning glance but all I can do is shrug back at her as I’m pushed through the double wooden doors.

“What the fuck is this?” Ros asks Christian angrily, holding up a manilla folder as she stalks towards his desk.

“Yes, please, come in, Ros,” Christian says irritably.

“What is this, Christian?” She asks again and she throws the file onto his desk. He sighs, reaches out and begins to flip through it.

“This is the GEH non-fraternization policy,” He says and she glares at him.

“This is not the document that was drawn up by our lawyers,” She says. “HR just sent it back to me to let me know that you’ve made changes. I particularly like the part about how this policy applies only to employees having relations with their direct superiors. Is that why you gave me SIP, because you didn’t want Anastasia to be underneath you anymore?”

“That was a poor choice of words,” Christian says, as an involuntary smile crosses his lips but Ros isn’t deterred.

“I’m being serious, Christian. What the fuck are you thinking?”

I feel myself cringe at the way she throws her words at Christian like daggers. She’s really, really mad about this and I don’t really fully understand why… This really feels like more than just her concern for the company, and as I think about what she told me last Saturday night in the sushi bar, I think I realize what the problem is.

He’s one of her best friends, they’ve shared everything with each other for years, they took this gigantic leap into the business world together, alone… She cares about him as more than just a business partner. I don’t think this is the non-fraternization policy, I think this is us hiding our relationship from her, when she knows that we’ve been lying.

“Frankly, I don’t see what the problem is,” Christian says, his own voice terse now. “I think these changes adequately mitigate any concern you had about a relationship between Ana and myself.”

“She’s your intern, Christian,” Ros argues.

“No, she’s your intern,” Christian replies. “You’re taking charge of SIP.”

“Have you disclosed your relationship to HR?” She snaps and Christian’s face lights up with sudden recollection.

“No, but that reminds me,” He says, reaching into his desk drawer and pulling out a large envelope which he hands to me. “This is a relationship disclosure form, I’ve already signed it. Read over it, sign it and give it to HR as soon as you can.”

“You’re going to disclose…?” I begin hesitantly, but he interrupts me.

“It’s confidential,” He assures me and then he turns to Ros. “And will protect GEH in the event something should leak to the press.”

“You told me that nothing was going on between the two of you,” Ros says, turning to me and I blanch under her reproachful stare.

“When I said that, there wasn’t,” I tell her honestly. “I would have told you when that changed but… you freaked me out with this whole fraternization thing. You said I could be fired, and I didn’t want to put you in that position.”

She exhales sharply, but I think I can see the anger behind her eyes beginning to diminish. It looks as though Christian’s assurances are enough to assuage her doubt about our relationship’s effect on GEH because she eventually sighs and nods with conceit. She looks back and forth between the two of us for a moment and then, slowly, a nostalgic kind of smile crosses her lips.

“So, you two are really back together. Like for real?” She asks, and I nod. “When did it happen? How did it happen? No… wait, I don’t want to know that, but, GEH aside… I’m really happy for you guys. I can’t tell you how much he’s missed you, Ana. He hasn’t been the same without you.’

“Thanks, Ros,” Christian says, sharply. “Now, get out.”

“Fine,” She says. “I have a few pressing things to finish up this morning but we can meet in thirty minutes, Ana?”

“Sure,” I agree and just as we turn to leave, there is a long, flat tone that comes out of the phone on Christian’s desk and then we hear Andrea’s voice.

“Mr. Grey, Mr. Grey…er, your brother, just called. He said he needs a meeting with you. He’s on his way over from the construction site.”

“Let me know when he gets here, Andrea,” Christian says, as he turns back to the work in front of him. “Clear my schedule if there are any conflicts.”

“Yes, sir,” She says, and there’s a small clicking noise of her hanging up the receiver on her end and the phone goes quiet.

While I spend the next thirty minutes going over the business proposal I’m supposed to present on SIP for Christian this afternoon, Elliot arrives, looking flustered and holding onto a long cylinder as he strides his way back towards Christian’s office. Although he nods at me as he passes my desk, I know there’s something wrong. Something with the building maybe? I follow him around the corner with my eyes, wondering what could have happy-go-lucky Elliot so upset…

“Ana?” Ros asks, poking her head through her office door. “Ready?”

“Yes,” I say, pushing my concern for Elliot aside and trying to be confident as I pick up my freshly printed business proposal and walk towards her.

Throughout the week, Ros and I spent a great deal of time going over SIP and I made sure that I did not waste the time I had with her. She explained to me that GEH’s success lies in the simplicity of its business model. Christian invests in people, not in companies. What separates GEH from other conglomerate organizations is that Christian isn’t interested in size or a simple bottom line. He’s interested in innovation and the key to GEH’s success is finding the people with the will and the talent to create change and push forward. The subsidiaries of GEH aren’t simply the best in the market, they transform the market, and with that transformation comes profit and growth.

His agriculture division is revolutionizing the farming industry by creating technology that gives higher food yields while using less land, water and fuel. The focus of Grey Construction is to utilize only renewable and energy efficient materials to build homes and buildings so that eventually these structures could become entirely self-sustainable. His first project with the amalgamation of his fiber optics division with telecommunication security and software development has transformed the communication industry by increasing the speed and reliability of electronic transmissions and creating airtight security for encrypted information.

I have been tasked with finding a way to make SIP push the boundaries of the publishing industry, which has been difficult since what I’ve learned over the past few days of research is that the publishing industry is dying.

“Author focused publishing?” Ros asks once she finishes reading through my proposal.

“I know it sounds overly simple…” I say but she shakes her head.

“Simplicity is good. Tell me why author focused publishing will revolutionize the industry.”

“Well, traditional publishing isn’t sustainable. Self Publishing is on the rise. Any person with a laptop and an internet connection can upload their works online and sell it for a fraction of a cost while taking in all of the profit. Kindle’s are found everywhere, Apple just released iPad last month and there are hundreds of reading apps you can download right onto your smartphone… It makes self publishing not only viable but maybe even preferable. Especially with how difficult it is to break into the publishing industry in the first place. SIP has lost three major authors in the last year. I think if we invest in our authors instead of just speculating and chasing whatever the next big thing is going to be, we attract really talented writers, and keep the authors we have publishing through SIP. Then we invest more in ebook technology over traditional printing, and I think SIP makes it.”

“Well your organizational structure looks good, your financial analysis is promising. Overall, I’d say…”

“What the fuck are you doing here?” We hear a loud voice roar from the other side of Ros’s door. She looks curiously in the direction of the noise and we both get out of our seats to find out what the commotion is.

“Get off me, Christian!” Elliot shouts, and Ros and I both stare as Christian physically pushes an irate looking Elliot away from Elena Lincoln, who is sitting in the waiting area next to the reception desk. “She shouldn’t be here!”

“Elliot, calm down!” Christian says firmly, but the way Elliot fights against Christian’s hold on him, it’s almost as if he doesn’t hear him.

“I’m not here to see Christian, Elliot,” Elena says defensively. “I have an appointment with Ros about the new location.”

“Yeah, about that. You can take these plans and shove them up your ass. If you think I’m going to lift a finger to help you move into a location three minutes away from where my mother lives, you’re out of your goddamn mind. You can go to hell you over-botoxed bitch!”

Leila and Andrea both raise their hands to their mouth, shocked at Elliot’s diatribe, and while Elena looks over at them, a mixture of indignance and embarrassment coloring her face, Christian looks furious.

“Elliot!” He yells, gripping tightly to his brother’s suit jacket as he looks like he’s about to lunge at Elena. “Maybe you should take a walk.”

Elliot stares back at him shaking, but Christian holds his gaze, staring him down in a show of authority, and Elliot calms down enough to realize how inappropriate he’s being in the middle of Christian’s office.

“Fine,” he says darkly, and he shrugs Christian off. I watch nervously as Elliot stalks towards Elena, squaring up in front of her with a threatening look in his eyes, before turning and walking through the double doors.

“I’ll be right back,” I whisper nervously to Ros and then I turn and hurry quickly through the reception area, past a still angry looking Christian and a humiliated looking Elena.

“Elliot,” I say gently as the elevator doors open and he begins to step inside. He looks back at me and then takes a deep, shaky breath before reaching out to hold the elevator door open for me. Once I’m inside, he lets the doors slide closed and pushes the button for the garage.

“I can’t believe the audacity of that woman,” He says darkly. “She flaunting this business connection she has with Christian in all of our faces. You think it’s a coincidence that she chose a shopping center I could walk to from my parents’ house as her third location? She sent me plans, Ana. Me, not Grey Construction. Look, attention: Elliot Grey. I swear to god, I want to kill her, Ana. I want to strangle her to death with my bare fucking hands.”

“I know,” I say calmly. “So do I, but I think these plans are a sign that we’re doing something right. I think she’s nervous, Elliot. She’s trying to create chaos or force Christian into a reaction to scare us off because she knows that he’s pulling away from her. We just have to make he doesn’t play right into her hand. She’s already losing, Elliot. Christian hasn’t had the breakthrough he needs to in order to cut her completely out of his life yet, but he’s getting close. I can feel it.”

“I hope so, Ana,” Elliot says. I wrap my arms around him and he squeezes me, rubbing his hand over my back as the elevator doors open.

“Let’s hang out this weekend,” He says as he steps into the parking garage. “Maybe we can talk Christian into some family time.”

“Sure,” I promise and then wave as he turns and walks to his car.

When I get back upstairs, Ros has brought Elena into her office so I grind my teeth together and sit back at my desk to wait until my meeting with Christian, ignoring Leila and Andrea gossiping about the things Elliot said to Elena.

As I look through all the notes I took during my meeting with Ros and double check to make sure I have everything I need, there is a low buzzing sound and I look up to see a delivery man waiting on the other side of the door. Andrea gets up, takes the bags from him and hands them to me.

“This is for your meeting with Mr. Grey. He told me to send you back there once the food got here.”

“Really?”

“Mhm,” She mumbles, dismissing me, and so I take the bags and my files and walk down the back hallway.

“You ordered lunch?” I ask, once I walk into Christian office. He looks up, gets out of his chair and begins walking towards me.

“I’m in meetings all afternoon. I’m not going to have time to take lunch,” He says, and once he reaches me, he places his hand gently on the back of my neck and kisses me deeply, surprising me.

“Christian!” I exclaim as I pull away from him, “We’re at work remember?”

“It’s been a shitty day, Ana,” He says, and he leans down to kiss me again but I stop him.

“Well, we can work out all of that stress at home, tonight, but not here,” I tell him and he huffs with frustration and turns back to his desk.

“Then let’s get to work,” He says. “Please, have a seat, Miss Steele.”

I walk to the desk, taking out the containers of food for him to eat while I prepare. When I begin, he listens attentively, eating his salad and watching me carefully as I lay out my business proposal for him.

His feedback is very similar to Ros’s and that feels very encouraging to me, like I’m on the right track. We discuss financials and the different steps I need to take and how timing is important to each phase of this implementation. He signs off on everything I propose, adding a few of his own notes. He hands me some internal communication he’s had with the current directors of SIP and as I read over them, I have to ignore his overly attentive stare.

“What?” I ask, when I look up from the paper in my hands and see him staring at me. He smiles and then gets out of his seat, walks around his desk and stops in front of me, leaning over and placing both hands on either side of the armrests of my chair.

“You’ve got a little bit of salad dressing on your lip,” He says, and, despite myself, I’m suddenly enraptured by the sudden sexy timber in his voice. Keep it together, Steele.

He reaches out and brushes his thumb over the corner of my mouth, and I stare longingly at him as he sucks the small bead of moisture off his thumb. I inhale sharply at the erotic visual and then he leans down and presses his lips into mine. Slowly, his hand begins to inch up my thigh and under my skirt and when his fingers reach the tops of my stockings, he groans and tugs gently on the nylon.

“Christian,” I say, trying to sound disapproving as I pull away from the kiss, but my voice is so full of desire that I sound more needy than anything else.

“Go lock the door,” He tells me, and I stare back into his piercing gray eyes with hesitation. “Do it,” He commands me again and as reason gives way to yearning, I rise from my seat and hurry across his office to do as he asks. When I turn back around to face him, he’s pacing back around his desk, to his place of power.

“Come here,” He tells me and again, I obey his command. When I’m standing in front of him, he looks over my body once and then slowly reaches up and begins to unbutton my blouse.

“That’s better,” He says once he’s pulled the silky fabric off of me and I’m left standing before him in nothing but my skirt and bra. He sits down in his chair, leans forward and kisses my stomach.

“Get on your knees,” He tells me.

Reaching down to grip the desk so that I don’t fall in my high heels, I carefully lower myself onto the ground in front of him while he unbuckles his belt and then slowly undoes his fly. I breathe in deeply as he reaches into his pants and pulls out his erection and then smile when his hand twists into my hair and he gently pulls my mouth down onto him. As I run my tongue over the tip of his erection, I glance up at him, keeping my eyes on him as I envelop him in my mouth and I feel a rush of satisfaction watching him shudder with pleasure.

His fingers grip my hair tightly as I pull him deeper into my mouth, taking as much of him as I can manage until he’s in the back of my throat. He moans and gasps as I move my head up and down over him, alternating between licking and sucking until I bring him right to the brink…

“Stand up,” He tells me, pulling away from me just before he erupts in my mouth. I lick my top lip as I do what he asks and once I’m standing before him again, he reaches out and pulls my skirt up to my waste. All the muscles south of my navel clench as he leans over and runs his nose up the seam of my stockings on my inner thigh until he reaches the lace top, which he captures in his teeth and tugs on gently before releasing it and running his tongue over the line between the lace and my exposed skin.

“These are so sexy, Anastasia,” He whispers. “When we get home tonight, I want to watch you walk around my apartment in nothing but these and a pair of high heels. Do you understand me?”

“Yes,” I breath and he pulls away from me.

“Turn around and face the desk,” He commands and once I’m facing away from him, He pushes gently on my upper back to bend me over his desk, and then reaches under my skirt and slowly peels my panties down my legs. I step out of them and he tosses them aside. I feel one of his long fingers slide into me and I moan as he starts to move it in and out, adding a second, then a third, all while stimulating my clitoris with his thumb.

“You have such a magnificent ass, Anastasia,” He whispers reverentially. “I love looking at you, bent over and on display for me.”

“Oh…” I moan. “And I love feeling your fingers inside of me.”

He lets out a low breathy laugh. “Oh baby, that’s not all you’re going to feel inside of you. Spread your legs. I’m going to fuck you over my desk.”

I widen my stance, and as he stands behind me, he pushes me down completely flat onto the desk so that my breasts press onto the cool wood surface and my ass is in the air. He runs a hand up my back and grabs a fist full of my hair as he drives into me, pushing as far into me as he can before pulling out and slamming forward again. I gasp and my hands fly out over the desk, knocking a pencil cup noisily to the floor.

“Quiet, baby,” He warns me. “You’ve got to be real quiet.”

“Oh, Christian…” I whisper, and with the sound of his name on my lips, he releases my hair and moves both hands to my hips, gripping tightly as he increases the fervor of his rhythm. I lose myself in the sensation of him filling me, so much so that I’m completely oblivious to the destruction I’m causing by pushing files and loose papers off the desk and onto the floor, but Christian doesn’t seem to care. I feel his hand grip tightly to my behind, his thumb sliding around his erection moving in and out of me and collecting my slick arousal before dragging it up my behind and then rubbing slow circles around the entrance of my ass. I moan as, surprisingly, it feels… good. Really good.

“Do you like that, Anastasia?” He asks huskily.

“Yes,” I whisper and he moans his approval.

“How about this?” He asks again and his thumb pushes slowly inside of me… there. I cry out, trying to be quiet but it’s difficult now as this new sensation has ignited the flame that signals my orgasm is fast approaching.

“Answer me, Anastasia,” He says.

“Yes,” I tell him. “Yes.”

“Mmm baby, I really want to fuck your ass,” He tells me, and as his thumb begins to move in and out of me in synchronization with his thrusts, I feel my insides begin to quicken. “That turns you on, doesn’t it, Anastasia? Thinking about me, here…”

“Yes,” I breath and, when his other hand moves from my hip and smacks me, hard, on the behind, I detonate. Once again my hands fly freely over the desk knocking into his phone, sending papers flying…

“Oh, Christian! Harder, harder, harder…!”

“Oh, baby, yes… Fuck, I’m coming! Oh god, Anastasia!”

“Um… Mr. Grey?” Andrea’s nervous voice comes through the intercom on Christian’s phone and he stills immediately.

“Oh my god!” I say, looking over at the phone in horror and Christian curses under his breath as he reaches over to disconnect the call. I scramble off the desk, pulling my blouse back over me and begin searching frantically for my panties as I feel a wave of dread and humiliation coarse over me at the thought of me screaming out my orgasm being broadcast over speaker phone in reception.

“What do we do?” I asked panicked and he reaches down under his desk, picks my panties up off the floor and hands them to me.

“Calm down, Ana, we’re not committing a crime here. It’s going to be okay.”

“I’m not worried about being arrested, Christian. I have to go back out there. I have to sit next to Andrea for the rest of the day knowing that she knows that we were just… oh god, this is so humiliating.”

“You’re embarrassed?” He ask, a note of hurt behind his voice.

“No! I mean, yes… but not because of you, of course not because of you. Christian, we’re at work. You’re the boss… Think of how uncomfortable this is for Andrea and… oh my god, Leila. She’s going to freak out… Not to mention I now look like the girl who can’t make it through one meeting without getting naked for the CEO. Oh my god…”

“Who cares what they think?” Christian says. “Anastasia, I love you. I’m so fucking tired of this whole secret keeping bullshit. I want the world to know that you’re mine. You’re not some slutty intern fucking her boss to get ahead, you’re my girlfriend. Everyone else is just going to have to deal with that. I’m not ashamed that I can’t keep my hands off of you, you’re beautiful and sexy and being in this building doesn’t change how much I want you.”

“I know, Christian, and I want you too. All the time. Even here. I’m not trying to say that I don’t. I don’t mean that I regret… I mean, I just…”

“Do you want me to go out there?” He asks. “I’ll talk to them, I’ll put an end to anything being said before it can start.”

“No, I don’t think that will make it better,” I take a deep breath. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I freaked out… I’ll be fine. You’re right, you’re my boyfriend, this isn’t some sleazy affair. We had sex, people in relationships have sex. I can handle this, it’s fine.”

“You’re sure?” He asks and I nod and then lean over and kiss him softly on the lips.

“Thanks for the desk action, Mr. Grey. Per usual, it was fan-fucking-tastic.”

“Anytime, Miss Steele,” He replies, and he kisses me once more before I turn, gather my things and then walk with what I hope is confident conviction out of the office.

Once the door is closed behind me, I hear voices drifting up the hallway but they’re cut off by what sounds like, Luke.

“Okay everybody just needs to relax,” He says. “He’s your boss. He pays you to do a job, not to sit around and gossip with each other. Get it together and get back to work.”

Everybody? Fuck, who’s out there?

I take a deep breath and come around the corner, and to my horror, I find not only Andrea and Leila in reception, but also Leila’s friend Suzannah, Luke, Taylor, Ros and… fuck.

“Well, I better be going,” Elena says sharply, her eyes flashing malevolently when she sees me. “Esclava doesn’t run itself. Thank you for the meeting, Ros. I’ll be in touch.”

“Good-bye, Mrs. Lincoln,” Ros says with a tight smile and then she gives me an irritated look before turning around for her office.

I glare back at Elena as she leaves through the glass doors towards the elevator and then make my way back to my seat behind the front desk, trying to maintain a sense of composure as I settle down into my seat.

“You okay, Ana?” Luke asks, concerned, and I nod.

“I’m fine, Luke,” I reply, smiling up at him as I open the lid to my macbook.

“Fine,” Leila scoffs. “Of course she’s fine. She has a great new job, a company car…”

“Leila,” Andrea says, her voice a warning and I take a deep breath and turn to face her.

“Is there something you need to say to me, Leila?” I ask and her nostrils flare.

“Oh there’s a lot that I need to say to you,” She replies angrily. “Tell me, Anastasia, did you fuck him to get the whole internship or just the SIP deal?”

“Leila!” Andrea exclaims.

“I think you need some time to collect yourself, Miss Williams,” Luke says harshly. “Why don’t you go to lunch?”

“Shut up, Sawyer. I think I’d like an answer to the question,” Leila says, not looking away from me. “Seriously, Anastasia. What did he promise you to make you whore yourself out to him?”

“Excuse me?” a voice says darkly from behind us and Leila whips around to see Christian standing at the end of the hallway glaring furiously at her.

“Mr. Grey!” Leila exclaims.

“What did you just say?” Christian asks, stalking threateningly towards the desk. “Did I just hear you call Miss Steele a whore?”

“I-I…”

“Pack your things,” Christian growls. “You’re done here.”

“Mr. Grey, I-,” Leila stutters but Christian ignores her pleas and instead turns to look at Suzannah who is watching the scene in front of her with eyes as wide as dinner plates.

“Who the fuck are you?” Christian asks.

“I’m- uh, I’m Suzannah Evans, sir. I’m a marketing intern.”

“Why are you here?” Christian barks at her. “There is a reason those doors have security permissions on them. My office is not a place for you to be loitering, Miss Evans.”

“I’m sorry, sir,” She says and she turns around and practically throws open the glass door in her attempt to get away as quickly as possible.

“Does anyone else have a problem they want to discuss?” Christian asks, looking around the room but under his irate gaze, no one so much as breathes let alone speaks up. “Good.” He snaps. “Now get back to work. Andrea, you can post the position for a new receptionist.”

“Mr. Grey!” Leila says, sounding as though she’s on the edge of tears.

“I said you’re fired, Miss Williams. Pack your things and get the fuck out of my office.” He turns and storms back up the hallway.

We hear his office door slam closed and then Leila, after standing and gaping at the hallway in silent shock for several seconds, devolves into tears, her breath coming in harsh, gasps as she falls back into her chair. I turn away from her, knowing I’m not a person who can comfort her right now. She just lost her job and I’m partially to blame… so I say nothing. I log into my laptop and quietly begin incorporating the notes Christian gave me into my business proposal.

It’s incredibly awkward when Andrea retrieves a brown, cardboard box from the copy room and begins to help Leila gather her things. I try to focus solely on the screen of my laptop, to not even look in her direction, but once she’s packed up and ready to be escorted out of the building by Ryan, she stops and turns to face me one last time.

“This isn’t going to turn out well for you, Anastasia,” She says menacingly. “You have no idea what I’m capable of. I’ll ruin him. I’ll ruin you. You’re going to regret ever coming here.”

“That’s enough,” Ryan says. “Let’s go, Miss Williams.”

She gives me one last examining look and turns toward the door and as I watch her step into the elevator and disappear from sight, I feel a cold shiver of trepidation wash over me.

Next Chapter

Chapter 16

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We only have about an hour to lay with one another until Christian has to return to his own apartment to get ready to leave for work. When the alarm he set on his iPhone goes off, he groans and rolls out of the bed.

“Maybe you should stay home today,” I suggest as I watch him sluggishly shrug into his jacket. “That’s two of the last three nights you haven’t slept at all. You look dead on your feet.”

“I can’t,” He croaks. “I have an important meeting this afternoon.”

“Christian, you look like you can barely stand…”

“I’ll be fine. I just need some coffee,” He says, and he kisses me on the forehead before turning and shuffling out of the room. I bite down on my lip, wondering if there is anyway I could change his mind, or if maybe Elliot or Taylor might be able to talk him into at least going in late this morning, but I know better. Once Christian has made up his mind, there’s no changing it.

I sigh heavily and get out of bed, making my way into the bathroom to get ready for the day. Thirty minutes later, there is a knock on my front door, so I set my curling iron down in the sink and hurry to answer it. When I open the door, I deflate a little as I’d been hoping it would be Christian deciding he wanted to sleep in this morning after all, but it’s not. It’s Prescott, looking stiff in her clean gray suit and staring down at me with a detached kind of deference.

“Are you ready, Miss Steele?” She asks, her flat, professional tone instantly reminding me why I preferred Luke over her as my personal security detail.

“Almost,” I tell her. “Come in. Please, make yourself at home.”

“Thank you, Miss Steele,” She says.

I step aside and she walks into the apartment, but stays close to the front door. I glance awkwardly back at her as I head back into the bathroom to finish getting ready and when I’m finished, and I return to the kitchen to make some breakfast, I notice that she hasn’t moved at all.

“Can I get you some coffee, uh… Prescott?” I ask, realizing that I don’t know her first name. I know Christian likes to address his staff by their surnames, but it feels weird to me.

“No, thank you, Miss Steele,” She says, and I frown as I turn around and turn on the coffee maker for myself.

“I’m sorry if this sounds rude, but what is your first name?” I ask.

“Samantha, ma’am.”

“Right. Well, Samantha, when did you get back from Cambridge?”

“A few days ago, ma’am.”

“And did you enjoy your time there? I’m not a big fan of the winters on the east coast but it’s lovely in the springtime. I love it when all the trees on campus are full and green again, it’s beautiful.”

She nods. She just… nods, and I turn back to the coffee pot, take a deep breath and try again.

“Luke told me when we first met that you like old movies? I have an obsession with old Hollywood. Luke always tells me that he can tell whether or not I’ll like a movie based on the amount of color in it. What are your favorites?”

“I’m sorry ma’am… I’m not really a fan of television or movies. I’ve always thought they were a waste of time, really. I’m your CPO so if you would like to stay in a watch a movie, I’d be happy to join you. I do need to get you to work now, though.”

“Yeah, maybe… another time,” I say grimly. I pick up my coffee cup and the sigh as I lead the way out to the elevator, feeling Prescott’s hawk like gaze on me all the way.

The drive to work is awkward. Prescott just stares at me the entire way, and if I don’t address her directly, she’s completely mute. It’s so weird that I can’t even enjoy listening to my favorite radio station because I feel to embarrassed to sing along with the music under her critical gaze. I’m actually glad to make it into the office this morning because it means Prescott has to go back into the security office, rather than hovering over me. I’d rather spend my morning listening to Leila pine over my boyfriend, than try and force anymore awkward conversation with my CPO.

It’s that bad.

“Ana!” Andrea says with obvious relief when I come through the doors. “Thank-god you’re here.”

“Hey, Andrea… what’s up?” I ask dubiously, a little stricken by the tension I see radiating off of her.

“Mr. Grey called and gave me a list of things he needs done this morning. Of course the operations meeting is this afternoon and I am still waiting on emails from four different department heads to put together the meeting agenda. I know it’s not your job, but I thought since you got that brand new car yesterday, you wouldn’t mind running a few errands for me?”

“Sure,” I shrug and then turn as the door opens behind me and Leila comes rushing in.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She cries as she scampers forward for her desk and Andrea glares at her.

“Of all days to be late, you choose today? The phone has already been ringing off the hook and Mr. Grey isn’t even here yet!”

“I know, I’m sorry…” Leila says, but that’s all she gets to say as the phone rings again.

I walk around the desk to put my things away and then sit down to start up my laptop while I wait for Andrea to give me her list of errands. As I scroll through the general company wide emails that are cluttering my inbox, Luke comes through the door with Ryan. I smile broadly at him as he approaches the desk.

“How’s it going, Steele?” He asks with a warm, wide grin that brings me right back to the days when he’d visit me in the library at Harvard.

“Better for me than some,” I tell him, nodding at Andrea scrolling through an email with one hand while trying to write her instructions for me with the other.

“Operations meeting,” Luke shrugs. “I’m glad Taylor deals with that so I don’t have to. Seems like a whole lot of pointless stress. How was your night?”

“Fine,” I reply, because I know work isn’t the best place to recount the events of the previous night. “You?”

“Good, I talked to Leah last night, that girl I told you about the other day.”

“And?” I ask excitedly.

“And, I’ve finished your list,” Andrea interrupts. “Sorry, Luke.”

“Nope, I get it,” He says, backing away and holding his hands, palm out, in front of him. “I’ll talk to you later, Ana.”

“Yeah…” I say regretfully and as I watch him walk away, I decide that I’m going to find a way to convince Christian that he should make Luke my CPO again. I’m not going to suffer through an entire summer of having Prescott follow me around when the person who was originally hired to do that, who I’d prefer to do that, is still on Christian’s payroll.

I take the list from Andrea and turn to close the lid of my laptop when, once again, I hear the lock on the door click open.

“Good Morning, Mr. Grey,” Leila says cheerfully as Christian and Taylor come through the door. I look up and examine him carefully, frowning as I realize that he doesn’t look much better than he did this morning. Though his suit is immaculate and his hair is in it’s usual sexy state of perfect disarray, he looks so tired it leaves an almost gaunt quality to his beautiful face. I am pleased to notice that at least Taylor looks a little concerned.

“Good Morning, Leila,” Christian replies dully, not stopping at her desk on his way to his office, and then he calls over his shoulder, “Coffee. I need coffee.”

“Don’t you dare get out of that seat,” Andrea threatens Leila once Christian is out of sight. “I do not have time to help you this morning.”

“The CEO has asked for coffee,” Leila says indignantly.

“I’ll get it for him,” I say, getting up and tucking the list of errands Andrea gave me into the pocket of my blazer. I head down the opposite hallway, waving through the door to a stressed looking Ros as I pass her office, and enter the break room. Once I’ve fired up the espresso maker, I begin searching through the cupboard for Christian’s preferred cup and then take milk out of the fridge to steam. I add an extra shot, knowing he’s going to need the pick me up, and then make my way to Christian’s office.

Christian is focused on the MacBook on his desk, and even though I can tell that focus is something he seems to be having difficulty maintaining, it’s enough that he doesn’t look up at me as I approach his desk.

“Here’s your coffee,” I say, as I set the cup on his desk.

“Thank you, baby… I mean, Miss Steele,” He says, shaking his head slightly as if to reorient himself. I look at him, concerned.

“Christian, you need sleep… you should go home.”

“I can’t today,” He says. “I’ll be fine, just keep the coffee coming.”

“You sure you don’t want something stronger?” I ask. “Adderall? Cocaine maybe?” He looks up and glares at me, and it’s then that I remember what he told me about his mother and his subsequent feelings towards drugs. Shit.

“Sorry, that was supposed to be a joke,” I tell him, backtracking. “I’ll go and get you another coffee… I should also tell you that Andrea is swamped preparing for your meeting so she’s asked me to take care of the list of errands that you gave her. I’m going to be out of the office all morning.”

“Just make sure you take security with you,” He says, and I promise him that I will before I fetch him another cup of coffee.

As I leave his office for the second time, I get an idea… I poke my head through the door of the security office down the hall and see Ryan, Prescott and Luke all focused on monitors displaying images from different parts of GEH.

“Hey, Luke?” I say, trying to get his attention. “Can you come with me for a bit?”

“Uh… sure?” He replies, locking the display on his monitor and following me out into the hall. “What’s up?”

“I have some errands to run this morning and Christian says I have to take security with me.” I tell him and he narrows his eyes at me.

“I think you’re supposed to take Prescott.”

“He didn’t say that. He said I was supposed to take security. You’re security.”

“I’m not your CPO anymore, Ana.”

“Well, I’m rejecting Prescott as my CPO. I’m not interested in having her tagging along with me everywhere that I go so either you can come with me or I’m going by myself. You choose.”

He hesitates for a moment, looking like he really isn’t sure which would be the worse outcome for him and then he sighs. “Fine, I’ll go with you, but you know that you’re going to get me fired, right?”

“Nonsense,” I tell him. “That’s the beauty in all of this. I have an in with boss.”

I smile broadly at him as he rolls his eyes and then walks with me through reception and into the elevator. As the doors close, I vaguely hear my phone buzz in my bag and I pull it out and see a new email.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: One more thing…

Date: May 25th 2010 09:45 AM

To: Anastasia Steele

I forgot to tell you, you look beautiful today. I love you, baby.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings INC

My heart melts a little at his sweet words and I smile as I hit reply.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Blushing

Date: May 25th 2010 09:46 AM

To: Christian Grey

Making me cry is not going to help me keep the secret. I can’t wait to get you home so I can show you exactly how I feel about you, Mr. Grey. Although that might have to wait until you get some sleep!

XX Your Ana

Anastasia Steele

Implementation Director, Grey Enterprises Holdings

The list that Andrea has given me is made up entirely of personal things: Pick up dry cleaning, order flowers to send to Grandma Trevelyan for her birthday… Luke and I even have to go back to Escala as Christian is having custom made shirts delivered today from Milan as well as several pieces of furniture.

“I don’t understand,” I tell Luke as I climb back into the Lincoln after spending nearly forty five minutes in Christian’s penthouse and enduring three different hysteric phone calls from Andrea asking when I was going to be back, “How could he possibly expect Andrea to get all of this done today and prepare for this meeting that seems to have everyone in a panic? Why would he schedule all of this for today?”

“Oh, I keep forgetting you’re new and haven’t realized yet that Mr. Grey sets unrealistic expectations for everyone around him.”

“Come on, Luke. That’s not fair…”

“It is though. Look, the guy is amazing. He regularly accomplishes the impossible, over and over again and it seems no matter how high the bar is set, he surpasses it. People should study him, like, biologically, just to make sure he isn’t secretly Kryptonian or something… but the problem with him being so good at everything, is that he expects the people around him to function at that same level of proficiency. He’s not the easiest guy to please.”

I purse my lips together as I think about Christian back at Harvard, constantly pushing Ros whether it was for their business plans or just to study. She never had any free time… well, until we started dating. Well, maybe now that we’re back together again, he’ll ease up on some of his employees the way he did with Ros.

When we get back to GEH, my phone rings again and when I look down and see Christian’s name on the screen, I answer immediately.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask

“Anasta…a wh… the fu…k …re …ou?” I think he’s yelling but I don’t have any reception in the underground parking garage so I can’t really understand him.

“Christian?” I say, straining to hear him but as I step into the elevator, the phone beeps twice in my ear and the call drops. I figure it will be fine to simply wait til I’m back upstairs to ask him what he wanted but as the doors open on the eighth floor, I realize that was a mistake. I can’t distinguish what he’s saying through the glass doors, but I can hear him yelling at Andrea. He stops though the second he hears the electronic beep and the sound of the lock opening on the door and he turns cold eyes on Luke and I.

“What’s going on?” I ask as I step into the entryway, but I stop moving when I look down and see Christian’s hands shaking.

“Sawyer,” He says, in a deathly calm, even tone. “Go pack your things, you’re fired.”

“What!” I exclaim, and when Luke takes a deep steeling breath next to me and then nods before attempting to walk deliberately towards the security office. I reach out to grab him and hold him in place as I glare at Christian.

“Christian…” I begin but he silences me.

Miss Steele,” He says harshly, emphasizing the words to demonstrate my lack of decorum. “We need to have a conversation. My office. Now.”

I swallow hard as Christian turns and storms back towards his office and do my best to ignore the eyes of everyone in the room on me.

“You’re not going anywhere,” I say to Luke. “I’ll fix this, just… go back to your office and stay there for awhile.”

Luke looks at me doubtfully but I give him, what I hope is, a reassuring nod and then I straighten up and follow after Christian.

“Looks like we’re getting a new intern…” I hear Leila say quietly behind me, and I’m pleased to hear that she at least sounds a little regretful.

I pause for brief second outside of Christian’s office door to prepare myself for the anger I know is waiting for me. So I took Luke instead of Prescott… that’s not a crime and definitely not a reason Luke should lose his job. He’s a security officer, he was ensuring my security. I nod at my own affirmation and slowly open the door. I’m caught unprepared though as before I even step inside, Christian reaches out, yanks me into the room, then slams the door closed and locks it behind me.

“What do you think you’re doing, Anastasia?” He growls at me.

“You told me to take security with me.”

“I meant, Prescott! Prescott is your CPO.”

“I don’t want Prescott, Christian. I want Luke.”

His jaw tenses and then his hands fly up to the side of my face, reaching up into my hair to hold me in place as he pushes me into the wall at my back while his lips come crashing down on mine.

I feel his teeth scrape against my bottom lip, pulling my mouth open so his tongue can invade me. I whimper slightly, out of shock more than anything, but he doesn’t ease back. His lips are hard and insistent, his tongue unrelenting as it entwines with mine. He moans a deep, sexy sound as he claims me and even though I’m here to make a stand for Luke, his ferocity still elicits a deep shiver of desire within me that rattles my core. When at last he breaks away from the kiss and I look up at him, out of breath, but determined.

“Please, Christian,” I plead with him. “I don’t want Prescott. I don’t like being around her. She’s weird and awkward and boring and she makes me uncomfortable. Luke’s my best friend, he knows me and he gets me and I like being around him. If you expect me to take security with me everywhere I go, why can’t it be him?”

“I don’t trust him around you.”

“We’re just friends, Christian! Seriously, yesterday when you told the security team we were back together, he was happy for us. He knows that I want you, he’s not interested in me that way at all. He’s like a brother to me, like Elliot. You trusted him to protect me for almost two years, you can trust him now.”

“I did trust him,” Christian says darkly. “And he broke that trust when he took you to Vermont last spring.”

“What would you have had him do?” I ask angrily. “I was going with or without him. I could have climbed that mountain alone if that’s how you would have preferred it?”

“Anastasia…”

“This is my condition, Christian. I don’t want security and the only way that I’ll be okay with having a CPO at all, is if it’s Luke. Besides, wouldn’t you rather me hang out with him during the day when you’re at work rather than at night when I could be with you?”

He frowns but I think I’m getting through to him.

“Please, Christian,” I implore him. “He’s good at his job. I feel safe with him and you should too. He cares about me as more than just a client and if you’re really afraid for my safety, you should know that Luke’s friendship means that he will protect me better than anyone else on your security team. The only person I could be safer with than Luke Sawyer is you… And maybe Batman,” I add hoping to coax a smile out of him and surprisingly, it works.

“Just friends?”

“Just friends.” I confirm.

“Fine,” He concedes. “But no more of this sneaking out together business, I don’t care if it is for dry cleaning.”

“Don’t be dramatic, we didn’t sneak out,” I tell him, and then I smile at him. “I really like your new dining room table. It has… possibilities.”

He smirks and then turns around, unlocks the door, and then walks back to his desk, holding down a button on his phone until we hear Taylor’s voice.

“Yes, Sir?”

“Taylor will you send Sawyer in here please?”

“Right away, sir,” Taylor replies and we both sit on the edge of his desk, Christian slumping over a little as the anger recedes and is immediately replaced by exhaustion again, and wait for Luke. He knocks on the door and when Christian tells him to come in he looks dubiously between the two of us.

“Sir?” Sawyer asks and Christian crosses his arms, looking sternly at Luke as he speaks.

“I’m reinstating you as Miss Steele’s CPO. Immediately. You can let Prescott know.”

“Really? Uh… Thank-you, sir,” Luke says, unbelieving, and I smile at him. I told him I would make this right, didn’t I?”

“Fine,” Christian replies. “But Sawyer, if anything happens again like what happened in Cambridge, you will be out of a job this time.”

“Yes, sir,” Luke says, nodding as he turns around and quickly leaves the office, presumably so that Christian can’t change his mind.

“Thank-you,” I tell him, leaning over and kissing him gently on the lips.

“Behave,” He replies, moving me away from him. “The door is unlocked after all and your dining room table comment has left me with all kinds of ideas.”

“I apologize, Mr. Grey,” I say sweetly, and he grins and then stands, close enough to me that he’s only just not touching me.

“Tonight though, Miss Steele, I’m going to fuck you until you can’t remember your own name and everyone living in Escala knows mine,” He says, in a low, throaty voice and it sends a wave of heat over me that pools in the deepest parts inside of me.

“Promises, Promises, Mr. Grey,” I tell him and I purposefully bite down on my lip as I turn around and saunter out of his office.

Taking a second to pull myself together, I lean back against Christian’s door, smiling to myself at the sensual threat that I truly hope he makes good on, and then walk back out to reception where I see Andrea frantically collecting things off of her desk and checking things off the list she has taped to the counter.

“What happened?” Leila asks, as she hangs up the phone and turns to look at me.

“Nothing, it was a misunderstanding,” I reply and she looks at me curiously.

“So, you’re not fired?” Andrea asks, a hint of hope in her voice.

“No, I’m not fired,” I tell her and she exhales with relief.

“Oh thank god, I only have fifteen minutes before everyone starts showing up. I need your help.” She tells me.

“What can I do for you?”

“I’ve just finished putting together the agenda, will you make like… twenty copies of it? I’ll need you to staple them and leave one at each place around the table in the big conference room. Shoot, they’ll need water too. Go into the break room, there should be water bottles in the refrigerator. Miss Bailey likes lime with her water, so use the limes out of the bottom drawer, you’ll have to cut them up. Mr. Grey likes sparkling water, there should be Perrier in there too. He takes his with lemon and he’ll want a glass with ice. Everyone else can just have the regular bottled water. Oh, and pens and notepads. Make sure there is one at every seat.”

I watch her eyes dart frantically back and forth as she tries to think of anything she’s missed, and as she reaches out to hand me the files in her hand, she lets them go before I have hold of them and they fall to the ground, spreading haphazardly across the floor.

“No!” She cries, and she falls to her knees to put everything back in the right order. I kneel down to help her and just as Leila turns to help as well, the sound of the lock opening on the main door distracts her and she turns to look at whoever it is who has entered.

“Oh, good morning, Mrs. Lincoln,” She says and I stop, feeling as though my blood has just gone cold.

“Good Morning, Leila,” Elena’s sickeningly familiar voice responds. “Is Mr. Grey in his office?”

“I believe so,” Leila replies. “Would you like me to let him know you’re here?”

“Oh, that’s okay. I’m just going to pop in and say hello before the meeting,” She replies and I drop the papers in my hand and stand up from behind the desk. Elena turns to look at me and her smile falters when she realizes who I am.

“Anastasia,” She says, surprised. “What are you doing here?”

“I work here,” I reply coldly.

“Really?” She asks and then, as if she’s realized the pleasant facade that she’s trying to maintain has slipped, she straightens her posture and smiles sweetly at me. “I thought you were at Harvard?”

“It’s summer break,” I reply, not returning her saccharin disposition. “I’m here as Christian’s intern.”

“I’m surprised. I didn’t realize you and Christian were on speaking terms again.”

“Well, Elena, there might be a lot that you don’t realize. There have been changes over the last few weeks that you’re probably not aware of.”

I watch her nostrils flare as she takes a deep breath in through her nose and swallows the vitriol I know she wants to spit back at me. Instead she smiles again and then turns to walk down the hallway towards Christian’s office. I grind my teeth together and as I turn to see if Andrea has all of the papers sorted out, I see Leila giving me a dubious look out of the corner of her eye.

“Look, I know you probably just saved your job… Can I… make a suggestion?” She asks, and I raise an eyebrow at her. “Look, obviously you know who Mrs. Lincoln is, I guess like you seem to know everyone else, but she’s really not a person you want to be on the bad side of if you want to keep working here. I’m Mr. Grey’s fourth receptionist in the last two years and I’ve been here 11 months. The first one and the one before me are gone because Mrs. Lincoln didn’t like them. She’s… close to Mr. Grey.”

“What do you mean close?” I ask, prying now.

“Well, she seems to have more of a presence around here than any of the other department heads and she doesn’t even work in this building. She’s the only person Mr. Grey will meet outside of the office for a meeting and she’s the only one besides Miss Bailey who can openly question him and not be berated or fired. Look, I know she’s… fake, but you’ll save yourself a lot of trouble if you just bite the bullet and suck up to her a little bit. I’ve just started to like you, Ana. I don’t want to see you run off like all the other girls that come through here.”

“I’m not worried about Elena Lincoln,” I tell her firmly as I turn and march purposefully around the desk.

“Ana, I really wouldn’t…” Leila calls, but I ignore her.

Christian’s door is closed, and as uncomfortable as that makes me, I find myself pausing and then stopping to listen as I hear their voices coming through the door.

“I’m just surprised is all,” Elena says. “The last time I talked to you, she still wasn’t answering your calls.”

“Well, she did,” Christian replies shortly.

“Are you… I mean, she said she’s working here, but are you two… sleeping together again?”

“That’s none of your business, Elena. My sex life does not concern you.”

“I know… but I came early today to tell you that I met a girl that I think you’d really like. She’s younger than you are, nineteen, but she’s in the lifestyle and she’s experienced. She’s a gymnast, very flexible. I thought you might like to meet her for lunch.”

“I’m not interested.”

“That’s fine,” Elena concedes. “I suppose that means that you at least intend to try and mend things with Anastasia? How’s that going? Has she gotten over what happened? I mean, I know you love her but I worry that maybe her proclivity to run away from you every time the going gets tough, will end up hurting you again. You know how much it pains me to see you wounded.”

I swallow the bile that crawls into my throat and shove open the door. The second I step into the office, Christian bolts out of his seat and Elena turns around, taking a deep, agitated breath when she sees me.

“Get away from him,” I say darkly, and the anger I feel at seeing the two of them together for the first time since the trial has me physically shaking.

“Anastasia…” Elena begins, but I cut her off.

“No,” I say firmly. “You don’t get to be alone with him anymore. Get out.”

“Excuse me?” She asks, turning incredulous eyes on Christian.

“Don’t look at him. I’m not talking to Christian right now, I’m talking to you, Elena, and I’m telling you that you need to leave.”

She doesn’t turn to look at me, her eyes are piercing into Christian as if she’s expecting him to defend her and the confidence she exudes actually sends a shock of fear through me. Is he going to defend her? Surely, after last night, he couldn’t…

He glances between the two of us and then takes a deep breath and stares intently back into her hard gaze.

“The meeting starts in eleven minutes, Elena,” He says calmly. “You can wait in reception.”

I see the carefully constructed look of composure on her face falter slightly as she realizes she’s being dismissed but it’s back just as quickly as it left.

“Of course,” She says graciously, and as she turns for the door she smiles at me. “The past two years have been good to you, Anastasia. You look fantastic. It really is a pleasure to see you again.”

I raise a disgusted eyebrow at her as she sashays out of the office and then turn to look at Christian who is looking at me pointedly.

“I told you,” He says. “She doesn’t mean anything to me. She’s a business associate, Anastasia.”

“I don’t want you alone with her,” I tell him. “I don’t want you to talk to her at all.”

“I promise, Anastasia. You don’t have to worry about her anymore. I’m in control now.”

I exhale sharply, but decide, like Flynn did last night, I should take the small victory. He did ask her to leave. He wasn’t inviting to her, he wasn’t particularly kind to her. He treated her like an employee, nothing more, and he sent her away. That’s acceptable. For now.

With just under ten minutes left until the meeting starts, I’m able to make copies for Andrea and set up the conference room as she asked. I’m just placing a slice of lemon over the rim of Christian’s glass as a group of men and women dressed in expensive suits file into the room and I smile as I realize that one of them is Elliot.

Andrea moves stealthily towards the back of the room to take a seat and as she pulls out her iPad, I move to sit next to her. Everyone takes their place around the table, leaving the seat at the head open, until Christian comes in the room. I can tell he’s trying to hide his exhaustion as his eyes sweep over everyone, and when he settles down into his chair and casually flips through the agenda on the table in front of him, he briefly glances up at Elena, who is seated directly on his right.

“Mrs. Lincoln, you need to move down to the end of the table,” He says and she furrows her brow. I watch as every one of GEH’s executives, including Ros, glance nervously in Christian’s direction. Some even look shocked, as if his statement was the equivalent of striking her across the face.

“Mr. Grey?” Elena asks in a tone that suggests she’s sure that she must have heard him incorrectly.

“Move. Now,” He says, more firmly this time and now she looks shocked. Still, once she’s gathered herself, she gets out of her seat and moves to the only empty place left at the table.

“Miss Steele?” Christian says, gesturing to the empty seat with his eyes before he looks back down at the papers in front of him. Andrea raises an eyebrow at me, mirroring the confused expressions of everyone seated at the table, as I quickly get out of my seat and make my way to the chair next to Christian. I glance back at Elena and see her glaring so fiercely at me, I wonder if she’s trying to strangle me with her mind Darth Vader style.

“Alright, let’s make this quick,” Christian begins. “We’ll start with construction. Grey, where are we at with the new building?”

I turn to look at Elliot, seated across the table from me next to Ros and he has to peel his gaze away from Elena to answer Christian’s question. Clearly, he was not expecting to see her here and he isn’t happy about it.

“The permits were approved by the city last week, we broke ground yesterday,” Elliot says, his tone clipped. “Work on the substructure should begin by Friday morning.”

“Good, I want Taylor to work with you and the architect through every step of the process. There are blind spots in this building that I’d like to avoid in the new construction.”

“Sure,” Elliot shrugs and Christian looks irritably up at him, clearly displeased by his less the formal response, but Elliot isn’t paying attention. He looks over at Elena again, then back at me, and then back at Elena. I give him an I-know-and-I’m-not-happy-about-it-either kind of look, and then turn to Christian who reluctantly moves on.

“Barney, how are we on the GPS upgrade R&D has been working on?” He asks.

There is a sense of tension around the table as Christian moves from department head to department head. He’s firm and almost short with each update he gets and I don’t know if that’s because he’s tired, or if that’s the norm. He does seem to ask a lot of questions that catch his staff off guard and when anyone poses a problem, he’s the one to come up with a solution almost every time. I’m also shocked to hear how well every department seems to be doing and the innovating things they’re working on. I’m realizing, as I’m watching Christian navigate his business, that this is his element. He really is good at this.

“Alright. Esclava,” He says, and he turns his expectant gaze on Elena.

“It’s been a good quarter,” Elena replies tersely, obviously still a little upset about Christian’s dismissal of her at the beginning of the meeting. She passes two blue files up for Christian and Ros to look at as she continues. “Our repeat clientele has increased twelve percent over the last three months and our profits are nearly twenty five percent higher than what we projected.”

“How?” Ros asks, astonished, as she glances at the financial summary in her hand.

“We’ve brought on some new staff in the past few months. I credit a lot of repeat business to their talent. As Mr. Grey says, it’s all about people.”

“And you think this surge of profitability is sustainable?” Christian asks dubiously.

“Absolutely,” Elena assures him. “In fact, I think we’re ready to open a third location. I’ve taken it upon myself to conduct a market survey of the area and we’ve found an available space that we believe is in a prime area while also being extremely affordable. If you’ll just look at page three…”

“Bellevue?” Christian interrupts when he turns the page and Elena smiles.

“The Bravern Center. High traffic, low overhead, high income clientele. I know it well, as should you Mr. Grey. You grew up only a few minutes away from there yourself.”

Christian is quiet for a moment while both he and Ros read over the files in their hands again.

“The numbers don’t lie…” Ros says, eventually. “This is impressive.”

“Fine,” Christian says. “We’ll move on Bravern then.”

“Excellent,” Elena says happily. “I’ll have Andrea schedule a meeting, Mr. Grey.”

“You’ll have to have her schedule it with Miss Bailey,” He replies, uninterestedly as he pushes Elena’s file aside and picks up Andrea’s agenda again.

“What?” Ros asks.

“You’re taking over Esclava. Going forward, Mrs. Lincoln will report to you,” Christian tells her, and then he turns to face the table as a whole. “There are going to be some organizational changes, due in large part to a recent acquisition we have made. As of June first, GEH will take possession of Seattle Independent Publishing. It’s a small publishing firm grown right here in Seattle but it’s on the verge of bankruptcy. We’re going to make them successful again and I’m excited about the opportunities acquiring a publishing press will afford GEH. This is something different than anything we’ve ever done before, but I’m confident in the abilities of our new intern and implementation director, Miss Anastasia Steele, to bring SIP up to GEH standards.”

“What? Me?” I ask, shocked. What does he mean me? I’ve written one book and I haven’t even begun the publication process yet. I don’t know anything about the publishing industry, and I certainly don’t know anything about saving a company from bankruptcy…

“Yes, you,” Christian says. “You’ll meet with the SIP executive team Thursday and be permanently moved into their building at the beginning of next week.”

“But I-” I begin but he cuts me of.

“Is there a problem, Miss Steele?” He asks in his most authoritative CEO tone and I know this is not the time to express my doubt.

“No, Mr. Grey,” I reply meekly and he nods.

“Good. Then we’ll get you everything we have on SIP and you can start your proposal immediately. You’ll also be reporting to Miss Bailey for the duration of this implementation.”

“What?” Ros snaps. “I thought you were handling SIP?”

“No, you’re handling SIP. Miss Steele will report directly to you.”

“Christian, with all due respect, I don’t have the capacity to oversee SIP, Esclava and the state project…”

“I’m taking the state project,” Christian interrupts her.

“You do understand the magnitude of that project? There’s no way that you have time to…” Ros argues, but Christian silences her with a look. She purses her lips and stares angrily down at the papers in front of her.

“Any other concerns?” Christian asks, looking around the table but every single person diverts their eyes away from him, unwilling to question him in his increasingly agitated state. “Good, then we’ll call it a meeting.”

The room is filled with the sound of chairs rolling over the stone floor and shuffling papers as everyone around the table stands and begins collecting their things and I covertly lean over to Christian.

“Christian, this isn’t a good idea,” I hiss at him. “I don’t know the first thing…”

“I’ll help you,” He dismisses me in a low voice so that no one else can hear. “Ros will help you. You’ll be fine. Trust me.”

I furrow my brow as now that I finally know what I’ll actually be doing this summer, I really get to think about what this internship means. On the one hand, this is a huge responsibility and if I pull it off, it’s going to look really great on my resume. I’d graduate next year with invaluable real world experience… However, it also has the potential to make me a punchline in the publishing industry if I fail and after all the hard work I’ve put in at Harvard, that thought is nauseating.

I reach down and pick up the papers in front of me as Elliot comes around the table and leans into Christian.

“Can I talk to you in your office for a minute?” He asks, and I’m surprised slightly by the edge to his tone.

“Yes,” Christian agrees. “I need to talk to you too.” Christian steps aside to let Elliot pass and then exits the room behind him. Once I’ve gathered my things, I weave my way through the few people left dawdling in the conference room to catch up with Ros.

“Oh good, Ana,” She says, pausing before she steps into her office. “I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t offend you back there… I just thought Christian was going to handle your internship. If I would have known he was planning to shift this onto me, then I would have met with you sooner. I have another meeting to get to now, but reserve some time on my calendar and we’ll go over the implementation process together.”

“Ros, I’m not going to lie, I’m really not sure about this…”

“Don’t worry,” She assures me. “Don’t tell anyone, but our jobs are really not that difficult. You’ve got the GEH name behind you and that goes a long way. I’ll be with you every step of the way, and I won’t let you fail, Ana. I promise.”

“Okay,” I say gratefully and as she heads into her office, I make my way back to my laptop to find as much open time on her calendar as I can. When I get behind the counter though, I look up and see Elena step up to the desk, smiling down at Andrea who is sitting next to me.

“I’m going to need to schedule some time with Miss Bailey,” She tells Andrea, saying Ros’s name as if it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. “And would you check Mr. Grey’s schedule for me? I’d like to have a lunch with him later in the week.”

Andrea pulls up both Christian and Ros’s calendars and frowns. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Lincoln, it looks like Mr. Grey is all booked up, but I can get you some time with Miss Bailey on Friday.”

“Fine,” Elena says. “I’ll just have to see if I can catch Mr. Grey at home.” She gives both Andrea and Leila one last smile before turning tight eyes on me and then she makes her way towards the elevators.

“I’ve got to send out some post meeting emails,” Andrea tells me, “Will you take the meeting minutes back to Mr. Grey?”

“Sure,” I tell her, taking the printed copy of her notes out of her hands. “I’ll be right back.” I get out of my chair, but before I make my way back to Christian’s office, I walk towards the main glass doors. I know Christian isn’t going to give me very opportunities to be alone with Elena, and I really need to lay some things out for her.

“I know what you’re doing,” I say coldly when the door closes behind me.

“Do you?” She asks, turning away from the elevator to face me. The pseudo warmth is gone from both her expression and her tone, but she looks a little shaken up.

“This whole, it hurts me to see you wounded nonsense, is complete bullshit. I get what you’re doing now and you’re right, Elena. You know him, maybe better than anyone else knows him. I didn’t want to believe that was true last time, but it is, and you use that to control him. He’s happy right now and you know that trying to disrupt that will cause him to push you away. So you’re going to sit and wait for something to happen that makes him feel like he’s losing control or for me to slip up and leave him vulnerable again and once that happens, you’ll make your move. But it’s not going to work this time. I’m not underestimating you anymore, Elena, and I’m not going to run like I did last time. I’m not only fighting against you anymore, I’m fighting for him. He has me and his family back on his side and we’re going to make it our sole mission to get him away from you, no matter what it takes.”

I watch her inhale through her nose as my words wash over her and am a little pleased that when she speaks again, she seems slightly unnerved.

“You think you have it all figured out, Anastasia? That maybe Harvard has finally made you clever enough to out maneuver me? If you really believe that you’re going to get him away from me, then you’re in for another rude awakening. You have no idea what you did to him when you left him. He doesn’t trust anyone anymore, except for me. I’m all he has. I don’t need you to slip up, Anastasia. Eventually, his paranoia and need for control will get the better of him and he’ll drive you and his family away again and he’ll come back to me the way he always does. That’s just the way it is. That’s who he is and he proved that to you two years ago. There’s nothing you can do to change that.”

“It’s already changing Elena and I think you can see that. You talk a big game but I can hear the fear in your voice. You’re threatened by me and you should be. I’m going to beat you.”

“Anastasia, didn’t I teach you this lesson last time? You can’t beat me. Do you know why I know him better than any of you? It’s because I’ve created him. I don’t just control him, I own him. Consider this a warning. You’re not going to take him away from me and if you try, I’m going to hurt you again. This is my game, Anastasia, and behind all this bravado you’re trying to put up, you’re just a scared little girl who doesn’t have what it takes to play.”

“I’m not a little girl anymore and I’m not afraid of you. If you want to play games, Elena, consider me all in,” I snap at her, and I turn back into the office, refusing to look back at her as I storm towards Christian’s office. The door is closed but since I know it’s only Elliot inside, I don’t knock. I’m surprised though, when I open the door and see Elliot getting out of the seat across from Christian and walking around the desk. Christian reaches out his hand for Elliot, who then pulls him into a hug.

“There’s nothing to forgive. I’m just happy to have you back,” Elliot says, quietly. “We missed you, Christian. We love you.”

“Still,” Christian says, “I’m sorry, Elliot. I didn’t realize at the time…”

“I know,” Elliot cuts him off. “And we understand that. But now that you can see it clearly, we can move forward as a family.”

“I’d like that,” Christian says and then he glances over Elliot’s shoulder and sees me hovering in the doorway.

“Anastasia?”

“I’m sorry,” I say quickly, “Andrea just asked me to bring you the minutes she took in the meeting.”

“Hey, Ana!” Elliot exclaims, his tone laced with the undertone of guilt one might expect from a child being caught doing something they weren’t supposed to. “We’re just in here talking about man shit, you know, beer, sports, hot chicks…”

“Sure, Elliot,” I say, rolling my eyes. I smile as I see Christian mirror my reaction before he yawns.

“I don’t have anything else on my schedule this afternoon that won’t keep until tomorrow,” He says. “I’m going to head home for the rest of the day.”

“Good, you look like hell, man,” Elliot says. “And I’ve got to get back down to the job site. My skyscraper isn’t going to build itself.”

“Your skyscraper?” Christian asks.

“Yeah, I’m going to put my name in big bold letters right over the front doors,” Elliot replies and surprisingly, Christian chuckles.

As Christian closes his laptop and organizes the last few things on his desk, Elliot turns for the door, but he stops when he gets to me and then wraps me in a huge, lung crushing hug.

“Thank-you, Ana,” He says. “I always knew it would be you, and I was right. You gave me my brother back. I’ll never be able to repay you for that.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Elliot,” I assure him and he smiles.

“You’re never allowed to go anywhere again, do you understand me? If he doesn’t marry you, I might have to, just to keep you around.”

“I think Kate might have opinions on that,” I say with a laugh.

“I also have opinions on that,” Christian says, looking up from the paper in his hands, clearly not amused.

“Then lock this shit down, Christian,” Elliot hisses over his shoulder. He turns back to me and winks before wishing us both a good afternoon and disappearing through the door. Christian makes his way around the desk and he too wraps me in his arms.

“Come home with me?” He asks.

“You need sleep, and me going home with you would be counterproductive to that,” I say pointedly. “Besides, apparently I have a publishing company to research.”

“That you do, Miss Steele,” He says. “You’ll come over tonight?”

“Of course I will,” I assure him.

“Good. I love you, baby,” He says and I moan appreciatively as he presses his lips into mine.

“I know you’re tired, Mr. Grey, but let’s not forget where we are,” I warn him teasingly and he smiles down at me.

“I’ll see you tonight,” He says and I turn and watch him walk out the door before placing the minutes Andrea took on his desk and then heading back out to finish my work day.

When I get back to Escala that night, Christian is still asleep so I head back to my apartment, change out of my work clothes, gather everything I need to get ready for the next day, and grab a book I’ve been meaning to read before returning to the penthouse.

By the time ten o’clock rolls around, I realize that Christian isn’t going to get up, which probably isn’t a bad thing considering how much sleep he’s actually lost over the past few days. When I’m ready to call it a night, I mark my place in my book and then head into his bedroom to crawl into bed with him. He doesn’t wake as I ease myself under the covers and as I stare at his beautiful face, finally serene in sleep, I resist the urge to kiss him since I don’t want to wake him. Instead, I turn over onto my side and close my eyes, but after only a minute or so of lying there in the dark, waiting for sleep to overtake me, I feel his arms wrap around me and from somewhere in the subconscious of his dreams he mumbles:

“My Ana.”

It’s still dark when I’m stirred awake a few hours later and I’m surprised to find the bed empty next to me. I can hear the soft tinkling notes of the piano drifting in from the living room, so I climb out of bed, take one of the robes off the back of the bathroom door and wrap it around myself as I make my way out to the piano.

Christian is sitting in the dark with the piano lid closed, and he’s fully absorbed in the music he coaxes from the keys. I stand there, holding the robe that smells like him tightly around me, watching him for a minute and when I hear the tempo slow and the forte of the notes begin to wane, I move forward, stopping only once I’m standing next to him.

“That’s beautiful. What is it?”

“Chopin,” He replies.

He pulls me in front of him so that I’m standing between his legs and leaning against the piano keys which let out a cacophonous sound as my behind presses into them. He holds me by the waist, rubbing his thumbs over the soft cashmere robe that envelopes me.

“I was just thinking about your book. Anastasia… I’m so sorry, I didn’t…” He begins but I put a finger to his lips.

“Don’t,” I tell him, the sadness in his voice now reflected in mine. “This is why I didn’t want you to read the book, Christian. It’s over, we can move past it. I don’t want to relive this over and over again… I forgive you, Christian.”

He rests his head against my stomach, letting out a long low breath and I run my fingers through his hair comfortingly until he sits up and looks at me longlingly. Then, slowly, his hands move from my waist to the ties that are holding my robe in place and with nimble fingers he unravels the knot and pulls my robe open. He leans forward and kisses my stomach, his hand gently brushing up my exposed sides towards my bra, leaving a trail of goosebumps behind. When he pulls his lips away from my body, his eyes rake over me, examining me as if he’s admiring a rare work of art, and then he stands, kisses me once and then lifts me onto the lid of his piano.

“I want you,” He whispers.

“Me too,” I reply.

I stare back into his eyes as he reaches up to brush my hair back from my face and takes my lips with his. His tongue brushes lightly against my bottom lip until I grant him access and as our tongues move together in sensual synchrony, his fingers twist into the roots of my hair and he tugs gently so that my head falls back, leaving my neck exposed to him. I feel his hands pull my legs apart as he moves closer into me, and my back arches up towards him as he begins leaving a trail of sensual kisses down my neck, between my breasts… until I’m lying flat, sprawled out over the piano.

My feet press into the keys, filling the apartment with the sound of discordant, inharmonious notes, but it’s almost an erotic manifestation of the way he holds me, the way his hands feel as they move over my body. As he leaves gentle kisses along the line of my hip bones, his thumb pushes past my lips and over my tongue and I suck on him, gently. After a moment he drags his thumb, wet with my saliva down through my cleavage towards my belly button and once he gets there, he leans down and traces the line he left with his tongue. As he moves, his hands pull me up so that my back is arched off the piano and he unhooks my bra, pulling it away from me and then moves his lips to my breast.

I moan at the delicious contact and then gasp as his fingers move down, pull my panties aside and he gently strokes my lips.

“Ah!” I cry out as his teeth graze my nipple while he simultaneously dips his fingers inside of me.

“That’s it, baby,” He cajoles me. “Feel this. Feel what I can do to you.”

“Oh god!” I moan as his thumb begins circling my clitoris in time with the movements of his fingers pumping in and out of me.

“Mmm,” He moans, and then leans down to take my nipple in his mouth once more. He slides another finger inside of me, stretching me and pushing me closer and closer to the edge of release. My hands fly out over the unrelenting surface of his piano, looking for something to grab hold of but there is nothing. I’m spiraling out of control, desperately climbing higher and higher until I’m sure I’m going to explode and just as I’m about to reach the point of no return, he stops and he pulls his fingers out of me.

“Christian…” I whimper and he shakes his head.

“Not yet, baby. I want to be inside of you when you come. I want to feel it,” He tells me and he reaches up and takes his fingers, slick with my arousal into his mouth. “Mmm… So sweet,” He adds approvingly.

“Take me, Christian,” I beg and he groans.

“I wanted your mouth, Anastasia, but I’m not as patient as I once was,” He says and I bite down on my lip as I watch him guide his erection out of his pajama bottoms towards my center, where he strokes himself over my entrance. “Fuck, you’re really wet baby. Is this for me?”

“Yes,” I whisper, the need in my voice overtly apparently.

“You’re so fucking hot like this, Anastasia,” He says, and without warning he thrusts forward, burying himself fully inside of me and I cry out at the harsh but welcome intrusion. “That’s it, baby, take it.”

“Oh god, yes!” I moan and he growls.

“Say my name, Anastasia.”

“Christian.”

“Louder,” He commands, making me cry out as he increases his pace and the ferocity of his thrusts. “Scream for me, baby.”

“Oh fuck, Christian!” I yell and he lets out a deep, sexy sound from low in his throat as he leans over, slamming into the keys of the piano with each savage thrust. I feel my insides start to quicken with my impending orgasm and as my cries grow louder and my words become more jumbled, he realizes how close I really am and he slows his pace.

“No, Christian,” I complain but he smiles down at me wickedly.

“Too soon, baby,” He tells me. “I haven’t had my fill of you yet and I plan on coming with you. I want you to build slow so that you come so hard you feel it everywhere when you find your release. I want to take my time with you. I want you to be so sore tomorrow, that every time you move you’ll think about this, about me inside of you.”

I pant as my unquenched desire flames through my body so hot it feels as though my blood begins to boil and every nerve ending in my body is alight with anticipation. I can’t take the delayed gratification any longer, it’s nearly torture to be so tightly bound and on the edge of ecstasy but finding release just out of reach. He says he wants to come with me, then I’m going to make him come.

I reach down and grip the edge of the piano and use it to push myself into him, grinding on him as I move my hips around in a slow, sensual circle. I see his mouth open in a silent gasp of pleasure and he reaches down to to hold my hips in place to stop me. I’m not deterred though. Since he’s holding me still, I clench the muscles inside of me, gripping him tightly again and again, and the added bonus to watching him lose control is that I find myself getting close again.

“Fuck!” He hisses. “Ana, stop, not yet.”

“No, Christian, give it to me,” I beg him. “I can’t wait anymore. Fuck me, Christian. I want to feel you come inside of me.”

He lets out a broken gasp and I know he’s beyond the point of no return. He surrenders to the inevitable and resumes his ruthless pace and seconds later, I detonate. As my orgasm rips through me, his hands loosen their grip on my hips and I push back on him again and again, prolonging the intensity.

“Oh fuck, that’s it baby! Fuck yourself on me while you come,” He commands and as I grind my hips on him again, his body tenses, and then he calls out my name and empties himself inside of me.

Next Chapter

 

Chapter 15

Image result for lincoln car logo

My cellphone ringing on Christian’s nightstand wakes me earlier than I intended the next morning and I groan. I try to reach over and grab it, but the moment I move, Christian, who is still asleep next to me, wraps his arms tighter around me, unconsciously holding me in place. With the very tips of my fingers, I’m able to pull the iPhone off the charger and answer it.

“Hello?” I croak.

“Hey, Ana. Did I wake you?” It’s Elliot.

“It’s 5:30 in the morning, so… yeah,” I say disapprovingly.

“Sorry, there’s a problem with some equipment down at the job site this morning so I’m headed down there to take care of it. I’m not going to be able to pick you up this morning.”

“Oh… that’s okay. I’ll figure it out. Thanks for calling.”

“Sure. We should hang out sometime this week. The Mariners are in town. I can call Christian and see if we can use his box seats. Maybe if you come, he’ll come along too.”

“Maybe,” I tell him, noncommittally. It’s a little awkward having Christian pressed against me, naked, after a long night of passionate love making, and trying to pretend to Elliot that I’m still trying to keep distance between Christian and I. “I’ll talk to you later,” I tell him.

“Bye, Ana.”

“Bye,” I hang up the phone and collapse back into my pillow, pushing myself backwards into Christian’s chest and he gently nuzzles my hair.

“Who was that?” He asks.

“Your brother,” I tell him. “He can’t give me a ride to work today so I’ll probably have to call Luke and ask him.”

“I could take you. We’re going to the same place after all.”

“I don’t think showing up at work with you is the best way to keep our relationship on the down-low, Mr. Grey,” I say, sleepily, nestling my head deeper into my pillow as I try to fall back asleep.

“Then… I’ll drive one of my cars,” Christian suggests, apparently determined to keep me awake. “Taylor can drive you.”

“Taylor is your right hand man, Christian. I don’t think that’s any less suspicious.”

“Kate then. Kavanagh Media isn’t far from GEH, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind picking you up.”

“It’s fine, Christian. I don’t think Luke is going to care. I don’t want to make Kate go out of her way if I’m going to the same place as Luke anyway.”

I hear him exhale sharply behind me and then he leans in and kisses my naked shoulder. “I’m going to head down to the gym, do you want to join me?”

“I think I got plenty of exercise last night,” I tell him sardonically. “But not enough sleep. Wake me when you get back and I’ll take a shower with you.”

“I can hardly wait,” He says. He tilts my face back towards his to kiss me goodbye and then he crawls out of the bed and disappears into his closet. I’m asleep before he emerges again.

After a long, steamy shower that takes far longer than I have time for thanks to a certain CEO and his seeming insatiable desires, I pull on the dress I was wearing yesterday, stealthily stuff my panties in my purse and then hurry out of Christian’s bedroom. He’s in his office getting caught up on the emails he missed all day yesterday so I knock quietly on the door to get his attention and when he looks up, I hurry inside.

“I’m going to head downstairs and get ready for work. I just wanted to come say goodbye,” I tell him. “I’ll see you in a little bit?”

“Mhmm,” He mumbles, turning his eyes back to his computer screen as he begins typing out an email to Andrea. I lean down and tilt his chin towards me, forcing him to look at me, and then kiss him goodbye, but as I pull away he gives me a disapproving look.

“Miss Steele, I’m shocked. I am your boss and this is highly unprofessional behavior.”

I roll my eyes. “My apologies, Mr. Grey. I’ll try to contain myself.”

“See that you do,” He replies jokingly. I laugh and then saunter out of his office, purposefully swinging my hips just a little as I go. When I get back to the door, I turn back to look at him and see that he’s shaking his head and smiling with amusement as he returns his focus to his work. Oh, how I wish we had just one more day together before we had to step outside of our bubble.

I pull out my phone as I make my way to the elevator but once I dial Luke’s number and bring the phone to my ear, the doors open and I see him standing there with Christian’s other security guard, Ryan.

“Luke!” I gasp as Ryan makes his way through the foyer. Luke stares at me, shocked for a second, and then, slowly, a knowing smile begins to creep across his face. I can see it in his eyes, he knows he’s caught me.

“Well, good morning, Ana,” He says, trying to suppress a laugh. “Beautiful morning, isn’t it?”

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

“Mr. Grey asked the entire security team to meet this morning for a debrief. What are you doing here?”

“I was just… I-I left something here the other night that I needed to get,” I tell him.

“Uh huh.”

“I did!” I say defensively, feeling the blush creep into my cheeks.

“Sure,” Luke says, not even trying to hide his teasing smile now.

“Luke, stop!” I reply, laughing. “Seriously, I had to get my… phone. I left it here on Saturday and I needed it to call you because I need a ride to work today.”

“You’re sure you want me to take you? I mean, maybe there is someone here better suited for your needs than I am…”

“Luke Sawyer!” I exclaim, and he laughs.

“Fine, live in denial,” He tells me. “If you need a ride, I’ll be ready to go in forty five minutes.”

“Then I will meet you downstairs.” I reply. He looks me up and down a couple time and then laughs again and I reach out and slap his arm.

“Stop!” I exclaim, and I try to sound incensed but I’m laughing now too.

“What’s going on out here?” Christian’s voice says behind me and I turn around to see him staring earnestly at Luke and I. Luke’s disposition changes immediately.

“Nothing, sir,” He says, his voice now serious and even.

“I don’t have all morning, Sawyer,” Christian says, and Luke nods and walks forward through the foyer without a backwards glance at me. I give Christian an apologetic, please-don’t-be-mad-at-Luke kind of smile and I see the muscle in his jaw twitch as he turns around and walks into the living room.

I don’t understand his problem with me being friends with Luke. It’s his fault after all. I wouldn’t have ever met Luke if Christian wasn’t such an overprotective, borderline stalker. He’s just going to have to get used to Luke and I hanging out together, this tension is bad for everybody. I sigh as I step into the elevator and push the button for my floor, wondering how I’m going to make him see that there’s nothing to be worried about with Luke.

We’re friends, good friends, but just friends.

Forty five minutes later, I’m dressed in the same navy and white polka dot blouse I wore last week, though this time I’ve paired it with a long cream colored pencil skirt and nude pumps, and I’m making my way down to the parking garage where I find Luke waiting for me, idling in his car a few steps away from the elevator.

“Thanks for the ride,” I say gratefully as I climb into the front seat.

“Thanks for working at the same place I do,” He says, as he pulls out of the parking garage and onto Virginia St.

“Did you get in trouble with Christian… I mean, with Mr. Grey?” I ask.

“No,” He says. “But, I don’t think he likes me very much. I think he preferred it when I was on the other side of the country. Unlike you, who he seems very happy to see.”

“I can’t imagine why he would be happier having you far away,” I say pointedly as Luke’s irritating I-know-what-you-did-all-weekend smile returns. I give him an indignant look and he laughs.

“You didn’t even make it a week,” He says through his raucous laughter, and I try to keep the guilt off my face as I prepare to deny his accusation.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh, cut the crap, Ana,” Luke says. “He told us you two were back together.”

“What?” I ask, a little too harshly as I turn a piercing gaze on him. “What do you mean he told you we were back together?”

“We’re his security team, Ana. He can’t exactly lie to us,” Luke says as if this is obvious. “Our job is to protect him and everyone around him. If you two are dating, that includes you.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I say. “So, what? Is he just going to have you following me around everywhere again?”

“Not me,” Luke says, shaking his head. “I think you’re going to get Prescott again.”

“Great,” I grumble, and he gives me a sympathetic smile.

“I know you don’t like her, and I’m sorry. I feel that’s kind of my fault… but she’ll come around eventually. I didn’t really like her at first either, but I came around… kind of.”

I give him a look that expresses my lack of confidence in coming around with Prescott and he frowns before changing the subject.

“We’re still doing the movie this week, right? I’m not on call tonight, if you’re free.”

I shake my head. “I can’t, I have therapy tonight.”

“Oh, well… let me know, I guess.”

He pulls into the garage under GEH and parks in the long line of reserved spaces near the front of the garage. As we walk into the elevator, he tells me about his weekend, and this new girl that he met when he was canoeing down at the WAC over at the University of Washington. I press him for the entire way up to the 8th floor, using the subtly intrusive interviewing skills I’ve acquired after years of living with Kate, and am surprised at how shy he seems to be to talk about her.

“I think you really like her,” I say, giving him a knowing smile as he swipes his security badge and then holds open the door for me.

“I think you’re… intrusive,” He says, awkwardly, and I laugh. I’m intrusive? Leila and Andrea both turn to look at us as we walk through the door, and I’m a little relieved to see that it looks like they’ve only just gotten here too.

“Good Morning, Ana,” Andrea says brightly.

“Good Morning,” I tell her. She says hi to Luke who returns her greeting with warmth, but when he acknowledges Leila, there is a noticeably colder edge in his tone. He turns and waves to me as he disappears around the corner towards the security office and I make my way around the desk to put my things away.

“You two seem pretty friendly,” Andrea says, and I shake my head. What is with everyone today?

“We’re friends,” I tell her. “Just friends.”

“Why?” Leila asks disapprovingly and Andrea rolls her eyes.

“You’ll have to forgive, Leila,” She says. “They’ve been at odds ever since Luke was brought in here a few weeks ago.”

“How come?” I ask.

“Because he’s rude,” Leila says, shortly.

“He’s not rude, he just doesn’t do what you tell him to do and you can’t handle it when you feel like you’re not the one running this office.”

“Yeah… so rude,” She says and Andrea laughs before sitting down to log into her computer.

“How was your weekend, Leila?” I ask, trying to be more friendly to her. Her smile falters and she turns back to the screen in front of her.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” She says, and I raise an eyebrow at her and turn to Andrea who is smirking to herself.

“What happened?” I ask, concerned.

“Her life was ruined,” Andrea replies for her and Leila shakes her head.

“It’s not true, I just don’t believe it.”

“What?” I ask, and again Andrea replies for her.

“We were having lunch together yesterday and about halfway through our salads, she got a tweet from some celebrity gossip twitter page she follows that said Mr. Grey has a secret girlfriend.”

“It’s just not true,” Leila says. “I’ll bet you anything, it was his sister.”

“And the canoodling?” Andrea asks.

“Made up,” I add, agreeing with Leila, and they both turn to look at me. “You know how celebrity gossip sites work. They exaggerate everything. I was hanging out with my friend Kate this weekend, and she’s dating Mr. Grey’s brother. I think I do remember her saying something about him spending the weekend with Mia.”

“See,” Leila says smugly to Andrea and then she gives me a rare, appreciative smile. I sit down at my laptop and begin reading through the emails in my inbox, none of which seem to be important, until I hear the lock on the door click open.

“Good morning, Mr. Grey,” Leila says. I look up to see Christian and Taylor walking through the door and I’m surprised to see that he’s holding multiple cups of coffee.

“Good morning, ladies,” He says, and then he frowns at me. “Oh, Anastasia. I’m sorry, I forgot you’re here now. I went to the coffee shop on my way to work this morning and I picked up coffee for Andrea and Leila but…”

“That’s quite alright, Mr. Grey,” I say, wanting to roll my eyes at his transparent attempt to seem like he doesn’t care about me. “I’m much more of a tea drinker myself.”

“I’ll try to remember that,” He says. “Andrea, I’ll be ready to go over my schedule for the day in ten minutes. In the meantime, I need you to get in touch with Miss Menke in HR and have her forward me everything we have on the GEH non-fraternization policy.”

“Yes, sir,” Andrea says, making a note the pad of paper in front of her.

“Have you been in touch with Lincoln?” he asks and I freeze. What? Lincoln? My fingers hover over my keyboard, motionless, as I wait intently for whatever Andrea says next.

“Yes, sir,” she says. “I expect arrival just before 9:30.”

“Good. I’ll be leaving early this evening, around 5:30. I have an appointment in town.”

“Yes, sir,” Andrea says again.

“Thank you for the coffee, Mr. Grey,” Leila says, smiling broadly, and he nods.

“Don’t mention it.”

I gape after him as he picks up his own cup of coffee and disappears back towards his office without a glance back at me. Shit, she’s coming here? Now? Fuck, what am I going to do? Should I try and stop him from meeting her? Maybe I should go downstairs and try and get her away before anyone knows she’s here. But what would I even say to her?

Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

“I wonder what he wants with the non-fraternization policy?” Andrea muses allowed as she begins typing an email to HR. “Maybe his secret girlfriend works here. Did Ros say anything about it to you, Ana? You two hung out this weekend, right?”

“No,” I reply, and then I want to curse myself as I realize that this is my opportunity to alleviate any suspicion of Christian and I. “I mean, yeah… I think she said something about an office relationship, but it didn’t have anything to do with Mr. Grey.”

“Oh. I bet it’s Mr. Warren down in the telecommunications department. I swear you can taste the sexual tension between him and his secretary. It’s weird that he would want the policy though, instead of just firing one of them.”

“Maybe he’s suddenly become okay with the ideas of bosses having relationships with their secretaries,” Leila says hopefully. “He did remember my coffee order.”

Andrea rolls her eyes.

I spend the next hour and twenty minutes nervously working through a project Andrea has given me for the day and wondering if I should text Elliot and let him know that Elena is on the way here. I glance down at the phone on the desk what feels like every thirty seconds, dreading the call that I know is going to come in, but every ring is a false alarm until exactly 9:30.

“Christian Grey’s Office, Leila Williams speaking, how may I direct your call? Thank you, Jocelyn,” She says and she hangs up the phone and turns to Andrea.

“Lincoln is downstairs,” She says, and Andrea immediately reaches forward, picks up the phone and dials Christian’s extension.

“Mr. Grey, Lincoln is here,” She says, and then nods and hangs up the phone. A few seconds later, Christian comes around the corner and places a file folder on the desk.

“I’ve made edits to these documents, please see that Miss Menke gets them immediately,” He says.

“Yes, sir, Mr. Grey,” Andra replies.

“Miss Steele, will you come with me please?” He says and I swallow hard as I get out of my seat. What is he going to do? Take me downstairs where Elena’s waiting? Is he crazy?

But then again… maybe this is it. Maybe he’s going to tell her that he doesn’t want anything to do with her anymore and he wants me there for moral support. If that’s the case, I probably should be there, if anything just to make sure she doesn’t try to pull some manipulative bullshit to change his mind.

Leila raises an eyebrow at me as I get out of my chair so I shrug and give her a look to tell her I’m just as confused as she is, and surprisingly she buys it. She looks, almost sympathetically at me and I don’t understand why. Maybe she thinks I’m being fired and he’s escorting me out of the building, although it seems unlikely that that would be Christian’s job… Maybe she knows Elena and she feels bad that I’m going to have to be in her presence. That’s certainly enough for me to feel bad for anyone.

I follow Christian to the elevator, and once the doors close, he reaches over and takes my hand, stroking the backs of my fingers with his thumb.

“I think we’re doing pretty well,” He says. “No one seems to be any the wiser.”

“Mhmm,” I mumble and he raises an eyebrow at me.

“Was the coffee too much? I thought it might be a good way to put some distance between us, but I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings… I could have Taylor run out and get you something if you want.”

“No, it was fine, Christian,” I tell him.

“Then what’s wrong?” He asks, but the elevator begins to slow as we approach the 5th floor and he moves a few steps away from me, releases my hand and puts on a straight face as the doors open for two men in suits, holding briefcases.

“Mr. Grey,” One of the men greets Christian but he only nods as we continue to the first floor.

Once we’re released into the lobby, I begin looking nervously around the for the tale-tell sign of Elena’s strikingly blonde hair, but I don’t recognize any of the people around me. As we approach the front reception desk, I’m surprised that Christian begins walking towards a stern looking man in a black suit, rather than also looking around for Elena.

“Ah, here he is,” The girl sitting at the desk says with a smile. “Mr. Griffin, this is Mr. Grey.”

“Thank you for be so accommodable on short notice, Mr. Griffin,” Christian says, reaching out and shaking his hand firmly.

“It’s our pleasure, Mr. Grey. It’s waiting for you just downstairs,” Mr. Griffin says. Christian gestures for him to lead the way and I give him a suspicious look as we follow him back to the elevator and Mr. Griffin pushes the button for the parking garage. What the hell?

When the doors open, we walk past the line of cars in Christian’s and his security team’s parking places until Mr. Griffin stops at a small, glossy red, SUV. I look at it curiously for a moment and relief floods over me when I see the word Lincoln MKX across the back in shiny silver letters.

Lincoln as in the car. Not Elena.

Mr. Griffin walks Christian around the car, which is apparently next year’s model and isn’t even on the market yet, and explains the car’s specs, all the different features, and the luxury extras that have been added. Christian asks several questions about the safety specifications and after a long drawn out explanation from Mr. Griffin, Christian closes the passenger’s side door and nods.

“I’ll take it,” He says and Mr. Griffin’s face lights up.

Christian gives him his personal finance adviser’s information to finalize the paperwork and arrange payment, and after ironing out the last few details, Mr. Griffin shakes Christian’s hand one last time and then makes his way back to the elevator, leaving us alone with the car.

“What do you think?” Christian asks, turning to me.

“About the car?” I ask. “Uh… it’s new? I don’t know, don’t you have an SUV already?”

“It’s not for me,” He says. “It’s for you.”

“What?” I ask, feeling my stomach drop.

“For you to get to work. You won’t need Elliot or Sawyer anymore, you have a car.”

“Christian, you can’t just give me a car.”

“Of course I can. Just think of it as renegotiating the terms of your internship,” He says. “It’s a company car. I own it and if you want to give it back at the end of the summer, you can. But as your boss, I need to ensure you are able to get to work on time. Next week you won’t be in this building anymore. I can’t spare my security staff to drive you around during the day.”

“What do you mean I won’t be here? Where will I be?”

“Tomorrow,” He says, evasively. “It will be announced tomorrow.”

“Does anyone else have a company car?”

“Sure,” Christian shrugs. “I’ve given cars to most of my security staff, Gail, even Andrea has one.”

“What about Leila?”

“Leila?” He says, his brow furrowed. “Why would Leila need a car? She doesn’t run errands.”

I turn and look at the car frowning, and Christian sighs.

“It’s just a car, Anastasia. I thought you’d be happy, it’s brand new and you haven’t had a car since I’ve known you. Honestly, I was expecting a little more excitement than this.”

“I can give it back at the end of the summer?” I clarify.

“If you want to.”

“It is kind of beautiful…” I admit reluctantly.

“It is,” He agrees. “And it’s yours. Enjoy it.”

Looking quickly around the parking lot to make sure that no one is around, I lean in and give him a quick kiss and he looks at me sternly.

“I thought you were going to control yourself, Miss Steele?”

“Sorry,” I tell him insincerely, and he smiles before pulling me behind the car and kissing me for real.

The rest of the day passes by fairly uneventfully. Andrea is mostly busy preparing for an important meeting taking place the next day, which has her in and out of the office, so Leila is pretty much on her own fielding calls and dealing with people coming through the doors looking for Christian and Ros. After spending an entire afternoon observing her, I actually find that I’m fairly impressed by Leila. She handles everything extremely well and efficiently. She’s hospitable and courteous to all of Christian’s business associates and the high level staff of GEH. She’s even warmed up to me a bit. Maybe she was just having a bad week last week, or maybe, after half-lying to her about my weekend plans, she’s just ruled me out as a rival for Christian’s affections and so she doesn’t feel the need to be cold to me anymore. Or maybe Andrea talked to her about how she was coming off. They had lunch together this weekend so I assume they’re friends and she was probably worried Leila might get in trouble. Especially since they know I at least have a close relationship with Ros.

At five thirty, I begin packing my things and as I wish Leila a good night, Christian comes around the corner with Taylor and Prescott in tow. I frown as I realize that apparently, Luke was right. I am going to get a security detail, and it isn’t going to be him.

“Miss Steele,” Christian greets me with a stiff nod as he comes to stand next to me at the elevator. “Leaving early tonight?”

“Oh… uh, yeah. I have a commitment that I couldn’t get out of,” I tell him, and he nods again.

“I see. Well I do hope your plans are more engaging than mine. I’m meeting a business associate tonight, trying to hash out some details of a merger we’re currently in the middle of.”

“Well, I hope that goes well for you, Mr. Grey.”

“So do I,” He says, and as the elevator pings to announce it’s arrival, I turn to face the doors, trying to hide my smile from Leila.

“Ana, you remember Prescott?” Christian says when the elevator doors close and we begin our descent to the parking garage.

“Yes, hi again,” I say, unable to hide my uncomfortable displeasure as I turn to acknowledge her. Why can’t it be Luke?

“I’d like you to take security with you wherever you go,” Christian says. “For my own peace of mind.”

“Is that negotiable?” I ask and he frowns.

“We’ll talk about it tonight,” He says. I sigh, but nod in agreement.

When the doors open, Prescott follows me to my brand new car and I smile broadly as I climb through the driver’s side door. The inside of the Lincoln smells brand new, and the black leather seats are still cool and tight. It’s strange to think that this car is mine, I haven’t ever had my own car before, let alone one this nice. My parents haven’t even had a car this nice.

“Just follow Taylor, ma’am,” Prescott says, gesturing to the black SUV pulling out a few spaces down. I roll my eyes and put the car in reverse, looking carefully over my shoulder as I back out and then turn forward towards the exit. I don’t need her direction and, quite frankly, I don’t want it either. If this is what it’s going to be like having her tag along all time, I know this summer is going to feel interminable.

The Lincoln handles great, better even than Kate’s Mercedes and I suppose that probably has something to do with the fact that her car is almost six years old and this one hasn’t even technically been released yet. The downside though, is parking. Usually, that’s not something I have to worry about, but now that I do, I remember that parking in downtown Seattle is terrible. There is no lot or garage connected to the building where Dr. Flynn’s office is located so I have to follow Taylor down the street and around the corner to a public garage a few blocks away.

Once we’re parked, Taylor escorts Christian and I through the garage and down a side street to loop back around to Dr. Flynn’s building. After last weekend, walking with Christian in public has me worried, but Christian must have already thought of the possibility of photographers as we take a route to the back door of Flynn’s building without ever coming into view of the street. Or, maybe this is just how he always gets here… I suppose that as much as I don’t want anyone suspecting we’re dating, he doesn’t want anyone to find out he’s in therapy.

Clara, Flynn’s receptionist, is much more attentive this time around than she was the last time I was here and I don’t know if that’s because this is a confirmed appointment rather than an emergency drop in session, or because I’m with Christian. Based on her seeming inability to form coherent sentences and the fact that she physically gets out of her seat to open the door for us though, I assume it’s because of the latter. This is the downside of dating someone who looks the way Christian does, the longing stares of women everywhere we go.

“Hello, Christian. Ana,” Dr. Flynn says, smiling as he comes into the lobby to get us. We make our way into his office and to the couch across from his tall backed chair. As we sit down next to one another, Flynn looks between us expectantly.

“How was your weekend?” He asks.

“Fine,” Christian answers

“Were you able to spend some time with one another?”

“Yes,” Christian answers again.

“What did you do?” Flynn asks, turning to me.

“We went shopping and we watched a movie and we spent some time with his family,” I reply.

“That sounds wonderful,” Dr. Flynn says. “Did you have a good time?”

“Yes,” I tell him.

“Good. Ana, in your last session we had talked about maintaining boundaries between the two of you while you both worked through your issues together. Did you share what those boundaries were with Christian?”

“Yes.”

“And, Christian, how did that go over, maintaining physical distance between the two of you?”

“It was fine,” Christian says. “We had sex.”

I’m taken off guard by his casual admission and turn to look at him, stunned. First his security team, now Flynn… what part of keeping this a secret doesn’t he understand?

“You did?” Flynn asks, surprised.

“Many times. Oh, and we’re back together,” Christian says and this time, my mouth actually pops open with shock.

“Really? Well, I’m happy to hear that,” Dr. Flynn says, before turning to look at me. “What changed for you, Anastasia?”

“Uh, I-I…” I stutter at a complete loss for words. “I thought we weren’t going to talk about this, Christian.”

“You want me to lie to our therapist? I thought you asked me to take this seriously?” He says and I frown. He kind of has me there. I suppose Flynn is safe. He can’t tell anyone what we say to him in therapy, so it’s not like it’s going to get out if we talk to him about our relationship. We are going to need help getting through some of this tougher stuff together and Flynn seems to be okay with the fact that I broke the rules…

“I don’t know what changed,” I say, looking at Flynn. “I just didn’t want to be apart anymore. Spending time with him this weekend brought a lot of comfort and old feelings back for me. It reminded me why I loved him so much in the first place, what made us so good together and I didn’t want to wait to try to get back what we used to have. I thought we’d be better and come out of this stronger if we worked through this together, rather than apart.”

“Why do you say used to have?” Christian asks. “Nothing has changed, Ana. Not in the way I feel about you. Are you telling me that it’s changed for you?”

“Well… kind of. I don’t trust you the way that I used to, Christian. I don’t think I can get completely back to the way it was until I feel like I can trust you again.”

“I don’t understand,” He says, and I can hear anger building in his voice. “I’ve done everything you’ve asked me to do. I’ve reached out to my family and done everything they’ve asked of me to make it right with them. I’ve even confessed what I did to my father. What more can I do?”

I turn away from him and shake my head. “You still talk to Elena.”

“I’ve told you before, Anastasia, that’s just business. She’s moved on, all of that bullshit is over between us.”

“No, it isn’t,” I tell him. “What about last Friday?’

“What about Friday?” He asks, and the anger in his voice is obvious now.

“You told me that you called her when you felt like you were getting out of control. That’s not business, Christian. That’s very, very personal and the fact that you left that out when you promised me that there was nothing going on between you two makes me feel like you’re hiding something from me.”

“You’ve lost me,” Dr. Flynn says, “What happened last Friday night?”

“It was nothing,” Christian says dismissively, and I let out a harsh laugh.

“So it’s fine to talk about all the sex we’ve been having because you don’t want to lie to your therapist, but you’ll just skate over Elena?”

“I’m not skating over anything,” Christian says, through barred teeth. “There’s nothing to talk about in regards to Elena. She’s nothing to me, Anastasia.”

“If you think that’s true, then she’s manipulated you even more than I thought.”

“She’s not manipulating me, Anastasia. You don’t know what it’s been like here, you’ve been gone.” He says, raising his voice now. “I don’t care about her, I don’t think about her, I don’t need her. I am the CEO and sole proprietor of the fasting growing company in the United States. People like Warren Buffett and the Koch brothers call me for advice. I am in control of everything around me, even the very economy of this city. I’m the most powerful man in Seattle. Elena Lincoln is nobody and she has absolutely no influence over me.”

I look back into his fiery gaze and I know he’s mad, but I’m not going to concede on the Elena issue.

“What about the salons, Christian?” I ask. “She needed help and you bent over backwards to make sure she was okay.”

“You’re just emphasizing my point,” Christian says. “She came to me. I don’t rely on her, if anything she relies on me. I have the power in any interaction I have with Elena and I choose to keep our relationship strictly professional.”

“Except when you get upset,” I throw back at him. “And then she’s right back in the driver’s seat.”

“I’m confused,” Dr. Flynn says. “What happened last Friday night?”

Christian glares at me and then takes a deep breath before recounting what happened with Mia last weekend and our conversation afterwards.

“That sounds like amazing progress to me,” Dr. Flynn says when Christian finishes.

“But he admitted that he wanted to call Elena,” I argue. “He admitted that he uses her for emotional support.”

“But he didn’t on Friday,” Dr. Flynn says. “He tried to find another outlet and when you both allowed yourselves to be open with each other and communicate honestly, Christian avoided contact with Elena Lincoln all together and Ana, you didn’t run away. I’d say I’m very proud of both of you.”

“But what if I hadn’t been there?” I ask and then turn to Christian. “What if Mia hadn’t called me that night and you were alone? Would you have called her then? If I had come over that night after Luke left, would she have been in your apartment? Would you have been at hers? I can’t be around all the time, and I can’t worry that if something happens and you get upset and I’m not there to talk you down, that you’re going to go running off to her. That’s how she gets to you, Christian. She prays on you when you’re vulnerable. It’s what happened two years ago and if you don’t cut her completely out of your life, it’ll happen again and I can’t go through something like the trial again. I won’t.”

“She doesn’t do anything to me, Anastasia. I’ve told you, it’s different between us now. She’s moved on, I’ve moved on. Nothing like the trial will ever happen again. I’ve told you that I’m sorry, why can’t you just accept that I’m sorry?” Christian says, fuming.

“Because you can’t tell me what you’re sorry for!” I argue, and now, I’m angry too. “How can you promise me that it won’t happen again or even say you’re sorry if you don’t even know what it is you’re apologizing for?” I ask, and Christian loses it.

“I can’t read your mind, Anastasia,” He shouts back at me. “You don’t talk to me, you shut me out. How about instead of hanging this elusive concept of forgiveness over my head, you just tell me what you want me to be fucking sorry for and I will apologize to you.”

“See, I knew it! You’re not apologizing because you’re actually sorry, you’re apologizing because you just want to appease me.”

“Of course I want to appease you, you’ve been punishing me for two fucking years and I don’t know what it is that you want from me. I’m constantly walking on eggshells around you, just waiting for you to bolt again. I want you to trust me, Ana, you can trust me. I won’t hurt you again. I’ve learned my lesson and I don’t know what to say try and earn your trust back except that I’m sorry.”

“But you don’t know what you’re-” I begin, almost yelling now, but Dr. Flynn cuts me off.

“Okay, let’s take a breath,” He says. “It think we should go about this a different way. Ana, your trust issues with Christian, did they exist before the trial?”

“No, I trusted him completely. That’s why it was so devastating to me. I never dreamed he was capable of doing something like that.” I tell him and as the anger and hurt begin to overwhelm me, I feel the sting of tears in my eyes.

“Okay, Christian, Ana uses words like devastating when she talks about what happened with the trial. What do you think it is about what happened that she would feel devastated by?”

“She hates Elena and I protected her,” He says bluntly. “She’s pissed because she thinks that I chose Elena over her, but I didn’t. It wasn’t like that. In this deal that I made with her, I wasn’t trying to protect her. I was clear that she was to never contact either of us or anyone in my family again. I was trying to build a life for us. I wasn’t choosing her over you, Ana, and if that’s what you’re angry about, then I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention and I’m sorry.”

I feel the first real tears begin to roll down my cheeks as he apologizes to me, and because I’m afraid the silent tears will turn into sobs if I try and speak, I don’t say anything in response. We sit there in tense silence until Dr. Flynn gently presses me to speak.

“Ana, how do you feel about what Christian has just said to you? Do you feel that he protected her and that his decision that day was him effectively choosing her over you?”

I shrug and pull the tissue away from my face so I can speak. “Partially. I don’t know… It’s hard to…” I begin but my voice chokes off with the sobs I was afraid of before.

“Well, I think it’s important that you’re clear what is hurting you so that Christian can understand,” Dr. Flynn says. “What if we try to keep emotions out of this as much as possible and you just tell me your perspective of what happened in the trial.”

I take a deep breath. “He sold me a lie. He sold everyone a lie. He went behind my back, behind his father’s back, and around a restraining order AND a no contact order, to set up this whole plan with… that woman. He sat in an examination room with his father and went through all the motions knowing that he would…” My voice cuts off for a second, but I force myself to press on. “I still, to this day, don’t even know how it happened. I don’t know if he reached out to her or if she reached out to him. You didn’t just break the law, Christian, you let me and your entire family walk into that courtroom thinking that justice was going to be served, and we were completely blindsided.”

“My family wasn’t looking for justice, my family was looking for revenge,” Christian says darkly.

“How can you say that?” I yell at him and Dr. Flynn holds up his hands to stop me.

“Christian, does what Ana just said give you a new perspective of what she needs from you when she asks for an apology?”

“I lied,” Christian says, shortly. “Okay, I lied. I know that was wrong and I did it anyway. If that’s what it is, then I’m sorry, but Ana, I just couldn’t do it. The relationship that Elena and I had wasn’t something she did to me, it was something she did with me. I knew what is was that we had, she was very clear from the start. I had every opportunity to end it but I didn’t because I didn’t want to. She didn’t force me into this. It would have been just as much of a lie for me to get up on that stand and say that she molested me as it was for me to say nothing ever happened. I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if I had a hand in sending her to prison for something that I had equal part in.”

“Look, I know that you felt guilty and pressured, but you didn’t tell me any of that before hand,” I tell him. “You just did it and then expected me to accept it. I had no say in this future that you said you wanted to create for us. Did you honestly believe when you took me to the top of the Empire State Building that I would be happy for you? That I would see this money as some kind of justice?”

“So it’s the money then? You want me to be sorry for the money?” Christian asks, his anger peaking again.

“It’s not the money, Christian. I understand the money. She offered it to you because she knew that more than anything else, you wanted to start your company. That’s all you talked about and I know you talked about it with her. She knew how hard it was for you facing the rejection and the failure that you did when you couldn’t make a deal to get the money to start your company and so she played the victim card and then dangled a carrot in front of you that she knew you couldn’t refuse. I get that, I don’t blame you for that. It’s not the money.”

“Then what is it?” He yells at me.

“You lied to me, Christian. You didn’t trust me, and then you left me…”

“You left me, Anastasia. I would never leave you,” He interrupts me and I look back at him incredulously.

We spend the next hour going through the events of the trial over and over again, but we always end up at the same place. He can’t apologize because he sees what happened to analytically instead of seeing what his actions did to me, to his whole family, on an emotional level. He can’t see how his betrayal changed my perspective on the world, how it ruined me, and until he does I don’t think he’ll ever really know what I need from him. The problem is, no matter how Dr. Flynn tries to redirect us, I can’t seem to be able to articulate to him what the trial really did to me. I just don’t have the words for what it really felt like.

“I can’t talk about this anymore,” I say through my tears as we approach the end of our session. My cheeks are raw and sting from wiping away my tears and I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted.

“Okay, then let’s take a break,” Dr. Flynn concedes. “We can start here in our next session.”

“Fine,” Christian says. He stands up from the couch as I gather all of my discarded tissues to throw away in the small trash can by the door and then leads me out of the room, leaving anger in his wake as he moves. He’s practically trembling as we schedule our next appointment with the receptionist and he remains silent on the way back to our cars where both Taylor and Prescott are waiting for us.

“I’ll see you back at home?” Christian asks, and the anger in his voice breaks for the first time with the uncertainty in his question. I nod and he looks like he’s going to reach out for me, maybe wrap me in his arms, but he stops himself and then climbs into the back seat of the SUV.

Prescott has to drive as, once I’m back in the Lincoln, I have a hard time holding back my tears again. I wonder what it’s going to take for Christian to understand. It’s not that I’m afraid to tell him how I feel, I just don’t know if I’m able to do it correctly. I don’t want to hurt him, I don’t want to rub the pain he caused in his face, I just want him to understand what I went through after the trial so he knows why I need him to show remorse. The problem is that I’ve compartmentalized everything, buried everything, rid myself of as much of the hurt as I was able to and now, I’m actually struggling to bring it all back up again. I know that if we’re going to move forward from here and be happy again that he has to know what this was like for me. I just need to figure out how to tell him.

And then it hits me.

I know exactly how to tell him.

When make it back to Escala, we step into the elevator and Christian reaches out to press the button for the penthouse but I stop him.

“My floor,” I tell him and his jaw tenses.

“Is this what therapy is going to do to us?” He asks, turning furiously away from the elevator panel to face me. “We were fine before we went to see Flynn, it was almost normal again. I’m not going to do this if it’s going to drive you away from me.”

“That’s not what’s happening, Christian. I want you to come with me. I just need to give you something.”

He looks at me suspiciously for a moment and then turns back to the panel to press the button for the fourteenth floor. I take hold of his hand, trying to reassure him and calm him down as we walk through the hall to my apartment and once we’re inside I ask him to sit on the couch while I make my way to my bedroom. I pull open the bottom drawer of my nightstand and take out the one full copy of my manuscript that I’ve brought to Seattle with me. My fingers brush nervously over the title page before I take a bracing breath and return to Christian.

“Here,” I say quietly as I hold out the manuscript for him and his brow furrows as he reaches out to take it from me.

“What’s this?”

“It’s my book,” I tell him. “Maybe this will help you understand what I need from you.”

“You want me to read it?”

“No, I don’t,” I say honestly. “But now, I think maybe it’s important that you do.”

“Okay,” He says. “Then I’ll start tonight.”

“Okay. I just… I can’t watch you read it so…”

“So, I’ll see you in the morning then,” He says, and he tucks the manuscript under his arm as he gets to his feet. I stare at him nervously. I don’t know how he’s going to react to what’s in that manuscript and part of me is dreading finding out.

He leans over and kisses me tenderly on the lips and I give him and shaky smile as he turns to leave. Once he’s gone, I can’t stop picturing him upstairs reading through the novel, reacting to what I’ve written, and it drives me crazy. I do everything I can to find something to distract me, reading, watching TV, obsessively cleaning my bathroom, but nothing works. I even try going down to the gym, but it isn’t enough to relieve my apprehension.

By midnight, I find myself pacing frantically back and forth across my bedroom floor. The more I’ve thought about this, the more I’ve gone through each chapter in my head over and over again, the less I’m convinced having Christian read my book was a good idea. I may have been a little harsh in what I wrote and while it’s fine for fiction, if he’s reading this as my analysis of what happened in the trial, it might be a little too much. But then again… no, I don’t know if it is. It was bad and as much as I don’t want to hurt him, he needs to know what it was really like.

Eventually, after I realized I’ve stayed up way too late for a Monday night, I crawl into bed and try to convince myself that this is necessary. It’s how I feel, it’s what I went through. I can’t change that to protect him, and if it’s going to help us move forward, no matter how painful it is, it has to be this way.

I’m not exactly sure when I drift off, or how long I actually do get to sleep, but when a sudden, loud knock bangs its way into my consciousness, I bolt upright and look around the room, needing a second to orient myself. The alarm by the bed tells me it’s nearly five o’clock in the morning, and part of me wonders if I dreamed the sound that woke me until I hear the knocking again. I look curiously at my bedroom door, climb out of bed and make my way out to the living room.

When I open the door, I find Christian standing in the hallway, dressed in the same clothes he was wearing when he left last night just after 7:30 last night. He stares at me blankly, looking ashen faced.

“I was hoping by the time I got down here, I would know what to say to you,” He says tonelessly.

I feel a harrowing sense of dread as I look at him, feeling as though my worst fears in giving him this book have been confirmed. Since I’ve been in Seattle, I’ve reluctantly grown accustomed to the look of doubt and even fear in his eyes, but this… this is much worse. He looks almost hollow, and the pain of seeing him like this hits me like an arrow through my heart.

“Come in,” I tell him, stepping aside to let him in. I hold my arms open, wanting to hold him just to offer him some kind of comfort, but the second I touch him, he shrugs me off. As he walks into the living room, I notice that he doesn’t move with his usual kind of predatory grace but instead he seems to shamble forward. He places my manuscript on the table in front of the TV and then turns around to face me.

“I finished it,” He says and I swallow as I mentally prepare myself for what he’s going to say. “I didn’t realize this is how you saw it. I didn’t see what this trial meant to you and believe me, if I had, if I’d know it was like this, I never would have done it. I just thought it was because you hated her or you were mad because I took the money… I didn’t see what I was doing. I promised you the world and I destroyed it right in front of you. Then I took you to New York, paraded you around your favorite city as if it would make everything okay and the whole time I was lying to you. It was like I was taunting you with what I did. God, no wonder you cut me out, no wonder you refused to see or speak to me. How can you even look at me?”

I feel my lip begin to quiver as I fight back tears. The pain in his voice cuts through me like a knife and I want to offer him some kind of solace, some reassurance, but I don’t know what to say to him. He might be on the verge of a breakthrough but this is too intense for me to handle alone. He’s spiraling in front of me and I don’t have the knowledge or the experience to deal with this the right way. I need Flynn… Flynn should be here.

“Come here,” I tell him, moving towards him but again, he rejects my touch.

“I knew that I broke your heart, and I was sorry for that,” He continues. “But I didn’t realize that I completely shattered you. I took away the innocence that I loved so much about you and left you wounded, and jaded and unable to trust anyone around you. You were right, when I made this decision without even talking to you, I left you. Worse, I abandoned you after promising you forever and I left you desolate. I don’t deserve you, Anastasia.”

I stare back at him, unbelieving. No. No this isn’t what I want, and now, seeing him this way, I feel like I’ve made a mistake. He wasn’t ready for this and by forcing this on him, I’ve just broken him more. The self-loathing I hear in his voice makes me sick. He’s the world to me. I just want him to see what Elena is and get away from her influence, I don’t want to break him down.

“Yes you do, Christian. You’re a good person. I know in my soul that you are and that you would have never done anything like this if it wasn’t because that woman had been abusing you and manipulating you for so many years that you couldn’t tell the difference between right and wrong anymore.”

“So what if you’re right? What makes what she did to me any different than what I did to you?”

“Christian…”

“I know who she is, Anastasia,” He interrupts me. “I think you all think I look at her through rose colored glasses but I don’t. She’s cold, calculating, driven, and selfish, but so am I. There was a time, before I knew you, when I thought that maybe I loved her. It wasn’t the kind of love you found in Jane Austen novels but I didn’t think that kind of love really existed. And then I met you, and I fell in love with you and, by some miracle, you fell in love with me too. You showed me that real love does exist in this world and I realized that what Elena and I had wasn’t love, not even close. But anything she’s ever done to me, she never did under the pretense of love. She was clear what we were. What I did to you, I told you I did because I loved you. I put this on you, on my love for you so I wouldn’t have to face what I did. I took the love that you gave to me and I used it to try and manipulate you into ignoring what I had done. That’s immeasurably worse than anything Elena has ever done to me. If you think she’s evil, then what does that make me? I don’t know, maybe Elena and I… maybe we deserve each other.”

His words hit me like a slap in the face and I stand there, dazed, until eventually, I feel tears spring to my eyes.

“No,” I tell him. “You do not deserve Elena Lincoln, no matter what has happened. Everything you did, you did because she manipulated you into thinking it was okay. She manipulated you into thinking that what you had was consensual, that she was helping you… and then she dangled the money in front of you because she knew that was what you wanted more than anything else. You didn’t make this decision, she did, and then she helped you justify it to yourself. You made a mistake, Christian but you’re not a terrible person and you do not deserve what happened to you, and you do not deserve having a person like her in your life.”

He shifts uncomfortably, looking away from me as his face crinkles with pain. I move forward, pushing myself into him, wrapping my arms tightly around him so that he can’t push me away, but he doesn’t try. Instead he pulls my chin up so he can look me in the eyes.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when she first contacted me,” He says, quietly. “I’m sorry that I hid my reservations from you. I’m sorry that I went through with it at all. I’m sorry that I hurt you, I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you, I’m sorry that I leaned on you but never really let you support me. I’m sorry I put this on you and I’m sorry that it’s taken me two years to admit that what I did was wrong. It was wrong. I shouldn’t have done it. I hurt you, Anastasia, but I will never hurt you again. If you’ll let me, I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you.”

“That’s not what I want, Christian. I don’t want to spend the rest of our lives rehashing this over and over again. I want closure. I want to put it behind us and move on and I want to do that with you by my side. I just needed to know that you were sorry so that I could trust you when you said you’d never hurt me again.”

“I am, Anastasia. I can’t tell you how sorry I really am.”

“Then I forgive you,” I tell him and he takes a deep breath and leans down to kiss me. I can feel his weight on me, like he’s having a hard time staying upright and I realize that he’s stayed up all night reading this book. That’s the second night in three days he hasn’t slept at all. I know that it’s nearly morning, but he should at least try and get some sleep before he has to go to work. Or maybe, he shouldn’t go to work…

“You should get some sleep,” I tell him, when he pulls his lips away from mine. “You look exhausted.”

“I think sleeping will just make it worse at this point,” He says. “But… I’d like to lay down with you.”

“Okay,” I tell him and I take him by the hand and lead him to my bedroom. We crawl into bed together and he wraps his arms around me as we lay there in silence, watching morning arrive through my bedroom window. I can feel his steady, even breaths, his heart beating in his chest, and it feels incredibly soothing after everything we’ve been through since last night.

I feel lighter now, as if his admission, his apology, and my forgiveness have somehow lifted an incredible weight off my shoulders. I’m at peace, for the first time in a long time and even though I know that Elena is out there somewhere, and I know that she’s going to do something to try and get between us again, I don’t care.

I think he knows what she is now. He knows what he did was wrong and I believe him when he says he’s sorry. Elena can do whatever she wants, but I can finally say that I trust him enough to know that no matter what she does, he’s not going to let her come between us again.

Next Chapter

Chapter 14

Image result for shower kiss

I’m stirred awake the next morning by the first rays of sunlight shining in through the bedroom window. A smile creeps across my lips as the lingering soreness between my legs validates that what happened last night was real.

Christian and I had sex.

Multiple times.

And it was… Perfect.

I moan appreciatively as I recall the feel of his lips on mine, his hands and his tongue on my body… the feel of him inside of me. Just thinking about it makes me ache for him and I realize now that I’ve opened Pandora’s Box.

Why was I trying to prevent this from happening again? Because I was worried that he’ll lose motivation to continue therapy if we were together? That seems ridiculous now. What could be better motivation than this? Something real and tangible to fight for.

Dr. Flynn said that isolation was Elena’s best weapon against Christian. She’s made herself the only person he feels like he can talk to. He thinks she’s the only one who understands him. He thinks that she’s the only one who will be there for him. It stands to reason then that he thinks she’s the only person that really cares about him.

If he’s really going to get away from her, he needs someone to take her place. I can do that, I want to do that. I have to continue to makes sure that he’s doing the work in therapy and with his family, but I see now that it will be so much easier for him to break this bond if he knows that when he comes out the other side, when Elena is gone, he won’t be alone.

I want to get back together with him.

It’s as simple as that. Now that we’ve crossed this line, there’s no going back and I don’t want to. I know I promised Ros that nothing would happen between us until the end of the summer, but I don’t want to wait until my internship is over and I know Christian doesn’t either. We can be professional at work. In fact, it’s almost exciting to think about having to keep this a secret. I’m done putting off my happiness and his happiness for other people, not even for Ros and most certainly not for Elena.

I came here to fight for Christian. Well… watch this.

I open my eyes and turn over to wake him up and confess what I’ve decided, but he isn’t lying next to me. He’s in a chair a few feet away from the bed, dressed again, looking as though he hasn’t gotten any sleep. There are prominent dark circles under his eyes, marring his beautiful face, and he’s looking at me with trepidation.

“Hey,” I say, concerned, “What are you doing over there?”

“Are you going to leave?” He asks, his voice rough from lack of sleep.

“What?”

“Are you going to leave?” He says again. “I just- I just need to be prepared if you’re going to leave.”

As I stare back into the echo of panic I see in his eyes, I remember that when we finished last night, he was nervous. He asked me not to leave him and it looks like that fear wasn’t assuaged by my mumbled reassurances as I drifted off to sleep. He’s probably been sitting here, tormented by the fear that I’d probably wake up, regret what I’d done and then leave him again.

“Ana, I’m sorry,” He whispers. “You said you needed boundaries… You were drunk, I shouldn’t have… Jesus, what the fuck was I thinking?”

“No, Christian, stop. I’m fine,” I tell him. “I told you last night, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Really?” He asks, but I hear more doubt than hope in his tone.

“Yes, really,” I affirm again. He stares at me for long beat, almost like he’s waiting for some kind of qualifier, but I hold his gaze purposefully, trying to express my new found commitment physically as much as I feel it emotionally. “Christian, I promise. I’m here to stay.”

“Oh, thank god,” He says, sighing in relief and pushing his hands back through his already chaotic hair.

I hug the sheet tighter around me, since I’m realizing that I’m still naked from last night, and I reach my arms out for him.

“Come here,” I say, and he gets out of his chair and crawls under the covers with me. I cuddle up next to him, laying my head on his chest as he wraps his arms tightly around me.

“I’m not going to run anymore, Christian,” I tell him. “When I left you two years ago, I wasn’t ready to deal with what had happened, not with the trial and not with you and Elena. I didn’t know what I was up against, but I do now and I’m here to fight for you. I want to be with you, Christian.”

“You do?” He asks and when he turns to look at me, there is actual shock on his face.

“Yes, I do. I miss you and I have missed you for a very long time. I miss what we had. I’m ready to try and get it back and I want to start to now.”

It takes just a moment for my confession to hit him, but once it does, he grins broadly and then leans down and takes my lips with his and it feels as though he’s kissing me with the same hunger one would expect from a starving man. I kiss him back willingly, succumbing to his passion until I have to come up for air and he pulls away. I stare back into his eyes, suddenly bright again and shining down on me victoriously.

“You have no idea what this means to me, Anastasia. How happy this makes me,” He says. “I can’t tell you how much I’ve needed you every second since you’ve been away from me. I am never going to let you go again.”

“I wouldn’t let you,” I reply. “Just promise me that being together isn’t going to stop you from going to therapy. We still have a lot to work through, I just think it will be better if we do it together instead of apart.”

“Of course. Anything you want.”

“And… don’t get mad but, I don’t think we should tell anyone that we’re back together just yet.”

“Why?” He asks, and it’s jarring when, instead of anger, there is hurt and again, doubt, in his tone.

“Because everyone that we would tell, including our therapist, seems to think it’s a bad idea for us to be together right now.”

“Elliot doesn’t think it’s a bad idea,” He argues.

“That’s because Elliot thinks that my vagina has magical Christian healing powers,” I quip and, for a brief second, the hurt in his eyes is replaced with amusement.

“Elliot is right about that,” He says, but when I give him a pointed look that tells him I’m trying to be serious right now, he rolls his eyes. “Who gives a fuck what anyone else thinks?”

“I do, because the people who would give a fuck are the people I have to work with every day. Ros told me last night that your company has a no fraternization policy and if people found out about us, I could lose my job and you could get in trouble for sexual harassment.”

“Well that’s the stupidest thing Ros has ever said.”

“Is it?”

He sighs. “Do you plan on suing me for sexual harassment?”

“No.”

“Then I can’t get in trouble. Ana, I own the company, it’s not like I could be fired and I wouldn’t let anyone fire you. Not even Ros.”

“Okay so our jobs are safe, I still have to work with everyone in your office, Christian. I don’t want people knowing that I’m the fucking the CEO. They’ll question everything I do, they’ll think you’re giving me favors or that I’m only there because I’m willing to get naked for you. They’ll treat me differently, I’ll be ostracized and gossiped about, and not just by people at GEH. Remember the photographer in the market yesterday? I don’t want the media attention that will come from being your girlfriend while I’m your intern. They’ll turn me into the next Monica Lewinski and I don’t want those things printed about me.”

He frowns but he doesn’t have any way to argue that. As much as I know he wants to, we both know that he can’t protect me from everything.

“I’ll do what I can to minimize any fallout,” He says with a heavy sigh. “But, if this is what you really want, we don’t have to tell anyone about us until your internship is over.”

“Thank-you.”

“But, just so I’m clear, we’re together now, right? You’re mine again?”

“Yes, I am,” I tell him.

He smiles and then kisses me again, leaning over me and wrapping his fingers around the bed sheet to pull it off of me, but I stop him and give him an indignant look.

“Can I take a shower before you prevail upon me yet again?” I ask, and he smiles wickedly at me.

“Oh, Ana, I don’t think you’re dirty enough yet,” He tells me. “But I can fix that.”

He dives at me again and I shriek, then giggle as he yanks the sheet away and pins me into his mattress.

“Christian!” I protest, and he groans and props himself over me, exhaling sharply.

“Fine, but let me join you.”

I look at him for a moment, and I am astounded by the change that I can already see in him. His eyes, which have been so flat and dark since I’ve been in Seattle, are already brighter, though I don’t know if that’s an actual change or simply because of his growing need for me. He really is unfairly beautiful and… he wants me. How could I turn that away?

“It is your shower,” I tell him, mischievously, and he smiles and reaches for my hand to pull me out of the bed.

Like the rest of his apartment, the bathroom is huge and overly grandiose. The walls and the floor are made of the same, ubiquitous, polished sandstone, except the long accent wall to the left which is covered by a dark brown stone textured to look almost like wood. There are two deep, square basin sinks resting on floating counters to the right, a wide walk-in glass shower that takes up the entire back wall, and a deep, egg shaped tub across from the sinks that looks more than big enough for two.

Christian opens the glass door to the shower and turns on the water, which pours onto the stone floor from a long rectangle in the ceiling, almost like rain, rather than from the wall like I’m used to. I’m already naked so while Christian strips out of his pajama bottoms and t-shirt, I step through the glass door to stand beneath the pouring water and I flinch. I’d forgotten how hot Christian takes his showers.

Seconds after, I hear the shower door close and Christian wraps his arms around me, kissing my neck for a minute before turning me around to face him. He takes my face in his hands, brushing his thumb over my cheek tenderly, but he’s gazing intently into my eyes as if he’s searching for an answer to an unspoken question.

“What’s wrong?” I ask, frowning up at him.

“Why are you still on the pill?” He replies and I look back at him with a cynical kind of glare.

“For the orgies, mostly,” I tell him sarcastically, and his expression hardens.

“Am I supposed to find that amusing?”

“Christian…”

“Are you sleeping with somebody else?” He asks and I sigh with exasperation.

“No, I’m not. I haven’t slept with anyone other than you.”

“You haven’t?”

“No, I haven’t,” I tell him, and I feel my cheeks heat as it’s slightly embarrassing to admit this to him.

“Good,” He says, but the relief in his voice makes me feel guilty because even though this is technically true, it’s not for the reason he thinks it is.

“I tried though,” I admit, and the relief in his expression fades into something close to horror.

“What? You did? With who?” He stutters.

“It doesn’t matter, nothing ever happened. Turns out I’m not really good at the whole seduction thing or even flirting really. Nothing ever even went past second base,” I tell him but, still, his jaw tenses and his nostrils flare.

Second base?”

“Barely though. More like, rounding first but out before he actually made it to the base,” I say, defensively, but he isn’t appeased.

“I’m going to need names,” He says tersely. “And any other information you have. Date of birth, mother’s maiden name, social security number…”

“I’m sorry, I don’t make it a habit of asking people their social security number.”

“Names then, Anastasia.”

I frown at him. “Christian!”

“Tell me.”

“No!” I exclaim and he narrows his eyes at me.

“Fine. Elliot will tell me.”

“Elliot doesn’t know anything.”

“Sawyer then.”

“Dead end again, Mr. Grey,” I tell him and he exhales sharply, his mouth set in a hard line as he again searches my eyes as if they will give him the answer. He’s quiet for only a second and then I see a small, self-satisfied smirk cross his lips.

“Kavanagh,” He says and I frown.

“Kate is my best friend, practically my sister. She won’t tell you anything,” I argue but he shakes his head.

“Oh, I’ll get it out of her.”

“No you won’t, and you’re not going to ask her.”

“Tell me and I won’t have to.”

“Fine, you want a name? I’ll give you one,” I tell him and he looks at me expectantly. I take a deep breath and look him very purposefully in the eye.

“Christian Grey,” I say, and he opens his mouth to argue but I hold my finger to his lips to keep him silent. “That’s the only name that matters, because that’s the name of the only man who I’ve ever cared about.”

I take my finger away from his lips and he stares back at me for a second, but he doesn’t say anything, which I assume is because he’s still mad or jealous or whatever it is that has his body so tense that I can actually feel the tightness in his muscles under my hands. Hesitantly, I lean through the water, up onto my tiptoes, and press my lips to his. He returns my kiss, mostly in a conciliatory gesture at first, but when I step into him, pressing my body against his, and the steam from the shower begins rising and swirling around us, it’s almost like something inside of him clicks and his hands reach up to the side of my face and he pushes me, a little roughly, into the shower wall.

“Where did he touch you, Anastasia?” Christian asks, and even though I probably wouldn’t have answered this question anyway, he traces his fingers down my body until he makes contact with my clitoris, and any sense of coherence I may have had to respond, is lost.

“Did he kiss you?” Christian asks.

“Yes,” I reply breathily.

“Here?” he continues, pressing his lips into mine.

“Yes.”

“What about here?” He asks, and his lips trail down my chin to my neck.

“Yes,” I breathe again.

“Did he touch you here?” He asks, his hand moving up to my breast. I whimper in protest at the sudden loss of his fingers on my most sensitive area, and he pinches my nipple between his fingers, hard enough that he elicits a small cry from me. “Answer me.”

“No.”

“Good,” He tells. “What about… here?” His fingers move down to my clitoris again, teasing me, electrifying me, and I moan.

“No, not there,” I tell him.

“No one?”

“No one. Only you,” I affirm.

“And why is that, Anastasia?”

“What?”

“Why is it that no one else has ever touched you here?”

“I-I…” I stutter, too lost in what he’s doing to me to answer him.

“Answer me, or I’ll stop.”

“Because I’ve never wanted someone else,” I reply and he groans, increasing the pressure of his fingers on me.

“Good,” He says. “This belongs to me, Anastasia. You belong to me.”

“Christian,” I moan as his fingers dip inside of me, moving slowly in and out as he continues his ministrations on my clitoris with his palm.

“Say it, Anastasia,” He commands me. “I want to hear you say it.”

“I’m yours, only yours.”

“That’s right, baby,” He says, and he lifts me so that I have to wrap myself around him to keep myself from falling, and once I’m pinned into the slick stone wall at my back, he slides his erection inside of me.

I grip tightly around his neck as he thrusts forward and although he’s not exactly gentle with me, after a minute or two, I scrape my nails over his shoulders, urging him to take me harder.

“Mmmm, you want it rough?” He moans.

“Yes,” I tell him and he leans into me, his head dropping next to mine and I feel his teeth sink into the skin on my shoulder as he thrusts forward at the same time.

“Say it again, Anastasia,” He says as he slams into me.

“I’m yours!” I tell him, panting, “Oh fuck, Christian!”

“That’s it, baby. God, I love hearing you scream my name.”

He moves his hands further up my thighs, coaxing my legs further apart so that he can move deeper inside of me. I gasp with each thrust as he pushes me against the wall again and again. I’m lost in him and in the heat and steam of the shower, in the sound of his harsh breath as he moves in and out of me, in the increasing hoarseness of the near constant string of pleasure driven screams he draws out of me.

I look down at him, his perfectly sculpted body, a true work of art, glistening from the water pouring over both of us. His muscles flex with each tantalizing movement and when his thrusts begin to increase in intensity with the urgency of his approaching orgasm, he tilts his head backwards in ecstasy.

“I’m almost there, baby,” He warns me, and the thought of his release is enough to bring me right to the edge of mine.

“Ahhh!” I cry out as I feel myself building higher and higher, and his breath hisses discordantly through his teeth.

“Fuck, Ana! Come for me,” He commands, his voice harsh under the weight of the restraint he’s using to hold off his own orgasm until I am able to finish with him. “Right now, come for me!”

“Christian!” I cry out as I feel the dam burst and I’m overcome by wave after wave of pulsing pleasure. I’m spiraling down, losing myself in the euphoria of my release and he’s right there with me. We’re lost together.

When the spasms of my orgasm slow and I can feel the weight of my own body again, I collapse against his chest, panting into to him and he leans down to kiss my wet hair before pulling out of me and easing me back onto the shower floor.

He kisses me again, a gentle caress rather than the brutal assault he inflicted on me only moments ago and I moan a small, appreciative sound when he finally pulls away.

“I still can’t believe you’re really here,” He says incredulously, looking at me with wonderment before reaching down and picking up the bottle to pour a dab of shampoo in his hand.

“And I can’t believe I stayed away this long,” I tell him as he hands the bottle to me, but I’m too enraptured watching him to worry about such trivial things as washing now. I’m content to simply marvel at the utter perfection of him and the way the suds roll down his body as he massages the shampoo into his hair. When he notices me standing there, frozen and gawking at him, he raises an eyebrow at me and then steps beneath the cascading water to rinse.

“Miss Steele, I do believe you’re staring.”

“So?”

“Am I distracting you?”

“Always,” I reply, and he smiles down at me, that heartbreakingly perfect smile that quite possibly makes him the most beautiful man on the planet. He runs his hands over his face to wipe away the excess water and then takes me in his arms again.

“I’ve given my staff the day off so that I could be alone with you today,” He tells me in a low murmur. “I think Mrs. Jones has left us croissants for breakfast. Finish up in here and then join me in the kitchen. My closet is just on the other side of the bathroom, you can wear something of mine until you decide to go downstairs and change.”

“Okay,” I agree, and he kisses me once more before stepping out of the shower and disappearing into his bedroom while wrapping a towel around his waist.

When I eventually get around to finishing up in the shower, I too wrap myself in one of the bath towels from the cupboard and then make my way to Christian’s closet in search of something clean to wear. I open the door and step into the closet, which is nearly the size of a small bedroom and begin my search for clothes.

There is a set of deep, cherry wood drawers built into the wall across from me and once I figure out how to open them (by pushing, not pulling), I begin searching for a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I’m fairly callous when looking for pants, since I know everything in here is going to drown me anyway, but I dig carefully through his shirts, smirking to myself when I find an old Harvard t-shirt and slip it over my head. It’s a little too roomy for me, but it’s incredibly soft and it smells vaguely of Christian.

This is going to be mine now.

I try a few more drawers until I find his underwear, but when I push the folded boxer briefs on top to the side, something sea-green and entirely too lacy to be male underwear catches my eye. I look nervously over my shoulder to make sure Christian hasn’t decided to come check on me and then pull it out. To my horror, not only is it a pair of, quite frankly, slutty panties, it’s not the only pair I find. There is a black pair and nude pair too and my stomach roils as the horrible thought that immediately comes to mind is that these could belong to… Elena.

Oh my god, what if… I mean, did I just catch him in another lie? What if he’s sleeping with her again, and often enough that she feels the need to keep several spare pairs of underwear in his drawer? What if it’s not Elena at all? What if he’s had a parade of random girls come through here, some without even the dignity to make sure they’ve left with their freaking underwear after their one night stand? What if it’s someone I know? What if it’s Leila…?

I stop my snowballing train of thought and then steel myself, knowing this is not something I’m going to be able to ignore, and that I really shouldn’t anyway. Dr. Flynn said it was okay to fight with him, right? As long as it’s constructive. Well, here’s to screaming with a purpose.

I slam the dresser closed and march out of the room in search of Christian. As promised, he’s standing in the kitchen, pulling a plate of croissants out of the microwave.

“Hey, baby,” He says with a smile. “There’s Twining’s in here for you.”

I walk up to the breakfast bar, keeping a barrier between us and hold up the panties for him to see.

“What the fuck is this?” I ask him coldly and he turns to look at me, but the curiosity in his face melts away into something I think is shock. “You’re going to get pissed at me because I’ve kissed someone when you have another girl’s freaking panties stashed away in your drawer? Who are you fucking, Christian?”

“Ana, that’s not what that is. That’s nothing,” He says dismissively, and I feel anger boil up inside of me. Keep it constructive, Ana. Do not say anything you’re going to regret later.

“This isn’t nothing, Christian,” I tell him, trying to keep my voice even. “Are these Elena’s?”

“No!” He exclaims, almost disgusted.

“Then where did they come from?” I ask and he raises an eyebrow at me and then laughs. “You think this is funny?” I demand.

“Yes, I do,” He says pointedly. “Ana, those are yours.”

“What?” I ask, frowning, and he reaches out for them, holding up the black pair for me first.

“You wore this pair the night I took your virginity in Vegas. This is the pair you wore our first night together in my dorm room, and these ones I took the night I fucked you on Astor Harrington’s bed. Consequently, I have the pair you wore last night, too. Right here.” He reaches into the pocket of his pajama bottoms and pulls out the lavender tanga panties I was wearing last night.

“Oh…” I say, feeling embarrassed as I realize that, yes, I suppose I do vaguely recognize each pair. Oh hell. “I’m sorry, I guess I didn’t remember…”

“After everything I’ve done to try and prove the depth of my feelings for you, you really thought I’d let some other girl into my bed?”

“I don’t know. We were apart for so long…”

“Time means nothing, I said forever. I meant forever, Anastasia.”

“So, you really never…?” I ask and he shakes his head.

“No.”

“Not even close?”

He frowns and looks down at the plate of croissants in front of him. I know that isn’t a great sign.

“Well, I mean… I thought about it. Once. Just once,” He admits.

“What happened?”

“It was New Year’s Eve, the first year after you left me. It would have been our first year anniversary and I wasn’t… handling it well. Ros was going to some party downtown and she dragged me out to celebrate the deal that we landed with Amazon, but Gwen was there and it turns out that being around a couple falling in love with each other is not the best way to stop thinking about your brother getting to spend New Year’s with the woman you love when you can’t. I remember, I kept worrying about who you were going to kiss at Midnight and eventually, Elliot stopped answering my texts and my imagination started going wild. So, I went across the street to the Hotel 1000 and ordered a few drinks at the bar there.”

“And?”

“And there was a woman there. She was looking at me like she was interested so, I bought her a drink. We talked for a while and then she invited me up to her room. I was going to say yes. I was going take her upstairs and just… try to forget about everything for one night. But the moment I imagined what it would be like, what it would feel like, I realized that there was no pleasure in the idea of having her. It felt like cheating on you and it made me want to be sick. So I paid the tab, told her goodnight and I went home. I haven’t thought about anyone else since.”

“Really?”

“Really. Ana, it’s only you. It’s only ever going to be you. You’re the love of my life, how could I ever want anyone else?”

I’m left speechless, dumbfounded even, by his admission. Still, after all this time, after everything that’s happened between us and after I did everything I could to cut him out of my life, his devotion hasn’t wavered at all. I walk around the bar and wrap my arms around his neck, pulling myself up so that I can kiss him.

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” I tell him.

“I’m sorry I’ve ever given you reason.”

He kisses me again and when he pulls away, I smile and then pick up a pair of panties off the counter. “These have been cleaned, right?”

“Of course they’ve been cleaned,” He says, rolling his eyes. “You think I’d just keep an old, worn pair of panties in my underwear drawer?”

“Like that’s any better than having them at all?” I laugh. “But I’m glad to know you’re not disgusting, just perverted.” I give him a sly smile and reach down to pull the panties on under my t-shirt.

“Excuse me, those are mine now,” He says, and I give him a challenging look.

“Then you’ll have to get them off of me, Mr. Grey.”

“Oh, challenge accepted, Miss Steele,” He replies, and he picks me up and places me on the counter. I wrap my legs and arms around him but just as his lips come crashing down on mine, we hear the high ping of the elevator from the foyer.

“I don’t know, Kate, maybe she went over to Luke’s apartment for the night,” A voice that sounds suspiciously like Elliot says.

“She doesn’t have her cell phone, how would she call Luke to come and get her?”

“Fuck,” Christian hisses, and he yanks me down from the counter, pulling the t-shirt I’m wearing down over my barely covered behind as much as he can.

“What if she was kidnapped? I’m telling you we should call the police,” Kate continues, and both she and Elliot step into the living room and see Christian and I standing in the kitchen, all wet hair and only partially dressed.

A broad smile creeps slowly across Elliot’s face. “Well, good morning. What have you two been doing?” He asks in a teasing voice.

“We’re about to have breakfast,” Christian says in a cool, easy tone, despite the fact that we’ve nearly just been caught red-handed. “Would you care to join us?”

“Worked up an appetite?” Elliot asks pointedly and Christian rolls his eyes.

“Ana left her purse at the bar last night and was locked out of her apartment. I offered to let her stay here until we could collect her things.”

“You have a key…” Elliot argues, undeterred.

“I was tired,” I counter.

“I bet you were,” Elliot says, grinning wider now and Christian huffs with exasperation.

“Can I help you, Elliot?” He asks.

“Well, Kate was going to drop off Ana’s purse for her and then we were heading to Mom’s for brunch. I thought you might like to join us. Of course, if you had other plans…”

Christian frowns and I know it’s because he did have other plans, but going to his parents’ house means he’ll get to spend time with Mia and that is important to him too. Especially after what happened Friday night. They still haven’t really talked about that yet.

“Do you want to go and have brunch with my family?” Christian asks, his tone making it clear that if I don’t go, he won’t either.

“Sure, sounds great,” I tell him. “Your mom has been asking me to come over.”

“Good, then it’s settled,” Kate says quickly. “Why don’t you two keep each other company for a while and Ana and I will head down to her apartment so she can… change. Meet you downstairs in twenty minutes?”

“Sounds good,” Elliot says with a shrug.

Kate gives me an impatient look and then nods her head sharply towards the foyer, so I scurry around the counter, pulling the t-shirt down to cover as much of myself as possible, and make my way to Christian’s room to grab the sweats I left in the closet. When I come back into the living room, Elliot is telling Christian how the perfect complement to his new couch would be a 110″ LCD TV and NFL Sunday Ticket.

I give Christian a sympathetic glance and then follow Kate into the foyer.

Once we’re in the elevator, I expect her to immediately start giving me the third degree, but she doesn’t. She just stares at me expectantly, which is fine because it’s really not that hard for me to ignore. The doors open and I lead the way down the hall to my apartment. Kate pulls my silver clutch out of her purse and as I unlock the door, I almost think I’m going to get away with not talking about what she saw upstairs, but the second I hear the door close behind me, the examination begins.

“What’s going on?” She asks.

“We’re getting ready to go to brunch,” I reply, evasively.

“Cut the crap, Ana. Don’t act like I just didn’t find you naked in Christian Grey’s apartment.”

“I wasn’t naked!” When you found me.

“No, you were just standing around in his t-shirt after you both had clearly been in the shower.”

“He has more than one shower, Kate.”

She narrows her eyes. “You really expect me to believe that?”

“I don’t expect you to believe anything,” I tell her, hoping my cavalier attitude will be enough to dissuade her line of questioning. “Nothing happened. Believe what you want, I don’t care.”

She frowns and I turn around and walk quickly into my bedroom, pulling out my phone and plugging it into the charger by the bed. Kate only bought me 20 minutes, so I don’t have time to do much more than pull my hair up in a messy bun, throw on some tinted moisturizer and mascara and change out of Christian’s clothes. I smile to myself as I tuck his Harvard t-shirt into my top dresser drawer, and then pull a flowy cerulean colored sundress out of my closet. When I’m dressed, I pick up my phone again and see that, over the course of the night, I’ve missed six calls and three voicemails.

I flip through my missed texts, and surprisingly, I find one from Christian from about a minute ago.

I plan on getting those panties back by the end of the night, Anastasia. Make no mistake about that

I shake my head but decide not to dignify his threats with a response. I even think briefly of changing my underwear so I can preemptively circumvent him, because I know that he’s more than capable of breaking my already weak self-control, but… where’s the fun in that?

I smile at the challenge and exit out of my text messages. Before I can slip the phone in my bag though, I notice the google notification in the taskbar…


Google Alert: Christian Grey

TMZ, May 23rd 2010: Grey’s New Love? Summer might not be the only thing in the air for Seattle’s most eligible bachelor, Grey Enterprises Holdings CEO, Christian Grey. Mr. Grey was spotted shopping in Pike’s Market with a mystery young woman on Saturday afternoon. Sources say the new couple looked very cozy with one another, talking, laughing and even canoodling when they were sure no one was looking […]


Oh no…

I click the article and look carefully for pictures of the two of us together or any mention of my name. To my relief I come up empty handed, but still, I know this isn’t a good sign. If there were paparazzi in the market just on some anonymous tip to one news outlet, what will an article on TMZ do? Then, as if the universe is trying to warn me what’s in store, my phone buzzes again, and again… and again…


Google Alert: Christian Grey

X17Online, May 23rd 2010: Eligible no more! Christian Grey, CEO of Grey Enterprises was seen out and about with a new mystery girl, and it was hot, hot, hot! Though no statements have been released by Mr. Grey himself, sources close to the new couple say that things are very serious. “They’re in love and it won’t be long before there is an engagement announcement.”


Google Alert: Christian Grey

Perez Hilton, May 23rd 2010: Grey not gay! Apparently, Christian Grey was seen in Seattle this weekend with a mystery girl who is believed to be his new girlfriend. Eyewitness accounts say they were quite handsy with one another, but there is an astounding lack of evidence to support these claims. Is this possibly Mr. Grey’s PR department trying to cover up the sexual preferences of the most powerful man in Seattle? Pics or it didn’t happen Grey!


Google Alert: Christian Grey:

EOnline, May 23rd 2010: Hot New Couple Alert! Christian Grey, CEO of Grey Enterprises Holdings, is rumored to have a new woman in his life. No name or pictures of the lucky lady have been released, but EOnline will keep you updated as this story develops.


I look down at the phone, feeling a surge of panic but know there isn’t anything I can do about this now. Surely, Christian has some kind of PR person that can deal with this, right? Even if they can’t just make it go away, I’m sure they can spin it into something else.

I try to imagine what that might be as Kate and I leave my apartment and head downstairs where we find Christian and Elliot waiting by the elevator. As we take the walkway towards Christian’s parking places, I tug gently on his sleeve to get him to fall back a few paces from Kate and Elliot.

“I should drive to your parents’ house with Kate,” I tell him, and he raises an eyebrow at me so I hand him my phone to show him the google alerts. “We’re trying to keep this secret, remember? Elliot was never good at keeping secrets, and he works at GEH. If I go with Kate, it might throw them off the scent.”

He looks down at the screen of my phone, dismayed, before turning back to me. “So, you’re saying you don’t want us to be seen together in public at all?”

I shake my head. “I promise, just until the end of the summer.”

He frowns but doesn’t argue with me. Instead, he sighs and turns to look at Elliot.

“Elliot!” He calls, and his brother turns around to look at him. “Want to drive the Veyron?”

Elliot’s jaw drops open at he looks at Christian as though he must have heard him incorrectly. “Are you serious?” He asks.

“Completely. But just know that if you so much as scratch it, I will literally murder you.”

“Deal,” Elliot says excitedly, ignoring Christian’s ridiculous threat. He takes the keys Christian holds out for him and practically runs to the driver’s side door of the sports car parked next to Kate’s BMW. Christian rolls his eyes and follows after him while I climb into the car with Kate.

“Why didn’t you want to go with Christian?” Kate asks as we follow Elliot out of the parking garage.

“Well besides the fact that you’re my best friend and I don’t think I should get the third degree for wanting to spend time with you…” I begin, “Christian went with me down to Pike’s Market yesterday and there was this photographer there trying to get my name. Christian stopped him from getting a picture of the two of us together, but there were still a bunch of google alerts that came out this morning saying he was dating someone. I just don’t want people thinking we’re together since I’m his intern.”

“So… you two really aren’t hooking up?” Kate asks.

“No, Kate,” I lie. “I told you, we’re just friends. But a magazine isn’t going to care about the truth, they’re going to print whatever sells and the hot, young CEO of the fastest growing company in the country sleeping with an intern has scandal written all over it. I don’t want to be identified as his mystery girlfriend and so it’s best we’re not seen together in public at all until my internship is over, or the story goes away. Or they lie and identify someone else, I guess.”

“I’ll do it,” She says suddenly, and then turns to look at me, smiling broadly.

“Do what?” I ask, raising an eyebrow at her.

“I could be his mystery girlfriend. It would be hilarious! Oooh, and then it could come out that I’m sleeping with his brother and we could have this huge break up that leads to a he said/she said tabloid war. It’ll be epic!”

I roll my eyes. “Kate, I think his goal is to stay out of the papers.”

“Well that’s boring,” She replies, disappointed. I laugh and shake my head.

Elliot takes full advantage of the Bugatti’s horsepower and it isn’t long before they are nowhere in sight. By the time we pull up to the Grey’s house, we find both Christian and Elliot waiting next to Christian’s car for us and it looks as though they’ve been here a few minutes at least.

“It was so amazing, Kate,” Elliot says as we take the walk up to the front door. “It practically glides over the road. There’s no drag at all. Christian, I think as a thank you to me for never exercising my right as your older brother to beat the shit out of you, you should gift me your car.”

“I think you’re fucking delusional,” Christian replies with a laugh.

We walk into the house, but since no one is there to greet us at the front door, we have to go on a search for the rest of the Greys. We find them in the kitchen, Grace stirring a pot on the stove, Carrick slicing fruit on the counter next to her and Mia sitting at the breakfast bar on her phone. They look up to greet us, and Grace’s eyes widen with surprise when she sees Christian.

“Christian!” She says happily, reaching down to turn off the gas burner and pulling the pot off the heat before walking around the counter and wrapping him in a hug. “I’m so happy to see you, I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Elliot came and got Ana and I this morning,” He explains and while Grace gives her other son an appreciative hug, I turn my focus on Carrick. He’s staring at Christian, jaw tense, but his expression otherwise unreadable.

“Dad,” Christian greets him with a stiff nod.

“Christian,” Carrick replies with the same formal kind of air.

There is an awkward tension between the two of them as they stare intently at one another. It’s almost like a weird power struggle between them and the atmosphere of the room is uncomfortable for a long moment until Grace finally breaks the silence.

“Well, breakfast is almost ready. Why don’t you boys go set the table? Mia, help your brothers.”

I follow Christian into the kitchen and pull forks and knives out of the drawer next to the sink while he reaches into the cabinet to collect plates, and then everyone aside from Grace and Carrick heads into the dining room.

“Hey, thanks for covering for me the other night, Christian. That was really cool of you,” Mia says as we lay the dishes around the table, but Christian just looks up and glares at her.

“Don’t think it’s because I approve,” He says. “We still need to have a talk about that.”

“Talk about what?” Elliot asks.

“About your little sister doing drugs at a college party on Friday night,” Christian snarls.

“What?” Elliot and Kate shriek in unison.

“Shh!” Mia hisses, glancing nervously at the kitchen door. “Keep your voice down, Mom and Dad will hear you.”

“Good,” Elliot says. “Mom!”

“Elliot!” Mia protests.

“Knock it off, Elliot,” Christian says quietly. “If Dad finds out, he’s just going to make it worse. I’m handling it.”

Elliot gives Christian a suspicious look as Grace pops her head around the corner.

“What is it, dear?” She asks and Elliot caves under Christian’s hard glare.

“Is this how you the want the table set?” He asks.

Grace raises an eyebrow but glances quickly around the table. “It looks fine to me,” She says, “I think we’re done in here, why don’t you all come help bring the food to the table?”

Grace has outdone herself with eggs benedict made with smoked salmon, roasted herb potatoes, blueberry lemon scones, a pile of bacon, and a fresh fruit salad. She chats happily with everyone as the bowls are passed around the table, asking each of us in turn how our lives and work are going. Elliot is much more enthusiastic when talking about work now than he ever was in Cambridge and Kate happily tells everyone how much she’s already been able to accomplish at Kavanagh Media this summer.

“And how about you, Ana?” Grace asks. “I hear you’ve written a book and it might get published. That’s wonderful dear.”

“Yeah,” I reply, feeling a little embarrassed by the praise in her tone. “It’s being edited now and I filed for a copyright about a month ago.”

“What’s it about?” She asks.

“Oh, uh…” I falter, looking uneasily at Christian who is watching me intently. “I suppose it’s mostly about overcoming depression. Really I think it’s a examination of the human condition and the resilience of hope when we’re forced to deal with unexpected loss.”

“It’s brilliant,” Kate interjects, smiling proudly at me. “Seriously, it’s unbelievably moving. Even Elliot teared up a little in the end.”

“I was not prepared,” Elliot says.

“So you’ve both read it then?” Christian asks.

“Of course we have,” Kate says. “I’m the one who encouraged her to submit it for her advanced fiction writing class. I’ve been pushing her to get it published since I started reading the first drafts.”

Christian frowns, and I know it’s because when he asked for a copy I told him no. I just think he’s a little too close to the project. Kate was far enough removed that she could enjoy it objectively, I worry that if I let Christian read it, it will hurt him.

“Well, I’d love a copy,” Grace says. “It’s such an amazing accomplishment. Carrick and I are very proud of you, Anastasia.”

“Thanks, Grace,” I say, flushing again.

“And how is your internship going this summer?”

“Fine,” I tell her, and I’m disappointed that she continues to look at me, clearly wanting details of my first week. Anything I’d have to talk about with her on this topic is going to be underwhelming compared to what Kate and Elliot have shared. “This week I reviewed a bunch of contracts and I… didn’t get Christian’s coffee wrong even one time.”

“Coffee?” Carrick scoffs, and then he turns a hard look on Christian. “You have a Harvard student who is about to become a published author working in your office and you’re using her to get you coffee?”

“No,” Christian says irritably. “She’s here for something much more important than coffee, but the project I have for her doesn’t fall under GEH control until June first. She’s been helping my assistant in the meantime.”

“I see,” Carrick says shortly, and then he turns back to his food.

“Carrick,” Grace prods him gently. “It’s been awhile since you’ve seen your son. Surely you’re interested in what he’s been up to.”

Carrick frowns but under Grace’s insistent gaze, he turns to Christian once more. “How’s business?” He asks.

“Fine,” Christian says, briskly. “Actually, it’s great. My fiber optics division just secured a contract that will more than double its revenue outlook. GEH’s bottom line should surpass a billion dollars by the end of the fiscal year.”

“Wait, so you’re officially going to be a billionaire?” Elliot asks.

“Come July, yes,” Christian says.

“Holy shit!” Elliot says and then his face lights up. “Well my birthday is in August so let’s talk about what colors that Bugatti comes in.”

“Keep dreaming, Elliot,” Christian says, fighting to keep the smile off his face. “I am finally going to be able to buy my jet though. Boeing has been holding something special for me.”

“A private jet?” Kate asks excitedly.

“Yes, I travel a lot for business and I’ve never been fond of commercial airlines. They’re very crowded.”

“Well that’s wonderful, son,” Grace says. “Your father and I are so proud of you. All of these different businesses that you’ve brought together and made successful, it’s just astounding.”

“Yes, diversification is important,” Carrick adds. “Fiber Optics, Construction, Manufacturing… tell me, Christian, how’s the salon business these days?”

I drop my fork and the clatter of it hitting my plate reverberates through the dining room as everyone falls silent and turns nervously to face both Carrick and Christian. They’re both glaring at each other, neither backing down from the unspoken challenge behind Carrick’s words and the sense of tension in the room returns, so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Booming,” Christian says, shortly. “More and more profitable every quarter.”

“Well I suppose that isn’t difficult when the person you have running it has no sense of ethics. Should we be worried about the type of business practices you’re undoubtedly turning a blind eye on?”

“Carrick!” Grace says angrily, but Christian ignores her.

“I assure you, every division of my company is held to the highest ethical standards and that includes my management staff.”

“I’m sure it does,” Carrick replies, and the muscle in Christian’s jaw twitches. It’s silent around the table as we all try to avoid saying anything to set either of them off, until eventually, Mia pushes her plate forward and backs her chair away from the table.

“Well, this has been fun,” She says sarcastically. “But if you all are just going to fight, then I’m going to go ahead and leave. I’m late to meet my friends anyway.” She begins walking around the table but Christian reaches out to stop her.

“What friends are you meeting?” He asks, his gaze baring into her.

“Just some kids from school, relax,” She replies, yanking her arm out of Christian’s grasp and then she turns to look at Grace.

“Thanks for another great family get together, Mom,” She says. “We really should do it more often.”

“Amelia!” Carrick yells, but Mia has already disappeared into the kitchen.

“Great, Dad,” Elliot says, angrily. “You couldn’t even give us just one morning?”

Carrick glances around the table to each and every person giving him a disapproving look and he shakes his head and picks his cell up off the table. “I have some phone calls to make,” He says.

“Sure, just walk away!” Grace says, but Carrick too simply storms out of the dining room leaving us all to sit over half eaten plates of food, surrounded by the harsh words that still seem to be echoing around the room. I look at Christian, and he’s pushing his food around his plate, grinding his teeth together.

“Mom…” He says eventually, but Grace interrupts him.

“I’m sorry, Christian,” She says. “He’s just… he’s hurt more than anything. He loves you, you know he loves you, but he’s just struggling to deal with some of his own disappointments…”

“I don’t care about him,” Christian says. “I need to talk to you about Mia.”

“I know,” Grace sighs. “But, she’s a teenager. It’s a phase, you both with through it too. She’ll come around.”

“I don’t think so,” Christian says. “I think she’s following more in my footsteps than Elliot’s.”

“What do you mean?” Grace asks, and her face morphs with sudden foreboding.

“She didn’t come to my house after her ballet auditions on Friday,” Christian says. “I picked her up from a party she was at that got but busted by the police. I was able to stop her from being arrested but she was drinking and she was smoking weed.”

“What?” Grace snaps. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Because, I was afraid of what Dad would do if you two found out. I’m worried about her. I think she’s having a harder time dealing with all of this family discord than she’s letting on and she’s making unhealthy decisions to cope with it. I know what that’s like, and I don’t want her to go through what I went through. Ballet is a healthy outlet for her and I was afraid that if Dad found out she’d been doing drugs, he’d make her quit and try to lock her down like he did to me. That’s only going to make it worse. She needs understanding and guidance, she doesn’t need to be punished.”

“Okay, you’re right,” Grace says with a nod. “I’ll talk to her alone this evening and we’ll come up with a plan together. Maybe she could take a few extra dance classes a week or maybe she could even get a job, even if it’s just to occupy her time.”

“I could find something for her if you need me to,” Christian offers, and Grace nods.

“I’ll talk to her about it and see what she thinks.”

“Good, let me know.”

While Christian, Elliot and Grace discuss the Mia issue further, Kate and I clear the dishes from the table and clean the kitchen. We’re hovering awkwardly for a while, glancing nervously in the direction of Carrick’s office as we wonder if he’ll even come out again while Christian is here. He doesn’t though and it isn’t long before the three of them come out of the dining room, looking a little more confident in their plan of action.

“Are you ready to go?” Christian asks me. “I can give you a ride home so Kate doesn’t have to drive into Seattle to drop you off.”

“Sure, thanks,” I say, remembering almost too late that he’s saying this because we’re supposed to be keeping our newly rekindled relationship a secret.

We each hug, Grace, Elliot and Kate goodbye and then he leads me back through the house towards his car. The moment we’re through the front door, he clasps his hand around mine and I rub my thumb over the side of his hand reassuringly.

“Are you okay?” I ask as we pull down the long driveway, the engine of the Veyron growling beneath the hood as Christian turns onto the road.

“I’m fine,” He says.

“You can talk to me if you need to,” I tell him. “I mean, that was… intense back there. I just want you to know that if you ever need someone to vent to or talk to about anything, that I’m here.”

He glances over at me and then reaches over to place his hand on my knee, stroking his fingers gently over the fabric of my dress. “Thank you,” He tells me. “I’m glad you came today.”

“Me too.”

“This really is real, isn’t it?” He asks. “You and me?”

“Of course it’s real, Christian,” I tell him and then, to prove my point, I unfasten my seatbelt so I can lean over the distance between us and kiss him on the cheek.

“Get back in your seat,” He says disapprovingly, although he’s trying to suppress a smile. “I’m driving a $2.5 million car right now and you’re distracting me.”

“I’m not sorry, Mr. Billionaire,” I tell him, purposefully pulling my dress up over my knee as I cross my legs so that his fingers make contact with my exposed skin. He looks over at me again, and lets out a long frustrated breath before turning his eyes on the road and putting his foot down on the gas.

The moment he pulls the car into the parking space back in the garage under Escala, he reaches over and pulls me into him, kissing me hard.

“Let’s get you upstairs and naked,” He whispers against my lips and I moan in approval.

Once we’re out of the car, he takes my hand and practically drags me down the long walkway towards the elevator. I wait impatiently as he enters the code for his apartment and the second the doors clothes, he grabs ahold of me, pins me to the wall and imprisons my lips with his again.

Our hands fly hungrily over each other, gripping and pulling at the other’s clothes while the elevator moves at what feels like a crawl towards the 31st floor. I feel Christian’s fingers entwine in my hair, tugging slightly so that my head lolls back and he can kiss my neck. He reaches under my dress, gripping my behind, and then moves his hand down my thigh, pulling it up over his hips and then lifting me into the air. I wrap myself around him and kiss him again and once the elevator pings and the doors open, he carries me into his apartment.

We don’t make it to the bedroom. Instead, he sets me on the back of his couch and we both immediately start peeling our clothes off. Once my dress and panties are discarded on the floor by his feet, he grips my knees, brings me to the edge of the couch and pulls my knees apart. The movement causes me to fall backwards so that I’m upside down and my head is resting on the cushion. I can’t see him this way, but I can feel him. He strokes himself against me, lubricating the tip of his erection before he plunges inside of me.

I gasp, loudly, as the position we’re in gives him the perfect angle to the place inside of me that ignites my body with pleasure.

“Hold on, Ana,” He grunts as he begins thrusting in and out of me. “This is going to be quick, and this is going to be hard.”

I whimper and grasp onto the back of the couch as he wraps my leg around him so that he can force himself deeper into me. His hands clamp down on my hips and since my position over the couch leaves me unable to move, he pulls me back into him. He’s gripping me so tightly, I wonder briefly if his fingers will leave behind bruises, but I don’t care. I want him to hold me tighter, to take me harder. It’s a hedonistic masochism that is beyond rational thought and I’m enraptured with it.

“Oh god, Christian, harder!” I beg and miraculously, he complies, groaning as he pounds into me again and again.

“Like that, baby?” He asks. “Is that going to make you come?”

“Yes!” I scream and he growls a deep, animalistic sound.

“God, you’re beautiful like this,” He whispers. “And you feel so fucking good.”

He rests his hand down on my stomach, just above my pubic bone, and he presses down so that I feel him moving against the front wall of my vagina and my body begins to shudder as my orgasm approaches.

“That’s it, give it up for me, baby. I want to feel you come on my cock.”

He shifts me again, pulling my legs together and moving them over his shoulder so that he can grip onto me while he thrusts again and again. I don’t last much longer and when his hand falls down to my breast, gripping me tightly before tugging gently on my nipple, I’m sent falling over the edge and I come, spectacularly, around him, pushing him to his own release.

He stills inside of me, resting his face against my legs as we come down from the high together. I feel exposed here, naked and sprawled out in his living room in the middle of the day, when I’m so used to his staff lurking around just out of sight.

“You’re sure Taylor isn’t here?” I ask, reaching up to cover my breasts and he smirks down at me.

“Don’t worry, baby. You wouldn’t be here like this if we weren’t alone. Taylor is with his daughter. He won’t be back until tomorrow morning,” Christian says.

I wince as he pulls out of me and reaches down to pick up my dress off the floor. He tosses it to me and as I right myself on the couch and slip the dress over my head, he holds up my discarded panties, his eyes shining with mirth.

“Shit!” I say as I realize what’s happened.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Miss Steele,” He says with an overly satisfied smile, tucking the panties into his fist, and I can do nothing but glare at him as he picks up his own clothes and saunters victoriously through the apartment towards his bedroom.

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