I stare morosely out the window as Christian and I pull away from the cabin Monday afternoon. It’s been an amazing weekend, the kind that – despite the lack of cell service or internet access – you hope never comes to an end. Christian takes my hand and holds it in place on the armrest between us, and I sigh as I turn to face the road ahead of us.

We stop for lunch in a small town just over the border in New Hampshire and the fact that we’ve re-entered to civilization becomes immediately apparent as both of our cellphones start vibrating furiously with incoming texts, voicemails and emails. Christian pulls into a diner just off the main road and, once we’re seated at a table, we both begin looking through our phones to catch up on our lives.

Most of what I’ve missed is from Kate. I scroll through the missed texts which seem to grow more and more urgent as the weekend progressed.

Today has been amazing. What did you and Christian do? Are you two still fighting?

Elliot and I rode bikes over the Golden Gate today at sunrise, it was incredible. You definitely need to come with me one of these weekends!

Hey, what are you doing?

Ana?

Why are you ignoring me?

Are you mad at me or something? I’m sorry if what I said at the bar the other night about you and Christian having sex embarrassed you 😦

Seriously, Ana?

Why is your phone off? Please call me when you get this.

Elliot tried to call Christian but his phone is off too. What is going on with you two? I’m starting to think you’ve been murdered. Please call me so I know you’re okay!

It’s been two days and nothing? You’re really starting to freak me out!

Anastasia Rose Steele!

I’m getting on a plane back to Boston right now and you’re my ride. I still can’t get ahold of either you or Christian! Please tell me that you’re coming!

Boarding my connecting flight, I really hope you’re going to be at the airport! I get in a 3:15.

I frown down at the screen of my phone. I really should have let her know I was going to be unavailable all weekend. I can picture her, sitting on a plane wrapped up in a tight ball of anxiety.

“I have to pick up Kate at the airport at 3,” I tell Christian. “Can we do that before we head back to Cambridge?”

“Sure,” He says distractedly. He doesn’t look up from his phone and I frown as I realize our bubble has been broken and the outside world has returned to sour Christian’s mood. We order food and eat in relative silence before hurrying back to the car as we’ll only just make it back in time to pick up Kate.

“Thank you for a wonderful weekend,” I say as he navigates his way through the increasingly familiar streets of Boston.

“You’re welcome,” He says. “It really was a great weekend.”

I smile at him as we pull into the parking garage at Logan International Airport. Christian holds my hand and together we walk to the security gate where we wait patiently for Kate. When I finally see her break through the crowd of people filing through the automatic doors, I notice her looking worriedly around the waiting area. Eventually, her eyes fall on me and there is the slightest look of relief that crosses her face but it’s quickly replaced by an irritated scowl.

“What’s her problem?” Christian asks.

“She’s been trying to get ahold of me all weekend. I didn’t have the chance to tell her that I was going to be out of cell service,” I reply and let go of his hand to walk forward and greet Kate.

“Hi,” I say hesitantly.

“Hi?” She repeats incredulously. “Hi? Ana, where the hell have you been all weekend? Why haven’t you responded to any of my texts or answered any of my calls? I was legitimately scared I was going to get back here and find out something horrible had happened to you.”

“I’m fine, Kate,” I say, fighting the urge to roll my eyes at her overreaction to 72 hours of no contact. “Christian took me to Vermont this weekend and we didn’t have cell service.”

“Vermont?” Kate asks, the anger in her expression dissipating quickly in favor of curiosity. “Really? That sounds so… romantic. What did you do? Where did you stay? Tell me everything.”

“You first,” I tell her. “We honestly didn’t do much so I’m sure your weekend will be much more exciting to hear about.”

She smiles brightly as we walk back to join Christian.

“How was your weekend, Kate?” He asks, reaching out to take her bag to carry back to the car. I beam at him as Kate gratefully hands him her suitcase.

“It was really good. Elliot and I had a wonderful time and I adore San Francisco so I was glad to spend some time there.”

“How is Elliot?” Christian asks.

“He did have to spend a good deal of the day on Sunday working on some things he has to get in early since he’ll be flying out here Wednesday, but for the most part he was wonderful.”

My stomach drops suddenly as Kate inadvertently reminds me of Elena’s imminent arrival this week. I’d nearly forgotten…

“Ugh, the ballet,” I groan involuntarily, and Kate looks at me curiously.

“You don’t like the ballet? I’m kind of excited.”

“Oh.. uh no, it’s not that. I just forgot. I have a lot to do this week,” I say quickly, glancing up at Christian who looks stoically ahead.

“Well, I was hoping you wanted to go into Boston with me tomorrow and go shopping. We need something formal to wear.”

“I’ve already taken care of that,” Christian says.

“What do you mean, you’ve taken care of it?” I ask suspiciously.

“I ordered something for you from New York. It should be waiting for you when we get back.”

I feel the all too familiar pangs of guilt as I imagine the cost of the dress waiting for me back at school.

“You’ll still go with me though?” Kate asks as we climb into Christian’s car. “I wish I would have had more time to prepare. I have a dress that I wore to a charity event my father’s company put on last year that would have been perfect, but there isn’t time for my mom to ship it to me.”

“Of course I’ll go with you, Kate,” I tell her. “I work tomorrow but we can go after I get off?”

“Sounds like a plan,” She says. “Christian, did you make hotel reservations for everyone? Elliot said you hadn’t gotten back to him and he was going to book something this weekend but he didn’t know where your parents were staying or if you had already made the reservations.”

“I haven’t. Hold on,” He says. He presses a button on the screen in the dashboard console and scrolls through a list of contacts before selecting Seattle Children’s Hospital. The soft background music is silenced and replaced by the ring of the call.

“Seattle Children’s Hospital, how may I direct your call?” A chipper female voice answers.

“Dr. Grace Trevelyan, please,” Christian says.

“Are you a patient?”

“No, I’m her son.”

“Hold one moment, please. I’ll see if she’s available.”

He turns onto the road that will take us back to Cambridge as hold music sounds through the speakers until Grace picks up.

“Elliot, honey, I have a patient waiting, can I call you back?” She asks.

“It’s Christian.”

“Oh,” She says, surprise obvious in her tone. “What happened? What’s wrong?” Her alarm is disconcerting and I suppose it’s because Christian doesn’t call her very often. I think of how much effort Grace puts into keeping her kids close and the isolation Christian has put between himself and his family makes me sad. Another horrible consequence of his relationship with the bitch troll.

“Nothing is wrong, Mom.” Christian reassures her. “I just wanted to know if you made hotel reservations for everyone or if I should?”

“Oh,” She says relieved. “No, your father booked rooms for us at The Liberty. We thought Elliot would stay with either you or Kate.”

“Okay, thanks Mom.” Christian says.

“I love you, dear. Call me later tonight.”

“I will,” He replies. He presses the red button on the screen and the phone goes out and music begins to fill the car.

“I can stay with Christian so you and Elliot can have our room.” I offer, turning around to look at Kate, but she shakes her head.

“I can’t skip any classes this week which means he’ll be alone all day Thursday and Friday and won’t be able to get back in if he decides to leave.”

“I’ll book a room,” Christians tells Kate before he turns his head to look at me, “Do you want to stay in Boston Thursday night?”

“My early class is on Friday,” I tell him.

“I’ll get you back,” He promises, so I shrug. It seems kind of silly for us to stay in an expensive hotel room 30 minutes away from campus when we have class the next day but I suppose Christian probably wants to be close to his family.

“We should find something going on Wednesday night,” Kate says. “That’s generally party night for off campus students, isn’t it? Do you guys know of anything?”

“No, but I’ll look around,” Christian says.

“Maybe Jose knows of something?” I add, he was the one who invited us to our first off campus party after all. Kate nods and picks up her phone to call Elliot and let him know that we have made reservations for the weekend. Once she hangs up she spends the rest of the trip home telling us about her trip to San Francisco.

“Oh, and there was this guy down on the wharf that-” She says excitedly but Christian cuts her off.

“Kate, isn’t that your car?” He asks, suddenly pointing through the front windshield as we pull into the parking lot.

“What? Oh my god!” Kate gasps as she sees what Christian is pointing at. We scramble out of the car to Kate’s Mercedes and find the back passenger window completely smashed in.

“Don’t touch anything,” Christian says urgently, as he pulls out his phone and dials the police.

“What happened?” Kate asks, looking helplessly at the shattered glass all over the asphalt around her back tire.

“It doesn’t look like they took anything important. Your stereo is still there, your GPS, all your chargers and AUX cables…” I say, scanning the interior of the car through the front passenger window. “Did you have anything else in the car?”

“Uh… My gym bag, I think, and some notebooks for school. But they’re gone.”

“You’re sure you left them in there?” I ask.

“Yeah, but why would someone want my gym bag?”

“I don’t know… Did you have anything in it?”

“My iPod, I think… I can’t remember. But even if I did, they would have had to go through my entire gym bag to find it.”

“They wouldn’t have taken the gym bag if they just wanted your iPod,” Christian says, as he hangs up the phone. “It’s easier to spot someone carrying a bright pink duffle bag across campus than something they could have easily just slipped into their pocket.”

The police arrive a few minutes later and Christian and I wait for Kate by his car while she gives a statement. When she’s finished I wrap an arm around her and walk with her back to Grays. She’s shaking the whole way as the initial shock and adrenaline wears off.

“I need to go meet with Ros for a while, do you need anything, Kate?” Christian asks once we’re back upstairs and inside our room.

“No, I don’t think so,” She replies quietly.

“I took some pictures of your window on my phone, I’ll email them to you. Call your insurance company and file a claim. Do you want me to make an appointment at a shop in town to get your car fixed?” He asks.

“Please, and… thank you, Christian,” She says, and she seems surprised by his help. He nods and I hug him good-bye before he turns to leave the room.

“Are you okay, Kate?” I ask when the door closes behind him.

“Yeah, just… it’s weird, you know? It feels really personal. I mean, yeah, he got my iPod but he also just took a bunch of dirty clothes. It freaks me out. I would have rather he pulled the stereo out of my dash.”

“I’m so sorry, Katie,” I say, sympathetically. She nods and picks up her phone to dial her insurance company. She’s on the phone for over an hour detailing everything about the robbery that she can. I can hear in her voice that she’s really freaked out and I feel terrible because I don’t know what to do besides offer reassuring looks of sympathy whenever I catch her eye.

Once she’s off the phone, she calls Elliot to tell him what happened and then we head down to dinner to meet Christian and Ros. Ros is shocked when we tell her and she presses Kate for details, but Kate remains fairly reticent. I don’t think she wants to talk about it anymore so instead, I try to turn the conversation to Elliot’s impending arrival.

“So, what’s the plan for Wednesday?” I ask, and immediately, Christian’s face hardens. Ros looks hesitantly at me. Clearly, Christian has asked her if she knew of anything going on and the answer isn’t good.

“I’ve only heard of one party so far…”

“Where?” I ask, and she looks nervously to a table on the other side of the hall. I follow her gaze and see Astor Harrington sitting with a group of guys laughing about something.

“Oh,” I say, slightly crestfallen.

“What’s the problem? You guys know him,” Kate asks, perking up slightly at the prospect of a night out with Elliot.

“Not in a good way. I don’t think either Christian or I could get an invite even if we begged,” Ros says.

“And we wouldn’t beg,” Christian adds seriously.

“Yeah, but he’s like in love with Ana. Make her go ask him,” Kate says.

Ros and I both turn to look at Christian, her expression expectant, mine nervous. He looks back at me and I can’t read him.

“Do you want to go?” He asks evenly.

“I mean, if we can’t find something else… I want to go out with Kate and Elliot,” I say diplomatically.

“Then you should ask him,” He says, and I stare back at him incredulously. He looks back at me very seriously. “I trust you, Ana.”

I smile at him, feeling as though I’m on cloud nine. This weekend has changed everything. We’re finally on the same page as one another and it’s bliss.

He gets up from the table and kisses me quickly on the top of my head before turning to Ros. “I’m going to finish drafting that UN proposal tonight, I’ll send it over to you by 11:30. Do you have those statistical analysis work books done?”

“Nearly.”

“Good, email them to me when you’re finished,” He says, and then he looks at Kate. “I’m going to head over to the hardware store and get some cellophane to put over your window, I think it’s going to snow. I have a break in my schedule at 12:30, I can follow you to the auto shop and give you a ride back to campus, if you’d like.”

“Oh, uh… yeah. Thanks, Christian!” Kate says, nearly flabbergasted, and I feel a warm rush of delight to see him helping to take care of my best friend.

“Don’t mention it,” He says quickly. “Just text me when you’re ready.”

Kate nods enthusiastically and Christian leans down to kiss me good-bye one last time before leaving for his therapy session. The moment he’s left the table, Ros rounds on me beaming at me with a 10,000 megawatt smile.

“What did you do to him?” She asks reverentially.

“Nothing!” I say, feeling my cheeks heat as I find it impossible to wipe the ridiculous grin off my face. “We just had a very good weekend.”

“Well, keep it up. I could get used to this new, improved, laid back version of Christian,” She replies happily.

When we’re finished with dinner, Kate and I walk the couple blocks down Massachusetts Avenue to the GAP. Kate wants to get new workout clothes and a new duffle bag so she can go to the gym tomorrow, and as she places her items on the checkout counter, I can see that worried, almost fearful look has returned to her eyes. I really hope the police find something out about what happened.

We walk silently back to campus but before we get to Grays, Kate stops me.

“Did you ever pick up your dress?” She asks.

“Oh, no. I’ll meet you upstairs?” I say, turning to walk over to the mail room, but Kate shakes her head and follows after me. The guy standing behind the attendant counter in the mail room hands me a long, rather thick shipping box and Kate eyes is excitedly, which makes me glad as I think it’s a good distraction from her concern about her car.

Back in our room, I place the box on top of my dresser and attempt to settle down to do my homework but Kate wants to see the dress Christian bought, so I pull out a pair of scissors and pull open the cardboard shipping box to reveal another box that is charcoal gray with the words Alexander McQueen New York embossed over the lid.

“Oh my god!” Kate squeals excitedly, lunging forward to pull out the box. I roll my eyes as she opens the lid for me, setting it down carefully as if it’s something fragile and precious, and then pulls out a long, black satin gown.

“It’s so pretty!” She says with awe as she touches the fine black fabric. “Can I try it on?”

I roll my eyes, seeing the dollar signs flashing in my mind, but there is nothing I can do about it now, so I nod. She smiles broadly and rushes giddily into the bathroom, returning moments later in the dress. It’s strapless with a tightly fitted bodice and extremely smooth lines. The skirt is also well fitted but surprisingly falls gracefully around Kate’s tip-toes.

“This is amazing, Ana,” Kate says, examining herself in the mirror. “I admit it, I’m jealous.”

“Me too,” I laugh. “It looks way better on you than it ever will on me.” Kate frowns and I look at her curiously.

“Maybe I should just ask my mom to take my dress over to the Greys’ house and see if Grace will bring it. I don’t know how we’re going to go shopping in Boston without a car…”

“I’m sure Christian would let us use his,” I offer, trying to be helpful. “I’ll ask him tomorrow.”

She nods and then disappears back into the bathroom to change again. When she returns she gently places the gown back into the matte gray box and then busies herself packing her gym bag while I get a start on the homework I didn’t finish.

I open my laptop and scroll through my emails. Most are just spam messages from the University or teachers sending out reminders for class. I do have one from Astor, which fortunately does in fact have Carter and Aiden Cc’d on it, confirming our study group on Thursday. They’ve both replied that they’ll be there and since I’d already accepted in person with him last week, I don’t reply.

Once I’m finished with my homework, I think briefly about going to stay with Christian but since Kate’s mood has definitely soured since the Wednesday night party discussion, I decide I’d probably stay with her. I send Christian a text message telling him I won’t be over, and then settle into bed, pulling out a book instead of going straight to sleep since I want to be awake in case Kate decides she needs to talk or something. She doesn’t say anything though, beyond regular small talk, and 30 minutes after I’ve started reading, she too gets into bed and we both go to sleep.

The next day at school is significantly better than last Friday. Class is easy as I discover I’m one of the few people who finished the reading assignment for Paradise Lost and am able to help lead the class discussion. By the time I get to work, I’m in a really good mood.

Ryan gives me some books to shelve in the beginning but most of my shift I spend at the circulation desk printing labels to stick onto the spines of the new books that have come in over the weekend. It’s mindless work, which is probably why I actually notice Astor as he walks up to my desk this time.

“You sure seem to spend a lot of time here,” I say as I finish with the label in my hand.

“Best place to study on campus,” He says with a shrug. I want to roll my eyes, but I refrain because today I actually do need something from him.

“How was your weekend?” He asks.

“Good. Christian and I went out of town.”

“Oh?” He asks, his interests peaked. “Let me guess, he took you an exhibit where you spent hours watching paint dry?”

“No, he took me to a cabin in the woods and we spent hours reading about international trade laws and embargos,” I reply pointedly.

“Sounds enthralling.”

“Well, I learned how human rights violations can affect trade,” I say innocently, and he rolls his eyes.

“Yeah that was annoying, but I knew he’d find a way out of it eventually. Doesn’t it get tiring dating someone always gets what he wants and never has to face any consequences?”

“If you think that’s true, you just don’t know him very well,” I say, fighting the pang of sadness I feel as I think of the physical scars Christian carries around with him. He’s faced consequences more than any of the rest of us, more than anyone ever should have.

“Is that why you haven’t responded to my email?” He asks, and I look at him confused, worried for a minute that he can read my thoughts or something.

“What?”

“Because you were out in the forest or whatever?”

“Oh… no. I already told you I’d come to the study group on Thursday,” I say dismissively. He nods and I think he’s about to walk away so I force out the words in a too fast torrent.

“I hear you’re having a party tomorrow.”

He stops and smiles back at me. “I might be. Why, did you want to come?”

“Well, yeah… if it’s cool.”

“But you’ll bring Grey?” He asks, his eyes narrowing.

“His brother is dating my best friend and he gets into town tomorrow. We were trying to find something to do and your party sounded like fun,” I say. “Come on, you’ve got the chance to be the bigger person here.”

He takes a long pause, then shakes his head, and reaches out for a pen and scrap of paper, which he scribbles his address on.

“It starts at nine, don’t be late,” He tells me. I smile gratefully as he turns to leave. Well, that’s taken care of. Kate should be pretty happy about that at least. I wonder how her car thing went today with Christian?

I spend the next few hours finishing the daunting project of labeling the large stack of new books and shelving them. It takes me right up to the end of my shift and once six o’clock strikes, I’m out the door to meet Christian, Kate, and Ros for dinner.

Kate and I eat quickly as Christian has agreed to let us use his car to head downtown so we can go shopping, but she pouts the entire time we’re in Boston since the mechanic has told her she won’t be getting her car back for a few days. Finding a dress she likes does seem to perk up, though. She looks stunning in the flowy, royal blue, chiffon gown she’s purchased, and that night, when we’re back in our room, she puts it on to do her homework, refusing to take it off until we have to go to bed. I laugh at her as I get up to head across the hall for the night.

“You’re not staying here tonight?” She complains.

“Don’t worry, one night alone won’t kill you. After all, Elliot will be here tomorrow,” I tell her, and she winks at me as a broad smile crosses her face at the idea.

“Goodnight, Kate,” I say as I roll my eyes.

“Goodnight, Ana,” She replies, and I close the door behind me, trying desperately to wipe all thoughts of Kate and Elliot out of my mind as I make my way to Christian’s room.

Next Chapter

 

“One, two, three,” Kate says, and she, Ros, and I bang the bottom of our shot glasses against the table and slam them down. The vodka burns as I quickly swallow it down, and I grimace immediately.

“I need some water,” I say, feeling my head starting to swim from the effects of my third shot in the last 30 minutes. I stand up to walk to the bar but Stronger by Kanye West begins blaring over the speakers and Kate squeals and reaches out to drag me onto the dance floor. I hesitate while I watch her and Ros begin dancing before I reluctantly join them, unsure of my footing in my inebriated state. We make it through three songs before I’m out of breath and Ros motions us back to the table for more drinks. I order a rum and coke and a tall glass of water and turn to Kate and Ros.

“So, what are you doing this weekend while I’m away, Ana?” Kate asks.

“Homework, mostly,” I yell over the music. “I’ve got to catch up on reading in my Milton class.”

“I don’t think so!” Ros yells back conspiratorially. “I sent Christian a study schedule for this weekend and he rejected all of it. He said he has plans all weekend.”

“All weekend, huh?” Kate says. “Damn, that boy’s got stamina.”

“Kate!” I exclaim, feeling my face flush.

“I’d like to think it’s a romantic weekend filled with flowers and chocolates but is completely celibate. Believe it or not, I spend a lot of time trying not to think about Christian Grey having sex,” Ros says.

“Well, it’s a good thing you live on the other side of campus, these two aren’t exactly shy about it. I haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in over a week,” Kate says, taking a long drink from her Long Island Iced Tea.

“What?” I yell, suddenly mortified. Oh no!

“Oh you’re a screamer. Christian, please!” She says mockingly and entirely too loudly. “He must be pretty talented. I’m very happy for you.”

I feel my cheeks burn as I bury my face in my arms. I might die of embarrassment right here, right now.

“I’m kind of surprised honestly that you spend so much time with him and don’t think about what it would be like,” Kate says turning to Ros. “I mean, he’s an asshole but he’s really hot.”

“Not really my cup of tea,” Ros says with a laugh. “It’s more of a penis issue than a Christian issue though.”

“Oh my god, I totally forgot,” Kate says embarrassed. “Well, that must make it easier for the two of you to get work done. No sexual tension.”

“Nothing is easy with Christian,” She says rolling her eyes.

“How did you two meet?” I ask, glad the subject has turned away from my sex life. She takes a drink from her glass, draining half of it before answering.

“We met a few years ago at this young entrepreneur summit that they hold over the summer. It’s like camp but most of the attendants are sixteen or seventeen and they teach you about hedge funds instead of arts and crafts. Most kids get sent there because their rich parents are trying to push them to be successful, but Christian had signed himself up. While the other kids were off smoking weed and fucking by the lake, Christian was attending every seminar he could, taking diligent notes, and asking really insightful questions. That’s when I knew he was the real deal. He was going to be big someday, and so I hitched my wagon to his work horse and never looked back.”

“And he just said welcome aboard?” Kate asks.

“Hardly. He had a thorough background check done, whic, as a sixteen year old, was something I didn’t even know how to do, and he talked to all my friends and family for a character witness. I had three interviews with him before he finally let me in on his plans and even then it took over a year for him to really trust me. My dad is a big name in finance in San Francisco and when I was able to use his connections to get us a face to face meeting with Lloyd Blankfein, who is the CEO of Goldman Sachs, he knew I would be a big help. After that meeting, we started making our plans a reality.”

“And how’s that going?” Kate asks.

“It’s been rough, and I don’t think it’s going to happen as fast as Christian wants it to, but believe me when I tell you that one day, he’s going to be huge. He’s smart, and driven, and he always gets what he wants in the end. Take me for example. I wanted to go to Yale because the class size is smaller and I liked the campus. But Christian’s dad is a legacy at Harvard and it was important to him to go here, so here we are. Because Christian always gets what he wants in the end.”

“Yeah, Elliot always says Christian’s problem has never been ambition,” Kate says. “When did you guys meet?”

“We must have been about 16 or so,” Ros says. “Christian’s birthday is in June so he may have been 15 when we first met, 16 by the end of camp.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that’s just about the age where he turned around. Apparently he used to be a real terror for his parents, getting expelled for school and fighting and drinking all the time. But then right around 15 he just, calmed down.”

“He probably started getting laid,” Ros says with a shrug.

I feel an awful twinge of nausea in my stomach as I realize Ros is right, but not in the way she thinks she is. Christian was fifteen when he first started sleeping with Elena. When she lured him into a BDSM relationship and held him there with some kind of disgusting sex contract for years until he finally left her for me. I recall the months at the beginning of the school year before he broke it off with her, how tense he was all the time, like he’s been this week, but all the time. Nothing like the man I had in Aspen. Nothing like the man who swept me off my feet in Vegas. He wasn’t able to be anything then other than what she wanted him to be. He was always at her beck and call, forced to clear his schedule at her whim so he could take her beatings while he fucked her in all sorts of disturbing ways.

I feel a chill run over me as my train of thought catches up with me. He was forced to clear his schedule for her, just like he did this weekend. He’s been tense, like before. And he called her yesterday, and now she’s coming here. He wouldn’t… he couldn’t… could he? I’m suddenly winded, like I’ve been punched in the gut. I want to throw up as I think about the possibility.

“Are you okay, Ana?” Kate asks. I refocus on my surroundings and see both her and Ros staring at me worriedly.

“I’m fine,” I lie. “I just need a glass of water.”

Kate pushes my water towards me and I pound it down gratefully. It doesn’t change anything though because it’s not the alcohol that’s making me feel sick. It’s a deep, gut wrenching fear and now that I suspect what’s going on, it’s all I can think about.

“Let’s order another round,” I say quickly, wanting nothing more than to forget about this for a while so I can just enjoy this one night with Ros and Kate before I have to go back and confront Christian with this. Oh god, what am I going to do if I’m right?

“Are you sure?” Ros asks.

“Yes. I’m fine. Is tequila okay with you?” I ask as I quickly signal for the waitress.

The rest of the night passes in a blur of alcohol and dancing. I don’t know how much I’ve had to drink by the end of the night but I know it’s enough that I’m going to regret it tomorrow. As we leave the bar and Ros steps off the curb to hail us a cab home, I wonder if I should wait to sober up a little before I talk to Christian. I don’t know what I’ll say in this state, but since my inhibitions are lowered, it might be the perfect time. Would I be able to ask the questions I need to ask if I wasn’t fueled by liquid courage?

When the cab pulls up to the curb outside Grays, Kate and I both hug Ros, who is having the driver drop her off closer to her dorm, good-bye. We hold hands as we make our way to the front doors of Grays, Kate giggling as she recalls this fantastic night, but I only feel nervous as we approach our room. An uneasy feeling of dread is creeping over me as I realize I may be about to lose everything. It’s late though, he’s probably asleep. Do I wake him or should I wait until tomorrow? It might be better to have this argument once Kate is gone so I can have the weekend alone to fall apart in my room if it goes the way I suspect it might go.

“You coming in?” Kate asks when we get to the door. I shake my head and she rolls her eyes.

“Just remember that I need to you to take me to the airport in the morning. And keep it down, I need my beauty sleep,” She says. I glare at her as she disappears into our room and then begin digging through my bag for the key to Christian’s room.

I try to be quiet as I fiddle with the key in the lock but my hands are shaking. When I’m finally able to unlock the door, I turn the knob and expect to see Christian in bed, but to my surprise, I see him sitting at his desk typing on his computer with several textbooks open on the desk around him. What’s he doing still awake? It’s got to be after 1:30 AM by now.

“You’re back,” He says, a small smile crossing his lips as he sees me. I stumble forward, having to catch myself on the corner of his desk as I trip over a snag in the carpet and he frowns.

“How much have you had to drink tonight, Anastasia?” He asks.

“A lot,” I admit. His eyes harden as his face sets into a look of deep disapproval and I have to stop for a moment to search through the alcohol haze in my mind for the words I want to say. With a deep breath and tequila fueled courage, I ask the questions that’s been plaguing me all night.

“Are you planning to sleep with Elena Lincoln this weekend?”

“What?” He asks, his expression changing from anger to confusion.

“Are you planning to sleep with Elena Lincoln this weekend?” I repeat.

“No! God, no. Anastasia, what would possibly make you think that would be something I would even want to do?” He sounds genuinely shocked at the accusation and relief washes over me for a brief minute. I’m wrong. Thank god, I’m wrong. But that still doesn’t explain…

“You called her yesterday and now she’s coming her and you cleared your schedule with Ros for the whole weekend.”

“I cleared my schedule for the weekend because I thought after everything this week, you and I could use some time alone. So, I made plans.”

“But why would you call her?” I press him, and he takes a deep breath before answering.

“I knew about the ballet.” He says. “Elliot called me Wednesday afternoon to say mom had asked him to meet her here and he wanted to know if I was making hotel arrangements. I didn’t want Elena coming here, coming anywhere near you, but everything was set. This might have been the perfect time for her to do something that would drive you away from me so I called her to tell her that if she did anything, to you, to us, that if she didn’t stop trying to ruin the best thing I have ever had… I was going to tell my parents.”

“You’re going to tell your parents?” I ask surprised. His words carry so much weight I think I actually feel myself sober up a little. Through the muggy fog that clouds my brain I can actually have the realization of how big this is.

“Ana… coming out with this would have consequences. Ros and I are trying to start a business, something we’re already struggling with, and a high profile child molestation case isn’t exactly good PR. It’ll change everything. It’ll change the way my parents look at me and the way they think of me… and it would ruin her life forever. I don’t think that’s what I want, but I won’t let her destroy what we have. I won’t let her take you from me and if she’s going to force my hand, then… I’ll do it.”

“She’s not going to drive me away, Christian. I won’t let her come between us either,” I tell him, feeling an enormous sense of relief. “I love you.”

“You really thought I was going to sleep with her?” He asks, a disgusted note in his tone now.

“Well…”

“Ana, why would I ever want her when I have you? How could I ever want anything else?”

Heat rises within me at these words and I lunge across the space between us, resting my hands on the arms of his chair, and kiss him deeply. He’s taken by surprise for a moment and then returns my kiss with equal passion. I don’t know if it’s the alcohol or his declaration, but in this moment, I want him. I need him. I reach down for his fly as his hands entwine with my hair. I can feel him growing hard beneath my hands as I fumble with the button and zipper blocking me from my goal, and the moment I am able to free his erection, I fall to my knees.

My tongue runs once over my lips before I envelop him in my mouth, taking care to shield him from my teeth as I suck him hard.

“Whoa, Ana,” Christian gasps as he sits more erect in his chair. “Easy.”

I ignore him as I continue my pace, swirling my tongue around him each time I rise to the head of his erection. He inhales sharply and then relaxes back into his chair as he enjoys the pleasure I’m giving him. The sound of his moans and occasional gasps as I take him deep into my throat egg me on. I feel powerful, knowing that I’m making him come undone. All the times he’s taken me, taken charge until he’d brought me to orgasm, I want that. I want to be the one who unravels him.

“Ana, baby. Slow down. You’re going to make me come,” He says, through labored breath. I want to smile at the thought but I don’t want to be distracted.

“Please, Ana,” He pleads. “I don’t want to come in your mouth.”

Too bad, Grey. You’re not in control right now, I am. You’ll come when and where I want you to come.

“Stop!” He says firmly. I can feel how hard he is in my mouth and know he’s just on the edge of losing it. He reaches down and yanks me up from the floor, separating me from him, robbing me of my reward. But I’m not done yet. Not even close.

“Lay down on the bed,” I tell him.

“What?” He gasps, still breathing hard as he comes down from his high.

“I said lay down on the bed. I’m not going to ask you again.”

He looks at me suspiciously and hesitates for a moment but eventually he does as I say, pulling his t-shirt over his head before settling down onto the comforter. With slow, deliberate movements, I remove my jacket and carefully pull on the tie over my left shoulder that holds up the pearl colored blouse I’m wearing. Once the knot is undone, the top slinks down over my skin and jeans before billowing out over the floor around me. Christian watches my little strip tease with a heated gaze and when I turn around so that my backside is to him while I pull my jeans down, I glance over my shoulder and see that he is slowly stroking himself. It’s unbelievably hot.

I pull the chair to the side of the bed, just out of his reach, and take a seat. I’m still wearing my bra and panties and I want to tease him just a little bit more so I open my legs and lean back in the chair, pushing my breasts forward as I throw my head back and begin running my hand down my exposed skin.

“Don’t stop now, baby.” Christian says and I can hear the lustful need in his tone.

I sit up and remove both bra straps from my shoulders, letting them fall loosely over my arms while I reach back and undo the hooks with one hand while holding the cups to my breasts with the other. With agonizing slowness, I pull each of the straps off of my arms and then peel the cups away so that my breasts are exposed.

“Get over here,” He growls, and I smile wickedly at him. I stand and pull my panties over my behind, letting them fall to the round and then step out of them. He reaches out for me but I know that he will pull me onto the bed and roll over on top of me to have his wicked way with me, and I’m not ready to relinquish control just yet. Avoiding his grip, I move onto the bed, placing one knee on either side of each of his legs and then crawl over him to kiss him again. He moans with need into my mouth and I feel like I’m on fire, burning with desire, turned on by the power I have over him in this moment, knowing how badly he wants me. I reach down, grasp his erection and guide it to my entrance and then slowly sink onto him.

“Fuuuuck,” He breathes as I consume him. I rise up slightly and then ease down on him again and again, picking up the pace, my pace, as I go. I admire his beautiful face, his perfectly formed muscles, all pinioned beneath me as for the first time, I fuck him. He reaches up and grasps my breasts and while he rolls my nipples between his thumb and index finger, I drop all the way down on him so he is buried entirely inside of me and begin swirling my hips around. His mouth opens in an inaudible gasp of pleasure and as I move around and around I begin to feel the burgeoning sense of pleasure that signals my orgasm is approaching. I keep it at bay as best as I can as I want to make him come but, in that moment, I begin to rise and fall on top of him again and he cries my name as he comes violently inside of me, taking me with him. His hands grasp my hips as he thrusts up into me, causing my orgasm to go on and on, reaching every inch of my body and electrifying it with pleasure. I cry out, realizing in the back of my mind that Kate can probably hear me now, but I don’t care. All that exists right now is him and what we have together.

When I finally come down, I collapse on top of him and his arms wrap around me while I attempt to regain control of my breathing. I feel like I could fall asleep here in his arms but know we should probably move to a more comfortable position.

“We should get into bed.”

“We are in bed,” He says lamely, and I giggle.

“I meant under the covers,” I say.

“I love the sound of your giggle, Anastasia,” He says, moving his head and kissing my hair sweetly. With great effort, I pry myself off of him and shift so that we can both settle into the bed. The last thing I know, I’m nestling into his arms and drifting off to sleep.

Christian must be exhausted because he doesn’t wake up with his alarm the next morning and when I’m finally able to nudge him awake, he tells me to turn it off. I’m grateful because it means that I get more time with him and because I think a lot of his bad mood has to do with him only getting a few hours of sleep every night. When I sit up to turn the alarm off though, I feel a pounding in my head as a rush of nausea takes me. I have to scramble quickly out of bed and run to the bathroom, where I hurl a spectacular wave of clear liquid into the toilet.

Oh man, this is not good.

I sit on the cold bathroom floor for thirty minutes, periodically emptying my stomach of any residual alcohol, before I’m able to get up, brush my teeth, and slam down a glass of water. I take two Advil from a basket full of pill bottles Christian keeps on a shelf next to the mirror and amble back into bed feeling terrible and restless until Kate knocks on Christian’s door just after 7am, ready to go to the airport.

“Are you sure you’re okay to go?” Christian asks worriedly as he dresses for class.

“Yeah, I just have a headache now,” I say with a deep yawn. He hands me two more Advil, which I take gratefully, before I kiss him good-bye and follow Kate out to her car. Once I’ve made sure she got through security okay, I speed off for the nearest coffee shop, in desperate need of caffeine as I’ll barely have time to shower once I get home and have to start my dreaded Friday schedule.

The day drags on as I feel sluggish and jittery from the coffee. Once my headache fades away, I realize how exhausted I am from only getting a few hours sleep last night, and by the time I get to Business Writing, I feel like I’m ready to pass out. I lay my head down on the desk, wondering if I should just skip class today.

“Rough night at the bar?” Astor asks as he sits next to me.

“You could say that,” I reply with a yawn.

“I’m surprised Grey would be okay with you going out and drinking like that. That doesn’t seem like the kind of thing he’d approve of. You know… things that are fun.”

“If I only did the things he approves of, I wouldn’t be talking to you,” I quip as I try to shake myself awake a little and begin to pull out my supplies for class.

“Then I suppose I’m glad you’re a rebel,” He says with a smile. “What do you say we take it a step further and skip class? I’ll buy you a coffee.”

“Astor…” I say, annoyed. “Look, I have a boyfriend. I have boyfriend that doesn’t like you very much, and I think you know that, and I think you’re trying to get a rise out of him, and I don’t really appreciate it. I’ve spent way too much energy fighting with Christian about you this week and quite frankly, I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t really know why I bothered to do it in the first place. So, let’s not talk. Let’s not do anything because I’m not your girlfriend. I’m not even your friend. And quite frankly, Jurassic Park sucks.”

“You’re cranky when you’re tired,” He says, grinning as he turns to look at the professor, who is calling for everyone’s attention up front. I roll my eyes and do my best not to fall asleep for the remainder of the class.

When we’ve been assigned our homework for the weekend and dismissed, I make a beeline for the door and pull out my phone to text Christian. I really hope he doesn’t want to go to dinner right now. All I want to do, is go to bed.

Hey on my way back to Grays. Are you there?

Yes, and I have a surprise for you.

I groan as I think about having to stay awake any longer. I really hope he doesn’t want sex, I definitely couldn’t handle that right now.

When I get to Grays I wrench open the front door and sluggishly haul myself up the stairs to the third floor. I don’t want to waste the effort of finding Christian’s key in my bag so I simply knock on the door and in a second, it flies open.

“Are you ready?” He asks excitedly.

“Ready for what?” I yawn.

He pulls open the door wider and I see two travel sized suitcases, one of which I recognize as my own purple one.

“What is this?” I ask.

“I’ve booked us somewhere for the weekend. Just you and me,” He says.

“I can’t,” I groan. “I’m so tired.”

“So sleep in the car.”

“The car? Wait, where did you book us?”

“That’s part of the surprise. We’re there until Monday.”

“Christian, I have homework.”

“Bring it with you.”

I exhale with exasperation and stare at him pointedly. “Is there anything I can say that you won’t have a counter for?”

“Nope,” He says with a smile. I roll my eyes and reach out for my suitcase. He laughs and takes my outstretched hand, pulling both suitcases out of the room after him and then turning to lock his door. I follow slowly in his wake as we make our way out to the Audi. We don’t even make it out of the parking lot before I’m asleep.

“Hey,” Christian’s voice says softly, pulling me from the darkness of a dreamless sleep. I look around and the first thing I notice is that it’s almost completely dark outside the car. We’re surrounded by snow capped trees and in front of us there is a large building with a smoking chimney standing in front of a dozen or so cozy looking cottages scattered about the grounds over a blanket of thick, white snow.

“Where are we?” I ask, confused.

“Vermont,” He says. “I found this place online and I thought you’d like it.”

I look around again at our surroundings, taking in the storybook appearance of it all as Christian climbs excitedly out of the driver’s seat and walks around to open my door. I take the hand he offers me and together we walk into the main office where we are given a set of keys and a cabin number. Christian hands the plump woman behind the desk his credit card for the weekend and then leads me from the main building to a small cottage tucked in an isolated area of trees.

“I’ll get our bags,” He says. “Make yourself comfortable.”

He disappears through the door as I examine the room around me. The cabin has only one room with a small bathroom off the far wall. The walls and floor are made of the same rich tinted wood and on the wall to my right there is a huge stone fireplace with a furry rug laid across the floor in front of it. On the other side of the rug is a comfortable looking couch facing a TV on a stand filled with DVDs. To my left is a huge king sized bed with a fluffy down comforter, a quilt and several overstuffed down pillows. And besides the mini fridge on the right, next to the front door, and a bookshelf next to the window, that’s it. Just a single room and the prospect is immediately relaxing. A weekend alone here with Christian is exactly what I need.

“What do you think?” Christian asks, as he steps inside with our suitcases and what looks like a paper take out bag hooked over his arm. When did he get that? Man, I must have really been out of it.

“I love it,” I say with a smile. He smiles back and leads me over to the bed so we can unpack.

“How did you get my bag?” I ask as he sets my suitcase on the bed for me.

“I took your key off your ring after you fell asleep last night and grabbed it when I got out of class this afternoon. I hope you don’t mind that I picked out some clothes for you,” He says, moving over to the fireplace to start a fire, which I’m glad for as the room is slightly drafty.

“No, I don’t mind,” I tell him, though I am suddenly nervous about what I’m going to find in this suitcase. I really hope there are actually clothes in here. I open the suitcase and on top of a familiar pile of pajamas, leggings, oversized sweaters, and warm socks, is a stiff pink bag with the name of a French store scribbled across the front in a loopy font. I reach into the bag and pull out something black, sheer, and covered in a soft, fine lace.

“Funny, I don’t remember this being in any of my drawers,” I say pointedly. He looks back at me and smiles.

“Oh, no. I put that in there,” He says grinning lasciviously as the fire beneath the hearth begins to grow steadily to a soft, warm glow. “A man has dreams, Anastasia.”

I roll my eyes and shove the lingerie back into the bag and stuff it into my suitcase. Everything else here looks good though, and I strip out of my jeans and t-shirt in favor of a pair of pajamas. Inspiration strikes me as I pull on a pair of leggings and I turn to Christian’s suitcase and take out one of his t-shirts and slip it on.

“You didn’t like your own clothes?” He asks when I sit on the couch and pull on a pair of thick, warm socks.

“I like this better,” I tell him. He smiles and comes to sit on the couch next to me, pulling cartons of take-out Chinese food out of the brown paper bag he brought in with him. I give him a thankful glance as I dig into my carton and he turns on a classic, black and white movie. Casablanca.

“I love this movie,” I tell him, as I cuddle up next to him on the couch with my carton of Chinese food. “Kate and I watch a ton of old movies together whenever we’re bored or sad. Mostly Gone with the Wind. Scarlett O’Hara is Kate’s hero.”

“Scarlett O’Hara? But she’s dumb… and annoying. Oh, I guess for Kate that makes sense,” He says jokingly. I frown at him, and elbow him gently in the ribs, and he laughs.

“She was a very feminist character for her time. She uses men to get what she needs for her and her family’s survival, she went into business for herself, and she even denied her husband sex because she loved another man. She could have been imprisoned for that at the time.”

“She also owned slaves.”

“Well, there’s that,” I admit with a laugh, and then cuddle back into him to focus back on the movie. About half way through, I decide I want to crawl into the inviting looking bed, but Christian has other ideas. He has me lie on the bed over the blanket and proceeds to give me a deeply relaxing warming oil massage while I listen to Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman. I’m in heaven as I slowly drift off and just before I’m completely lost to the world I hear him whisper, “I love you, Anastasia,” And his lips press gently into my hair.

Next Chapter

 

“Ana!” Kate calls, waving me over to her table. I smile and walk in her direction, clutching to the tray of food I’m desperate to inhale. My Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule sucks this semester and every time I find a break in the day, I’m starving.

As I approach the table, I can see that Ros is sitting with her. I look around, first at the table and then behind me where the food is being served, to see if I can see Christian but I don’t. Taking a seat next to Ros at the table, I find myself disappointed. I haven’t seen him since our fight last night and he hasn’t answered any of my texts this morning. When I decided not to stay with him last night, I was angry but I didn’t get much sleep being alone in my bed all night. I think I’m growing accustomed to having him next to me.

“Where’s Christian?” I ask, taking a bite of the sub sandwich on my plate.

“Hopefully taking a nap,” Ros says bitterly. “He’s been hell on wheels all day. I don’t know if he had a shitty workout this morning or if he just got up on the wrong side of the bed, but he’s got a bad attitude today.”

“He and Ana are fighting,” Kate says through a mouthful of salad. “I saw him in the gym this morning with his kickboxing trainer, it looked like he was trying to kill him.”

Ros turns and glares at me. “My life is plenty difficult with Christian as it is.”

“Hey, he started it. All I did was help Astor as an employee of the library and ask him a question he didn’t like.”

“What question?” Kate asks.

“Uh…” I stutter. Crap. Way to open your big mouth, Anastasia. “I don’t even remember it was so stupid. He’s overreacting.”

“He does that,” Ros nods in agreement. “We have work to do tonight, so if you can make up with him before then, I’d appreciate it.”

“I’ll do what I can,” I tell her and she smiles.

“Hey, Ros. Ana and I were thinking about going out tomorrow night, having a girl’s night on the town. Do you want to come?” Kate asks, and Ros looks back at her astonished before her face melts into a look of simultaneous relief and unbridled joy.

“Oh my god, yes! Kate, you have no idea how much I need that! I haven’t done anything that didn’t involve work in so long. I can’t even remember the last time I had a night out.”

“Great! There’s a bar in town that a girl in my Media Writing class told me doesn’t card pretty girls. So I was thinking we could get dressed up and go down there, what do you guys think?”

“Sounds great!” Ros says. I nod but am hesitant. Vegas is one thing but I really don’t want to get caught in a bar here…

Kate asks Ros about things to do in San Francisco for her weekend with Elliot and Ros does her best to respond between the constant string of interruptions from her iPhone. I look over and frown when I see that every one of them is coming from Christian. So he’s texting her and not me? Why?

When lunch is over, I hug both Kate and Ros good-bye and head off to my class, texting Christian again as I walk.

Hey, I heard you’re having a rough day. I’m sorry. We can talk tonight? I can stay over if you want.

When I get to my Fiction Writing class, I’m staring down at my phone, waiting for Christian’s response to come back, but by the time the professor starts class, I still haven’t gotten anything. Christian’s silence continues throughout the day and when I get to Business Writing that afternoon, I’m both worried and aggravated. How much effort does it take to text back Yes or No?

I pull out my notebook and pen to take notes in class and Astor takes the seat next to me.

“You lied to me,” He accuses me, and I turn and look at him, confused.

“What are you talking about?”

“You said Grey wasn’t dull because he flew Helicopters. Well, I started reading that book he suggested last night and it’s better napping material than anything else. I was imagining flying like, weaving through buildings in a city with like guns and explosions and stuff. This was more like, make sure the oil temperature is right. Dullsville, Ana.”

“Well not every book can be Jurassic Park,” I say rolling my eyes.

“Truer words,” He says, and I laugh as the professor begins class. We spend the first half hour taking notes on what makes a great resume and then break off into our study groups to come up with lists of keywords we can incorporate into our attributes sections. Astor, Carter, Aiden, and I group together and they take the assignment seriously for approximately thirty seconds before they devolve into laughter.

“Most Awesome,” Aiden says, writing the words on his paper in large, capital letters.

“Strikingly Handsome,” Carter says.

“Come on you guys,” I say, though I can’t keep the smile off my face. “Be serious.”

“Oh we’re serious, Ana,” Astor says, and he nods to Carter. “Look at him, he really is strikingly handsome.”

I roll my eyes and Astor’s face breaks into a smile.

“You’re turn, then. Come on guys, what keywords can Ana put under attributes? Nerd, perhaps?”

“Uptight,” Aiden says, with a mocking look of careful consideration.

“Horrible taste in men,” Carter adds.

“I dated you, strikingly handsome,” I retort, adding his attribute sarcastically and trying to hold back laughter.

“Yeah but Grey though,” Astor adds, and Carter nods in agreement. I shake my head with exasperation.

“Then you come up with one, Ana,” Aiden says.

I stare between them and then laugh and write down: Practically perfect in every way.

“Okay, Mary Poppins,” Astor laughs, and I nudge him as we finally are able to get to work.

When class is over, I finally have a text back from Christian though it isn’t a response to anything I’ve said to him.

Ros and I are at Annenberg. Kate is on the way.

I let out of huff of frustration but put my phone away walk out of class to meet them.

“Are you on your way to Annenberg?” Astor asks.

“Yes.”

“Need a dinner date?”

“No, I’ve got one thanks. I’m meeting my boyfriend,” I reply, emphasizing the word boyfriend to try and drive home the point. He just nods and begins asking me about my other classes.

When we reach Annenberg, the first thing I see is Christian and Ros standing off to the side of the door arguing about something. I feel relieved when I see him, realizing now how anxious I’ve been all day being away from him, but I’m also nervous. He looks mad and with what we have to talk about, I’d rather he was in a decent mood.

He looks up and sees me walking up the path. His eyes narrow and a muscle in his jaw tightens when he notices who is with me. I tell Astor I’ll talk to him later, wave goodbye, and then walk over to Christian and Ros.

“You’re just going to have to deal with it, Christian. I’m not arguing with you anymore, this is so fucking stupid,” Ros snaps as she turns to storm away. “Oh, hi, Ana.”

“Hi, Ros,” I say, smiling hesitantly.

“I’ll see you inside,” She says pleasantly, but then turns to glare at Christian one last time. I watch her leave then then turn to Christian.

“Astor and I just got out of the same class and we were going to the same place,” I tell him, heading off the argument before it can start.

“Why does it have to be him?” He demands. “Jesus, Ana. Out of everyone on this campus, why does it have to be him?”

“We’re not even really friends, Christian,” I say defensively. “We have a class together and I can’t help that.”

“And your plans for Thursday night? You’re going to a bar with Kate and Ros?” He adds disapprovingly.

“Yes, I need a girl’s night and it’s what Kate wants to do before she leaves on Friday. Her friend said they don’t card there.”

“They don’t card because they want young, hot girls to fuck their male clientele who are buying drinks,” He growls.

“You didn’t seem to care about sneaking into a bar when you were with me at Chateau in Vegas just a few weeks ago.”

“Exactly! I was with you! And that just reiterates my point. You started drinking and I fucked you that night.”

“Christian, that’s completely different! I didn’t just…” I begin, feeling myself becoming more and more angry as I speak but he holds a hand out in a gesture to stop me.

“Look, it’s been a really shitty day, Ana. I had a rough night last night and have been pissed off all day. I don’t want to take it out on you so… let’s just go eat. I’ve got to leave soon anyway.”

I let out a sigh of frustration but nod and he looks at me as if he’s torn for a moment before pulling me into him and capturing my lips with his in a tender but needy kiss. I kiss him back, feeling relieved by the diminishing tension between us in this sweet but unexpected moment of intimacy. Despite my feelings of anger towards him, my body responds to his touch with warm delight and I’m glad for it as it reminds me why I’m putting up with this. I love him. There are obstacles for us, things we need to work out as we get to know and trust each other, but I love him. This will all be worth it in the end because he is worth it.

“I hate fighting with you,” He whispers when we finally pull apart.

“I know, me too,” I reply. He exhales and entwines his fingers with mine, and together we walk together into the dining hall. In the time elapsed during my spat with Christian outside, Kate and Ros have already gotten dinner and found a table, so Christian and I leave our stuff with them and hurry off to grab food. I make myself a salad, but decide I need one of the decadent fudgy brownies stacked on the dessert station. When I’m ready to head back to the table, I turn to look for Christian, but he’s talking with someone across the room. I wait for a moment but it looks like they’re going to be a while, so I wave to get his attention and motion that I’m going back to the table. He nods at me and I set off to join Kate and Ros.

“What took you so long?” Kate asks as I sit down.

“Just…” I start, but I don’t really want to get into it right now so I stop.

“He’s been in a bad mood all day, Ana. It’s not you,” Ros says reassuringly. I smile at her and begin to eat my salad when Christian’s Blackberry buzzes on the table next to me. Ros’ head shoots up immediately before turning to look for Christian.

“Who is that?” She asks.

I look down at the phone and read the screen. “I don’t know, it’s just a number. (212) 736-3108.”

She waives her hand over for the phone, jumping up out of her seat so I hand it to her quickly.

“This is Rosaline Bailey,” She answers, her tone even and professional. “Yes, thank you for returning our call Mr. Goldhirsch. I’m sorry, let me just step outside so I can hear you better.”

She weaves her way out of the room and the moment she disappears through the doors to Annenberg, Christian appears next to me and reaches for his bag.

“I’m out of time. I have to go,” He says hurriedly. “We’ll talk tonight?”

“Yeah, bu-” I begin but he silences me with a quick good-bye kiss.

“I’ll call you when I get back,” He says as he turns to leave.

“No, you won’t,” I say turning back to my food.

“He’ll figure it out,” Kate says. “It’s not like he won’t be able to find you ten feet from his door.”

“I know. Hey, how are your classes going? I feel like I don’t know your life anymore.”

“They’re fine,” Kate says with a laugh. “I would kill for your Tuesday/Thursday schedule though. I have so much to do and no time to do it.”

“Ha, all that free time is taken over by a 6 hour shift in the library.” I tell her. “How’s Elliot?”

“He’s great. I hate that he has a whole other year at Stanford but he says when he starts looking for jobs, he’s going to try to find one in Boston.”

“That will be awesome! Except, I’ll lose my roommate.” I add disappointedly.

“Please, you’ll be married to Christian by then,” She replies, and I laugh and roll my eyes.

“Where’s Christian?” Ros asks, suddenly appearing next to the table.

“Uh… He left,” I tell her.

“Fuck.” She hisses.

“Bad news?”

“Devastating. Look, I’ve got to get back to my dorm and see if there is anything I can do to fix this which means that I’m not going to be able to meet Christian tonight and he’s going to be pissed. I’ll email him when I get back to my dorm and let him know. Can you give this back to him?” She asks, handing me Christian’s Blackberry.

“Yes,” I tell her, and she darts away again.

“I wonder what that was?” Kate asks.

“Business stuff,” I reply with a shrug. We finish dinner and head back to Grays to begin tackling our homework. I pull out the books I need and wait anxiously for my computer to decide to start up. When it eventually groans to life, I pull up my email program and find I have an email from Carter.

From: Carter Reed

Subject: Business Writing

Date: January 17th 2008 05:37 PM

To: Anastasia Steele

CC: Aiden Murphy; Astor Harrington

Hey guys, I heard that the first part of our portfolio is due next week with our resumes. I’m going out of town this weekend so I won’t be able to meet for any reviews. Any chance we can get together sometime during the week?

-Carter

I hit reply.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: Business Writing Study Group

Date: January 17th 2008 06:32 PM

To: Carter Reed

CC: Aiden Murphey; Astor Harrington

I’m available for an hour before class on Wednesday or Friday and Thursday night. Let me know.

-Ana

I pull out John Milton’s Paradise Lost and begin taking notes on the reading until I am interrupted by the buzzing of Christian’s Blackberry on my bedspread. It’s Grace, so I decide to answer it.

“Hi, Grace. It’s Ana,” I say brightly.

“Hello, Ana! How are you dear?”

“I’m doing great! Just working on some homework until Christian gets back.”

“Oh that right, he’s in therapy right now. Did he forget his phone?”

“Yeah, he left it at dinner but I grabbed it to hang onto until he gets back.”

“Well that’s good. How’s Kate?”

“She’s doing well, she’s excited to see Elliot this weekend.”

“I’m sure she is. I’ll call her later in the week to wish her a safe flight, but will you tell her for me that Carrick and I love and miss her terribly and hope that she has a wonderful time in San Francisco?”

“I sure will.”

“Thank you, dear, and of course we’re looking forward to seeing you again very soon.”

“Me too.”

“Okay, well you have a wonderful evening, Ana, and have Christian call me when he gets back.”

“I will.”

“Bye, Ana.”

“Bye.”

I hang up the phone and am going to give Kate Grace’s message, but nearly the second I hit the end button, the phone buzzes again. I look down and see the very unwelcome Mrs. Lincoln flash across the screen.

“I’ll be right back, Kate,” I tell her as I jump off the bed and hurry into the hall.

“Okay…” Kate says, eyeing me suspiciously.

I step out into the hallway and answer the phone.

“Seriously? What’s it going to take with you?” I spit into the phone. “He doesn’t want to talk to you. Stop calling him.”

“Ana, what an unpleasant surprise,” Elena says disdainfully.

“I can say the exact same for you. Stop calling my boyfriend.”

“I hate to tell you this, dear, but I’m only returning his call.”

“You’re so pathetic,” I snarl.

“I really don’t have time for this, just give the phone to Christian.”

“He isn’t here right now.”

“Please, Anastasia. You’re insulting my intelligence. He always has his phone on him, it’s one of the rule—” She says, though her voice cuts off as she realizes what she’s about to say.

“You’re disgusting. Stop. Calling,” I snap,and hang up the phone, feeling rage burning through me. I viscerally hate this woman. It takes me a minute to calm down and when I finally do, I turn to go back into my room but find myself hesitating. Doubt begins to creep into my mind as I think about what she said.

I’m only returning his call.

Slowly, guiltily, I look down at the phone and look into Christian’s call log. Bile creeps into my throat as, sure enough, I see:

Outgoing: Mrs. Lincoln 2:34 PM 00:03

“Ana?” I hear Christian’s hesitant voice say behind me. I turn to face him, feeling the anger from earlier compounding upon this new feeling of betrayal. “Oh, you found my pho-“

“Why would you call her?” I ask in a low, barely controlled voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Elena. Why would you call her?”

“You went through my phone?” He replies, anger rising in his voice now. My eyes narrow and I hurl the Blackberry at him, which bounces off his arm and skitters across the floor of the hallway as I move towards my door.

“Ana!” Christian calls to stop me.

“Don’t Ana me, Christian Grey. I’m so beyond pissed right now, I just..” I can’t even finish the sentence as I worry it will turn into a screaming match in the middle of the hallway and I don’t really feel like putting on a show for everyone. I open the door and slam it closed behind me leaving Christian standing dumbfounded in the hallway.

“What’s wrong?” Kate asks with alarm.

“I can’t do this,” I cry, collapsing to the ground and leaning against the door.

“Ana,” She says sympathetically. She crosses the room and sits on the ground, wrapping her arms around me. She holds me for a moment, rubbing her hand over my arm reassuringly, until I get the irrational tears under control. “You need to go talk to him,” She says. “Whatever is going on between the two of you is just getting worse because you’re not talking.”

“I know, but I can’t right now. I need some time alone.”

“Do you want to go get some ice-cream?” She asks.

“No, I think I’m just going to go to bed.”

“Okay, let me know if I can get you anything.” She says. I nod and peel myself off the floor and shuffle over to my bed, tossing my books and laptop on the floor and crawling under the blankets. Hours pass until I’m finally able to fall asleep and when I do, I’m still restless. Perhaps that’s why I’m stirred awake by a gentle knock on my door in the middle of the night.

I stare at the door for a minute, wonder if I really heard it but when the sound comes again a few seconds later, I roll out of bed to answer it. When I open the door, Christian is standing there looking ashen and covered in a sheen of sweat, he’s shaking.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“Please come sleep next to me,” He croaks. I nod quickly and reach around the door for my bathrobe and pull it over me. He looks relieved though still shaken as we cross over to his room and he immediately tugs me into his arms and leads me to his bed.

“I know you’re mad at me,” He whispers, his voice still uneven. “I just need to hold you for a while.”

“Are you okay? You’re shaking,” I ask, worriedly. He nods and leans in to kiss me. The urgent need of this kiss frightens me as I worry what has happened. Was it another nightmare? Guilt washes through me as I remember him telling me he doesn’t have nightmares when I sleep next to him and so I kiss him back willingly, allowing his tongue access to my mouth.

“I love you, Ana,” He whispers. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Christian,” I tell him, taking care to look him deeply in the eyes as I do. “Even when I’m mad at you.”

He kisses me again, though this time, his hands brush up my sides and over my breasts. I feel his fingers tug at the neckline of my cami as he releases my breast and I realize what he’s doing.

“Christian…” I say hesitantly, unsure if this is a good idea for where we are right now.

“Please, Ana,” He pleads as his lips move to the skin of my neck. “I need to.”

I look down at him, seeing the memory of fear still lingering in his eyes and feel my hesitation overpowered by my concern. I can’t bear to see him like this and if I can take his hurt away…

Quickly, I lean into him and mold my lips to his, reveling in his answering moan as his fingers move into my hair to hold me in place. Our tongues dance together as he rolls over on top of me and moves his hands to explore the rest of my body. Eventually, his patience evaporates and he pulls down my pajama bottoms and finds me ready for him.

“Oh, Ana,” He moans as he slips a finger inside of me. I moan and I as I do his teeth sink into my bottom lip.

“I need you, now,” He says again.

“Then take me,” I whisper. He shifts slightly and I wait impatiently until I feel him pressing against me. He swirls the tip of his erection around my opening to lubricate himself and then plunges inside of me. I gasp at the sudden ferocity of his movements as he strokes in and out of me with quick, hard thrusts, giving me no time to adjust to his size. It’s slightly painful but somehow that pain only intensifies the pleasure, and it takes no time at all before I’m lost in this moment with him

“Be quick, baby,” He says. I moan, already feeling the deep sensation of pleasure building within me. Holy fuck, this is so fast. I haven’t even really got to enjoy him yet.

“No, Christian,” I moan, trying to squirm away from him but failing as he reaches down and holds me in place.

“Yes, Ana,” He says fiercely. “Come on, baby, I need this. Give it to me.”

His fingers loosen their grip on my arms and make their way down to my clitoris and the sensation of his fingers swirling slow, sensual circles around the most sensitive part of my body coupled with his hard, relentless thrusts inside of me cause me to explode. I can’t hold back the cry of pleasure as I come around him.

“Oh, yes!” He hisses as if he’s been overcome by an enormous sense of relief and he too climaxes deep inside of me. He collapses on the bed next to me and the next few minutes are filled only with the sounds of our synchronized, heavy breathing. I’m exhausted and I have no idea what time it is. His phone is on the nightstand so I reach over and push a button to illuminate the screen and see that it’s nearly 3 AM. I groan and feel his arms wrap around me.

“Sleep, baby,” He whispers and I oblige without hesitation. My body relaxes in the warmth of his arms and I drift into a deep, restful sleep that I haven’t experienced since the last time I slept with him wrapped around me.

I think I hear Christian’s alarm sound not too long after I drift off, but he turns it off quickly and I’m able to fall back asleep. In fact, by the time I really awaken, light is streaming into the room and I find myself completely alone, which means he must have come back from the gym, showered, and left for class already. His phone is gone and mine is still on my own nightstand so I have no idea what time it is.

Scrambling out of bed as quickly as possible, I dress in the pajamas on the ground next to Christian’s bed and hurry across the hall. My phone tells me that I only have 15 minutes to get to class so I change into a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and jacket, throw my hair into a ponytail and gather my things before flying out the door. I only just remember to use the key Christian gave me to lock his room as well as mine, and then I hurry off to class. I’m halfway across campus when my phone alarm goes off, telling me it’s time to take my birth control so I have to take a detour to a water fountain to wash down a pill which ends up making me late for class.

My whole day feels rushed. I’m going out with Kate and Ros tonight so I decide to use the hour between my class and work to shower and change rather than eat lunch. Kate’s make-up case is open on the bathroom counter so I do my best to imitate what I’ve watched her do to me dozens of times and, although it doesn’t come out as perfectly as it does when she does it, it looks pretty good. I roll my hair into a messy bun with a sock Kate keeps in a plastic case with her hair ties and change into a nicer pair of jeans, a shimmery pearl colored top, and a black sweater. I throw Christian’s leather jacket on rather than my winter coat and dash out the door so I won’t be late for work.

When I get to the library and get settled in, I realize I’ve left my phone in my dorm, which is awful both because it’s slow again today and I’ll have nothing to help me pass the time, and because I haven’t gotten to speak with Christian yet today. I want to know how he’s doing after last night.

I spend my entire shift sitting at the circulation desk, watching people coming in and out the front doors and periodically helping students check out books. Eventually, I decide to find something to read and end up losing myself in Emma until I’m interrupted by the sound of heavy books falling on the counter in front of me.

“You look nice today,” A familiar voice says in conjunction with the loud thudding of books. I look up to see Astor smiling down at me.

“Thanks. I’m going out tonight,” I say, as I take his student ID and begin scanning books for him.

“Date night?”

“Girls night,” I correct him.

“I see. You haven’t responded to my email,” He says.

“I haven’t had time to check email today.”

“Well, I was responding to your study date proposal.”

“It’s not a date, Astor. It’s a study group.”

“Semantics,” He shrugs. “I was thinking we could have dinner next week. Go over our portfolios over a meal. My treat.”

“I can’t go out to dinner with you, Astor,” I say exasperatedly. “You’re not going to trick me into going on a date with you, I have a boyfriend.”

“It’s not a date, Anastasia. I don’t make it a habit of bringing two other guys on a dates with me and Aiden and Carter will be there.”

I stare at him suspiciously for a moment and then sigh.

“Coffee,” I tell him. “We can meet at that coffee shop off campus and go over our portfolio there.”

“Great,” He says brightly. “Next Thursday night after you get off work?”

“Sure,” I shrug, handing him back his ID and the books. He smiles as he takes them from me.

“It’s a date then,” He says, and he walks away.

“It’s not a date!” I yell after him, though I regret it immediately as, when I look up, I can see Kate, Ros, and Christian standing at the door. Christian glares murderously at Astor as he passes by him. I wonder if Astor did that on purpose, knowing Christian was standing there. I feel a sense of dread course over me as Kate and Ros come over to me but Christian doesn’t move. Oh no, I really don’t want to do this with him again.

“You left this on the bathroom counter,” Kate says, handing me my phone, and I smile gratefully at her.

“Ready?” Ros asks brightly, obviously elated to be going out instead of working with Christian tonight.

“Yeah, just let me tell my boss,” I say. I let Ryan know I’m leaving and then grab Christian’s jacket from a coat hook in the main office. When I return to shutdown my computer, Ros is bouncing up and down with excitement and Kate is reaching into her jacket to pull out her phone.

“Hi, Grace.” She says. “Yep, I’m all set to go.”

Kate holds a finger out telling us she’ll be one minute so once the computer screen goes black and I take a deep breath and walk over to Christian.

“Hi,” I say hesitantly.

“Hello,” He replies coolly.

“Look,” I begin, stepping close to him and lowering my voice so Ros can’t hear what I’m saying. “I get it, okay. Astor is kind of a dick and I think he’s doing this to get a rise out of you. I can see that now and I’ll keep that in mind. We’re not friends. We’re not anything, just two people who happen to be taking the same class, okay? You don’t have to worry about him. I love you, Christian. You’re the only thing I want in the entire world.”

“How come you haven’t answered any of my texts or calls all day?”

“I left my phone in my dorm,” I tell him. He exhales irritably, but nods his head. Before I can say anything else, though, Kate walks up to us.

“Your mom wants to talk to you,” She says, holding her phone out to him. Christian looks down at it hesitantly before taking a deep breath and taking the phone from her and walking away from us to talk.

“What is that about?” Kate asks.

“He’s avoiding his mom’s calls,” I tell her, my gaze still focused on Christian as he paces back and forth in front of the library door.

“I know, she said that. I mean why?”

I shrug, unable to tell her the real reason and watch as Christian walks back to us looking angry.

“What’s wrong?” I ask.

“My parents are coming next week,” He says.

“Really?” Kate asks excitedly. “I wonder if that means Elliot will come?”

“He will,” Christian says darkly. “They all will. Mr. Lincoln will be here on business this week and he’s bought everyone tickets to a ballet in Boston my mom has been dying to see.”

“Mr. Lincoln?” I ask hesitantly and Christian’s eyes darken as he looks at me. I swallow hard as I feel my throat tighten. I know what comes with Mr. Lincoln and we’ve only had a couple weeks away from the bitch troll. I thought we’d get at least until spring break….

“Let’s go!” Ros whines behind us and I feel Kate’s excitement begin to bubble up next to me. She doesn’t have an overwhelming sense of dread at the news of Elena’s eminent arrival.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” Christian asks, and both Kate and Ros begin to hurry my forward.

“If you want me to,” I tell him.

“I always want you to,” He replies.

I’m able to squirm away from Kate and Ros just long enough to kiss Christian good-bye before they’re pulling me out the door again, leaving Christian standing alone in the entrance of the library watching us disappear into the night.

Next Chapter

The next morning, I’m awoken by the shrill screech of Christian’s alarm. I open my eyes begrudgingly to look at the Blackberry, now too brightly illuminated, that is vibrating furiously against wood of Christian’s side table. It’s 4:45 in the morning. I groan as I feel Christian lean over me to turn off his alarm.

“Good morning,” He says, kissing me on the cheek. I moan disapprovingly and feel him smile against my skin. “Want to come to the gym with me?”

“That sounds like end of the world,” I mumble sleepily.

“What time is your first class?” He asks.

“Ten.”

“Then I’ll be back a little after 6:30 and we can get breakfast.”

“Still too early,” I pout. “I’ll go get in my bed so you don’t wake me up when you get back.”

“I’ll be quiet,” He says diplomatically.

“But then you’ll leave. I won’t be able to lock up once I go to class,” I reply. He frowns but nods.

“Meet me for lunch at 12:30?”

“I’ll be at work,” I say with a yawn. “I have to work from 12-6 today.”

“Dinner then,” He says. I nod and he leans down to kiss me. Once he’s changed into a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, I force myself out of bed and drag my feet out of the room after him.

“I love you,” He says, with a last kiss good-bye. I return the sentiment and shamble like a zombie into my own room.

Kate is still asleep and doesn’t stir awake at the light pouring in from the hallway, so I close the door behind me as silently as I can, creep into my own bed, and drift back off to sleep. When I do eventually wake for the day, it’s at a much more practical hour of 8:30 and sunlight is peeking through the curtains on my window. I sit up just as Kate comes out of the bathroom wrapped in an oversized yellow towel.

“I didn’t think I’d see you here this morning?” She says when she sees that I am awake. “I thought you spent the night with Christian?”

“I did. He wakes up at 4:45 in the morning to go to the gym.”

“See, and you always said I was bad for getting up at 6:30.”

“You both are going to give me a complex,” I say, yawning. An alarm on my phone goes off telling me to take my birth control, so I reach over to turn it off and get out of bed in search of my bag. After a quick shower and breakfast with Kate, I head to my only class for the day and then it’s off to work.

The library is dead in the middle of the afternoon this early in the semester, so I spend most of my shift sitting at the counter staring at the clock before I’m finally given some books to re-shelf. As quietly as possible, I push the squeaking cart to the elevator and make my way to each floor to deposit the books. I dawdle on the third floor where all the economics books are stored, moving as slowly as possible in case Christian and Ros make an appearance.

“Excuse me, Miss? I wonder if… Oh,” Astor’s voice is surprised when I turn around to face him. “Ana, I didn’t know this is where you worked.”

“Yeah, what can I help you with?” I ask, putting the last book from my cart on the shelf.

“I’m looking for this book,” He says, handing me a piece of paper.

“Laws of Commercial Transactions in a World Economy,” I say, reading the title off the paper. I check the call number listed on the paper and realize he’s in the wrong section, “It’s actually over in International Law, not Economics. I’ll show you.”

I push the cart out of the aisle and against a wall, and lead Astor to the far back corner of the third floor. I have to pull up a step stool to reach the right shelf, but as I scan the titles on the spines, I don’t see what I’m looking for.

“Hmm, I’m going to have to go down to the computer and make sure it’s still in,” I say.

“Lead the way,” Astor says with a smile. I press my lips together in an I have to smile because I’m at work kind of way and set off back across the floor to the elevator. Once the doors open, I slip inside and press the G button that will take us to the Ground Level.

“I saw you eating dinner with Christian Grey last night,” Astor says.

“He’s my boyfriend,” I reply staring at the numbers above the door signaling the passing floors.

“Really? I thought he was dating Rosaline Bailey? I’ve never seen them apart.”

“They’re starting a business together,” I tell him curtly.

“Figures. That’s all he really seems to care about. Is he really as uptight and dull as he seems?” He asks. I glare at him and he holds his hands in front of him conciliatory. “He,y the only time I ever see or talk to him, he’s just an insufferable know-it-all who argues with everything anyone says.”

“He’s hardly dull,” I say in Christian’s defense.

“Okay, I’ll bite. What does he do that keeps him from being the most boring person on the planet?” Astor asks. I give him a why do you care look and he continues. “I spend a lot of time with the guy and he hates me. Give me something to bond with him over.” I sigh and speak begrudgingly.

“Well, he’s captain of the rowing team. They’re really good, people are saying they might go to the Olympics next year. And, he’s just started flying school. He’s learning to fly helicopters.”

“Really? Well, that’s a lot more interesting than I gave him credit for. What about you? What do you do when you’re not here?”

“I don’t know, I read mostly. My roommate is my best friend and we spend a lot of time together and…” My words cut off as a huge smile breaks across my face and I feel my cheeks begin to burn as I think of the other, rather new extra-curricular activity that Christian has introduced me to.

“Alright, alright,” Astor says reading my face perfectly and rolling his eyes. “I don’t need any gory details. Although I guess that adds to Grey’s list, too.”

The doors to the elevator open and I walk across the stone floor to the circulation desk. When the computer stirs awake, I log into the library system and type Laws of Commercial Transactions in a World Economy into the search bar.

“It looks like it was checked out this morning,” I say when I see the due date next to the title in bold red font.

“What? That assignment hasn’t even come out yet. Who has it?” He asks. I click on the due date for check out information and smile.

“Christian Grey,” I reply smugly, and Astor rolls his eyes.

“Perfect,” He says sarcastically.

“You know he’s in a lot of study groups. Maybe you could just join one of them so you can both use the book.”

“I doubt it. I already told you, he hates me and I don’t know enough about Helicopters to schmooze him.”

“Well you’ll find Aviation Mechanics on the 2nd floor, just past the elevator,” I say and he laughs.

“Books aren’t always the answer, Anastasia,” He jokes.

“I don’t know, they haven’t failed me yet. I’m here after all,” I reply, and he laughs again.

“What?” I ask, suspiciously.

“Nothing. Well, okay… I like to read too, sci-fi mostly. I uh… picked Harvard because Michael Crichton went here. Jurassic Park was a big part of my childhood.”

I smile and lean in conspiratorially. “I applied to every Ivy League school. Out of the eight applications, the only acceptances I got were Harvard and Columbia. My dad thought I would pick Columbia because I have a thing for New York and when I picked Harvard he assumed it was because it was so much more prestigious, but in reality, I’ve wanted to go here since I saw Legally Blonde when I was thirteen.”

He laughs again and I join in before turning back to the computer.

“Well, I guess you’re probably the expert at sucking up to Grey.” Astor says. “Do you have a recommendation for an Aviation book?”

“Principles of Helicopter Flight,” Christian answers, walking up behind Astor. “3rd edition.”

“Grey!” Astor says, clearly startled.

“Harrington,” Christian responds in an overly cool tone while sizing him up with his eyes. He smirks and then turns to me.

“Are you off?”

I turn to look at the clock and realize it’s twenty minutes passed 6.

“Oh, yeah. Let me just tell Ryan I’m leaving,” I say. I give Astor a quick wave goodbye and hurry quickly into the back room. When I return, bag in hand, Christian is waiting for me, leaned up against a pillar and typing on his Blackberry. Astor is nowhere to be seen.

He looks breathtaking standing there in dark jeans and a long sleeved black sweater. I have to stop and admire him for a moment. Is this beautiful man before me, whom I wholly love, really mine?

“All set,” I say eventually to get Christian’s attention. He looks up, smiles and puts his Blackberry in his pocket.

“What do you want for dinner?” He asks.

“I don’t know, whatever they’re serving I guess,” I say absentmindedly, still distracted by how good he looks tonight. “Should I tell Kate to meet us? Is Ros coming?”

“I didn’t mean Annenberg, Ana.” Christian says. “I wanted to take you out tonight. Just the two of us.”

“Oh,” I say, as I begin to beam. “But I’m not dressed to go out.”

“You look beautiful,” He says, and I blush.

“Still,” I say. He shakes his head and leads me back to Grays Hall, deciding to check his email in his room while I hurry into my own dorm to change. Kate does her quick, five minute, barely there makeup routine on me and twists my hair into an elegant but messy knot on top of my head while I slide into skinny black jeans, a white button up blouse, and a heather gray cardigan. I step into a pair of black pumps and head out the door with a quick wave and expression of gratitude. I’m so happy Kate loves make-overs so much. What would I do without her?

I knock on Christian’s door and he answers almost immediately, smiling as his eyes rake over my new outfit. I take his hand and we walk side by side to his car in the parking lot.

He takes me to a restaurant called Rialto and we’re seated at a dark table with soft light flickering from the lone candle between us.

“How was your day?” He asks after we’ve ordered.

“Fine. Work was slow but I got through it. How about you?”

“It was alright. You’re making me question my gym routine. You’re far too tempting in my bed in the morning.”

“Apparently not tempting enough and my bed isn’t nearly as warm and comfortable as yours.”

“Then you should always sleep next to me,” He says.

“And be kicked out every morning?”

“You wouldn’t have to leave when I left,” He argues. “I want you there.”

“We talked about this this morning. You leave a lot earlier than I do and if I won’t be able to lock up when I have to go to class.”

He reaches into his pocket, removes a silver key and places it on the table between us.

“I had this made for you today so you could. I wanted to talk to you tonight about moving your things into my room,” He says.

What? Move? Already? We’ve only been dating for a few weeks! Am I even allowed to do that? Do I want to do that?

“Christian…” I begin hesitantly. “I live with Kate. I like living with Kate. You and I… we’re so close we don’t really need…” I see face begin to fall as he hears the rejection in my words. I sigh and reach out and take the key.

“Thank you,” I tell him. “I’m not going to move my things, but that doesn’t mean I won’t stay with you all the time. Like I said, your bed is really superior to mine.”

“We have the same beds, Anastasia. The rooms came furnished.”

“Yes, but my bed doesn’t have you in it,” I say. He smiles a half kind of smile but the muscle in his jaw is still tight. There is dead air hanging between us as the waitress sets our plates down and we begin to eat in silence.

“You were talking to Astor Harrington tonight,” Christian says at last, and I can hear the displeasure in his voice.

“He asked for my help finding a book,” I tell him.

“You were talking about me.”

“You had the book. I suggested he join a study group with you so you could both use it and he asked about some of your interests so he could break the ice. He thinks you hate him.”

“So, he’s perceptive.”

“Christian…”

“I don’t like you alone with him.”

“We weren’t alone, I was at work.”

“He’s going to try to take you, Anastasia. Just like he tries to take everything from me. He used to think Ros and I were dating and he spent weeks trying to seduce her until he found out she was gay.”

“What are you talking about? Today he told me he thought you and Ros were dating and I had to tell him that it was a business relationship.”

“Yeah, and next he asked you about your interest’s right? Turns out that you two have something in common?”

I bite the side of my cheek with frustration because I don’t want to admit Christian is right and I really don’t like his tone, which makes me feel like a child or something. He’s paranoid. Just because it happened the way he says it did, doesn’t mean he’s right about Astor’s intentions. Not every man I meet is trying to steal me away from him. He sounds crazy and I’m going to say so until I’m cut off by his Blackberry buzzing on the table.

He looks down at the screen irritably but as he reads the name his expression changes and I notice he’s hesitant to answer. A dreadful sense of unease flashes through me as I guess who it might be.

“Is it… her?” I ask.

“No, it’s my mom,” He says. I exhale, feeling relieved but confused at his reaction until I remember Elena’s threat in Aspen and everything suddenly makes sense. Grace is spending the week with Elena and he’s worried that she got to her. He’s worried this is the phone call where his mom will tell him Elena has convinced her that I’m not good for him and he should call it all off immediately.

“Mom?” Christian says in a tight voice when he answers the phone. “I’m well, how are you?”

I study his face while he speaks, looking for any minor variance in his carefully constructed stone facade but when his expression finally does change it’s into a look of relief.

“I’m glad to hear you had a good time, I’m sorry your week was cut short. Anastasia and I are out to dinner, can I call you back this evening? I will, thank you, Mom. You too, good-bye.”

I stare expectantly at him as he sets the phone down.

“My mom wants me to pass her love onto you,” He tells me.

“And Elena?” I press him but he shakes his head in a way to tell me there is nothing to tell.

“Can I ask a question?”

“What?” He asks, still clearly irritated from our spat.

“Why don’t you just tell your mom?”

“Tell her what?”

“About you and Elena?”

I think it takes him a second to realize what I’m saying but when he finally understands, his face morphs from curiosity to horror.

“About Elena and I, are you crazy?” He hisses, looking around as if to make sure no one can hear us. “Telling my parents wouldn’t just stop them from believing what she said or end their friendship. Anastasia. My father’s a lawyer. If they found out, they’d drag her through the courts and have her put in prison.”

“Well… yeah,” I say, emphasising that that’s the point.

“I don’t want that,” He says in a tone I’d expect him to use after I asked him to do something utterly revolting. “She doesn’t deserve that.”

“Christian, she had sex with you when you were fifteen. That’s less than two years older than Mia is now. She’s a child molester.”

“It wasn’t like that…”

“You don’t get to pick and choose what it was. There are laws, Christian, and there are laws for a reason. What she did was…”

“Enough,” He says coldly, cutting me off. “I’m not going to tell my parents. Don’t bring it up again.”

“They’re not going to be mad at you, Christian.”

“I said enough.”

I stare back into his steel colored eyes and the hard, aloofness in them makes my throat sting. The unnecessary harshness in his tone is like a slap in the face. My appetite has vanished and I’m furious now. This dinner has been a disaster and honestly, I just want to be alone now.

“Fine,” I say sharply. “Are you finished?”

“Anastasia,” He says consolingly but I’m not in the mood anymore.

“I’d like to go home,” I tell him. He looks at me, torn for a moment until he shakes his head with exasperation and scans the restaurant for the waitress, waving her over to bring us the check.

The car ride home is quiet and awkward. I glance over at Christian, who looks lost in thought as he chews on the side of his index finger. He looks mad and his anger just increases mine. He doesn’t have any right to be mad at me. I was just doing my job with Astor and I’m right about Elena. After all she’s done to him, all she’s put us through, why would he ever want to defend her? It’s disgusting.

We pull into the parking lot and I get out of the car as soon as he puts it into park and begin to storm angrily back to Grays. I can hear Christian behind me, but he doesn’t call out for me to stop until I get to the door of my dorm.

“Anastasia,” He says, reaching out for my elbow and turning me to face him.

“What?” I ask.

“Why are you running from me?”

“I’m not running from you, I just want to go to bed,” I tell him.

“You’re not staying with me tonight?”

“No. I think I want to be alone.”

He frowns down at me, looking worried and like he’s trying to find the words to say something or to keep me from leaving.

“Good night, Christian.”

“Ana…”

“I love you., I tell him, and even though I know he’s still disappointed, he at least seems less worried.

“I love you too,” He says.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” I say, and reach up and kiss him chastely on the lips before turning around and slipping through my door.

“What are you doing here?” Kate asks when I close the door behind me. “I thought you’d stay with Christian tonight?”

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” I say.

“Are you fighting?” She asks concernedly.

“Sort of. He’s having some jealousy issues and I’m just frustrated.”

“That’s the worst,” She replies, and I’m surprised by her sympathetic tone. “Trust can take a while sometimes. You’ll get there, just keep showing him that you only want him and he’ll start to believe you.”

“Wow, advice other than dump him from Katherine Kavanagh?” I ask skeptically.

“What can I say, I’m a big softy now,” She says, and I laugh as she continues. “Seriously though, I can see you’re in love with him and how happy he makes you. Relationships can be hard but the truly good ones are worth fight for. Christian is worth fighting for, Ana. He loves you.”

“I know,” I say with a sigh, and I crawl into her bed next to her and rest my head on her shoulder. “How did you become so much smarter than me?” I ask.

“It’s been my sole obsession for years now. I stay up late at night while you’re asleep working tirelessly at it,” She replies sarcastically and I laugh.

“You know what you need? A girl’s night,” Kate suggests. “I’m going to San Francisco on Friday so Thursday night, let’s go out and have a fabulous time, just girls.”

“That sounds really good, Kate.” I reply with a smile. She lets out a small squeal of excitement and hugs me tightly. I roll my eyes and get up, crossing over to my own bed and crawling into the covers without bothering to do more than pull off my jeans and sweater.

“Goodnight, Ana,” Kate says, reaching over to turn off the night.

“Goodnight, Kate.”

Next Chapter

 

“I’ve been thinking about you in my bed all day,” Christian says, as he nimbly undoes the buttons on his shirt. I moan with anticipation, then pull my tank top over my head and shimmy out of my pajama bottoms in record time. With a gentle nudge, he pushes me back on the bed and stares down at me sprawled over his comforter in my bra and panties.

“God damn, I’m a lucky son of a bitch,” He says. His eyes rake over me with hunger and his thumb brushes over his bottom lip. I whimper as I look up at him.

“Christian,” I plead, desperate for his touch, and he smiles.

“Eager?”

“Yes, I want you,” I say.

“Take your panties off,” He orders. I comply quickly, reaching down, pulling my panties down my legs, and tossing them to him. He smiles and runs his fingers over the lace before tucking them in his back pocket. Hmm… I wonder if I’m going to get those back? Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure he still has the pair from our first night in Vegas. Kinky Grey, very kinky.

“Touch yourself,” He says in a low, husky voice.

“What?” I gasp. He turns around, grasps the chair pushed up against his desk and pulls it to him. I watch him sit down and stare at me expectantly.

“I want you to touch yourself, Anastasia. I want to watch you make yourself come.”

“I want you,” I groan, but he shakes his head. I take a deep breath, knowing that I’m only able to do this now because well, I’m in love with him, and I trust him entirely. I drag my hand over my stomach and down between my legs, breathing deeply to calm myself down and stay in the moment. Only for you, Christian.

Slowly and deliberately, I gently brush my fingertips over my lower lips back and forth, watching his eyes follow my movements. I writhe on Christian’s sheets as I feel my fingers quickly become lubricated.

“Harder,” Christian commands, and I instantly apply more pressure to my clitoris, slowly circling my fingers around and around the way he’s done to me before. His eyes seem to darken as he watches me, and his enraptured stare eggs me on, fueling desire within me. It’s so hot, pleasuring myself while he watches. It’s like a private, dirty show, and it makes me feel wanton and desirable.

As the sensations of my fingers intensifies, I close my eyes and open my mouth, needy mewls escaping with each stroke of my hand. It doesn’t take long for the heat growing within me to explode and I find myself desperately trying to keep the pace as an orgasm rocks through me. When I can no longer continue, Christian falls to his knees on the side of the bed and dives into me face first. I feel his mouth move over me while his tongue dips inside of me over and over again. He grabs me by the hips, holding me to his face as he gently sucks and nibbles my clitoris. I cry out, overwhelmed by the sensation, and when I can’t take it any longer, he reaches into the drawer of his bedside table, pulls out a condom, and then dips inside of me.

He fucks me on his knees over the side of the bed, then pulls out of me, pushes me farther onto the bed, flips me onto my front, and pulls my hips into the air. I gasp as he takes me again, pulling my hips back to meet him for each thrust.

“Your ass looks so fucking sexy like this, Anastasia,” He growls. “Oh, baby. Fuck!”

I push back onto him, increasing the speed and friction. He’s never taken me this way before and the feeling of control afforded by the extra freedom I have to push back against him, meet him thrust for thrust, is incredible. I’m loud, too loud, as he drives in and out of me, and I feel the quickening begin again. Oh god, two?

“Again, Anastasia?” He asks, an obvious note of satisfaction in his voice. I whimper and then feel his hand come down hard on my behind. The sting rocks through me, shocking me, but to my surprise, it doesn’t hurt. Instead, pleasure pulses through me, causing me to feel the urgency of my orgasm increase, and I want to ask him to do it again.

“Do you like that?” He asks, and I gasp, feeling overcome as I build and build…

“Anastasia?” He asks urgently, demanding I answer him. He spanks me again and I feel myself detonate, my body trembling an intense orgasm takes over.

“Yes!” I scream.

“Oh, give it to me, baby,” Christian groans. He pummels in and out of me, taking everything I have to give and more until he finds his own release and comes violently inside of me. The moment his thrusts cease, I collapse, falling flat onto the mattress, and he rolls over next to me. His arms wrap around me and pull me into him so that he can kiss my neck.

“You’re so fucking sexy, Ana,” He says. “Watching you pleasure yourself was one of the hottest things I’ve ever seen.”

I smile and then turn over to look at him.

“You’re amazing,” I say. He smiles his heartbreaking half smile, leans over, and kisses me. I can taste myself on my tongue, which I think he knows because he deepens the kiss and entwines his tongue with mine. When he pulls away from me, I catch him around the neck and sneak two more soft kisses before collapsing back into the pillows.

“I’m exhausted,” I tell him, a little laugh escaping my lips.

“Then sleep, baby,” He says, brushing his fingers through my hair.

“Here? In this tiny bed?” I giggle.

“It means you’ll be closer to me,” He says. I make a small mmm sound of satiated comfort and turn again so that my back is against his front. His fingers stroke through my hair, gently massaging my scalp until I drift off to sleep.

In the morning when I awake, I’m dying. Christian’s body is radiating an uncomfortable amount of heat and both his arms and legs are wrapped around me, holding me against him. I try to squirm away from him but in the limited amount of space, the best I can do is roll onto my other side so that I’m facing him rather than laying against him. It does help the heat situation though, since less of my body is actually touching his.

Glad that I didn’t wake him, I look at his beautiful face. If it’s possible, he’s even more handsome in his sleep. Completely serene and unmarred by stress or troubled memories.

“I love you, Christian,” I murmur under my breath, brave enough to say it now that I know he can’t hear me. I don’t know why I’m so afraid to say it to him in person, while he’s awake. I guess maybe because it’s so quick? Because he hasn’t said it yet? I don’t want to scare him off or anything. This is so new and I don’t know what it’s going to be yet. But despite all the uncertainty, I know that I truly do love him and have for a while.

I reach up and brush my fingers over the side of his face. He inhales sharply and slowly opens his eyes.

“Hey,” He whispers, when he recognizes me next to him.

“Good morning,” I say, kissing him softly on the lips.

“What time is it?” He asks.

“Just after 7:30.”

“Mmm, I need to get up,” He says. “I have my first flying lesson this morning.”

“Lucky. I get to do laundry and buy books.”

“Do you want to take a shower first?”

“Not unless you want to be late,” I laugh.

“Good call,” He says, with a chuckle. “Come on.”

He pulls the covers back, flooding me with cold air. I roll out of bed, kiss him goodbye, and head back across the hall. Kate is in the shower when I get back to my room, probably having just got back from a run and I wait patiently for her to get ready so we can get breakfast together.

After breakfast, we head down to the bookstore and get our books for the new semester and then I barricade myself in the laundry room, reading Far from the Madding Crowd while I wait for my clothes to dry. With the oversized industrial machines, it actually doesn’t take long for me to finish and I’ve got everything washed and put away by mid-afternoon.

Christian has some orientation for an intensive economics course he’s taking with Ros this semester, which runs kind of like Model UN for for the world economy, and Kate has to set up a profile for an online class she’s taking this semester, so I call Jose and ask him if he wants to meet for lunch. He tells me to meet him at a small café that has amazing sandwiches just off campus, so I say goodbye to Kate and make the trek to Dunster Street. He’s already there waiting for me when I arrive and I give him a quick hug before sliding into the booth across from him.

“Hey, how was your break?” He asks as we start looking over the menus.

“Good,” I say, unable to conceal the smile that breaks across my face.

“What?” he asks suspiciously.

“I spent a good amount of time in Aspen over the break.”

“Aspen?” He repeats with an impressed inflection.

“Yeah, with Kate and Christian’s family.”

“Christian? Like, Christian Grey?”

“Yeah, we’re… dating now,” I say, still feeling the initial thrill of disbelieving giddiness that Christian is actually my boyfriend. My joy is nearly embarrassing, especially because of Jose’s reaction.

“You’re really dating that guy?” He asks, a distinct sour note in his tone.

“Yes,” I respond defensively, feeling my glow dampen a bit. “He’s great.”

“I don’t know. I just don’t really see you two together… You’re nice, and happy, and fun to be around and he’s so… serious all the time. He always looks like he’s mad at something. It creeps me out.”

“You just don’t see him the way I do,” I say.

“That’s good. I don’t think my girlfriend would be happy if I did,” He replies.

“Another one?” I ask.

“Cynthia,” He says, and I laugh.

“You’re quite the lady killer,” I say.

“What can I say?” He says, and I roll my eyes just as the waitress appears to take our order.

The rest of the day passes by fairly slowly as I prepare for the next day of classes. Kate and I meet Christian and Ros for dinner at Annenberg, but I sadly have to decline when he asks me to stay with him again tonight. I don’t want to be tired for my first day of classes and sleeping is never the primary objective of a sleepover with Christian.

The next morning though, I’m disappointed that I didn’t decide to stay with him since I hardly get to see him all day. He leaves to work out before I even think about getting up and once I’m out of the shower and ready to head to breakfast, he’s already in class.

I have a doctor’s appointment first thing after breakfast so that I can secure some birth control, and the wait is so long for me to see anyone, I’m nearly late for my first class. I slam down a pill outside the room and then hurry inside. Having everyone stare at me as I take my seat while the professor hands out his syllabus, is a great way to start the semester.

My schedule is a little tougher this semester. The reading lists I’m given in each class are long and unfamiliar to me, which is exciting but also daunting. I’ve added some writing classes in addition to literature and by the time I am walking to my last class for the day, I’m overwhelmed by the amount of work I’m going to have to do this semester. I’ll have nearly written enough for an entire novel by the end of the term in my fiction writing class alone.

The last class I have for the day is Business Writing, something I’m not looking forward to because of the dull subject matter, but am forced to take as a part of my degree. Also, this class doesn’t start until 4:00 and I’m already starving. Hopefully Christian will want to get dinner after this. I slump down in a seat in the middle of the class, already anxious to get out and meet up with Christian to find out how his day went, when a tall, handsome boy with blond hair, sharp features, and deep blue eyes sits next to me.

“Hi,” He says, flashing me a smile of perfect white teeth and reaching out his hand for me. “I’m Astor Harrington.”

“Anastasia Steele,” I say, shaking his hand and turning awkwardly back to my bag for something to write with.

“I haven’t seen you around, Anastasia. Are you studying business?”

“No. I’m in the English department,” I reply.

“I see. I knew I couldn’t forget a face like that.”

I look back at him bemused, raising my eyebrows as I try to figure out if he’s for real or not. What a cheesy line… I think he’s going to say something else to me but in that moment the professor enters the room and calls our attention to the front of the class.

Dr. Lessig passes out a syllabus and begins talking through his class requirements, which are at the same time unique to his class and nearly exactly the same as every other class I’ve attended today. When he gets to the meat of the course, he tells us that we are to build a portfolio throughout the semester which will be regularly evaluated by our peers before we turn it end in May in lieu of a final exam.

“Go ahead and break up into groups of four and get to know each other. You’ll be spending a lot of time together this semester,” Dr. Lessig says. He turns back to his desk and starts going through a stack of papers while the class erupts with the noise of shifting chairs and dozens of hesitant voices.

“What do you say, Anastasia?” Astor asks. “Will you be my partner?”

I want to roll my eyes at the obvious double entendre in his voice, but since it seems everyone around the room is simply grouping up with who their seated by, I don’t really have much of choice.

“Sure,” I say, slightly defeated. “We need two more though.”

“We’re looking for another pair,” One of the guys sitting directly behind us says. I turn to face him and notice that the guy he is already partnered with, is… Carter.

Oh wonderful.

Carter doesn’t look angry or antagonistic towards the idea of partnering with me, so I sigh, nod, and turn my chair back to face their table.

“Hi, I’m Anastasia Steele,” I say, reaching across the table for the one who spoke to me.

“Aiden Murphy,” He says, and then turns to shake Astor’s hand.

“Carter Reed,” Carter says, introducing himself to Astor. He turns and smiles weakly at me and, because I’m not sure how to react, I raise my hand and wave like an idiot.

“So, tell us about yourself,” Astor says, turning to look at me.

“Uh, well, I’m from Montesano which is by Seattle. I’m a freshman, and I’m studying English with an emphasis in Literature,” I say awkwardly. He smiles and turns to look at Aiden, who I learn is from Denver, is studying pre-law with Carter, and is bilingual in German and English. Astor is from Long Island, New York, and is studying Business and Economics but is sure to tell us he also plans on going to law school.

We make small talk until Dr. Lessig dismisses us, and, while other students stand and start migrating out of the class, we exchange email addresses.

“Maybe we should exchange phone numbers too,” Astor suggests, turning to look at me with a broad smile. “Just in case.”

“I think email is enough,” I reply, rolling my eyes as I turn to put my notebook back into my bag. He shrugs and steps out of the way so I can pass in front of him towards the door.

“Ana?” I hear someone call behind me and I turn to see Carter walking towards me.

“Hi,” I say hesitantly.

“Hey. Ummm… I just wanted to apologize for the way everything happened last fall. I handled that whole thing really poorly and said some things to you that were totally uncalled for.”

“You know what, it’s fine. If we’re going to be partners, I think we’ll have an easier semester if we just forget about it and move on,” I say diplomatically.

“Really? Ana, I’m really happy to hear you say that. I’ve felt just terrible about everything. I thought about you a lot over the break and I’m glad I got this chance to talk to you. Do you wanna go grab coffee something?”

“Oh, uh… I can’t. I’m meeting someone,” I say, awkwardly and Carter’s face falls.

“Grey?’ He asks.

“Yeah.”

“So, you two are…”

“Yeah.”

“Oh,” There is a distinct note of worry behind his deflated tone and he looks down at the ground as he answers.

“It’s new,” I say hurriedly. “Christian and I. It happened over the break.”

“Oh,” He says, brightening a little, though his tone is still conciliatory at best. “Well… congratulations. He’s a lucky guy.”

“Thank-you.”

“I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, looks like it,” I respond with a smile.

“Cool. See you later, Ana.”

“Bye,” I tell him, and wave as he walks in the opposite direction out of the building. I take a deep breath and exhale sharply to release the tension I feel at the awkward conversation, and head out of the building.

The air outside is bitterly cold and, as I pull out my phone to text Christian, I begin to wish I had gloves because my fingers immediately stiffen.

Hey, I’m out of class. Where are you?

Library. Are you hungry?

Starving.

Ros and I will meet you at Annenberg. Is Kate with you?

No, but I’ll call her.

I turn down the path towards Annenberg and dial Kate’s number, then place the phone between my shoulder and ear so I can rub my hands together to elicit some kind of warmth.

“Hi,” Kate says, answering on the 2nd ring.

“We’re going to Annenberg. Want to come?” I ask.

“Sure, right now?”

“Yep.”

“I’m on my way.”

Because the English department is farther away from Annenberg than Grays Hall and the library, by the time I arrive, Kate, Christian, and Ros are already there waiting for me. I rush forward into Christian’s arms, glad for the extra warmth cuddling into him provides as we walk. Annenberg is crowded and loud, and by the time we find a table where we can all sit, the potato I had been excited to devour is lukewarm at best.

“How were your classes?” I ask Christian, as I dip a piece of crusty bread into my soup.

“Fine. My International Politics professor is an idiot, though.”

“Christian, just because you think you’re above pre-requisite classes, doesn’t mean you can call our professors idiots. Dr. Abraham was a member of the United Nations for 30 years,” Ros says exasperatedly.

“Then he should know how to pronounce ‘hegemony’.”

“He’s British, that’s just how they say it.”

“Do you two have every class together?” I ask.

“Yes,” Christian responds.

“Christian isn’t very creative when it comes to registration. I swear if he wasn’t my business partner, I’d think he was stalking me. Actually no, I don’t know if that makes it better. Are you stalking me?” Ros says with a laugh.

“Speaking of stalkers, Ana do you know that guy over there just staring at you?” Kate interrupts.

Christian and I both turn in the direction Kate nods in and I see Astor sitting a few tables down, watching me as he swirls a spoon around the mug in front of him.

“Astor Harrington,” We respond in unison, though with much different tones. Christian looks down at me.

“How do you know Astor Harrington?” He asks.

“He’s in my Business Writing class. How do you know him?”

“He’s a business major. He’s in half my classes, and he’s creep.”

“Well, we’re in a study group together,” I say.

“What? Why?”

“Because he sat next to me in class when the professor told us to break off in groups. It’s me, him, some guy named Aiden and Carter Reed,” I say, emphasizing the last name as I turn to look at Kate.

“Carter Reed?” Kate repeats, with a disgusted tone in her voice.

“Yeah, turns out dreams to do come true,” I reply sarcastically.

“More like your nightmare,” She says with a laugh. I laugh too but stop immediately when I turn to Christian who looks angry.

“I don’t think so,” He says in a quiet voice.

“What?” I ask.

“You’re not going to be in a study group with Astor Harrington and Carter Reed.”

“Why?” I demand.

“I don’t trust either one of them. Carter Reed is a—”

“Christian, aren’t you going to be late,” Ros interrupts him, probably sensing an argument brewing that she doesn’t really want to be present for. He turns and glares at her but glances down at his watch.

“Fuck,” He hisses. He reaches down to pick up his messenger bag and rounds on Ros. “Meet me in the Library at 7:15. There are a few more things we can get done tonight.”

“Christian, we’ve already gotten a lot done today and there isn’t anything pressing until I get responses back from New York. I’d like to get some homework done. Just because you don’t ever sleep, doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t.”

“I’m not happy with the Washington Trust proposal. It needs to be re-worked so we can have it sent out before Friday.”

“Fine,” Ros says, rolling her eyes. He nods once and then turns to me.

“We’ll talk about this later.”

“You bet we will,” I snap back at him. He looks down at me for a moment, the anger that came out of nowhere still blazing fiercely behind his eyes, and then turns and disappears down the aisle and out the doors.

“Where’s he going?” I ask Ros irritably. “If he wants to get work done so badly, why doesn’t he just do it?”

“He has to go to therapy,” She says with a shrug. “His mom makes him see a therapist every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 6.”

“What for?” Kate asks, trying and failing to sound innocent, but Ros just snorts at her question.

“You think he would tell me why he’s in therapy? Christian doesn’t share anything with me except for numbers and business proposals. I only know he’s in therapy because he sends me his schedule every week and his appointment with Dr. Fisch is on there. Even then, I only know Dr. Fisch is a psychiatrist because my roommate sees him.”

I nod. I actually already knew this from last semester, and really so did Kate. The difference is then, I thought he might be in therapy because of OCD, now I know better. I feel my anger begin to fade as I think about Christian spending the next hour in a room having to re-hash painful childhood memories.

Ros begins to gather up her things, probably in a hurry to leave to get some homework done before Christian gets back but when everything’s packed up, she doesn’t leave. She just turns back to face me.

“It’s good though for you, Ana,” She says. “He’ll go yell at his therapist, they’ll talk it out, we’ll get a bunch of work done, and by the time he sees you tonight, he’ll be in a better mood and you’ll be fine.”

“Why does he care in the first place?”

“Well, he’s been insanely jealous of Carter Reed since he found out you two started dating last fall and he’s threatened by him. So obviously, he doesn’t want you around him now that he’s finally got you. And Astor is pretty much the only competition he has in our entire department. They’re constantly fighting to be at the top of the class and it’s really not unusual for them to get into debates that take up an entire period. I don’t think he wants to compete with him for you too.”

“It’s not a competition, it’s a study group.”

“Did you see the way Astor looked at you, Anastasia? I think he wants to compete.”

“I don’t care. I want Christian.”

“You know that. I know that. Christian….” Ros says but her voice trails off. “It’ll be fine. Just give it some time.”

“Ugh,” I moan.

“He’s under a lot of stress, Ana. We had a series of major setbacks a couple months ago and nothing we do seems to be helping. I don’t know if it’s the rejection or something else, but he’s been pushing himself really hard to get a business deal done since New Years.”

I frown and Ros picks up her bag and smiles down at us.

“Well, I’m going to head to the library and see if I can get some homework done before the slave driver gets back. I’ll see you girls tomorrow?”

“Yes,” I reply, smiling back. “You ready, Kate?”

“Yeah, Elliot is supposed to call in like 20 minutes.”

“Okay. Thanks, Ros,” I say, waving good-bye.

“You’re welcome. See you later, Ana.”

Kate and I leave the dining hall and trudge back to Grays Hall huddled against each other as the wind beats fiercely against our faces. It’s so cold that by the time we’re back to our dorm, I’ve pretty much decided I’m never going outside again. Kate lies lazily on her bed, picking up her phone as Elliot’s call comes through, so I grab a towel and decide to jump in a quick, hot shower to warm up and give them privacy. The hot water feels so good, that my quick shower turns into a long luxurious shower that is at the same time relaxing and stressful because it gives me time to think about Christian’s reaction at dinner.

If Ros is right, and he doesn’t want me around either Carter or Astor because he’s worried they’ll become competition for him, then he clearly doesn’t trust me very much. What is he just going to shield me from every other guy on campus? Keep me locked up in seclusion so that I’ll never be around anyone but him? I don’t think so.

Irritated, I reach down, turn off the water and grab a towel, rubbing it furiously through my now soaking hair. Anger ruminates through me as I contemplate the state of my relationship. What’s next? Is he going to ask me to stop being friends with Jose? That’s so controlling! Domineering.

My hands freeze as realization dawns on me. Domineering! That’s what this is. Not rivalry or lack of trust. An unwelcome memory of sitting with Elena in the salon in Aspen comes back to me.

That my dear, is the real Christian Grey. The longer you draw this out, the more of him you’ll see. He’s jealous and possessive and if you let him, he will consume you.

I swallow the bile that rises in my throat as I realize the bitch troll’s words may actually be true. I knew this about him, it’s why it took me so long to say yes. He told me at dinner that night before break that he wanted to dominate me. He said that part of him wanted me to be his submissive. Is that a much bigger part than he admitted?

No. No. No. No. No. No.

I shake my head furiously as the notion comes to mind. I’ve got to do something about this, stop it before it gets out of control. If Elena was right and this really is what’s happening, then I need to put a kibosh on it right now. If he wants to be with me, then he needs to understand that I’m his girlfriend, an equal in this relationship, not a submissive.

With new determination, I get dressed and since I can hear that Kate is still on the phone in the room, I decide to blow dry my hair. Thankfully, once I turn off the hairdryer, the only noise I can hear through the door is the steady drumming of Kate’s fingers on her keyboard. I head back into the room and pull my laptop onto my bed to check email. There are several emails from the school which basically amount to junk mail, a couple emails from professors sending electronic copies of their syllabus out to their entire class, and an email from Astor.

From: Astor Harrington

Subject: Business Writing

Date: January 14th 2008 06:49PM

To: Anastasia Steele

Anastasia,

Perhaps we ought to come up with some kind of study schedule? We could start tomorrow evening, say around 7PM? Why don’t I take you out for dinner and we’ll discuss our goals for this semester?

-Astor

I roll my eyes at the email. Neither Carter nor Aiden is CC’d on the email so I know this isn’t about class. I hit reply and type out my response.

From: Anastasia Steele

Subject: RE: Business Writing

Date: January 14th 2008 07:24PM

To: Astor Harrington

CC: Carter Reed; Aiden Murphy

I have work on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Once we have an assignment in this class, I suggest we schedule something in the afternoon on Wednesdays around 3:30 in the library. Let me know how that works for everyone.

-Ana

At 8:30 there is a knock on my and I know it’s Christian. Kate gives me a look of pity as I get up to answer it.

“Can I talk to you?” Christian asks when I open the door.

“Yes,” I say, and I step out into the hallway. He turns around and opens his own door and ushers me inside. When I’m in the room, my eyes fall immediately on the perfectly made bed and memories of the other night come flooding over me.

No, not now Steele.

“I don’t want you to be in a study group with Carter Reed,” Christian says quietly behind me.

“Well that’s not really your decision to make, Christian,” I reply, the anger from my shower now building again.

“You don’t really know him, Anastasia.”

“We’ve dated before. I think I know him better than you do.”

“No, you don’t.”

“Christian…”

“No, you don’t!” He interrupts me, and the careful calmness in his voice evaporates, replaced by stern anger. “Do you know what he used to say about you in the boathouse to his friends? He doesn’t think of you as anything but a hot piece of ass and I don’t want you around him.”

“Nothing is going to happen, Christian! I don’t care what he thinks of me as. If he propositioned me I would say no. You have to trust me!”

“I do trust you, it’s him I don’t trust.”

“Christian, this is exactly what broke Carter and I up in the first place. Him trying to keep me away from you and making up ultimatums.”

“He’s was right to try and keep you away from me, Anastasia. I wanted you, I was trying to take you, and look where you are now!”

“I’m here because this is where I want to be. If I wanted to be with Carter, I would be with Carter!”

“You want to be here now, but what about in a few weeks when you’re spending late nights alone together and he’s saying all the right things?” A visible shiver of revulsion washes over him and he swallows hard before continuing in a low, cold voice. “I’m not going to compete against Carter Reed, Anastasia. You’re mine.”

“Yours? Like property? So, I’m right?” I spit back at him. “This isn’t jealousy, this is a dominant thing. You’re trying to control me. You’re trying to turn me into a submissive, right?”

“That’s not it, Anastasia.”

“I know exactly what it is, Christian. You said yourself that part of you wanted to have me as a submissive.”

“That’s not it,” He says, his voice tightening.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“It’s not that.” He says again, and the more he talks the more it seems he’s losing control of his temper.

“Then what is it?” I scream back at him.

“It’s because I love you!” He yells angrily.

I freeze. The fiery rage inside of me is quenched instantly and I’m left dumbfounded. Did he just say…?

“Wh-what?” I stutter, hardly able to speak in more than a whisper.

“I love you,” He says again. “I have for a while. I think since the moment you asked me about that stupid name tag on the door. I love you, Anastasia, and I can’t lose you.”

“I love you too,” I whisper back to him, the argument completely forgotten as I absorb what he just said and make my own declarations.

“What?” He asks disbelievingly.

“I love you too, Christian. I’ve wanted to tell you for a while now, I just didn’t know how you would react. It’s so soon and I thought that if…”

My words cut off as Christian crosses the room in two long strides and takes me in his arms. His lips crash down on mine and he pushes me against the wall, kissing me with an urgency that one would expect from a man going off to war. I lose myself in him, the man I love, and he loses himself in me. The residual anger from our argument morphs into desire and is redirected into this passionate point of contact, and when he finally pulls away, I’m left wanting.

“Ana,” He whispers against my lips.

“Christian,” I reply.

“I love you,” He says again, and he lifts me into his arms and carries me to his bed.

Next Chapter

Breakfast the next morning is fairly quiet as everyone is feeling pretty down about leaving and getting back to real life. Elliot stares down at his muffin looking like someone told him Christmas had been cancelled, which in some way actually has happened since Carrick said there wasn’t enough time for one last run before we left. Mr. Lincoln is obviously doing everything he can to avoid looking at either Christian and I. I feel sorry for him as I realize how embarrassed he must be hearing what he heard last night. After all, he’s known Christian since he was a small child, too. But any ounce of remorse I may feel for our little act of defiance against the wall last night is completely subdued by the irate looks Elena shoots at Christian and I every three seconds. Eventually, it becomes too awkward having her glaring at us so pointedly in front of Grace and Carrick that I excuse myself and head upstairs to pack.

“You didn’t finish your breakfast,” I hear Christian say behind me, and when I turn around to look at him, I see the disapproving look in his eyes.

“It’s hard to keep up an appetite with Cruella DeVille staring me down like she’s looking for a weak point to attack,” I say, zipping my bag closed with unnecessary force to emphasis my point. He frowns and then saunters over to me, wrapping me in his arms.

“We’re leaving in less than an hour and that will be the last we see of her for at least a few months,” He says.

“But I’m leaving you too,” I reply sadly.

“I know. But it’s only one day and then I’ll have you to myself for the rest of the semester.”

I smile at the thought and rise up onto my toes to kiss him. His arms tighten around me and I capture his bottom lip between my teeth and then suck gently. He groans, reaches down to cup my behind, and I think he’s going to lift me and carry me off to the bed until I hear a slight cough behind us.

“Oh look, another show,” Elena says with annoyance. “You two really ought to start selling tickets.”

“What do you want, Elena?” Christian asks in a clipped tone. She strolls slowly and casually into the room and Christian reaches around and pushes me behind him protectively. What does he think she’s going to attack me? If she is then let her. I’d love to punch this bitch right in the face.

“I just wanted to make sure you were packed,” She says, resting her hand lightly on Christian’s bicep but he shrugs her off angrily.

“Don’t fucking touch me, Elena,” He warns.

“Now, don’t be like that Christian. I don’t know when I’ll see you again and I hate it when we leave angry at one another. I just thought I’d give you a chance to apologize for your little act last night and we could move on from here.”

“That’s the trouble though. I’m really not sorry.”

“Christian,” She pouts. “You know, your mother and I are going away together next month for a whole week. Carrick was an easy target and I should have guessed he’d be just as easy to break. Grace, on the other hand is tougher, but she’s also much more fiercely protective of her children and much more rash than Carrick is.”

“You don’t scare me,” Christian says.

“Well then clearly, I didn’t teach you as well as I thought I had. I’d hoped Carrick would restrict your credit cards and leave you crawling back to me in desperation, but little Ana here changed his mind. So, I need to aim higher. Tell me Christian, how difficult would it be for you to start your company without your trust fund?”

Christian glares at her, a murderously angry glint in the gray of his eyes but Elena just lets out a soft, breathy laugh at his fury.

“I’m going to have new contract drawn up this week, Christian. I’d be willing to bet it will be signed by March.”

“Fuck off, Elena,” He spits at her. She nods and smiles, then turns to lean the room, but she pauses at the door frame before she exits and turns back to face us. “I love your hair, Anastasia.”

Without thinking, I launch myself forward at her but Christian grabs me around the waist, stopping me so that I can do nothing but glare at her as she disappears down the hall.

“Don’t worry,” He says. “She’s bluffing.”

“Are you sure about that?” I ask. He looks down at me, not answering my question, and his silence tells me that he isn’t sure. He’s worried and I’m not prepared to deal with the scenario where he has to make a choice between me or his dreams for the future. I’m not going to let that happen. I’ll blow the lid off the whole Elena secret before I let her do anything to really harm Christian or to jeopardize his future. We’ll see who’s side Grace is on then.

Christian reaches down, picks up my suitcase up off the bed, and follows after me as I storm out of the room and down the stairs. Thankfully, Elena and Mr. Lincoln have decided to continue their vacation here for a few more days, so they won’t be leaving with us for the airport and I won’t have to worry about Christian being alone with her in Seattle, even if it will only be for one day. Elena hugs Grace, Carrick, and each of the Grey children, even offering warm good-byes for Kate and Ethan. Mr. Lincoln looks at her strangely when he reaches his hand out for mine as we leave and Elena simply walks away. After a moment though, he just shrugs, probably assuming she was still feeling awkward about last night.

Relief washes over me as I climb into the front passenger seat of the black SUV, Christian steering us all off for the airport, and I get to think about not seeing her for a very long time. I do worry though, about the gravity of her threat and how much clout she may or may not hold with Grace. Is there anything she can do?

Everyone is feeling a little somber once we get to the airport since everyone is being separated. Kate is flying directly back to Boston from here because her parents are out of town on business, Elliot is heading back to San Francisco, and I’m leaving for Vegas, which I suppose now seems pointless since I’ll be flying back to Boston tomorrow.

When we get through security, Kate and Elliot dissolve into an embarrassing public display of affection. Elliot’s flight for San Francisco leaves in less than 25 minutes so they hardly have any time for a good-bye. Still, they don’t break apart until Elliot barely has time to run to the gate before missing his flight.

“I’ve really got to go, Kate,” He says urgently.

“I know, I just don’t want you to,” She replies.

“Come see me soon. We agreed on two weekends a month. One in San Francisco, one in Boston.”

“One in Stanford and one in Cambridge,” She corrects him, and he smiles down at her.

“That’s my girl,” He says, and then kisses her one last time. “Laters, baby.”

“Bye,” She says sadly.

He waves goodbye to all of us as he sprints away through the terminal and I go quickly to Kate, wrapping my arms around her as tears start to well in her eyes.

“I hate not knowing when I’ll see him again,” She sniffs, looking morosely at the crowd that Elliot has disappeared into.

“President’s day is on the 21st so we have a three day weekend next week,” I tell her soothingly. “You can use one of the flight vouchers he bought you for Christmas to fly to San Francisco and spend it with him.”

It breaks my heart to see her vulnerable like this. In the 12 years we’ve been friends, I’ve never seen Kate show emotion like this over a guy. This is more than great sex or good chemistry, Kate is in love.

“Do you need me to pick you up at the airport tomorrow?” She asks, wiping her tears away.

“Please,” I tell her, and she nods. I know her flight isn’t leaving much longer after Elliot’s and she’ll need to hurry to her gate, so I wrap her in my arms for one last reassuring hug.

“Love you, Katie,” I tell her.

“Love you too, Annie,” She says, and she kisses me on the cheek and picks up her bag. One last hug for Ethan, Grace, Carrick, Mia, and even Christian, and Kate heads off to catch her flight.

“I’m going to wait with Ana until her flight leaves,” Christian says to his family. “I’ll meet you at the gate.”

“Of course, dear,” Grace says, holding her arms out for me. I step forward and let her envelop me in a warm hug. “Thank you so much for spending the week with us, Ana. It’s been so wonderful having everyone together.”

“Thank you for having me,” I say gratefully. She looks down at me, winks, and hands me off to Carrick.

“We’ll come visit you and Christian in Cambridge soon, Ana. It’s been a real treat having you with us this weekend.”

“Thank you, Carrick,” I say. He hugs me tightly and I give one last hug goodbye to Mia and Ethan, and then Christian takes my hand and we walk off towards my gate.

“Christian!” Carrick calls. We turn to look back and see him running up behind us.

“Dad?” Christian asks.

“I don’t know when I’m going to get you alone without your mother before you leave tomorrow morning and if she knows I got this for you, she’ll kill me,” He says, reaching into the inside pocket of his jacket. He pulls out a long envelope and hands it to Christian.

“What is it?” Christian asks.

“Well, since rowing season is over, I thought you should have something to keep you busy and balance out your studies,” He says. “And I don’t know if I ever really told you how proud I am that you got into Harvard so I hope this shows you.”

Christian looks at his father suspiciously and then tears open the envelope. His eyes widen as he reads the paper folded inside.

“Flying lessons?” He asks excitedly.

“You always said you wanted to fly and there is a good helicopter course your side of Boston.” Carrick says.

“Dad, I-I don’t know what to say!” He gasps, still looking down at the paper in astonishment.

“Don’t say anything,” Carrick says, grinning broadly. “Remember, it’s our little secret. If your mom finds out, I’ll deny having anything to do with it.”

“Thank you,” Christian says.

“You’re welcome. Now go get Anastasia to her flight. I’ll see you back at the gate.”

Christian smiles and takes my hand, re-reading the paper again as we walk through the crowd on the way to gate C – Service to Las Vegas. I’m disappointed when I get there and find they’ve already started boarding, meaning I won’t have any extra time with Christian.

“Ready?” Christian asks, the excitement in his voice from the helicopter lessons gone now that I’m leaving.

“No,” I admit truthfully. “We should have just gone straight back like Kate.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” He says reassuringly. “Kate is picking you up from the airport?”

“Yes,” I say. He nods and looks a little disappointed. I wonder if I should have had him pick me up instead?

“You’re going to fix your hair when you get back, right?” He asks, his tone joking, but there is a serious kind of glint in his eyes.

“I’ve already made the appointment,” I say with a laugh. He nods, smiling a sexy half smile, and then reaches out and brushes a strand of hair out of my face.

“I’m going to miss you,” He says.

“Me too,” I say. I look up into his eyes and in that brief moment, I have the overwhelming urge to tell him that I love him, because… I do. It’s too soon, we’ve only been dating a little over a week but it doesn’t matter. After everything that we’ve been through, the months of fighting this desire for him, the time spent alone with him and his family, the fighting with Elena, the sex… I’ve fallen in love with him. I hesitate, unsure of whether or not to say it, but my window closes as he leans down and kisses me tenderly.

“Laters, baby,” He says, and I giggle at the strange but utterly heartwarming phrase he’s clearly stolen from Elliot.

“Bye,” I say. He squeezes my hand before turning to walk away, and I sigh at my missed opportunity.

I love you, Christian Grey.

My mom looks completely shocked when I get off the plane in Vegas. She gapes at me as I come down the escalator.

“Ana, your hair!” She gasps.

“I know,” I say ruefully. “I had a bad day at the salon. I made an appointment at the salon around the corner from the house for this afternoon. Could you take me?”

“Sure,” My mom says. “I’ll get my nails done. We’ll make it a girl’s day.” I smile at her and she leads me back to the car asking me to recount every second of the last week.

When I leave the salon that afternoon, the first thing I do once I’m back in the car is take a picture of my newly chestnut colored locks and send it to Christian. His return text is almost immediate.

 

Much better. Though you always look beautiful.

 

I smile at the sweet words on my screen and then turn to the stereo looking for a song for mom and me to sing to on the way home.

“So… Bob and I are putting the house on the market on Monday,” She says. “We’ve already started looking at houses in Savannah.”

“Oh!” I say. She’s already told me that she and Bob were planning on moving but somehow it still comes as a surprise.

“Bob’s already found a job at a brokerage firm down there. We’ll be packed up by the end of the month.”

“That soon?” I ask. She nods as she pulls into the driveway. I look at the house and frown, realizing that after tomorrow, I’ll probably never see it again. I never really lived here, just the occasional visit on school breaks, but this home represents the first time I ever thought of my mom as being stable after she left Ray. She moved in here right after her disastrous divorce from husband number 3 and she lived here when she met Bob. As I look at it now, I realize that I’ll be sad to see it go.

Mom orders pizza for dinner so we can spend time talking rather than cooking and I’m surprised when she pours her glass of wine for the night that she brings one for me too.

“Are you excited to get back to school?” Mom asks, sitting on the couch across from me and pulling her wrap tightly around her for extra warmth.

“Yeah,” I say truthfully. “I really like Cambridge and it’s fun living with my best friend.”

“And living across the hall from Christian,” She adds. I nod and take a sip of the fruity red wine.

“Did you two enjoy your week together?”

“Yes. When I got hurt we spent a lot of time alone at the cabin and even though he wouldn’t let me do anything and it was so boring I wanted to kill myself, it was nice too,” I say. “Just being alone together was amazing.”

“He seems to be very serious about you. Bob and I were very impressed with him when he was here.”

“He’s an impressive guy,” I say. My mom narrows her eyes at me, clearly not appreciating my brevity.

“So, you are serious then?”

“I think so.”

“Do you see yourself falling in love with him?” She asks, and I have to take another drink of wine to decide how I want to answer.

“I think already do.”

“Really?” She asks, astonished. She smiles and then her face changes into a look of sentimental retrospection. “You know, Ray used to worry all the time when you were in high school. About what he would do when you finally got a boyfriend… It was a real struggle for him, wanting you to be happy but also wanting to protect you from every boy that came around. Most of our phone calls were about boys and what he should say to you, but you let him off the hook. Not one boyfriend the entire time you lived with him. Now, you’ve finally found someone to love and Ray’s halfway across the world. I wonder what he’d think of Christian?”

“I know he’d love him,” I say, a small smile crossing my lips. “He makes me happy and I know that’s all Ray would care about.”

“Have you told him?”

“No. I don’t get many phone calls with him. I haven’t spoken with him since Christmas but this doesn’t feel like something I want to put in a letter. He’s not going to get to meet him for at least two years so when I tell him, I want to be able to tell him everything so he won’t worry. I want him to hear how happy I am.”

“Well, tell me, Anastasia. What do you love about him?”

“Everything, really. He’s smart, he’s strong, he’s handsome… He doesn’t always smile but when he does, it feels like my heart skips a beat. He’s stubborn, and bossy, and he’s got a temper, but he generous, and sweet, and when we’re alone together he has a way of making everything around us disappear so that all that’s left is us.”

“I’m so happy for you, baby girl,” She says, smiling broadly.

“Thanks, Mom. I’m really happy,” I say. She takes a long drink of wine and takes a breath as if to brace herself.

“Have you had sex?” She asks.

“Mom!” I exclaim.

“What, Anastasia? I’m your mother and I think I should know if you’re sexually active.”

“I can’t talk about this with you,” I say incredulously, feeling my cheeks burn.

“I’m not judging you, sweetie. You’re nineteen now. You’re a woman and you’re old enough to make your own decisions about your body and your sexuality. I just want to make sure you’re being safe. Do we need to get you birth control?”

“Mom!” I groan.

“Do we, Ana?”

“I’m going into the clinic on campus on Monday,” I say in a low, rushed tone. Thankfully, my mother’s only reaction is an approving nod.

“But up until now, you’ve used protection?”

“Yeah, Mom,” I say in an exasperated breath, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

“Good,” She replies, relieved. “I wasn’t much older than you are now when I had you, Ana. I wasn’t as smart or responsible as you. Now, I wouldn’t change anything. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me but when I got pregnant young, I didn’t have an Ivy League education to lose. Harvard is the most important thing for you right now, Ana. These next four years will determine your entire future and boyfriend or no boyfriend, I don’t want you to lose sight of that.”

“I won’t,” I promise.

“I love you so much, Anastasia.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

Thankfully, we move on to less humiliating topics and spend the night laughing together, refilling several glasses of wine. By the time I go to bed, I force myself to drink a large glass of water and take two Tylenol. I really don’t want to be hung over on my flight tomorrow.

After I say goodnight to my mom, I double check my bedroom and the bathroom for anything I’ve left behind since I’ll only have time for a quick shower before I have to leave for the airport in the morning. I feel the nagging sense of sadness as I look around my room for things I’ve missed, remembering that I won’t be back here again. Once everything is packed, I take my phone, crawl into bed, and call Christian.

He’s interested in hearing about the embarrassing conversation I had with my mother this evening but for the most part he’s distracted looking at helicopter models the flight school in Boston offers. He goes into great detail describing, what he assures me, are overly impressive specs of the Eurocopter EC135 model, and as much as I enjoy his enthusiasm and clear expertise on the subject matter, I find myself drifting off to sleep somewhere around max takeoff weight and rate of climb.

“Anastasia, are you there?” He asks. I start awake, trying to shake the overpowering sleepiness away.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m here. 1,500 feet a minute… that’s amazing.”

“You’re falling asleep, aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry, it’s late.”

“I know. Get some sleep, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I bite down on my lip as I again feel the urge to tell him I love him but just like last time, I chicken out.

“You too. Have a safe flight.”

“Goodnight, Anastasia.”

“Goodnight,” I say, and I hang up the phone. I take a deep breath and cuddle into my pillow allowing sleep to overtake me and drag me down into the blissful darkness that lies just before my dreams.

The next morning is a myriad of emotion as my mom cries three separate times on the way to the airport. I promise to call often and that I’ll come visit her once they’ve moved to Georgia. She holds me tightly, professing over and over again how proud she is of me and as I turn and make my way to the line at security, I look back and see Bob holding her while she sobs quietly into his jacket. I frown, feeling guilty I spent so much of my vacation away from her in Aspen. I really haven’t seen her much since she and Ray were divorced and though I’ve grown accustomed to our long absences from each other, it seems she hasn’t. Perhaps I will plan a trip down to Georgia soon, maybe for spring break, and I won’t take Christian so we can have uninterrupted mother/daughter time. Though, the thought of spending a week without Christian makes the muscles in my stomach tighten with stress.

I get through security and settle into the chairs outside my gate, staring down at my phone as if expecting it to ring. I know Christian is already on his flight home. He’ll actually make it back to Cambridge in great time because he doesn’t have a four hour layover in Virginia.

When I do finally arrive in Boston, Kate is already there waiting for me. She smiles as I come through the glass doors and hugs me before leading me out to her car.

“How was your night here alone?” I ask when we’ve finally pulled onto the highway that will take us back to Cambridge.

“Boring,” She admits. “I mostly just unpacked and did laundry. I did find a note from Elliot in my suitcase telling me how beautiful I was though.”

“Aww!” I say staring at her radiant smile. “You guys are so cute, it’s disgusting.”

“We’re disgusting? I hardly saw your face the entire time we were in Aspen because it was constantly attached to Christian’s.”

“What can I say? He’s a fine specimen,” I say, and she laughs.

“I’m happy for you. Especially since if you two get married and then Elliot and I get married, we’ll be sisters.”

“You’re already my sister, Kate. No matter what.”

She pulls into the parking lot closest Grays Hall next to the familiar silver Audi that I know is Christian’s. A smile crosses my lips as the car reminds me that he’s here. I’m going to see him soon. Kate helps me wheel my luggage across the snow covered campus and the moment I walk through the front doors, I am surrounded by the familiar, slightly musty, but wholly welcoming smell of Grays Hall that I hadn’t realized I’d missed until now. I exhale with relief as I yank my luggage up the stairs after me and walk down the hall to my room. Kate pulls out her keys and I turn to face Christian’s door, frowning slightly as I realize the lights are off.

“Yeah, he came back earlier this afternoon, but he was only there for an hour or so before Ros came by. They went off somewhere and haven’t been back all day.” Kate explains.

“Hmm,” I mumble, shrugging before turning to walk through my own door. Surprisingly, even though Kate has been here for over a day now, the room is tidy. I look down at my bed and a comforting sense of home crosses over me. I don’t have time to do anything yet though because fortunately, Annenberg is open for another 27 minutes and I’m starving so Kate and I hurry down and get dinner before starting a marathon of unpacking and sorting laundry. I figure I’m going to spend the entire day tomorrow in the laundry room and the bookstore so I can be ready when classes start on Monday.

I don’t finish unpacking until nearly 9:30, too early to go to bed but too late to do anything else. Kate is sitting on her bed, scrolling through her Facebook news feed so I change into pajamas and crawl into my own bed with a book. Another hour and a half passes of intermittent conversation with Kate and reading until finally at 11:13, there is a knock on the door.

I turn to look at Kate and she rolls her eyes.

“It’s not for me,” She laughs. I bite down on my lip and pull my covers back, giddily climbing out of bed and racing to answer the knock. The second the door is open, Christian’s lips come crashing down on mine. He kisses me deeply for a moment before entwining his fingers in mine and pulling me out of the room and across the hall.

“Goodnight, Ana,” Kate says, and I giggle as Christian closes his bedroom door behind us.

Next Chapter

I am alone in a dark room with deep red walls. The unmistakable smell of citrus, wood polish, and leather surrounds me, and I squint through the dim light to see a dark wooden cross. I approach it slowly, easing my hand out to touch it, and the moment my fingers brush against the polished wood everything changes and I’m suddenly tied down to it. I tug at the leather straps around my wrists, vaguely aware that I am naked, but they don’t budge. The wooden cross creaks and rattles as I struggle against my restraints, but it remains unyielding.

“Shhh,” Christian whispers, stepping out of a shadow and stalking around me like a hungry predator. “There’s no point in struggling, Anastasia. You’re not going anywhere.”

“Christian,” I ask hesitantly as he comes to a stop before me, examining my body.

“You look mighty fine, Miss Steele,” He says. He comes forward pressing himself against me and I feel my body relax as he kisses me. Though I cannot move, I revel in the feel of his tongue taking full possession of my mouth until I hear a loud slap and feel a sting on my left thigh.

“Ahh!” I cry out, though once the shock wears off I realize the sting is just that. A quick flash of pain that fades away instantly but electrifies my skin. I watch Christian reach back, a brown, leather plaited riding crop in his right hand and he brings it down over my breasts. The bite of the crop is sharp but sends a shock of pleasure through me. I moan at the contact, trying to squirm out of my restraints as my lack of movement over intensifies the sensation.

“Again?” Christian asks, and I bite my lip as I await the next blow from the crop.

“Answer me, Anastasia,” He commands.

“Christian…” I say, my voice all breathy.

“That wasn’t an answer,” A woman’s voice says harshly, and I break out of my erotic stupor immediately as I watch Elena walk out of the shadows.

“You gave a command and she disobeyed you, Christian. You know what you need to do,” She says. Christian looks at her and then at the crop in his hand.

“Don’t be weak,” Elena spits at him. “Do it! Show her who is in control.”

Again, Christian hesitates so Elena raises her arm and for the first time I notice a belt in her hand. She brings the leather strap down hard over Christian’s back with three quick strikes and when the fourth blow rains down over him, he falls to the ground on his knees.

“Christian!” I cry, again trying to break free of the restraints that bind me to the cross, though this time with purpose.

“Weak!” Elena cries as she hits him again. “You’ll never be in control, Christian. You’ll always belong to me.”

“To you,” Christian repeats, pain evident in his voice as yet another blow crosses his back. I feel tears begin to roll down my cheeks as I fight desperately to free myself and Elena begins laughing at my anemic attempts to break the leather straps. Her laughter grows louder and louder until…

I sit up in bed, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. There is a sharp pain in my stomach though I can barely register it as I look around the dark room in panic. Christian is lying beside me, sleeping peacefully, oblivious to my sudden awakening. I take a few deep breaths to calm down, still shaken by my nightmare.

It was only a dream, I tell myself but it’s so fresh in my mind I can practically hear the sound of Elena’s laughter still ringing in my ears. There is a pressing urge from my bladder so I roll out of bed, noticing the cramp in my stomach getting stronger as I walk to the bathroom. When I sit down to pee, I look down and see that my period has started five days earlier than I expected it to.

Wonderful. This is the night that just keeps on giving.

Christian still hasn’t made love to me since my accident, and with this little surprise, I’m sure that possibility is now out the window.

I turn to grab some toilet paper and frown as I realize that I don’t have any tampons. Thinking that maybe Kate does, I finish up in the bathroom, wash my hands, and creep out into the hallway. When I reach Kate’s door, I pause, listening for any sign that she and Elliot are doing anything but sleeping, but when I hear Elliot’s snore, I’m almost sure they’re asleep. I knock lightly as an extra precaution, and when there isn’t an answer, I gently ease open the door and creep over to Kate’s side of the bed.

“Kate?” I whisper, attempting to gently nudge her awake.

“Hmmm,” She mumbles, turning over onto her side and cuddling up to a pillow. I whisper her name again and slowly, she awakens.

“Ana?” She asks, slightly dazed.

“Kate, do you have any tampons?” I ask quietly.

“Yeah, in my bag in the bathroom,” She says, pulling the covers away from her and carefully easing her way out of the bed. I follow her into the bathroom between her and Mia’s room and she pulls a large pink tote bag out from under the sink and finds a Tampax box. She takes out a yellow wrapped tube and hands it to me.

“Thank you,” I say but before she can say anything back, we hear a loud yell come from down the hall.

“What was that?” Kate asks, her brow furrowing as the yell comes again. “Is that Christian?”

“Christian?” I say, turning around and walking quickly for the bathroom door. We emerge into Kate’s room just as a light turns on and Elliot rolls out of bed. He doesn’t look panicked or worried at all, as if screaming is something he’s used to waking to. Without a word to Kate or I, he hurries from the room and down the hall towards the room Christian and I share. Kate and I follow after him and when we get to the room, I notice the door is already open. I peak inside and see Elena lying across the bed. My first instinct is that she is hurting him, but as I rush forward to stop it, I notice she’s trying to shake him awake.

“Christian, wake up!” She coaxes him, gripping him firmly by the shoulders. He starts awake and looks wildly around the room until his eyes fall on Elena leaning over him.

“Ana?” He whispers hoarsely. “Ana? Wh-where’s Ana.”

“I’m right here, Christian,” I say, coming around the bed, and Elena glares at me when he practically leaps forward and pulls me into a crushing hug, holding me tightly against him. His whole body trembles as I hold him in my arms and I notice he’s covered in sweat which, mixed with the cool air of the room, brings goosebumps to the surface of his skin.

“Hey,” I say, trying to calm him down. “Are you okay?”

“You left,” He breathes. “Why did you leave?”

“I had to get something from Kate.” I tell him. “I’m here.”

“I… think they’re okay, Mrs. Lincoln,” Kate says from the doorway. We both turn to look at her and I notice Grace is there now, looking relieved. Elena gives Christian and I one last sour look and turns to leave. Christian falls back onto his pillow just as the door closes. His breathing slows as he relaxes.

“Are you okay?” I ask.

“Where did you go?” He asks.

“I had to get a tampon,” I tell him, embarrassed. “My period started.”

He nods, but his expression looks painful still.

“What’s going on, Christian?”

“I have nightmares,” He says, his voice still weak.

“How often?” I ask, feeling guilty as I think of how terrifying it would be to wake from a dead sleep to the sound of Christian screaming.

“Nearly every night, except…”

“Except?”

“Except when I’m sleeping next to you,” He says. “When I sleep next to you, I don’t dream at all.”

“You don’t dream?” I ask, a tinge of sadness to my voice.

“Trust me, Anastasia. It’s a welcome change. I must be conscious of your presence even when I sleep. I was fine and then… you left.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. Do you want to talk about it?”

“No, Anastasia. I most certainly do not want to talk about it.”

“Okay,” I say softly, and then get up to walk to the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” He asks, panicked.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell him. “I just need to… um…”

I hold up the yellow wrapped tube in my hand and he nods, but I see him deflate into the pillows a little. When I return, he has his blackberry out which is strange since it’s three o’clock in the morning.

“Who are you texting?” I ask.

“Just responding to an email from Ros,” He says. “Come to bed.”

I cross the room and crawl into the covers next to him. He raises his arm so that I can snuggle up into the crook of his arm and I fall asleep with him wrapped around me.

I wake up in the morning to an aching cramp in my side and moan as I realize that I’m going to have to go to the spa and spend the day with the bitch troll. I feel bloated and tired. Why couldn’t this little surprise have happened when I was forced to do nothing but lay in bed all day?

I roll out of bed, glancing wearily at Christian still sleeping easily on the pillow next to mine. Will he have another nightmare if I leave? I hesitate for a moment but decide that he must be about to wake soon anyway. He is usually awake before I am. I head for the bathroom and turn on the shower so the water can warm while I pee. I need to remember to stop in town today and buy some tampons but I’m sure Kate will let me borrow another one once I’m out of the shower.

The water is warm and relaxing when I step into the shower, and after a few moments I feel the cramp in my side begin to relax. Perhaps a day at the spa is actually a perfect way to end this vacation. Relaxing generally eases my cramps and isn’t that the point of the spa? I quickly shampoo, condition, and scrub my body clean, but just as I begin to wipe the suds from the body wash off my skin, I hear the shower door open, and Christian’s arms wrap around me.

“Good morning, baby,” He says, pushing his erection into my backside.

“Good morning to you,” I say with a giggle.

“I was hoping you’d be next to me when I woke so I could start the day inside of you, but this is promising too,” He says. He reaches down between my legs but I back up, holding my arms out to stop him.

“Whoa, hold on,” I say, and he looks at me confused.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m bleeding,”

“So?”

“So?” I say back exasperated. “Christian!”

“I don’t care that you’re bleeding, Anastasia. We’re in the shower and I’ll get to really feel you for the first time.”

“Really feel me?”

“I won’t need to use a condom.”

Hmmm, that does have promise. I suppose in those terms, I’ve never really felt him either.

“You’re sure you’re okay with it?” I ask, hesitantly.

“Baby, I more than sure,” He says, and I watch him grip his erection as if to prove his point. I bite down on my lip as warm, erotic desire courses over me at the sight of him touching himself, and I let my hands fall. He closes the distance between us, pressing his body to mine as he pins me to the shower wall. I lean forward to kiss him and his hands clasp each side of my head as his lips meet mine. I moan and he slips his tongue past my lips, eagerly exploring my mouth.

Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hug him as close to me. I want to feel as much of him against me as possible. He reaches down and pulls one of my legs up and hitches it over his hip. His other hand reaches down and repeats the motion on my other leg so that I’m wrapped completely around him, helplessly pinned between him and the shower wall. He reaches down, around my leg and positions himself beneath me. One thrust and he is inside of me, taking full possession of me. I gasp as I find myself unprepared. This is so quick.

“Oh, Ana,” He moans, expressing a deep sense of ecstasy. I too moan as, for the first time, I really get to feel the difference no condom makes. His moments in and out of me are smooth like velvet and I realize now why he must hate wearing protection so much. I’m in heaven feeling skin on skin and find myself climbing to my climax quickly.

“You feel fucking amazing,” He says, awed. He thrusts into me harder, moaning with each movement. I can feel a tightening deep inside of me as each stoke hits me in just the right place.

“Christian,” I gasp, my breath coming quick and harsh now.

“That’s it, baby. I want to feel you come,” He growls, pushing harder and harder until I begin to quicken. He leans forward, his teeth sinking into my bottom lip, and I explode, convulsing against the unrelenting shower wall behind me. He continues to pound on and on until he too finds release, crying out my name as he comes inside of me.

“Will I ever get enough of you?” He asks, resting his forehead against mine as we come down from the high together.

“I hope not,” I whisper. He looks up and kisses me again, and while I lose myself in the kiss, I hear the faint sound of the bathroom door open.

“Oh, Jesus! Sorry!” I hear Ethan call. Christian grabs me and pulls me flush against him again, attempting to shield me from Ethan’s line of view. The door closes and Christian rounds on me, fury blazing behind his eyes.

“You didn’t lock the door?” He asks angrily.

“I didn’t think about it,” I say quickly. He releases me, easing me down onto the ground and turns the water off. He opens the door and grabs two towels, tossing one to me and wrapping the other one around his waist as he crosses the room to lock the bathroom door.

“Get dressed,” He snaps, and then storms off into the bedroom. I wrap the towel around me, wring my hair out the best I can and then follow after him. He’s dressing hurriedly and I can tell that this wasn’t just a passing surge of anger.

“Christian, why are you mad?” I ask.

“You know why I’m mad,” He replies. The harsh tone of his voice immediately puts me on the defensive.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I snap back. “I didn’t realize that I only spoke just to hear myself talk.”

“Don’t give me your smart mouth now, Anastasia.”

“Then stop being such a dick. I really don’t understand why you’re mad.”

“Do you think it’s acceptable for another man to see you naked?” He asks, and I roll my eyes.

“He didn’t see anything, Christian. The glass was foggy and you were in the way.”

“And if he had come in 10 seconds later we would have been out of the shower and you would have been on full display,” He says.

“I’m sorry. I’ll make sure I lock the door next time,” I say exasperatedly.

“Good,” He says, the anger in his voice still blazing.

I glare at him and turn to my suitcase, digging through for clothes to wear today. Once I find something suitable I stomp into the bathroom to change and slam the door behind me. If he’s going to act like a child, so will I. I lock the door on our side before crossing the tiled floor to lock Ethan’s door as well, but frown as I remember he’s already done that. I dry off and have only just gotten into my underwear when there is a soft knock on our bedroom door. After taking a deep breath to calm down so that I can be reasonable, I open the door.

“I’m sorry,” He says. “I just… really don’t want to share you. I don’t want anyone else to see you that way. I want you and your body to be for me. Only for me.”

“I am only yours. Maybe I should be more careful, but it was an accident. I just didn’t think about it and you have no right to be mad. If anything, Ethan should have knocked before he just came in.”

“I agree,” He says. “And I’m sorry I was angry with you. Come back in here and let me show you how sorry I am.”

“I need to dry my hair. We’re leaving soon,” I tell him, mostly because I’m still a little angry but also in part because we just finished in the shower. How can he want sex again already? He frowns, but doesn’t protest when I close the door.

When I’ve finished drying my hair, I head back into the bedroom, ready to forgive Christian and move on, but he isn’t there. I find him downstairs, dressed to hit the mountain. Everyone is saying good-bye as the boys are about to depart and, to my dismay, Christian is talking to the bitch troll.

“All set?” I ask, purposefully stepping into their conversation.

“I was,” Christian says. “But that was before I saw how beautiful you looked. How will I get through the day away from you?”

“I’m sure you’ll survive,” I say with a laugh.

“I mean it, Anastasia. You’re so beautiful,” His fingers capture a lock of my hair and he smiles. “I really like brunettes.”

He pulls me into him, holding me close, and gives me a wicked smile. I hear Elena scoff next to me and realize what he’s doing. I wonder what she said to him? Well, if it was bad enough for him to suddenly act vindictive, I’m sure it was bad enough that she deserves this. Christian leans down and kisses me deeply and I make quite the show out of kissing him back.

“Alright, alright,” Elliot says, annoyed. “Break it up. We’ve got to get going and Christian doesn’t need to start the day off deprived of oxygen.”

“Have a good day, baby,” He says, kissing my lips softly one last time.

“You too. Be careful,” I say.

He winks at me and turns to follow Elliot and his father out the door. I wave goodbye to Ethan, who looks back at me, embarrassed, and hurries out the door, closing it quickly behind him. Hmmm, I wonder if he did see something?

“We should head out too,” Grace says. “Is everyone ready?”

After a short drive to a pharmacy in town where I can pick up some essentials for the next few days, Grace, Kate, Mia, Elena, and I pull up in front of a sleek building with a modern looking sign which reads Aspen Club and Spa on a plain slab of concrete.

The lobby inside is warm, inviting, and smells of lavender. Everything is clean and modern, from the furniture around the fireplace in the small sitting room just to the right of the front doors, to the golden blonde haired woman who is sitting behind a bamboo desk waiting to greet us. She’s dressed in white from head to toe and she smiles sweetly at us as she reaches out to grasp Grace’s hand.

“Welcome to Aspen Club and Spa. How can I help you today?” She asks.

“We are here for a little pampering,” Grace replies.

“We have a whole menu of rejuvenating spa services designed for ultimate relaxation and a full service salon.”

“That sounds divine,” Grace says, and then turns to Kate and I. “Choose whatever services you girls would like. Today is on Carrick.”

“Really?” Kate asks excitedly. “I’ll have one of everything then.” Grace smiles as the receptionist hands us each a cardstock menu that lists spa services. I take a seat next to Kate in the lobby and look at the list of exotic treatments, each listed in the hundred dollar range. I have to remember to breathe as I look at the exorbitant cost but Kate eagerly checks off nearly every box.

“We should do these treatments together, Ana.” She says, leaning over and making check marks on my sheet. “I really think it’s something you would love.”

I spend the afternoon following Kate around, receiving the same treatments she does. Fortunately, Grace and Elena spend most of the day off on their own so really I’m not around Elena all day, which is wonderful. However, once Kate decides she needs to have her hair done in the salon and casually suggests I should consider adding low lights to my hair for dimension, I find myself trapped in a room with the bitch troll.

The receptionist sits me in a chair right next to her in the lobby while she whisks Kate back for immediate treatment, but fortunately Elena doesn’t say anything to me, presumably because Grace is seated on her other side. She’s seemingly engrossed in a gossip magazine, absentmindedly twirling her wedding band around her finger.

I take a deep breath and reach forward to take a magazine myself but in that moment, one of the stylists comes and takes Grace into the back, and immediately Elena sets down her magazine.

“The way he talks to you, those sweet little nothings he whispers into your ear, that won’t continue forever. He’s not interested in romance, Anastasia. He wants dirty, kinky sex. He wants to dominate you because that’s who he is. I heard your little fight this morning,” She says.

“Did you?” I respond, not interested enough in talking to her to look up from my magazine.

“Yes, and that my dear is the real Christian Grey. The longer you draw this out, the more of him you’ll see. He’s jealous and possessive and if you let him, he will consume you.”

“This must be eating you up inside,” I say, turning to look at her. “Realizing that you don’t know him at all.”

“Oh Ana, Ana, Ana. I know him better than anyone else in the world. I have seen him in his most vulnerable moments. He’s exposed himself to me in a way you will never see because you will never have control of him the way I did. At a very basic level, all Christian wants is power. Why do you think he’s so hung up on this business plan of his? He needs to control things because when he was young his basic needs weren’t met. Now he’ll do anything to make sure nothing like that ever happens again, so he’ll control everything he can, including you, and I don’t think that’s what you want.”

“You just can’t handle that you lost. He chose me over you and now you have no power over him and it’s killing you.”

“Look, Christian is great fuck. He wasn’t when I met him, but he learned, and you’re right, it infuriates me that all of my hard work is being used to please you. But, honestly, Anastasia, I’m trying to help you. Look, I know you think I’m the bad guy here, but really, I’m doing you a favor. If you don’t break it off with him now, you’re going to end up with a broken heart.”

“That’s very touching to hear,” I say sarcastically. “But Christian and I are very happy together and nothing you do is going to change that. Just like your little stunt with Carrick backfired, so will everything else you try, and if you don’t stop trying to break us up, I will ruin you.”

“Excuse me?” Elena sneers but her attention is called away from me when another stylist calls her name and motions for Elena to follow her.

“Have fun!” I say in a fake, overly bright voice before rolling my eyes and returning to my magazine. Elena exhales with frustration but smiles at the stylist who leads her into the salon. I wait only a few more minutes before one of the women dressed in all white comes to collect me and sits me in a chair in front of a large mirror.

“Your card here says you’re looking for a little color,” The woman says, running her fingers through my hair and invigorating the roots of my scalp.

“Yes, something different but not too drastic,” I say.

“Oh darling, it’s going to be drastic but in a good way. You’re going to look fabulous when I’m finished with you. Are you ready?”

“Yes,” I say nervously. She spins my chair around and places earphones over my ears. As she dips my head back in the sink to wash, I close my eyes and feel my body relax to the sounds of mediation music.

The dye in my hair smells extremely strong and burns my scalp a little while it sits in my hair, seemingly forever. I wait patiently, but when it’s finally time to rinse, the stylist won’t let me see the difference until she’s dried and styled my hair. I don’t really see the point of a big reveal, how different will my hair look with low lights added?

The stylist trims the ends of my hair and then blows it out with a wide round brush while I continue to lose myself in the peaceful music from the headphones. I feel as if I’ve nearly fallen asleep by the time she tells me she’s finished and have to shake myself awake a little as she removes my headphones and prepares to turn me to the mirror.

“You look amazing, are you ready?” She asks. I smile at her, nod, and she spins me around. I gasp as I look back at my reflection to find that my normal chestnut colored locks are now a shocking platinum blonde.

“Do you love it?” The stylist asks excitedly.

I can feel myself trembling as my breath catches in my throat.

“Wh-wh-why is it blonde?” I gasp, hearing the anguish in my voice. I think the stylist hears it too because her face falls and she immediately reaches for my services card.

“It says here you wanted a platinum blonde dye job,” She says, handing the card out for me. I look down at it in horror and then across the salon where I can see Elena hiding a smile behind her fingers. I feel as though I’m about to break down in tears.

“It’s okay, this is not a big deal,” The stylist says reassuringly. “We can fix this. We’ll just have to give it a few days so your hair can relax from all the bleach and then we’ll go back to brown.”

“No, no it’s fine. Thank you but um… I’ve gotta go,” I say, standing quickly and rushing out of the salon for the bathroom in the main lobby. I look at myself in the mirror horrified. I know she did this because Christian said he liked brunettes and I know I’m only upset because I’m now worried about his reaction. Was he serious? What will he say?

I’m able to calm down by promising myself that I’ll get it fixed this weekend in Vegas and I head back out into the lobby where I find Kate, Grace, Mia, and Elena waiting for me.

“Ana! You’re blonde!” Kate exclaims. She looks shocked and I can tell by her expression she isn’t quite sure she likes it.

“I think you look wonderful,” Elena says, and I glare at her.

“I do too, it’s absolutely stunning, Anastasia,” Grace agrees. “I know Christian will just love it.”

I smile weakly at her and follow them out of the spa, wishing I had a hood to cover my head as we walk through the parking lot. The clouds overhead are dark and threatening, and a strong gust of wind has picked up. It looks like a pretty bad storm is coming in and I’m sure that means the boys will have called it a day by now. They’re probably at home waiting for us.

When we pull up in front of the cabin, snow has begun to fall and everyone rushes as quickly as they can to get inside, except me. I amble slowly up the walk, dragging my feet as I go. I can hear everyone’s warm welcomes coming from the living room and take a deep breath and trudge forward. The boys fall silent as I come around the corner but I look only at Christian who is staring at me, mouth agape in shock.

“A-Ana,” He stutters. “You changed your hair.”

“Yeah,” I say, attempting to smile but feeling tears beginning to rise. The look on Christian’s face isn’t a happy one and I know it shouldn’t bother me, I know that hair is something that can be fixed, but for some reason, probably due to period hormones, or the stress from being injured this week, or the exhaustion from sparring against the evil bitch troll, I’m suddenly humiliated.

“Excuse me,” I say quickly, trying to cover up the break in my voice, and I turn around and hurry up the stairs. There is a scrape of a chair on linoleum and I know Christian is following me. By the time I reach my bathroom, I’m in full hysterics, which is made worse because I can see my reflection in the mirror.

“Ana, what’s wrong?” Christian asks, coming up and engulfing me into his chest.

“She did this,” I wail. “I just wanted a cut and some lowlights and then I turned around and I was blonde. You said you liked brunettes and then she did this to me.”

“Elena did this?” He asks, anger rising in his voice.

I nod my head and he exhales in disbelief.

“Well that crosses the line. Don’t worry, baby. I’ll handle it.”

“I’m sorry, Christian. I’ll change it back when I get back to Vegas.”

“Hey,” He says, looking deeply into my eyes. “You’re beautiful. You could be blonde, brunette, a redhead, or shave your head bald if you wanted to and I would still think you were the most beautiful woman in the world.”

He puts his fingers under my chin and tilts my head up so he can kiss me. A deep passionate kiss that radiates through me and washes my despair away. When he pulls away, I smile up at him and he smiles back.

“That’s better,” He says. “Now come downstairs and get something to eat. This is our last night here and I don’t want anything to ruin it.”

I nod my head and follow him down the stairs. We spend the night playing board games with Mia, Kate, Elliot, and Ethan, but when Grace, Carrick, and Elena and Mr. Lincoln go to bed, Christian tells everyone he’s tired and asks me to come upstairs with him. I shrug, take his hand and allow him to lead me upstairs. I go to brush my teeth to get ready for bed, and while I stare morosely at the blonde hair in the mirror, Christian comes into the bathroom and grabs a towel, looking purposefully at me.

“Are you bleeding?” He asks.

“Uh… a little,” I reply, confused. “Why? Do you want to have sex?”

“Yes,” He says, and he leaves the bathroom without another word. I look after him, wondering if he’s serious. He doesn’t return though and when I’m finished in the bathroom and walk back into our room. He’s standing next to the bed, already naked, typing on his phone. The moment he sees me tough, he immediately drops the Blackberry, crosses the room, and assaults me with a passionate, bruising kiss. He breaks away only long enough to pull my shirt over my head, toss it onto the bed, and pull me back in.

I grasp his face while he pushes the band of my yoga pants down past my behind so that they fall to the floor. The ferocity of his passion immediately wipes away the embarrassment, the anger, and everything else I feel but desire for him. His hands slide down, grasping my behind, and he pulls me up so that I’m wrapped completely around him. He walks across the room but instead of lying me across the bed, he pushes me roughly against the wall, and I cry out in a mixture of surprise and deep, carnal lust. I can feel his erection growing beneath me as he pins me against the wall with his hips.

A moan escapes me as his hand cups my breast and his fingers begin rolling and tugging my nipples, sending my senses exploding in hundreds of different directions at once. His lips capture mine again and while I succumb to his demanding tongue, he reaches down, positions himself at my entrance, and slams into me. I cry out and arch my back against the wall, bucking my hips out towards him.

“That’s right, baby,” He says. “I want to hear you.”

With a savagery I’ve never seen from him before, he strokes in and out of me, taking me so hard a voice in the back of my mind wonders if he will damage the wall, and in that moment I know what he’s doing.

I’ll fuck you against this wall if she wants to play games with me.

His words from earlier in the week come back to me. He’s sending her a message and in this moment, I’m just petty enough to let him. So I succumb to his demanding rhythm, not bothering to muffle my cries of ecstasy.

“Fuck, Anastasia,” He growls. “Baby, you feel so good.”

“Christian!” I moan, feeling myself nearing my orgasm.

“Oh no, baby, I’m not finished with you yet,” He says, slowing down. I whimper and try to grind against him.

“Christian, please!” I cry, my need for him spiraling out of control.

“I love hearing you say my name, Anastasia. You sound fucking so sexy,” He says.

When the quickening deep inside me calms, he begins his furious rhythm again and it isn’t long before the crushing waves of pleasure that promise release rise within me again. I’m breathing too loudly but I don’t care. I feel a need for him now that simply has to be satisfied.

“Fuck baby, I’m close,” He growls. “Come for me, Anastasia.”

He grips my legs tightly, holding me still so he can move in and out of me easily. I grasp onto him, wrapping my arms around his neck to hold myself up. I can feel my muscles begin to weaken as I climb higher and higher.

“Come on, Anastasia. Give it to me,” He orders and as if my body could hear his command, I explode, feeling my insides convulse as my body is consumed with pleasure.

“Thank fuck,” He gasps as I quiver around him and he is able to find his own release, pouring himself into me. I’m panting and covered in sweat, reeling from my orgasm. Looking down into his gray eyes that blaze up at me in awe, I lean down and kiss him again. He holds me there, against the wall, tenderly kissing me before bringing me down. I see him glance at the wall once with a satisfied smirk, and then he sweeps me away into the bed.

Next Chapter

The pain killers do their job a little too well over the next day or so. I feel like I’m out of it most of the time, but by Wednesday, the nagging ache in my shoulder has nearly completely faded and when I wake up in the morning to Christian’s offering of more pills, I decline.

“You’re feeling better?” He asks.

“Yes,” I tell him. I sit up, feeling overly groggy from multiple days of sleeping way too many hours. “I need to take a shower and get out of this room. What is everyone else doing today?”

“They’re out on the mountain.”

“Should we join them?” I ask dubiously, not sure I really want to go back out on the slopes.

“No,” He says sternly, and I feel a little relieved.

“Can we go out and do something else? We could go sledding or on one of those carriage rides we saw going through town.”

“I don’t think so, Anastasia,” He says. “You need some rest.”

“Christian, I’m fine! I feel great!”

“Good, then let’s do something else. Here. Where I don’t have to worry about you,” He says, using a tone meant to end the discussion. I roll my eyes but don’t push it anymore. We’ve only got a few more days here and I don’t want to spend that time fighting with him. He tips the pills back into the bottle and sets it on the nightstand. I follow him with my eyes as he moves across the room and pulls the white t-shirt he’s wearing over his head preparing for a shower. He walks towards the bathroom and as I watch the way his muscles move under his skin when he goes, I feel the irritation melt away.

“I have an idea of what we could do,” I say, trying my best to be seductive.

He stops and turns to look at me, not realizing what I’m saying until I purposefully bite down on my bottom lip.

“Oh no, Anastasia,” He says. “You’re supposed to be resting. My mom wants you to take it easy.”

“So be gentle,” I coax him. He sighs and shakes his head, but his smile is good humored.

“It’s seems I’ve created a monster, Miss Steele. It was only just over a week ago that you would have been thrilled by the prospect of having to read a book all afternoon.”

“There’s plenty of time to read books. We have today and tomorrow and then I’m going back to Vegas and you’re going back to Seattle and I won’t see you again until we go back to Cambridge.”

“We go back to Cambridge on Sunday.” he chuckles.

“That’s beside the point,” I argue.

“Get some rest, Anastasia.

I pout at him but he ignores me and continues into the bathroom. I hear the shower turn on and have to fight the urge to slip in with him. Instead, I put on a pair of sweatpants, dig through my bag for a suitable book, and make my way down to the kitchen to pour a bowl of cereal. Christian joins me twenty minutes later and we watch the news while we eat breakfast together.

Most of the day goes by fairly slowly as I fight boredom. I use every opportunity I can to prove to him that I feel better and to coax him back upstairs, but he’s unshakable. I can tell I have an effect on him every time I brush against him or bend over to pick something up off the ground, but by the end of the day, I’m still unable to change his mind about this new abstinence fatwa.

The others still aren’t home by 7:30 that night, but since I know they should be back soon, I decide I can help Grace out by making dinner. So, while Christian reads in front of the fire in the living room, I season some chicken to bake, steam some broccoli, and get to work on a creamy white sauce. Once the chicken is nearly cooked through, I put some bowtie pasta on the stove to boil and by the time the others get back from their day of skiing, I’m laying out dishes of chicken pasta on the dining room table.

“Oh thank god, I’m starving,” Elliot says, dropping his bag, boots, and skis by the door without care.

“Me too, and it looks great. Thank you, Ana,” Carrick agrees. I smile at him as we pile around the table. While we eat, the other’s recount their day of fun and I feel pinpricks of jealousy at their stories.

“This is delicious, baby,” Christian says, leaning over a kissing me appreciatively before turning back to his food.

“Ew,” Mia groans at her brother’s display of affection.

“Ew is right,” Elliot says, nudging Mia playfully in agreement.

“What? You don’t think your brother is cute?” I ask mockingly.

“Maybe…” Elliot says. He sets his fork down and concentrates hard on Christian, as if he is examining him. “I think he might be once you get past his hideous face and horrible personality. Yeah, maybe then.”

“Christian doesn’t have a horrible personality,” Mia says defensively. “He’s just mean to you because you’re a jerk.”

“Yeah, well he’s only nice to you because he knows you won’t be around long before Mom and Dad sell you on the black market for your organs,” Elliot says, and despite the fact it may be one of the lamest comebacks I’ve ever heard, I have to stifle my laugh in a napkin. I guess that proves how badly I need to get out of this house.

“Elliot,” Grace says, her tone a warning.

“Sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to blow your cover,” Elliot says.

“You guys are acting like you’re thirteen,” Kate says disapprovingly.

“I am thirteen,” Mia says, and I can no longer stifle my giggle. Christian looks down at me, amused, and then shakes his head.

“You’ll have to excuse her, she’s been on painkillers for days,” He teases me.

“Or just stuck in the house with nothing to do,” I say, gently nudging him in the ribs.

“Are you feeling better, Ana?” Grace asks.

“Yes, much. I think I’m good as new.”

“Awesome! Then you’re coming out with us tomorrow?” Ethan asks, and I shake my head.

“I think I left whatever desire I have to ski on Hyde Park,” I say, and he nods his head but Elliot turns to Christian, a look of near panic crossing his face.

“Christian, you’re going to come out, right?” He asks urgently. “We haven’t skied together all week, and this is probably our last chance this season.”

“And leave Ana here alone all day? I don’t think so,” Christian says. I frown, realizing in that moment as whiny as I have been about being bored, that he’s been stuck here too. It may be a good idea, how ever much I hate to admit it, for me to take it slow here at the cabin, but Christian shouldn’t miss out on the fun. It wasn’t his fault I fell… and that’s when I realize, he’s punishing himself for me getting hurt. That’s what all of this is, even the no sex thing. He’s sulking.

“Christian, I’ll be fine. Go! Have fun!” I beg him, but he shakes his head and I frown, feeling as though this confirms my assumption.

“I could take a day off,” Kate offers. I smile at her and turn to Christian.

“See, I’ll be fine. Go out and enjoy yourself,” I tell him.

“Seriously, I think I might be a little skied out,” Kate adds. “My body could probably use the rest. I haven’t been this sore in a long time.”

“That’s not the skiing, baby,” Elliot says.

“Elliot Trevelyan-Grey!” Grace exclaims.

“That’s enough, Elliot,” Carrick says, in the same tone Ray used to use with me when I got in trouble when I was little. Elliot shrugs and continues eating, but I see him raise his eyebrows suggestively at Kate, who shakes her head with exasperation.

“I really don’t mind, Christian,” Kate continues. “If you want to go out and ski with Elliot and Ethan, Ana and I can hang out here and watch movies or something. Ooh, let’s binge watch Grey’s Anatomy all day.”

“Yes,” I say seriously, pointing at her across the table in acknowledgement for her excellent idea.

“I’m not going to leave you, Ana,” Christian says.

“Then you’re watching Grey’s Anatomy, ’cause that’s happening,” I tell him, and him and he rolls his eyes.

“You’ll stay here all day?” He asks Kate.

“Cross my heart,” Kate replies.

“And you’ll just be watching TV? Nothing too strenuous?”

“Not a single thing,” I add.

“Looks like I’m heading out with you in the morning, Elliot,” Christian says after a brief hesitation. I smile, feeling I’ve gained a small victory until Grace speaks up.

“You girls can’t just sit inside all day and watch TV,” she says. “You’re on vacation. Go, do something! Enjoy yourselves before you have to go back to school.”

“Mom, you said Ana needed rest,” Christian says, immediately defensive.

“She says she feels fine, Christian,” Grace says dismissively. “If she’s over the residual pain, I think that she’s right and she’s probably good as new.”

“Probably doesn’t make me feel great,” He says.

“Well, going out doesn’t have to be something strenuous. Why don’t we have a girls day in town?” Elena suggests. “We could go to the salon and the spa in the resort.”

“If you’re not going to stay in and watch a stupid TV show, then I’m staying here,” Christian says, trying to head her off, but she counteracts him.

“Like you’d have any more fun in the salon with us girls, Christian. Ana is right, you should go and enjoy yourself. Heaven knows you haven’t been able to all week staying here taking care of her.”

“Can I come?” Mia asks, cutting off whatever Christian was going to say.

“Of course you can dear. I think it would be just wonderful for us all to get away and have a little pampering,” Grace says. “Kate is right, all this skiing has my back tied up in knots and I’d love a massage. Besides, I think a spa day would do wonders for Ana’s recovery.”

“It’s settled then, while the boys hit the mountain, the girls will stay back at the resort and rejuvenate ourselves,” Elena says.

“Whimps,” Elliot says. The conversation moves on as Mr. Lincoln begins to tell a story of something embarrassing that happened to Grace on the ski lift today, but I have a hard time focusing. I’m glad Christian is going to get out and have fun, but as I begin to mentally calculate the cost of this spa day we’re now having tomorrow, I feel a sense of dread cross over me. I haven’t spent any of my last paycheck from the library so I think I could afford a few things, but I honestly have no idea how much spa services in Aspen cost. There is the check Bob gave me for Christmas that I deposited before I came…

“What’s wrong, Ana?” Christian asks softly.

“Nothing, I’m just… thinking about tomorrow,” I tell him.

“If you don’t think you’re ready, I’ll stay here with you. Don’t let them push you into something you think is too much,” He says.

“It’s not that. I really do feel fine, Christian, and I want you to go out and have fun,” I say. I look up at Elena, conscious of her looking at me and not wanting this conversation to go any further with her listening. Christian notices me looking at her and turns back to me, guessing wrong at what I’m worried about.

“Just stay with Kate all day and she won’t be able to say anything to you,” He says, leaning over and speaking so low only I can hear him.

“I know,” I say, turning to face him. “I’ll be fine.” He narrows his eyes at me for a moment while trying to rationalize my mood and as I stare into his eyes, I see the moment he figures it out.

“I’ll give you my credit card,” He says. “You don’t have to worry about these kinds of things anymore, Ana.”

“Christian, I don’t want your credit card. I’ll figure it out,” I say shaking my head and turning back to my nearly empty plate of pasta. I look up and see Elena looking between us, a smug smile painted across her face.

“I don’t know, Dad. We might have to go easy tomorrow. Christian has barely been out all week,” Elliot says pointedly, thankfully taking Christian’s attention off of me. “I think he’s gone soft.”

“That just means he’s going to be more limber than you, son,” Carrick says. “What do you think, Christian? Ready to show us all how it’s done on the slopes tomorrow?”

Christian turns his eyes pointedly down at the now empty plate in front of him, ignoring his father’s question. There is an awkward silence that falls over the table.

“Christian,” Grace says. “Your father asked you a question.”

“Oh I heard him,” Christian says, looking up to his mother. Grace frowns and her eyes narrow with disappointment, but Carrick stops her before she can say anything.

“It’s fine, Grace. Just… leave it alone,” He says. “What are you kids planning for tonight?”

“I don’t know,” Elliot says, clearly grateful for the ease of the tension. “I think we’re all pretty beat so maybe just a movie or a board game or something.”

“I’ve been doing nothing but watching movies and reading all day,” I say, disappointed. “Let’s do something fun.” I see Christian’s alarmed expression as he turns to look at me, but I ignore him.

“Yeah, I agree. What did you have in mind, Ana?” Kate asks.

“I don’t know…” I say.

“We could build a giant snowman,” Mia suggests.

“Or a snowball fight,” Ethan says.

“Yes!” Elliot exclaims. “A snowball fight! I am so on board with that.”

“Boys vs. Girls,” Mia add excitedly.

After a general murmur of agreement, I look at Christian, who is staring down at me doubtfully.

“You’re sure you’re feeling better?” He asks.

“Positive,” I tell him.

“Mom?”

“I don’t see any reason why not. As long as she feels comfortable.”

“Please, Christian?” Mia pleads.

He looks at me worriedly once more but, eventually, he nods his head.

“Excellent,” Elliot says, picking up his plate and taking it to clean in the sink before rushing upstairs to change. We follow after him, Christian entwining his fingers with mine as he pulls me up the stairs behind him.

“Are you ready to lose, Grey?” I ask as I slip into snow clothes. “I know it’s not something you’re used to so I want to make sure you’re mentally prepared.”

“There’s a reason I never lose, Anastasia,” He smirks back at me. “I’m ruthless and that won’t change just because we’re on opposite teams.”

“Good. I wouldn’t want to win thinking you’d thrown the game,” I say. He smiles and reaches out to pull me close to him, capturing my lips and kissing me deeply. I surrender for a moment, kissing him back with a furor born from the afternoon of sexual repression.

“If you’re really feeling better, we could skip the snowball fight,” He says suggestively, his hands running up my sides to my breasts. I slap his hand and squirm out of his arms.

“What’s the matter?” He asks.

“I’ll need full concentration on the battle field, Grey. I can’t allow you to get in my head. Besides, you’re the enemy now and I can’t be caught sleeping with the enemy.”

“Well if that’s how you’re going to be Miss Steele, you should know that I’ve been known to take advantage of my POWs.”

“Then I better not get caught, Mr. Grey,” I say. I hear Ethan and Elliot rough housing in the hallway and know that they’re getting ready to start. With a challenging look at Christian, I begin backing up towards the door and he looks like he’s ready for a chase until his phone begins ringing from his pocket. He takes out his Blackberry, and I think he’s going to reject the call until he looks down at it.

“Fuck, it’s Ros,” He says regretfully. “I actually do need to take this. Go ahead, I’ll be down in a minute.”

“You sure?” I ask, slightly disappointed.

“Yes, I won’t be long.”

I nod my head and turn for the hall, closing the door behind me while he answers the phone. I walk down the hall alone, as I assume the others are already outside, and once I get to the stairs, I can hear voices coming from the kitchen on the opposite side of the wall. This normally wouldn’t bother me except the first word I’m able to distinguish is my name. I stop to listen and realize it’s Elena speaking, so I sit on the step and try to hear what she’s saying.

“I’m not saying that I don’t think Anastasia has the potential to be a lovely girl, Carrick. I’m saying she’s dangerous. You know what Christian has gone through in the past, are you ready to open him up to the heartbreak of a girl who could be just using him to make up for her parents shortcomings?”

“I don’t think that’s the case. They seem very happy together. Christian seems happy and that’s not something Grace and I see a lot of,” Carrick says.

“Of course he’s happy,” Elena replies with exasperation. “They’re in the beginning stages of their relationship where it’s nothing but new experiences and hot sex. What happens when they have their first fight or god forbid, Anastasia finds someone even more gullible with more money?”

I hear footsteps behind me and turn to see Christian coming down the stairs. I wave my hand, silently telling him to be quiet, and point at the wall. He looks at me with confusion, but he listens too, and the moment he hears Elena and his father talking, I see him lean closer into the wall.

“Elena, I know your concerns and Grace and I are both touched to see how much you care for the kids, especially Christian, but I think your wrong. I really do feel that she likes him.”

“Well, why wouldn’t she?” Elena asks. “Did you see the skis he bought for her? The boots, the jacket… not to mention the earrings he sent to her for Christmas. What did those set you back, $2,000? $3,000 maybe?”

“Elliot spent the same amount on Kate for that Chanel bag he filled with plane ticket vouchers,” Carrick argues.

“Is Elliot planning on giving Kate his credit card to go to the spa tomorrow? I heard Christian offer his to Ana at dinner and she didn’t say no.”

“Wasn’t it your idea to go to the spa? Ana wanted to watch TV and you and Grace chose something else that she can’t afford. What is she supposed to do, Elena? Is this about you worrying for Christian or is it just because she doesn’t have the blessings that we have and you think that puts her beneath all of us?”

“I just worry about her intentions and what a broken heart would do to Christian,” Elena says defensively. “He’s made so much progress over the last few years and I don’t want to see it destroyed. That girls is dangerous.”

“How much money do you make?” Carrick says, a hint of anger in his voice.

“Excuse me?”

“What’s your yearly salary, Elena? And not what is your household income, I don’t care what Andrew makes, what about you?”

“That’s an entirely different situation all together. Andrew and I are married…”

“And when you met him? You were a stewardess, right? What was the salary of a stewardess in the 80s? About $12,000 a year?”

“Carrick…” Elena begins but he cuts her off.

“What do you want me to do? Ground him? Tell him he can’t be with her? He’s an adult, Elena and he gets to make his own decisions.”

“He relies on you financially. Perhaps if you just lowered his credit limits…”

“Are you crazy? Jesus, Elena. No, this discussion is over,” Carrick says, interrupting her. “If Christian wants to be with Ana then Grace and I are both thrilled for him and I’m not going to listen to this talk anymore. The only thing I care about is my son’s happiness and the only thing I see when I see Christian with Ana, is a man in love. We didn’t know if he could have that after what happened to him and I’ll be damned if I’m the one to take that away from him.”

Love?

“How do you know he’s happy? He hasn’t even spoken to you once since Thanksgiving!” Elena argues.

“He hasn’t spoken to me because of all of this! Now, damn it Elena, I’ve had enough. Don’t bring it up again!”

Carrick storms forward into the living room, crossing the dining area to the window, and Christian and I hastily stand up so that he won’t realize we were listening. I take his hand, and together we slowly walk the rest of the way down the stairs as casually as possible, nearly bumping into Elena as we reach the first floor. She glances down at our interlocked fingers, scowls, and follows after Carrick to the living room taking a long drink of amber liquid as she goes.

Christian pulls me quickly through the living room and out the back door and I get a last glimpse of Elena settling down on the sofa next to Mr. Lincoln before the door closes behind me. Outside, it’s nearly completely dark and snow has begun to fall. Huge, white flakes drift lazily around us and I note that it’s going to be difficult to see before too long.

Christian and I take the stairs down to the hot tub and open a gate that releases us onto the thick white blanket of snow that covers the yard. Elliot, Kate, Ethan, and Mia are already there waiting for us, and the moment we come into view, Elliot starts throwing out instructions.

“We’ve agreed to an hour of prep-time,” He says. “You can construct your barricade and build up your arsenal in that time, but the second the hour is up, it’s war. Ready or not. First team to forfeit loses.”

“I’m going to make you eat those words,” Kate says.

Elliot nods his head, accepting the challenge and we split off. Kate wastes no time before issuing orders. We begin building a wall to crouch down behind while Mia starts making dozens and dozens of snowballs.

“Great job, Mia!” Kate says, as she examines the huge mound of perfectly packed snowballs tucked neatly behind our newly constructed snow fortress. “The boys won’t know what-“

Kate’s words cut off as an oversized snowball collides with the side of her head. The three of us whip around and see Elliot standing on the other side of a four foot high wall of snow, gently tossing and catching a second snowball in his hand. I don’t see Ethan or Christian.

“Time’s up,” Elliot sneers.

Kate glares at him and turns to give a command to start the fight, but Mia is way ahead of her. With lightning speed she begins hurling snowballs over the wall at her brother, hitting him twice in the face before he has time to react. The snow ball rolls out of his hand so in order to retaliate, he dives behind the barrier he’s built to retrieve more ammo. It takes only seconds but he stands up with a snowball in each hand and begins hurling them at us, bending over to collect another as soon as one leaves his hand. Elliot’s attacks are unyielding and I am hit several times before I fall flat to the ground in order to avoid the freezing barrage of snowballs.

“Throw something, Ana!” Kate calls, picking up snowballs with Mia and hurling them over the wall. I squeal and begin digging into the snow, making snowballs as I need and launching them at Elliot.

“Is that all you got?” Elliot says, laughing maniacally as he continues to attack.

“Where are Ethan and Christian?” Mia asks.

“They’ve got to be behind the wall. Maybe they’re the ones making snowballs?” Kate says.

“Well this just isn’t going to work!” Mia says. She stands up and jumps our barrier, batting snowballs out of the way as she hurls herself at Elliot. He catches her and falls to the ground and Kate and I stop our attacks to watch as they wrestle around. Mia puts up a strong fight but she’s no match for Elliot. He holds her to the ground and begins rubbing snow into her face.

“Give up little sister!” He commands as she giggles beneath him.

“No!” She screams, but she’s unable to scramble out from under him.

“We’ve got to help her,” Kate says. I nod and we move to jump the wall, but before we make it over, someone reaches out from behind us, grabbing Kate’s arm and pulling her back.

“I don’t think so,” Ethan says, and he too tackles her to the ground rubbing snow in her face. I whirl around and see Christian standing only a few steps behind me. They must have gone around the house to sneak up on us while we were distracted building our fort. I back up into the wall of snow, groping around the ground for a snowball to throw at Christian.

“Well, what do we have here?” He asks as he stalks towards me.

“Stay back!” I warn, unable to keep the laughter out of my voice.

“Oh no,” He laughs. “I warned you, no holds barred. But, if you come quietly, I’ll go easy on you.”

My fingers grip a snowball and I hold it up threateningly, causing Christian to stop in his tracks.

“Think about that, Anastasia,” He warns. As hard as I can, I bring my arm back and hurl the snowball forward, aiming at Christian’s face. He brings an arm up, blocking my projectile, and the moment the snowball bursts on his coat, he dives at me, grabbing me around the waist and slowly bringing me down into a fluffy snow bank and holding me down.

“Ahh!” I cry with delight as we sink into the snow. Christian sits up, keeping me on the ground between thighs and picks up a huge handful of snow.

“Surrender,” He orders.

“No!” I squeak, bringing my arms up to shield by face as I laugh uncontrollably beneath him. A shower of snow falls down over me as Christian dumps handful after handful of snow on my face. I try my best to squirm out from under him but I can’t move. I can see Kate a few feet away from me desperately trying to escape from under Ethan but she’s trapped too. It seems it may be a lost cause.

“I surrender!” I cry, spitting snow from my lips.

“What was that?” Christian asks, his hand pausing in midair while he waits for confirmation.

“I surrender, you win!”

Christian drops the snow into the bank next to us and moves my arms away from my face so he can kiss me.

“Your face is cold,” He says.

“I wonder why!” I reply. He laughs and helps me up from the ground. We save Mia from Elliot, who is now whitewashing her just for fun.

“You’re okay?” Christian asks. “I didn’t hurt you.”

“Just my pride,” I say, leaning in to kiss him once more.

“Let’s get some Cocoa,” Kate suggests. I look over at her red face and feel a shiver rock through me. Yes, something warm would be nice.

“Yeah and then we can get in the hot tub,” Ethan agrees.

We all make the trek up to the house, emerging through the back door covered in snow, and truly looking like war veterans.

“How’d it go?” Grace asks.

“We killed the girls,” Elliot says proudly.

“I can see that,” Grace says. “Poor Mia looks nearly froze to death.”

“We came in for cocoa,” Kate says.

“One cup, Mia, and then you need to get to bed. It’s late already,” Grace says.

“Mom…” Mia complains.

“No arguments,” She continues. “Hurry up.”

After thoroughly cleaning all the snow from our shoes and clothes on the tile by the door, we trudge across the dining room into the kitchen and begin steaming milk in a large pot on the stove. A small handful of marshmallows and I find myself very content, leaning over the kitchen counter listening to Elliot and Ethan argue who would win in a fight, Batman or Captain America.

“Alright, Mia. Time for bed,” Grace says as she, Carrick, Mr. Lincoln, and Elena come up behind us from the living room. She turns to Elliot and wraps him in a hug. “We’re going to turn in for the night too, dear. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Night,” Elliot says.

“Good Night, Mom,” Christian says, kissing his mother on the cheek.

“Good Night, Christian,” She replies, and turns to take Carrick’s hand to walk up the stairs.

“Dad?” Christian says, causing everyone to stop and look at him in shock.

“Yes?” Carrick replies, clearly just as surprised as the rest of us to have Christian suddenly speaking to him again.

“Good Night,” Christian says. Carrick’s faces breaks into a smile.

“Good Night, Son,” He says, and we watch as he disappears around the corner with Grace.

Next Chapter

I don’t know how I’m stirred awake, but the peaceful darkness of my dreams fades away and I’m suddenly aware of the dim light of the dawn streaming into the room around me. I’m extremely warm and comfortable wrapped in Christian’s arms, and as he presses himself against me and I feel his erection against my backside, I realize what has awaken me.

“Anastasia,” He whispers as he runs his nose up the crook of my neck. I moan appreciatively at the sensation of his breath as it caresses my skin and the feel of his hands as they brush down my stomach, under my tank top, and around to my breast. He groans and leans farther over me. Rolling onto my back, I turn to face him just in time for his lips to take mine. My mouth opens to allow his tongue entrance, and when his fingers pinch my left nipple, making it erect, I cry out and feel his teeth sink gently into my bottom lip.

I bring my hands into his hair and gently massage the roots of his scalp while his mouth continues to claim mine, pouring passion into me that is electric and overwhelming. I feel fire erupt inside of me as my need for him grows. He quickly removes his hand and pulls down the thin straps of the tank top I’m wearing, exposing my breasts to the cool air of the room. I feel both of my nipples stand to attention and, as the cotton fabric is pulled away, he takes my left nipple into his mouth, gently sucking and swirling his tongue around it. I writhe beneath him as the sensation of cold air being replaced with warm saliva sends waves of pleasure crashing over me.

“Christian,” I moan, and he smiles against my breast when his name crosses my lips. Slowly, he reaches down and hooks his fingers over the elastic band of my pajama bottoms and pulls them down, bringing my panties with them. In a synchronized movement he lifts himself above me and I bring my legs together so he may easily remove my bottoms. He callously tosses them aside and quickly brings his hands back to my body, gripping me tightly, and despite his body being pressed to mine, I still feel the need to have him closer to me.

His fingers travel down and lightly brush over my clitoris, and as he continues down, finding the wetness waiting for him between my legs, he lets out a low, guttural moan of approval. His fingers swirl around, and then he lifts them to my mouth, pushing his fingers between my lips so that I can taste my own arousal. I suck and brush my tongue over them until he removes his fingers and kisses me deeply once more. His tongue explores my mouth as if he’s searching out for the traces of my arousal that he has left behind.

“I can taste you,” He whispers in a low, husky voice. “It’s intoxicating.”

I kiss him again, simultaneously reaching down to grasp his erection through his pajama bottoms. He growls and moves to remove them, so that I can grip him unhindered. He reaches over to the bedside table and opens the drawer, pulling out a ribbon of blue foil packets. With expert hands, he rips open the top packet and reaches down to roll the condom over his erection. Grasping himself tightly, he guides his erection to my center, lightly sliding it up and down my opening for lubrication. Each time the tip of his erection brushes over my clitoris, I feel an intense surge of pleasure and find myself whimpering at the contact. He looks down at me, his gray eyes filled with burning desire, as he pushes into me, giving me no time to adjust to the intrusion before he slowly begins to pump in and out.

I feel my legs open wider in an attempt to give him better access, to help him push deeper inside of me. He obliges my silent request and sinks into me until he’s pressed entirely against me. He stops, fully buried to the hilt, and while I squirm to try and increase the friction, he holds me still and begins to slowly circle his hips around. I can feel each movement of his erection as he massages my inner walls. He pulls back at an achingly slow pace before again easing into me completely. It’s slow and sensual but lacks the carnal friction which always pushes me over the edge.

“Faster, Christian,” I plead.

“No. I want you slow, baby.”

“Please!”

“Just feel me, Anastasia. Feel this,” He says as again he circles his hips around.

I gasp at the sensation he’s giving me. Each long deliberate stroke gives me an opportunity to feel every glorious inch of him, allows me to appreciate the feeling of him slowly stretching me as he pushes deeper and deeper into me. The rhythm continues and I gradually begin to build. It’s not like the other orgasms he’s given me, where the pleasure blossoms so quickly it gets out of control and I explode. This is more deliberate. I can feel it building as I climb higher and higher, and although I know I’m not there yet, that remarkable moment where I know I’m close is drawn out, holding me on the edge, promising release. The anticipation is overwhelming and I pant appreciatively.

“Tell me what you want, Anastasia,” He says.

“You, Christian. This,” I whine.

“Do you want to come, baby?” He ask.

“Yes,” I breathe.

“Tell me.”

“What?”

“Tell me you want me to make you come.”

“Christian…” I hesitate, knowing that he knows how close I am and that he’s purposefully keeping me from falling over the precipice intentionally. “Christian, please.”

“Please what?”

“Please let me come. I want you to make me come, Christian. I’m so close.”

“Good girl,” He says, leaning down and kissing me. While his lips move with mine, his hand reaches down and circles my clitoris in a firm slow circle while he continues to push slowly into me. I feel myself climb higher and higher, my body lifting from the mattress and pressing into him until finally, my nerve endings detonate and I begin to pulse around him in the most intense orgasm I’ve ever had. It rockets through my whole body and I feel the tingling pleasure everywhere.

“Yes,” He hisses as I grip his erection in vice like pulses. “God, you’re so tight when you come.” His pace quickens as he pushes me on and on, refusing to let me come down.

“Christian!” I cry out. It’s starting to become more that I can take and I feel as though if he weren’t lying on top of me, forcing me to absorb the pleasure, I’d be thrashing around violently trying to escape the intensity. As it is, I lie still, being driven mad by the ecstasy.

“Don’t stop, baby,” He says. “I want to come with you.”

His face tightens with exertion as he thrusts harder until he too, empties himself inside of me. Finally, when his pace slows, I feel the pulsing euphoria fade and I’m left breathless and debilitated. Every part of my body feels weak. He must be spent too as he lies on top of me, taking a moment to regain his strength. Eventually, he rolls off of me and again wraps me into his arms.

“I love this with you, Anastasia.”

“Mmm,” I mumble back. “Is it always like this?”

“I don’t know,” He says. “It’s never been like this for me.”

I smile at the thought and snuggle into him, perfectly content to lay here in his arms. I silently decide I’d rather just stay here, in our post sex exaltation, rather than head back to the mountain, but we lie together for only a minute before three loud knocks pound their way into our secluded happiness.

“It’s 06:30! Let’s go!” I hear Elliot call, and I giggle.

“You weren’t kidding about that break of dawn thing,” I say, making Christian laugh.

“No, I wasn’t. Are you ready for another day on the slopes?”

“I can’t wait,” I tell him.

We reluctantly roll out of bed and amble our way into the jack and jill style bathroom we share with Ethan. Christian locks the door to Ethan’s room and we climb into a quick, hot shower together, sated enough by the previous lovemaking that we are able to actually use the time to get clean.

Christian insists I dry my hair, so while he gets dressed in the room, I take the dryer out from under the sink and meticulously blow out my hair until it’s no longer damp. Once I’m finished, I slip into warm clothes and ski pants, put my hair up into a bun on my head, and follow Christian out of the room.

I turn around to close the door behind me and as we’re about to walk down the hall, the door to the Lincoln’s room opens and Mr. Lincoln steps out, Elena close behind him. When he sees us, Mr. Lincoln immediately turns red and offers us an embarrassed good morning. It confuses me for a moment until I see the look of venomous fury Elena gives me and I realize, they must have heard us this morning.

“Good Morning, Mrs. Lincoln,” I say in an overly bright voice.

Her eyes narrow and I see a tremble of rage roil over her, but she doesn’t say anything back as she follows Mr. Lincoln down the stairs. Christian winks down at me and I giggle as we continue on down the hall.

When Christian and I make it to the first floor, everyone is sitting around the breakfast table. I take a seat next to Mia and help myself to a croissant, some scrambled eggs, and bacon. We eat quickly, under Elliot’s stern urging, and then make our way to the SUV. Carrick allows us to take the larger of the two cars so Christian, Elliot, Kate, Ethan, Mia and I can all ride to the resort together though once we arrive, we have to separate.

“Sure you won’t come with us today, bro?” Elliot asks, as he forces his boot securely down on the ski.

“Possibly,” Christian replies, unsure. “Maybe later today Ana will be ready for the Apple Strudel run, but not now.”

“Well, have fun I guess…” Elliot says as if he doubts that any fun could be had on the beginners run, and he, Kate, Ethan, and Mia ski off to the lift on the far side of the open area. I frown after them, wishing I was better so that we could all go off together, but Christian assures me again that he doesn’t mind.

“I’d rather spend the day alone with you than with the constant bragging of Elliot.” He says. I giggle, imagining Elliot at a run, calling for everyone to watch him as a child would.

“I love to hear you giggle, Ana.” Christian says with a smile.

“Then tell more jokes,” I tease him. He chuckles and rolls his eyes before grabbing my hand and leading me to the chair lift of the run we did yesterday.

By mid-afternoon, I am entirely independent heading down the mountain side and, besides the mini make-out sessions on the chair lift, even I’m starting to get bored. I can’t imagine how Christian must feel at this point, but he says he’s not ready to take me on a harder run yet.

“You need to practice your cuts,” He tells me. “The grade is much steeper on Apple Strudel and you’ll need to be able to slow yourself down by cutting a zig zag pattern in the snow. If you ski straight the way you have been here, you’ll go too fast and you’ll lose control.” I nod and ski off to the same chair lift to once again take the same run. This time down, I only use the slow cutting technique he showed me this morning, digging my pole into the snow and swinging my skis around so that they are horizontal in front of me. It’s not very easy and I can feel my muscles getting fatigued as I head down the slope, but I’m not bad at it.

“Like that?” I ask at the bottom of the hill.

“Yes,” He says. “Now just do that ten or so more times and we’ll talk about going on a harder run.”

I groan and roll my eyes he furrows his brow at me.

“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” He says. “Do you want to get hurt? All I’m trying to do is make sure you stay safe on the mountain.”

“I know, I just want to do something harder,” I complain.

“I know, you’ll get there,” He says. I take a deep, calming breath and push myself off towards the lift, but before I reach it, Kate, Elliot, Mia, and Ethan race across to meet us.

“Hey, Ana. How’s it going?” Kate asks.

“Good. I’m ready to move on but Christian says I need more practice,” I complain.

“Maybe it’s not you, maybe he’s not ready. What’s the matter, bro? Losing your nerve?” Elliot jokes, and Christian glares at him.

“If you want to go on a more difficult run, I can ski with Ana for a while,” Kate offers. I see the hesitation in Christian’s eyes, knowing he probably doesn’t want to leave me alone, but also probably desperately wanting to do something more to his skill level.

“I’ll be fine,” I assure him. “Go! Have fun! I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Do you want to go on a couple of runs with me?” Christian asks, turning to Mia. She smiles and nods enthusiastically.

“I’ll be back in a couple hours and, by then, you should be ready to move on,” Christian promises. “Keep practicing your cuts and don’t do anything stupid.”

I make a face at him but he simply smiles a disarming, crooked smile and then takes off with his sister to the far lift. I watch them until Kate begins pulling my arm, attempting to drag me towards the smaller lift. I go up the mountain with Kate, Ethan, and Elliot in the chair behind us, and once we’re all together again on the summit, we head off down the gentle slope of the hill. Kate watches me carefully, acknowledging when I’m doing something well and offering gentle critique when I could be doing something better. I watch Elliot employ the same difficulty-increasing techniques Christian has been using. He doesn’t comment much on my newly aquired cutting skills and I hope that’s because I look so natural doing it.

“Great job, Ana!” Kate says when we reach the bottom of the run.

“Yeah, I think Christian is being a little overprotective,” Elliot says. “Let’s go do something more fun.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea…” I say hesitantly.

“Oh Ana, you’ll be fine!” Kate says. “And if you need help we’ll be right there.”

“And we’ll bring you back before Christian is done so he won’t even know. Then we’ll tell him how awesome you’ve been doing and we can all ski together.”

“Okay,” I agree, won over by their sentiments and my own desire to explore more of the mountain. “As long as we’re back before he is.”

Kate smiles and nods her head in the direction of the lift they’ve taken several times. I’m whisked off into the air with Kate, smiling at the new surroundings below me, though I’m a little intimidated as we’re much higher off the ground. This chair moves much faster than the other one did and it gives me a scared kind of thrill, like a ride at a carnival. Kate fills the silence of the ride with helpful pointers of what to do if I get in trouble. I listen carefully, trying to remember everything she says, though once my skis touch the snow at the top of the run, everything falls out of my head. I look around for a sign pointing to the direction of the trail, but Elliot forges onward, around a corner to another chair lift.

“We’re going higher?” I ask.

“I guess,” Kate says hesitantly. “Maybe he’s taking you to Apple Strudel? I’ve never taken that run, I’m not sure how to get there…”

I shrug, remembering that’s where Christian said he would take me next and follow after Elliot. We are pulled higher and higher up the mountain and I feel anxiety build within me. How long is this run? I turn to Kate who is looking around wildly as if she’s double checking her surroundings. Recognition dawns on her face and I watch a look of trepidation become quickly replaced by anger. She turns to look around at Elliot and Ethan behind us but we’re nearing the end of the lift so she doesn’t have time to say anything them. By the look on her face, I don’t think we’re coming up to a nice, easy run.

“What the hell are you thinking?” Kate rages the moment Elliot and Ethan are off the lift.

“What do you mean?” Elliot asks, taken aback by Kate’s anger.

“Hyde Park?” She screams. “Elliot, this is a black diamond run!”

“Yeah for like part if it. Once we get down to Prospector Gulch, it’s a blue rated trail.”

“Green, Elliot!” Kate yells. “We were looking for green! I thought you were taking her to Apple Strudel or Cakewalk or Expedition! This is for expert skiers.”

“Well, there’s only one way down,” Elliot says, but I see a hint of remorse cross his face. “We can help her.”

Kate narrows her eyes but doesn’t say anything more to Elliot. Instead she turns to me.

“We’re just going to go really slow down, okay. If we just take it nice and easy, you should be okay.”

“Should be?” I squeak.

“We’ll be fine,” Kate corrects herself. “Let’s just take it one step at a time.”

I nod and she sets off slowly down a path that is fairly flat and curves gently through the towering pines that line the trail.

This isn’t so bad. I think to myself. It’s beautiful up here and the air is so crisp and fresh. I can totally do this. I let myself relax, wondering why Christian was so worried about this when we come around a corner and there is a bowl like dip in front of us followed by a steep drop that, from this angle, looks practically vertical. There is no groomed trail the way I’m used to, only deep, untouched snow and hundreds of trees just waiting to be crashed into. My breath catches in my throat as I’m overcome by fear, how can anyone get down that on two pieces of plastic?

“You go first, Elliot,” Kate says nervously. “Slowly, so Ana can watch.”

He nods his head and leaps forward, pushing his skis over the mound preventing us from moving forward and immediately turns his skis to the side. Snow flies out in front of him as he makes his way down the first drop, coming to a stop only feet away from the base.

“See, Ana!” He calls back up to me. “Easy!”

I ignore him and watch as Ethan repeats his movement over the blockade.

“You should go before me,” Kate says. “I’ll be right behind you, just keep your skis to the side and lean into the mountain. Slowly, now.”

I ease up to the edge, feeling like I want to cry as I look down at the short, steep, round drop below me. Should I have mentioned that I’m terrified of heights before they brought me up here? I feel my head begin to swoon but I do my best to push it aside and concentrate. There’s only one way down and if I’m not going to hurt myself, I need laser focus.

With a deep breath, I urge myself forward and feel a disorienting feeling of falling, and a hard thud as I hit the ground below, snow sprays up into my face but I’m not hurt. I quickly flip my skis around and ease myself down next to Elliot so Kate can make the leap, and when she does, she studies the area around us trying to find the best way to go.

“That way,” She says, pointing to a narrow passage through the trees. Elliot makes a face but takes the easiest path possible down the mountainside. Slowly and steadily, Kate gets me through the first part of the run. It takes forever as we only move a few feet down the hill every couple minutes because Kate takes me in the most horizontal paths forward possible. I actually find that, since I’m not flying down the mountainside like the occasional skiers who pass us, the trees help me by giving me a reference point and an easy way to stop. But as soon as the trees begin to clear, I can really see how steep the run is and now there is nothing to get in my way if I need help stopping.

“Go down about 100 feet, then stop, and wait.” Kate says to Elliot. She looks worriedly at me as I carefully examine Elliot’s every move. He zig zags down the hill and while I watch him Christian’s words repeat in my head:

If you ski straight the way you have been here, you’ll go too fast and you’ll lose control.

I nod my head as if he’s standing next to me and again, edge myself down the slope. I force my skis to cut into the snow: left, right, left, right. It’s only a few seconds before I’m down to Elliot, digging the side of my skis into the snow to stop. Kate and Ethan follow after me and a pattern develops. Elliot skis a few hundred feet or so down the hill, I follow after him and Kate and Ethan bring up the rear.

“You’re doing great, Ana!” Kate calls, the tension in her voice diminished. I only barely hear her as I focus on Elliot down below me and cut my skis into the snow. Left, right, left, right. He skis a little farther down away from me each time and about halfway down the steep hill, there is a sharp turn in the run which I had previously thought was the end. But no, it keeps going. My muscles are protesting from the exertion of forcing my skis back and forth through the loose powder, a feeling probably exacerbated by the fear that keeps my muscles tense. Each time someone flies by me on the run, I feel as though I’m going to be swept away in their wake. But despite all my fear, I’m making it down okay.

“A little farther,” Elliot calls up to me as he skis a good football field away. I take a deep breath and lean forward. Left, right, left, right. The longer distance gives me more chance for speed and the faster I go, the harder it is to swing my skis around.

“Slow down, Ana!” Elliot calls, his eyes widening as I fly down the hill towards him. In panic, I push the front of my skis together to stop but the speed is too much and the tips of my skis cross over one another causing me to tumble forward. I hit the ground hard and begin to tumble down the grade. I lose a ski as I’m sent plummeting down the mountain side head over foot. Kate’s scared scream rings out somewhere but I can’t tell the direction and suddenly I’m terrified that I’m going to go over the side of the mountain. I begin to flail my arms wildly around, trying desperately to dig my fingers in the snow to stop myself but when I do stop, it’s because I hit something, hard.

I groan with pain as I try to regain my bearings. It hurts to move, but I assume it’s just the soreness from the fall until I roll on my side and scream with agony as I move weight onto my shoulder.

“Ana!” I hear Kate shriek. She stops next to me, sending a spray of snow across my face. “Oh my god, Ana. Are you okay?”

“No,” I wince, cringing against the fire I feel burning all the way up my arm. “I did something to my right shoulder. It really hurts.”

“Okay, it’s going to be okay,” She says and then turns to the boys. “What do we do?”

“We’ve got to get her down the mountain,” Elliot says, and I can hear in his voice that he is scared.

“Do you think you could ski down, Ana?” Ethan asks, but I shake my head.

“I can’t move,” I say. Tears begin to spring to my eyes as the pain begins to intensify. What have I done?

“Let me look at the shoulder,” Elliot says moving forward. I look at him, alarmed, and see Kate putting her hand on his chest to stop him.

“I don’t know, are you sure you should move her?”

“We need to know what’s wrong. What if it’s broken?”

She nods and Elliot leans down next to me, slowly pulling the zipper of my coat down. I whimper as his movements, however careful they may be, pull on my injured arm. Elliot brushes his hand over my shoulder and again I scream with pain, tears now freely flowing down my face.

“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!” Kate wails as she too begins to cry.

“We’re going to have to get help,” Elliot says, standing next to me. “I think it’s broken.”

“Kate, you stay here. Elliot and I will…” Ethan begins, but his voice cuts off as he’s interrupted by someone up the hill.

“Elliot?” I hear them call, and I recognize the voice immediately as belonging to Christian. He must not be able to see me lying here because there is no anger or fear in his voice, only confusion.

“Christian!” Kate cries in panic, getting off of her knees next to me, I try to look up, but I can’t move my neck enough to see him. Once Kate moves though, he can see me.

“Ana!” He cries, and I hear two quick swipes in the snow before he falls to the ground next to me. “Oh god, what’s wrong. Are you hurt?”

“Her shoulder might be broken,” Kate says, trying to keep calm now that Mia is only a few feet away. Christian rounds on Elliot.

“What the fuck are you doing up here? I told you to stay where you were!” He yells furiously.

“She was doing fine, we thought she could handle it,” He begins.

“Mom and Dad were a few chairs behind us on the lift, they should be coming down any second. Stop them and get Mom over here,” He growls, before turning back to me. “It’s going to be okay, Ana. We’re going to get you help.”

I nod, then try to focus on staying still and on the sound of skiers passing by, hoping one of them will be Grace.

“Mom!” I hear Elliot call, and a few seconds later, Grace, Carrick, and Mr. and Mrs. Lincoln are by my side.

“What happened?” Grace asks, the usual soft spoken sweetness in her voice gone. She’s all business now.

Elliot explains what happened and Grace kneels down next to me to and places her hands gently on my chest.

“I’m going to look at your shoulder, Ana. This may hurt just a little bit.”

I nod and her hands move up, lightly gripping my shoulder, and immediately it’s too much.

“No, no, no!” I cry ,and her hands disappear instantly.

“It’s not broken, just dislocated.” She says firmly. “If we’re going to get her down, I need to pop it back in.”

I take a few deep breaths to steel myself as Grace begins giving orders and I’m surrounded by people holding me down.

“It’s going to be okay, Ana. You’ll feel much better in just a minute,” Christian says worriedly, and I nod as Grace lightly puts her hand on top of my shoulder and forces my arm upwards. There is a sick grinding sound of bone on bone and a blinding flash of pain, but the moment I feel my shoulder slip back into the socket, the pain is gone. It’s sore, but no where near the level of agony it was.

“How do we get her down?” Carrick asks.

“She’s not skiing,” Christian says immediately.

“No, she shouldn’t ski,” Grace agrees. “Kids, why don’t you head down. Tell the lift operator to send ski patrol.”

“Okay, let’s go” Elliot says, moving back to his discarded skis. Christian glares at him as he, Kate, Ethan, and Mia head off down the mountain.

“How do you feel?” Christian asks.

“It’s better now. I can’t feel it anymore,” I say.

“When she gets to the bottom, you’ll need to take her to the hospital, Christian.” Grace says. “She might have muscle damage around the joint and at the very least, she should get a few days worth of painkillers.”

He nods and settles in next to me, gently running his fingers through my hair while we wait for ski patrol. It feels like forever but eventually a group of men in red coats finds us and, as if they’re trying to make this the most humiliating moment of my life, they strap me onto the sled and tow me down the mountain. Kate, Elliot, Ethan, and Mia are there waiting for us at the bottom of the run and because Kate insists on coming to the hospital with Christian and I, they all decide to call it a day and come along.

I’m tucked tightly under Christian’s arm as he guides me to the car, screaming at Elliot the entire way. I have a feeling that if getting me to a hospital wasn’t his top priority, he might have started a fight. The vitrol he spews at his brother is disconcerting, made worse by the trembles of rage I can feel rippling over him. I worry that the possibility of a fight might not be ruled out as on the drive to the hospital, he glances back in his rear view mirror every few seconds to scowl at Elliot.

Aspen Valley Hospital is a small but architecturally beautiful building. Unfortunately, the room I’m put in is bare and boring. Only Christian is allowed to wait with me in the room and it takes nearly an hour for the results of my x-ray to come back. The muscles are fine and the doctor doesn’t think I’ll have any residual issues aside from some mild pain. He writes me a prescription for painkillers and after a quick thank you and a stop by the pharmacy downstairs, we’re on our way back to the cabin.

When the SUV comes to a stop on the curb, I reach over to open the door but almost immediately, Elliot is out of the back seat and holding out his hands to help me. Christian storms around to the passenger’s side and shoves him out of the way.

“Don’t fucking touch her,” He scowls. “You’ve done enough damage for one day.”

“Christian,” I scold him, but he gives me a warning look telling me he’s not in the mood for arguments. I sigh and allow him to lift me gently from the SUV and entwine his hand in mine. As we walk to the front door, I shoot Elliot an apologetic look, knowing I will have words with Christian about his behavior after he’s calmed down.

The cabin is once again filled with the delicious smells of Grace’s dinner and, while we wait to eat, I snuggle down on the couch to watch a movie with Kate and Mia. Christian brings me an ice pack, a glass of water, and a dose of painkillers, and then sits next to me, holding me under his arm as he stares in the direction of the TV, clearly not seeing anything on it. I know he’s stewing about me leaving the run with Kate and Elliot, which means, along with Elliot, he’s probably mad at me too.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper after he takes my plate from dinner to the kitchen.

“Sorry for what?” He asks.

“I should have stayed on the run like you said. Once I got up there, I realized that I hadn’t had enough practice. It was stupid and reckless and I’m sorry.”

“Yes it was all of those things, but it’s not your fault.”

“Elliot didn’t force me to go up there,” I contend.

“No, he didn’t. And while I’d like to hit him in the jaw for putting you at risk like that, it wasn’t his fault either.”

“So why are you mad?”

“It was my fault, Anastasia. I promised you I wouldn’t leave you, but I did, and look what happened.”

“Christian,” I argue, trying to hold back a yawn. My eyelids are growing heavy and I have a sneaking suspicion the painkillers are starting to kick in. I’ve never been good with drugs.

“Shh,” He says quietly. “Get some rest.”

“But…” I protest weakly, knowing I’m fighting a losing battle. I feel his fingers brush lightly through my hair and I can fight it any longer. Snuggling under his arm, I drift off into drug induced oblivion.

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