Chapter 02

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Getting back to Seattle Sunday night is like the hangover after a really long night of drinking. Most of the journey home was fine. Christian and I snuck off to the bedroom at the back of the plane twice and spent the rest of the trip cuddled up on the long, leather sofa in the middle of the plane, talking and laughing with one another. It seems like the connection we revived in the Maldives has real lasting power, but by the time we begin our descent towards SeaTac weā€™re exhausted from the 18 hour flight and hungry for real food cooked in our own kitchen, rather than whatever Natalia has managed to heat up. The moment the plane dips below the thick cover of clouds, our windows are splattered in rain drops and when I lean over to look out at the familiar Seattle skyline I canā€™t help but think how dreary the entire city looks compared to the beautiful paradise weā€™ve lived in for the last week.

ā€œOf course itā€™s raining,ā€ Christian grumbles. I turn and raise an eyebrow at him.

ā€œYou like the rain.ā€

ā€œNot as much as I like laying out on the beach with you. Iā€™m not ready to go back to the real world yet. I liked our bubble.ā€

I hum in agreement and cuddle into his side. ā€œMe too. But I canā€™t wait to get back to Calliope. Do you think she missed us?ā€

ā€œNo,ā€ he says, then laughs. ā€œSheā€™s had Mackensie and Gail with her every second of the day and Kate and Elliot with her in the evenings. I wonā€™t be surprised if we find out my mom came and stayed at least one night too. I bet sheā€™s been spoiled rotten since the moment we stepped out that door.ā€

I shift beneath his arm so I can give him an accusatory look. ā€œMore spoiled than she is with her daddy?ā€

ā€œI donā€™t spoil her.ā€

ā€œYeah, okay.ā€ I roll my eyes, and he narrows his at me.

ā€œI like to think of it as showing her what sheā€™s worth. One day, she wonā€™t be so little anymore.ā€ He pauses, and the gray of his irises darkens. ā€œAnd then the boys will come.ā€

ā€œOh, the horror!ā€

ā€œMmm, but by then Iā€™ll have set her standards so impossibly high that no teenage boy will ever be able to live up to them, and then sheā€™ll stay my sweet, innocent little girl forever.ā€

ā€œAh, the Raymond Steele strategy. Itā€™s foolproof. Well, until she moves out of the house and sleeps with the first man she sees.ā€

His face falls and he sits up in his seat, removing his arm from around my shoulders. ā€œStop it.ā€

I laugh, then glance up at Natalia, who has come by to pick up our empty glasses in preparation for landing. Strangely, the closer we get to the ground the harder the rain seems to fall. It comes down in droves that are very uncharacteristic for late February. When the wheels of the plane finally touch down at SeaTac, they send a wave of water so high into the air that it obstructs my view of the airport.

Christian is the first to stand after weā€™ve stopped and he reaches into the seat across from us to pick up my bag before taking my hand and leading me to the exit. Stephan, our pilot, waits at the door. Christian thanks him for a smooth flight, while I gratefully take the umbrella Natalia offers me and step out onto the wet stairs. The SUV is already waiting on the tarmac with the wiper blades on high. As Christian and I hurry across the water logged pavement, the door opens and two men climb out.

ā€œDid you enjoy your trip, sir?ā€ Taylor asks, reaching for the bag in Christianā€™s hand.

ā€œYes, very much. Thank you. I trust you used your time off well?ā€

ā€œVery well. I actually spent some time with Rayā€¦ er, Mr. Steele. Traded war stories and spent some time outdoors. Heā€™s an incredible man.ā€

ā€œYouā€™re not recruiting him,ā€ I say as his new partner opens the back door for me. I give Taylor a stern look, then turn to my own CPO. ā€œThank you, Woods.ā€

ā€œMy pleasure, Mrs. Grey. Welcome home.ā€

I give him a quick smile, then climb into the car, sliding all the way across the back seat to leave room for Christian. After weā€™re closed inside, Christian immediately pulls out the phone heā€™s actually managed to ignore for the past six days and I turn to watch our security team take our luggage from the flight crew and start loading it into the back.

It took me a long time to warm up to Woods, despite the fact that heā€™s one of the more personable men Taylor hired after the security team rehaul last fall. At first I thought it was because I would never be able to trust an outside security hire again. It was Kommer, after all, who let Gia Matteo and Andrew Lincoln into my apartment that night and I wasnā€™t about to make the same mistake with another CPO I didnā€™t know. But months have past and now that Iā€™ve grown used to Woodsā€™ constant presence and benign, albeit slightly over helpful, demeanor, I think my hesitance with him is because there simply isnā€™t, nor will there ever be, a replacement for Luke Sawyer.

ā€œYou alright?ā€ Christian asks, glancing up at me. I turn and give him a tight smile.

ā€œYeah, just anxious to get home.ā€ The front doors open and Taylor and Woods climb into the SUV. Once Taylor turns the key in the ignition and shifts the car into drive, I lean forward between their seats. ā€œTaylor, how is Calliope doing?ā€

He gives me a rare, warm smile. ā€œSheā€™s perfect, Mrs. Grey. Sheā€™s been an angel all week.ā€

ā€œGood.ā€ I grip his bicep to show my gratitude for his placation, then lean back into my seat and let out a sigh of relief. Christian reaches over and places his hand on the inside of my thigh.

ā€œYou see? I told you, you have nothing to worry about, baby. Weā€™re safe. No one is coming for us.ā€

I nod. ā€œYeah, youā€™re right.ā€ Leaning over, he places a soft kiss on my cheek, then nuzzles me with the tip of his nose.

 

The dark, very wet drive home seems to exacerbate the jet lag that the eleven hour time difference between here and the Maldives has left us with. Christian spends the first twenty minutes or so responding to emails on his phone but, eventually, he too slumps back into his seat and rests his head on top of mine.

ā€œI donā€™t even think Iā€™ll be able to stay awake for dinner,ā€ I say as my eyelids start to droop. Christian nods his head.

ā€œNo. I say we put the baby down and then go straight to bed.ā€

ā€œAgreed.ā€

ā€œActually,ā€ Taylor interjects. ā€œI wouldnā€™t count on that if I were you.ā€

I turn to look up in the rear view mirror just over Taylorā€™s head. ā€œWhy?ā€

He stops at the gate to our house without answering me, then rolls down his window and punches the code into the box next to the driveway. It takes several seconds for the gate to swing open, but once it does I look through the front windshield and immediately have my answer. The driveway is packed full of cars. Kate and Elliot are here, obviously, but so are Grace, Carrick, Mia, and my father.ā€

Christian groans. ā€œGreat. What do you want to bet Elliot is behind this?ā€

I laugh, but itā€™s cut off by a deep, long yawn. ā€œA lot.ā€

The car comes to a stop and when Taylor and Woods step out to come and open the back doors, Christian places a hand beneath my jaw and tilts my lips up to his. ā€œI really loved being with you this week.ā€

ā€œMmm, and every week.ā€

ā€œForever.ā€ He smiles and then kisses me again before entangling his fingers with mine and sliding out of the SUV.

The one good thing about our entire family being here to greet us is the delicious smell that hits us the moment we come through the front door. Some wonderful soul has cooked for us and the sounds of conversation that float into the entryway from the living room carry the overwhelming comfort of home. Quickly abandoning my coat and purse by the door, I hurry past the stairs towards the sound of Calliopeā€™s over excited shrieking and our familyā€™s responding laughter.

ā€œHey!ā€ I call, coming around the corner. Everyone turns in my direction just as Christian appears behind me, and Calliopeā€™s mouth drops open, as if sheā€™s in shock.

ā€œDada?ā€

And just like that, as if sheā€™s said it a hundred times before, Calliopeā€™s first word rings clear and definite around us. Everyone gasps, and we stand there frozen like we all need a moment to be sure we really heard what we think we did.

ā€œHey, Princess,ā€ Christian says, breaking the silence and moving forward to take her out of his motherā€™s hands.

ā€œGod damn it,ā€ Elliot says, deflating with disappointment as he recedes into the couch. ā€œCallie, what are you doing? I thought we were cool.ā€ Kate breaks down into laughter and I raise an eyebrow at her.

ā€œWhat?ā€

ā€œElliot has spent this entire week trying to get her to say uncle. He was determined to make sure that her first wasnā€™t dada.ā€

ā€œAnd sheā€™s betrayed me!ā€

ā€œGood.ā€ Christian laughs, then rubs the tip of his nose gently against Calliopeā€™s. ā€œShe really is my daughter.ā€

ā€œOkay. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!ā€ I reach my hands out for Calliope and Christian lets out a long sigh.

ā€œDo you want to go to mama? Ma-ma?ā€ He elongates the word, breaking it down by each syllable in hopes of getting her to repeat it, but she doesnā€™t. She does, however, turn in his arms so that she can reach for me.

ā€œSo she knows that Iā€™m Mama,ā€ I say, wrapping my hands around her sides and pulling her into me. ā€œShe just wonā€™t say it.ā€

ā€œShe will,ā€ Christian assures me, but the grin on his face doesnā€™t make me feel any better. Of course ā€œdadaā€ was her first word.

ā€œThatā€™s okay.ā€ I turn her and point to Christian. ā€œWhoā€™s that, Calliope?ā€

ā€œDada,ā€ she says.

ā€œThatā€™s right! Thatā€™s dada!ā€ I wrap her tighter in my arms and inhale her warm scent off the top of her head. ā€œGod, I missed you.ā€

ā€œAnd she missed you,ā€ Kate says, using Elliotā€™s help to heave herself off the couch. ā€œShe did fine for the most part, but nights were a little rough. She missed having you tuck her in at bedtime.ā€

ā€œOh, babyā€¦ā€ I lean in to kiss Calliopeā€™s forehead, and she responds by tangling her tiny little fingers in my hair.

ā€œLook at your tan though,ā€ Kate says. ā€œYou look amazing. I kind of hate you right now.ā€

ā€œOh, please,ā€ I reply, rolling my eyes. ā€œYouā€™re glowing. Howā€™s my goddaughter?ā€

She lets out a long sigh and places a hand over her very round baby bump. ā€œActive. She was doing Tae Bo last night when I was trying to sleep.ā€

ā€œAwh.ā€ Shifting Calliope to my hip so that I can hold her with only one arm, I reach out to pull Kate into a side hug and rub her shoulder sympathetically.

ā€œWell, Iā€™m just glad youā€™re back,ā€ Grace says, getting up and coming around the couch to hug us both. ā€œWere the Maldives everything you hoped they would be?ā€

ā€œIt was beautiful,ā€ I tell her, but when she turns to look at Christian he gives her a tight, dismissive smile and breaks eye contact. Grace visibly deflates, but when she turns back to look at me, sheā€™s smiling again.

ā€œWell, Iā€™m glad you had a good time. You deserve it, Ana.ā€

ā€œYes, she does,ā€ my dad says, reaching out to shake Christianā€™s hand before moving past both him and Grace to pull Calliope and I into a hug.

ā€œDaddy, I canā€™t believe you drove all the way here from Montesano. Youā€™ll get home so late.ā€

ā€œThatā€™s fine. We wanted to see you, kiddo. Our visits are becoming much too few and far between.ā€

ā€œYeah, we really need to get out to you more often,ā€ I say, hugging him back. ā€œWaitā€¦ we?ā€

ā€œAnastasia!ā€ I turn and have to fight to keep my smile from faltering when I see my dadā€™s new girlfriend coming towards us, pulling an apron over her head.

ā€œKim! I didnā€™t know you were hereā€¦ā€

ā€œWell your daddyā€™s been talking about you so much I finally told him we had to come up here and see you. Besides, I thought it would be nice for you to come home to a good meal. Lord knows you havenā€™t had anything home cooked in over a week.ā€

ā€œYou really didnā€™t have to do that. We haveā€¦ staff.ā€

ā€œNo you donā€™t,ā€ Elliot says. ā€œGail has sundayā€™s off.ā€

ā€œOh, wellā€¦ still. We could have–ā€

ā€œItā€™s my pleasure, Anastasia. Really. Now, come and get it. Dinnerā€™s ready.ā€ She beams and turns back towards the kitchen, and while the rest of our family moves past us, giving both Christian and I hugs as they go, I have to take a moment to compose myself.

ā€œBe nice,ā€ Christian says, leaning over to whisper in my ear so no one will be able to hear him.

ā€œI didnā€™t say anything,ā€ I hiss back, defensively. He raises and eyebrow at me, then reaches out to brush his thumb over Calliopeā€™s cheek before following the others to the dining room.

ā€œTell me to be nice,ā€ I grumble to Calliope under my breath. ā€œChristian Grey is in no position to tell anyone to be nice.ā€ Thereā€™s no sign of agreement on my babyā€™s face, only enraptured interest as she continues to play with my hair.

Really, thereā€™s no reason for me to harbor any ill feelings towards Kim. Sheā€™s been perfectly lovely every time weā€™ve met. Thoughā€¦ maybe a little too nice. Whoā€™s that happy all the time anyway? No one. I know she makes my dad happy, Iā€™ve seen it in his eyes over and over again for months, but that doesnā€™t make me feel any better either. Not that I donā€™t want him to be happy, I do, butā€¦ Iā€™m used to stepdads. Ray, Stephen, Bobā€¦ Since my mom left Iā€™ve always been the only girl in my dadā€™s life and I liked it like that.

Besides, the loss of my mother is still a wound too sensitive for me to even think about most of the time. The idea of a stepmom, someone who would, no matter how insignificantly, be replacing her in my lifeā€¦ Iā€™m not ready for that. I donā€™t know that Iā€™ll ever be ready for that.

Iā€™m a rational girl. I know that him finding someone to spend time with is not a personal attack against me and now that I have a family of my own and hardly ever see him anymore, itā€™s selfish of me to expect that wonā€™t find someone new to fill the emptiness in his life. But knowing that as certainly as I do doesnā€™t make it hurt any less. Heā€™s my dad, and itā€™s hard to process that Iā€™m not the most important person in his life anymore.

ā€œDada,ā€ Calliope says again, and I give her a smile that I hope she thinks is genuine.

ā€œYeah, Dada. Letā€™s go find Dada.ā€ Lifting her higher up on my hip, I kiss her cheeks and then march forward into the dining room to face my dad and Kim like Iā€™m going off to war.

 

The atmosphere around the table is light and warm. Kim has made a very traditional sunday dinner with roasted chicken, mashed potatoes, salad, and rolls. Christianā€™s already put Calliopeā€™s high chair between his seat and mine, and while I lower her down into it, he puts a dollop of mashed potatoes on her tray and then takes a small portion of chicken and peas into the kitchen to run through the food processor. While heā€™s away, I pick up his plate and fill it with a little bit of everything on the table.

ā€œOh my god, will you look at her making a plate for him?ā€ Kate says. ā€œYou two are so cute, it kind of makes me want to yack.ā€

I roll my eyes. ā€œTakes notes, this is called survival. Once the baby comes, you do everything as a team, or you fail.ā€

ā€œYeah, babe,ā€ Elliot says, leaning towards her and placing a hand over her bump. ā€œYouā€™re going to have to actually act like you love me sometimes.ā€

ā€œWell, someone better call the Academy because even pretending to like you would be a performance worthy of an Oscar.ā€ Elliot laughs then pinches her chin between his thumb and finger so he can tilt her lips up to his.

ā€œAnd you say Ana and Christian make you wanna puke,ā€ Mia says. Everyone around the table laughs.

I scoot my chair as closely to Calliopeā€™s high chair as possible and pick up her spoon, but she simply reaches down, picks up a fist full of mashed potatoes, and stuffs the whole thing in her mouth. She turns to look at me then, with a blob of white slowly oozing out of her mouth and I smile at her. Shaking my head, before scooping the excess away with the spoon, I wait for her to swallow before giving her more.

ā€œOh, Christian,ā€ Elliot says, finally pulling away from Kate once his brother returns to the table and places a small bowl full of chicken and pea mash in front of the baby. ā€œAndrea came by a few days ago. She dropped off something for some new project GEH is working on. She said Welch needs you to look over it as soon as possible.ā€

ā€œIn my office?ā€ Christian asks, but when Elliot nods I reach over to hold him in his seat.

ā€œIt can wait until after dinner. Or maybe until tomorrow when youā€™re actually back at work.ā€ He lets out a slightly irritated sigh, but settles back down in his chair again.

ā€œSomething exciting?ā€ my dad asks. Christian nods.

ā€œVery, actually. Itā€™s kind of my own little pet project.ā€

ā€œOh?ā€ Grace interjects, intrigued.

ā€œYeah. Itā€™s a little outside of our business model so Ros tried to convince me not to invest too heavily in it, especially with it being so experimental. But Iā€™m passionate about it. Business is going well and Ros has a firm hand on the acquisition load, I think itā€™s a good time to work with my R&D department and see if we can make it happen. Indulge a little.ā€

ā€œIndulge?ā€ Kate asks. ā€œWhat are you doing?ā€

He grimaces. ā€œYouā€™ll think itā€™s stupid.ā€

ā€œI will not.ā€ He gives her a pointed look that says he doesnā€™t believe her, so she rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. ā€œYou really think Iā€™m going to write off something Christian Grey wants to explore in the business world as stupid?ā€

ā€œRos did.ā€

ā€œWell, Ros thinks everything you do is stupid,ā€ I say, pulling Calliopeā€™s hands back down to her tray to keep her from rubbing food in her hair.

ā€œJust tell us,ā€ Elliot says. ā€œItā€™s not like any of us would be able to steal your ideas. And if it really is stupid, you can either prove us wrong or we can all say we told you so, and that would be a treat for everyone.ā€ He laughs, but Christian shakes his head.

ā€œIā€™m under no illusions that this could be the biggest failure of my career. But if my team can do it, if we can pull it off, weā€™ll change the world and Iā€™ll become one of the wealthiest and most powerful men on the planet.ā€

ā€œDoing?ā€ Carrick presses him.

He takes a big breath and straightens in his chair. ā€œWith the expansion of our manufacturing division in Taiwan, weā€™ve poured a lot of resources and emphasis into ship building. Itā€™s inspired me more than anything Iā€™ve done in a long time because Iā€™ve always been fascinated with ships and speed versus size. It made me want to push the envelope, find out what else we could be building. Then Lamborghini released the specs for the new Gallardo last fall and as I was looking into buying it, it was like lightning struck.ā€

ā€œSo youā€™re building sports cars?ā€ Mia asks.

ā€œI like to think of it as evolving sports cars.ā€

Elliot raises an eyebrow, actually intrigued. ā€œEvolving how?ā€

ā€œEcological sustainability. Iā€™ve been buying luxury supercars for years, and while every year they get a little faster or a little sleeker, not much has changed in the mechanics. As much as I love them, theyā€™re impractical and wasteful, and itā€™s getting worse. The Lamborghini in the garage is faster than my Bugatti, but the gas mileage is abysmal. It got me thinking about clean energy creation, which I thought for years was the next big frontier of technological innovation. I started wondering if it could ever be possible to build a vehicle as fast and powerful as the worldā€™s best sports cars, but that produced no emissions and left absolutely no ecological footprint.ā€

ā€œSoā€¦ fuel efficiency?ā€ Elliot asks, and Christianā€™s eyes seem to twinkle when he shakes his head.

ā€œIt started that way. But it’s so much more now.ā€

Elliotā€™s brow crinkles with confusion. ā€œDifferent how?ā€

ā€œWhat if it didnā€™t require fuel at all? What if this house didnā€™t, or GEH? What if we could power the world without any kind of combustion? What if we could create an energy source that was self sustaining and that never needed to be replaced?ā€

ā€œLike, solar?ā€

ā€œOr fusion.ā€

That makes Elliot actually fall back into his seat and the look he gives Christian is dubious at best. ā€œYouā€™re talking about perpetual motion.ā€

ā€œThatā€™s exactly what Iā€™m talking about.ā€

He shakes his head. ā€œThatā€™s impossible. The laws of frictionā€¦ā€

ā€œHave been a challenge,ā€ Christian interrupts him. ā€œBut Iā€™ve recruited some of the best nuclear physicists and engineers in the world, and weā€™ve generated real interest in seeing this project through. In fact, those documents Andrea delivered should be a grant approval from NASA.ā€

ā€œAnd all this so you can have a faster sports car?ā€ Kate asks. Christian smiles.

ā€œMy company may change the world, Kate. Maybe even the future of space exploration. Itā€™s best to focus on that rather than my own possibly selfish motivations.ā€

Elliot shakes his head again. ā€œIt doesnā€™t matter what your motivations are, it canā€™t done.ā€

ā€œI donā€™t like the word canā€™t,ā€ Christian says, but Elliot is undeterred.

ā€œI studied this at MIT. Newtonā€™s Law of Motion states that constant velocity can only exist if there is no external unbalanced force acting against it, and you simply canā€™t eliminate friction from momentum. Youā€™re not the first person to dream this dream, but it canā€™t be done. Iā€™m sorry, Christian, youā€™re on a wild goose chase.ā€

ā€œWeā€™ll see.ā€

ā€œI believe in you, baby,ā€ I say, reaching past Calliope to wrap my hand under his elbow. He smiles and leans back so that he can kiss me.

ā€œThank you. Iā€™m glad someone does.ā€ I giggle, and the turn to Carrick, who looks just as glad as the rest of us that Christian and Elliot are done debating the laws of physics, which none of us really understand.

ā€œSo howā€™s the new house coming, Elliot?ā€ Carrick asks.

Elliot takes a deep breath, as though he needs to calm himself before he answers. ā€œItā€™d be going great if someone could make a decision and stick to it.ā€

Kate frowns. ā€œThis is going to be our forever home. I just want it to be perfect.ā€

ā€œWell, Iā€™ve completely gutted and redone our bathroom three times now.ā€

ā€œAnd itā€™s so much better now than it was before.ā€ She turns to me, beaming. ā€œI canā€™t wait to show you my closet. Itā€™s gigantic and I had them design it like a Victoriaā€™s Secret store with pink walls, black furniture, and crystal chandeliers. Bougie as fuck.ā€

I laugh, then pick up a napkin to wipe Calliopeā€™s face, and Christian turns to Mia.

ā€œSpeaking of houses, my realtor sent me a few apartment listings in New York for you to look at. We found one only a few blocks from campus that I think youā€™re going to love.ā€

Mia swallows and seems to shrink in her seat a little. ā€œActuallyā€¦ Iā€™m not going to Juilliard.ā€

ā€œWhat?ā€ Carrick snaps, turning sharp eyes on his daughter, and she cringes.

ā€œYeah. I–uh, I rescinded my application.ā€

Grace looks horrified. ā€œWhy?ā€ Ā 

ā€œIā€™ve decided that itā€™s justā€¦ not the right choice for me.ā€

Carrick lets out a long sigh, then pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. ā€œGood lord, not this again.ā€

ā€œItā€™s not what you think.ā€

ā€œMia, youā€™re going to college. This isnā€™t a discussion, itā€™s whatā€™s going to happen.ā€

She nods. ā€œI know, Iā€™m not saying that Iā€™m not going to college, Iā€™m just not going to Juilliard. Iā€™ve made a lot of mistakes over the past few years and nearly every one of them is because of how selfishly and relentlessly Iā€™ve pursued that school. I compromised a lot of my own values to get there and honestly, after last year with the secrets and the cuttingā€¦ I realized that Iā€™ve lost myself because of it. I looked in the mirror and I didnā€™t like the person who looked back at me. So, I called Juillard and asked them to revoke my application and, instead, I applied to Harvard.ā€

ā€œHarvard?ā€ Grace repeats, and Mia nods.

ā€œYeah. Itā€™s where all the people who I do respect go. Dad, Ana, Kateā€¦ even Christian. Sort of. Iā€™ve decided that ballet just isnā€™t the most important thing to me anymore. I donā€™t want to let blind ambition rule my life. I want to feel like Iā€™m living for a purpose. I want to help people. So, Iā€™m going to Harvard to study pre-law, like Dad. And one day, when I become a lawyer just like him, Iā€™m going to dedicate my career to advocating for people who canā€™t fight for themselves. To giving a voice to people who have none.ā€

Christian frowns. ā€œButā€¦ ballet has always been your passion, Mia. Itā€™s part of who you are.ā€

ā€œAnd Harvard has a dance team. I mean, itā€™s not like Iā€™m trying to get into some underfunded state school. Harvardā€™s ballet program is actually amazing. Iā€™ll train there while I go to school and, hopefully, still be able to live out my dream of dancing in front of packed theater in New York one day. But you and Dad were right. Ballet has a shelf life. I could be injured tomorrow or in school and my career would be over before it even started. This way, if the worst happens or even if I just get too old to dance they way Iā€™d have to in order to stay relevant, Iā€™ll still have purpose. I can move onto something meaningful.ā€

ā€œHarvard isnā€™t a joke, Meems,ā€ Elliot says. ā€œItā€™s not just something you can do on the side while you dance and use as a fall back. Itā€™s hard work and you should really think about that before you throw Juilliard away.ā€

ā€œIā€™ve already thought about it, over and over again. This is what I want.ā€

ā€œWell, thatā€™s great, Mia,ā€ Carrick says. ā€œBut itā€™s February. The application deadlines have pastā€¦ā€

ā€œI applied last fall. I didnā€™t want to say anything until I knew because I didnā€™t know if my SAT score was going to be good enough to get me in, but I think the essay I wrote swayed the admissions board because I got my acceptance letter last week. I was just waiting until we were all together to say something. Iā€™m going to Harvard next year.ā€

The corner of Carrickā€™s mouth ticks upwards as he unconsciously starts to smile. ā€œYou were accepted?ā€

Mia nods.

ā€œSweetheart, thatā€™s amazing!ā€

ā€œCongratulations, Meems!ā€ I get up out of my seat to come around the table to hug her, and as I wrap her in my arms the uncertainty on her face melts away and she starts to grin. Kate wobbles over next and squeals with excitement as she wraps Mia in a huge bear hug, and Christian pulls Mia up and out of her seat when Kate finally releases her.

ā€œIā€™m so proud of you,ā€ he tells her, squeezing her tightly.

ā€œThanks,ā€ she says, and when she settles back into her chair, she turns to look at her father. ā€œSo, I guess now would be a good time to tell you that I have to go to Cambridge the first weekend of March. Thereā€™s a big freshman orientation thing that everyone is required to come to.ā€

ā€œOh my god, I remember that!ā€ Kate says. ā€œAna, do you remember that weekend? It was a blast. Thatā€™s when we picked Grays for our dorm.ā€

ā€œWhen you picked Grays,ā€ I remind her. ā€œI wanted to live in Hollis.ā€

ā€œWell, Iā€™m very glad you didnā€™t,ā€ Christian says, looking over at me and smiling.

ā€œYeah, but requesting dorm assignments is only part of it,ā€ Mia says. ā€œThereā€™s a ton of stuff that we have to do that weekend and I canā€™t miss it.ā€

ā€œThe first weekend of March?ā€ Carrick asks dubiously as he turns to look at Grace. She frowns.

ā€œThatā€™s only two weeks away, I have surgeries plannedā€¦ā€

ā€œYeah, I canā€™t either,ā€ Carrick says. ā€œNot until the legislative session ends. I have three outstanding appointments with the city council.ā€

ā€œIā€™d take you, but Kateā€™s in her third trimester and Iā€™m not going to fly all the way across the country from her,ā€ Elliot says. ā€œShe could go into laborā€¦ā€

ā€œIā€™ll take her,ā€ I interject, and Christian turns to me in surprise.

ā€œYou?ā€

ā€œSure. Weā€™ll have a great time. I havenā€™t been back since graduation and Iā€™ve missed it. A lot, actually. And I know Cambridge really well, so I can show her all my favorite places to eat or hang out. When sheā€™s busy with orientation, I can stay at the house and write. Thatā€™s why we kept it, isnā€™t it?ā€

ā€œYeah, it is. Well, I can rearrange some things in my schedule and…ā€

ā€œOh, no,ā€ Mia says, shaking her head. ā€œWho invited you, Christian? Harvard Alum only.ā€

He glares at her, but I nod in agreement. ā€œI mean, she makes a fair point.ā€

ā€œYou want to go alone?ā€

ā€œShe wonā€™t be alone,ā€ Mia says. ā€œSheā€™ll be with me. Itā€™ll be fun, just the two of us. Like a girlā€™s weekend.ā€

ā€œYeah. Fun,ā€ I repeat. ā€œBesides, I donā€™t think anyone here is as used to travelling from Seattle to Cambridge as I am. Itā€™ll actually feel kind of normal and normal is good.ā€

ā€œAlright,ā€ Christian concedes. ā€œThen Iā€™ll schedule the jet to take you.ā€

ā€œYes!ā€ Mia exclaims. ā€œNo offense, but I thought going with my parents would be kind of lame. But with Ana, Ah! Iā€™m so excited!ā€

ā€œMe too.ā€ I wink at her, and as she continues to celebrate her Ivy League acceptance with her parents, and even my father. Christian leans over to whisper in my ear.

ā€œYouā€™re sure youā€™re ready for this?ā€

ā€œYeah. Actually, I kind of think spending time alone with Mia is going to be great.ā€

ā€œGood.ā€ He kisses my cheek. ā€œI love that you love my family so much.ā€

ā€œYou mean our family?ā€

He smiles, and tilts my face so that he can press his lips into mine, but itā€™s not long before our perfectly innocent kiss is interrupted by Elliot.

ā€œAlright, alright. Once Ana and Christian start making out itā€™s time to go.ā€

ā€œYeah,ā€ Kate agrees. ā€œI love you guys, but me and the little miss need to go to bed.ā€

ā€œAnd weā€™ve got a long drive home,ā€ my dad adds. ā€œCan we help you clean up?ā€

ā€œOh, god no.ā€ I wave him off. ā€œYou made dinner. Andā€¦ thank you, Kim. It was delicious.ā€

She smiles. ā€œIt was my pleasure, Annie. Come see us soon?ā€

I grit my teeth as I return her smile, trying not to let my displeasure at her using my fatherā€™s nickname for me show through. ā€œOf course.ā€

ā€œSee you later, kid.ā€ My dad leans down and kisses the top of my head, then scoops Calliope up and blows a raspberry on her tummy. She shrieks with joy but immediately turns and starts to reach for Christian.

ā€œDada, dada.ā€

ā€œWell, this is going to be fun,ā€ I sigh. ā€œIā€™m glad she can now vocalize her preference for Christian. As if her screams every time he left the house werenā€™t enough, now she can actually tell everyone how much more she loves him than me. Itā€™s good. Real good.ā€

Christian laughs as he takes Calliope from my dad, and shakes his hand again. We each give out hugs to Kate, Elliot, and Mia, but while Grace heads out for her car, Carrick hangs behind.

ā€œIā€™ve narrowed it down to three names for police chief. My office will do one more round of interviews and then Iā€™ll pick one of them to present to city council for appointment.ā€

ā€œAnd theyā€™ll be on our side?ā€ I ask. ā€œYouā€™re sure?ā€

ā€œPositive. Trust me, Ana. Iā€™m going to find everyone who was responsible for what happened and make sure they end up behind bars.ā€

ā€œHow long will that take?ā€

ā€œI donā€™t know. But I want you to know that Iā€™m working on it. I havenā€™t forgotten, and I wonā€™t.ā€

I take a deep breath, then nod, and Carrick leans in to give Callie one last kiss before he goes. Christian and I linger in the doorway while we watch everyone pull down the driveway. Once the gate closes behind the last car, Christian puts the code in the box that shuts everything down, then turns to follow me in the kitchen. We both carry in plates from the dining room, but as I start actually doing dishes, he becomes too absorbed in Calliope saying his name again and again to be much help.

ā€œOur baby might be a genius, Ana,ā€ he says proudly. ā€œWe should really look into getting her enrolled in an advanced preschool program.ā€

ā€œSheā€™s said one word, Christian,ā€ I say, rolling my eyes.

ā€œYes, but her diction is perfect.ā€

ā€œSheā€™s not even a year old.ā€

ā€œBut the earlier we get her enrolled in pre-school, the better chance we have of getting her into a good primary school, which will get her into the best secondary schools, and eventually, Harvard.ā€

ā€œOkay, Carrick,ā€ I say dryly as I place the final plate in the dishwasher and turn the knob to start it.

ā€œWhat do you mean?ā€

ā€œI mean, maybe we should give her a chance to be a kid before we start sending in college applications.ā€

ā€œA mind like hers shouldnā€™t be wasted, Anastasia.ā€

I turn and lean against the sink, giving him a pointed look that doesnā€™t seem to have much effect on his resolve. Itā€™s baffling. For a smart man, sometimes he can be very obtuse.

ā€œCome on, Munchkin,ā€ I say, moving towards him and taking her out of his arms. ā€œItā€™s way past your bedtime.ā€

Surprisingly, she doesnā€™t fight me as I pull her into me and carry her off to the nursery, perhaps because Christian follows right behind us. While I lay her down in the bed and remove the teddy bear that has no business being in the crib with her, Christian winds up the mobile that dangles over her and fills the room with the soft tinkling sounds of music. We each lean over the edge of the crib railing and kiss her goodnight. Normally, Iā€™d sit in the rocking chair beside the crib and read aloud to her, but tonight seems to have worn her out enough. Sheā€™s already half asleep by the time we pull away, and as we creep out of the room and switch off the light, she doesnā€™t make a sound.

ā€œAlone again,ā€ Christian says when we make it back to our bedroom. He captures my face between his hands, kisses me tenderly, and pushes me back to our bed. I gasp slightly as I fall back onto the mattress and he crawls over the top of me. We start tearing away each otherā€™s clothes, but only seconds after he starts kissing me again, he stops and pulls away.

ā€œWhatā€™s wrong?ā€ I ask.

ā€œWould you mind if weā€¦ just went to sleep?ā€

ā€œOh, thank god,ā€ I say with relief. ā€œIā€™m so tired, I thought I was going to drop Calliope coming up the stairs.ā€

He laughs, but the sound slowly dies away, leaving him looking almost forlorn. ā€œI guess our vacation really is over, huh?ā€

ā€œI guess so.ā€

He sighs and kisses me again, then moves so we can pull down the covers and crawl into bed together. He pulls me tightly against him as he settles into sleep, and I lie there in the dark, encased in his warmth, waiting for his body to relax and his breathing to even out. Once Iā€™m sure heā€™s asleep, I gently ease his arms off of me and roll out of bed. With one last look at his peaceful face, I turn and leave the room, heading straight for my office downstairs.

The security team should be off for the night, but the window from my office is visible from Taylorā€™s room, so I donā€™t turn on the light. I plop down in my chair, pick up the landline on my desk, and start to dial.

ā€œHello,ā€ a very groggy voice answers.

ā€œLuke? Iā€™m sorry, did I wake you?ā€

ā€œYeah, but thatā€™s okay. Whatā€™s up?ā€

ā€œI have an excuse to go to Cambridge. Alone.ā€

ā€œReally?ā€

ā€œYeah, Mia got into Harvard and needs someone to take her to orientation. Christian is going to schedule our flight for the first weekend of March.ā€

ā€œGood. Iā€™ll meet you there. We still on for Wednesday?ā€

I take a deep breath. ā€œAbsolutely.ā€

Next Chapter

37 thoughts on “Chapter 02

  1. Wednesday? What are they cooking up? And why is Christian a little distant with Grace? So intriguing. I canā€™t wait to read more!!
    ā˜ŗļøā˜ŗļø

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    1. I donā€™t think heā€™s distant. Maybe the look was because he mightā€™ve hoped getting her away would help with her nightmares and the look was to let her know that she still had them and it wasnā€™t as smooth as he had hoped for

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  2. Did I miss something? Why isn’t our favorite friendly CPO no longer guarding Ana? Were his injuries from ‘the Escala nightmare’ too severe to allow him to return?

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  3. Glad it’s not cheating. Is she trying to get Luke and Mia together? Or is he going to help in data on who ever was behind the madness? Love it but please update soon.

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  4. Ok Ana you need to keep Christian informed of the plans u and Carrick are doing to expose those involved in this ugly traumatic situation. U hate when Christian keeps secret so I shouldnā€™t either. Oh danger will Robinson danger is looming!

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  5. ā€œThere’s always a calm before the storm…ā€
    – Heather Graham

    A quote for Ana ~
    “It’s not the future that you’re afraid of. It’s repeating the past that makes you anxious.”
    – Paul Hudson

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  6. Several intriguing things about this chapter.

    First, sounds like Sawyer is assigned to living/watching the Cambridge house. Which makes sense, I guess. I mean, you don’t just want to leave a house empty, ESPECIALLY if people know THE Christian Grey owns said house. And given what happened to it previously, you can see WHY someone needs to make sure evildoers aren’t breaking into the place and leaving surveillance equipment.

    Still, wonder why SAWYER was tasked with this rather than staying as security for Ana and/or Calliope? It may be that Sawyer’s injuries were severe enough to keep him from being able to actively be on the front lines of security. I guess we will get more intel NEXT chapter.

    PLUS, next chapter is the infamous CHAPTER 3, when something is expected to happen. AND now we know that Ana AND Mia will be in Cambridge together, along with Sawyer.

    Now, it’s not that I question Mia’s MOTIVATION for going to Harvard, but. . . .well, yeah, I DO question Mia. I WANT to believe that she is genuine in what she says, I really do. And Mia may really want Harvard for all the reasons that she has given, but I wonder if Mia is suffering in a similar manner to Ana. Next chapter could be revealing to see whether Mia and/or Ana have trouble being separated from almost everyone else.

    We also don’t know YET if the Andrew “holdovers” in the police corruption are planning on making some kind of move on the Grey family. The assumption is that any threat toward the Grey family is over and done with since Andrew is now dead. HOWEVER, now that Carrick is fixing to put in his own police chief, someone might be motivated to show their unhappiness with things being stirred up.

    LASTLY, it sounds like the rest of the Grey family has really noticed Ana’s issues, and the vacation was supposed to be a chance for Christian to convince Ana to get help when they returned. THAT was what Grace was trying to get out of CHristian, in my opinion, when she asked if the vacation had been “successful.” But Ana is still in DENIAL, which means that NEXT CHAPTER may be when it REALLY hits Ana. Still, I wouldn’t think it likely that Ana would have a panic attack or breakdown with Sawyer around.

    And REALLY LASTLY, Ana has been in contact with Sawyer about SOMETHING. I would guess that it would be about Andrew’s former minions. But why keep that from Christian or the rest of the Grey family? Could it have anything to do with Carter? There, again, I couldn’t see any reason to keep that from CHristian. (AND I can’t see Ana OR Christian cheating with anyone.)

    We haven’t yet heard about CARTER. Christian PROMISED him Harvard Law. So presumably, he is there now. Did Mia ever meet Carter? I wonder if Ana will introduce Mia to Carter in order to ask Carter to keep an eye out for Mia on the Harvard campus? I could see Ana wanting to make sure that Mia had someone she KNEW was already on campus that could also look out for any guys that would come sniffing around Mia, looking for a trust-fund handout. And Carter has proven that he IS a decent guy deep down.

    STILL, Ana clearly has a SPECIFIC REASON for wanting to go to Cambridge now. Hopefully, we will get the details next chapter.

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    1. Okay, have to CHANGE the above, since in re-reading the chapter, Sawyer MUST be in Seattle still if Ana is going to meet him on Wednesday. Still, the cloak-and-dagger stuff is interesting. AND Ana has wanted a reason to go to Cambridge alone. So still wondering what specific business Ana has that needs to happen in Cambridge and that she doesn’t want to tell Christian about.

      So I’m doubly curious about what Ana needs in Cambridge. Since I don’t think Ana would ever cheat on Christian, I’m not worried about her trying to hook up with Carter. HOWEVER, Ana might want to see or talk to Carter about what had happened, and we all KNOW that Christian just wouldn’t want Ana around Carter for any reason, given Carter’s admission of still having had feelings for Ana. (BUT would Christian have told Ana that? I can’t see him doing so.)

      Hey Tara, are we going to get any kind of CARTER-related update next chapter?

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  7. Oh, loved the fact that Taylor and Ray have done some bonding. And poor Ana about the potential “stepmom” thing.

    And it was SO CUTE when Calliope said “dada” and then kept on saying it! AND Christian talking about his daughter’s “diction” being so perfect! AND Ana comparing Christian to Carrick, with him ALREADY planning his daughter’s Harvard future!

    LOVED the little Callie moments and also KATE being so hard on Elliot about having the PERFECT house.

    There is concern for Ana by Christian and his parents, and there is a disconnect between Ana and Christian, especially as to Ana needing help to deal with everything that happened. Carrick’s describing Ana previously as a “shell” of a person was alarming. Still, I trust Ana will eventually be forced to deal with what has happened, it is just determining what the TRIGGER will be that causes her to own up to her current state-of-mind. I DON’T fear cheating by either Ana OR Christian, though. These two have been through TOO MUCH to be together and just wouldn’t do that to the other person. But that doesn’t mean that they won’t have problems while waiting for Ana to come to terms with what has happened.

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  8. Thank you for confirming no cheating. They’ve come so far and ultimate for each other, don’t ever think they would. A lot of developments. Ray and Kim, Mia going to Harvard, Luke no longer Ana’s CPO and Christian’s new and ambitious project. Glad Ana supports and has faith in it. It was precious Calliope calling Christian dada. Kim is a little fast forward with Annie when Ana is still trying to accept Ray with partner. It is just a lot for her to take. Why and what does she plan in Harvard and not telling Christian? She doesn’t like it when he doesn’t communicate, ditto he too. Look forward to next huge chapter. Thank you, Tara. Xoxo daytona

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  9. Me quedƩ totalmente intrigada de que estƔn planteando Ana y Luke.
    Esto me suena a problemas
    Gran capĆ­tulo!

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  10. Meeting with Luke on Wednesday? When did they plan it and where is Luke now? Will he be going with them for the trip or Woods. The Cambridge trip should not take that long so Ana offered to go with Mia since there is no one left that could go with her.Will Calliope stay behind in Seattle since it should only take a few days to be in Cambridge. Carrick is determined to find anyone that was associated with Linc and clean up and inflict punishment. Hope he succeed without too much disruptive confrontations. Grace was eager to know if the Maldives trip was everything they hope to be and Christian just gave her a dismissive smile because Ana’s nightmares had not stopped. Christian’s ambitions continuous pushing his limits and success is what he plans happening. Next chapters should give us more answers. Thank you, Tara.

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  11. Loved this chapter and Callie calling Christian dada. Sad that Luke is no longer Ana’s CPO, but as her friend he’s too close to the situation. I knew they’d still be friends and hang out. I love that. As for Ray’s girlfriend *BARF* she has some balls using Ray’s nickname for Ana. I don’t like her, she’s trying too hard. I hate other people in my kitchen. I don’t care who they are (ok, i’m being super petty, lol). Still, Kim needs to know her place and ease herself into this.

    Mia’s maturity has stunned and shocked me. She gave up Julliard for Harvard…impressive and scary. Can’t wait to see how her maturity unfolds in this story. Love that she and Ana are going to Harvard for Freshman week šŸ™‚ I felt so sad, though, while Ana was thinking of Carla. The fact that they never got a chance to make up is heartbreaking.

    I hope Carrick can get the streets of Seattle clean and deal with all the dirty cops and anyone else involved with Andrew Lincoln. Thanks for another amazing chapter in this series.

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  12. Hey tara! !!! Thanks for an amazing chapter once again:) I am sorry to just drop this on you but can you please give us a playlist for your book as my friend is starting your book from ADSOF and I wanted her to have musics to go with so if it is not too much can you please compile a list of songs for parts you see fit. As always a big fan

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  13. Great chapter. What are sawyer and Ana investigating not telling anyone will blowup in their faces. Should be interesting. Canā€™t wait. Thank you.

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  14. Yeah I thought oh no why!!! She’s cheating then o saw the above comment and went woo thank author lol. She is up to some mischief.

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  15. Can’t blame Ana at all for being a bit leery of security especially after Kommer’ betrayal.

    That was sweet of Ray’s girlfriend to cook dinner for everyone to welcome Ana and Christian home.

    WOW Mia sure as shit surprised the heck out of everyone with her acceptance to Harvard. Ana’s going to Harvard with Mia sounds like trouble to me? šŸ˜‰ What the blue blazes are Ana and Luke up to????

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